A KINGLY PROPOSAL: LETTER FROM JULIAN ASSANGE TO KING CHARLES III

To His Majesty King Charles III,
On the coronation of my liege, I thought it only fitting to extend a heartfelt invitation to you to commemorate this momentous occasion by visiting your very own kingdom within a kingdom: His Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh.

You will no doubt recall the wise words of a renowned playwright: “The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath.”

Ah, but what would that bard know of mercy faced with the reckoning at the dawn of your historic reign? After all, one can truly know the measure of a society by how it treats its prisoners, and your kingdom has surely excelled in that regard.

Your Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh is located at the prestigious address of One Western Way, London, just a short foxhunt from the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich. How delightful it must be to have such an esteemed establishment bear your name.

It is here that 687 of your loyal subjects are held, supporting the United Kingdom’s record as the nation with the largest prison population in Western Europe. As your noble government has recently declared, your kingdom is currently undergoing “the biggest expansion of prison places in over a century”, with its ambitious projections showing an increase of the prison population from 82,000 to 106,000 within the next four years. Quite the legacy, indeed.

As a political prisoner, held at Your Majesty’s pleasure on behalf of an embarrassed foreign sovereign, I am honoured to reside within the walls of this world class institution. Truly, your kingdom knows no bounds.

During your visit, you will have the opportunity to feast upon the culinary delights prepared for your loyal subjects on a generous budget of two pounds per day. Savour the blended tuna heads and the ubiquitous reconstituted forms that are purportedly made from chicken. And worry not, for unlike lesser institutions such as Alcatraz or San Quentin, there is no communal dining in a mess hall. At Belmarsh, prisoners dine alone in their cells, ensuring the utmost intimacy with their meal.

Beyond the gustatory pleasures, I can assure you that Belmarsh provides ample educational opportunities for your subjects. As Proverbs 22:6 has it: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Observe the shuffling queues at the medicine hatch, where inmates gather their prescriptions, not for daily use, but for the horizon-expanding experience of a “big day out”—all at once.

You will also have the opportunity to pay your respects to my late friend Manoel Santos, a gay man facing deportation to Bolsonaro’s Brazil, who took his own life just eight yards from my cell using a crude rope fashioned from his bedsheets. His exquisite tenor voice now silenced forever.

Venture further into the depths of Belmarsh and you will find the most isolated place within its walls: Healthcare, or “Hellcare” as its inhabitants lovingly call it. Here, you will marvel at sensible rules designed for everyone’s safety, such as the prohibition of chess, whilst permitting the far less dangerous game of checkers.

Deep within Hellcare lies the most gloriously uplifting place in all of Belmarsh, nay, the whole of the United Kingdom: the sublimely named Belmarsh End of Life Suite. Listen closely, and you may hear the prisoners’ cries of “Brother, I’m going to die in here”, a testament to the quality of both life and death within your prison.

But fear not, for there is beauty to be found within these walls. Feast your eyes upon the picturesque crows nesting in the razor wire and the hundreds of hungry rats that call Belmarsh home. And if you come in the spring, you may even catch a glimpse of the ducklings laid by wayward mallards within the prison grounds. But don’t delay, for the ravenous rats ensure their lives are fleeting.

I implore you, King Charles, to visit His Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh, for it is an honour befitting a king. As you embark upon your reign, may you always remember the words of the King James Bible: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7). And may mercy be the guiding light of your kingdom, both within and without the walls of Belmarsh.

Your most devoted subject,

Julian Assange

A9379AY

Imo, Assange should receive a medal, not a prison sentence. Anywhere.

a reply to: Mrs Darko

All I can say is ...

BOO-YAH!

And drop that mic!

a reply to: seshan1651

Is there any way to notify admin of spam posts, or do we just wait until one stumbles upon them?

I won't be watching the coronation.

There's a certain Doctor Who episode that shows everyone huddled around tv sets for a coronation

Season 2 Episode 7 The Idiots Lantern.

The wire is hungry!!

a reply to: incoserv

Click on the little bod underneath the posters profile, press Alert!

a reply to: Mrs Darko

The continued detention of Julian Assange in Belmarsh top security prison along with murderers and terrorist's makes a mockery of any complaints we may make against countries who detain journalists who speak out against the wrongs commited by those countries, it is a continued stain on our reputation.

King Charles won't do anything but if he did I'm sure he would earn the respect of many in this country including myself.

End the shame , Free Assange !

Just as Pope Urban VIII is now forever cast as the vile and barbaric jailer of Galileo, imprisoned for telling the truth, so will Assange be the reason the U.K. crown and establishment are the villains of future history books.

The pomp and ceremony that seems so loud and distracting now, doing the job of concealing venality and violence, will lift like a morning mist over time revealing for every child and adult that our current rulers ruled by insidious terror, lies and cruelty, silencing the truth in their dungeons.

a reply to: gortex

I couldn't agree more.

His continued imprisonment is a stain on this nations honour.
He should be released with immediate affect.

Thing is, Charlie Boy can't do anything.
He hasn't got the power to do so, and rightly so.

Its those wankers in Westminster that need admonishing and those whose interests they truly serve.

Im sure if the king was to publicly admonish Westminster for how they’re treating Jules they would take heed and do something.

a reply to: Freeborn

What a jumped up little twerp he is. Hasn't learned an ounce of humility and still thinks he's the most important person in the universe whilst simultaneously having no regard or respect for anyone else.

And no, I'm not talking about the king.

originally posted by: AndyMayhew
What a jumped up little twerp he is. Hasn't learned an ounce of humility and still thinks he's the most important person in the universe whilst simultaneously having no regard or respect for anyone else.

And no, I'm not talking about the king.

How dare that political prisoner mock the global overlords that have detained him for years.

Governments doing illegal stuff is actually a good thing and damn him to hell for daring interfere with democratic murder, theft, and all the other glorious signs of human progress.

And using his platform to bring light to prisoners held in inhumane conditions, the absolute nerve. The selfishness and hubris.

The world does not revolve around you Mr. Assange, I tell you this from my cozy chair in the most freest country to ever be free. You have been rebuked sir, for your ridiculous dissent to permanent incarceration by a global cartel of authoritarians.

originally posted by: AndyMayhew
What a jumped up little twerp he is. Hasn't learned an ounce of humility and still thinks he's the most important person in the universe whilst simultaneously having no regard or respect for anyone else.

And no, I'm not talking about the king.

He put his freedom and life on the line to release the truth. Hopefully you've done more if you're to criticize?

He's got more honor in his little pinky than all governments combined.

Although I believe that I agree with him in spirit, Julian Assange is much more eloquent than this hillbilly American. IMHO a man is much more than vagrancy of whose crotch you’re yanked out of.
In only two words I can summarize my feelings for the new British King.

“ Fu@k Chuck”

a reply to: Freeborn

His continued imprisonment is a stain on this nations honour. He should be released with immediate affect.

Along with Sweden and the US.

I think they expected to be able to get some of the other charges to stick. When all that fell apart they all doubled down.

It’s the most disgusting example of abuse of powers against the press from the west in my lifetime I believe.

The US wants to charge him with the espionage act even though he isn’t American, wasn’t in the US while he was dropping the leaks, and provided his information to the public, not secretly (that I know of) to foreign powers.

originally posted by: SprocketUK
a reply to: surfer_soul
POST REMOVED BY STAFF

It is - I'm not nearly as good looking in real life


Anyway, I have been persuaded - dozens of cult members can't be wrong - and recant all I have said.

"The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date! The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date! The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date! " come on, everyone, join in: "The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date! "