posted on Jan, 1 2020 @ 11:05 PM
Three dead guys are in line waiting to get into heaven. Because the line was so backed up St. Peter said the order of entry would be based on how
tragic the deaths were and said each of them would have to explain how they died. So he asks the first man and the first man says, "I live on the 42nd
floor of an apartment building. I've suspected for a while that my wife was cheating on me but I could never catch her at it so today I came home
early from work on purpose. I rushed in to the apartment sure I would catch her this time. I found her lying naked in bed like she had just been
having sex. So I checked under the bed and there was no one there. I checked in the closet and there was no one there. I checked everywhere but there
was no one there. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw some naked guy hanging from the railing on the balcony. I flew into a rage and tried to pry
his fingers off the railing but he wouldn't let go. I went back inside and got a lamp and beat his hands until he fell. I was sure I got him but the
lucky son of a bitch landed in a big fluffy bush and seemed to be alright. I couldn't let him get away so I pushed the refrigerator out on the
balcony, over the railing, and squashed him flat with it. I was overjoyed for the moment but the exertion and the excitement was too much for me and I
had a heart attack. And here I am.
St. Peter said, "That is tragic indeed. But lets hear what the next man has to say." The second man in line stepped up and said, "It was such a nice
day I decided to stay home and get a few things done around my apartment. I live on the 43rd floor of an apartment building. I did the housework and
felt pretty good so I thought I would work out a bit. I was doing some aerobics and working up a good sweat but I felt really warm so I slipped out of
my workout clothes and went to finish my workout in the nude. I tripped on my sweatsuit and over the railing I went. I was lucky to have caught hold
of the railing just below mine but I was too weak after my workout to pull myself up to safety. I thought for sure I was going to die when all of a
sudden a man ran out onto the balcony. I was so relieved that someone was there to help me but instead of helping me he starts trying to pry my
fingers off the railing! I held on for dear life but then he started beating my hands with a lamp and I had to let go. I fell thinking for sure I was
a dead man but I landed in this big fluffy bush and apart from some scrapes and bruises, I was alright! I was about to get up and celebrate when this
refrigerator comes flying out of nowhere and lands on me. Bang! I'm dead. And here I am."
St. Peter says, "Truly tragic. Lets hear one more and looks at the third man in line. The third man says, "Well you see, its like this. I was hiding
in this guy's refrigerator..."