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Come on - worst jokes ever thread :)

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posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 04:49 PM
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a reply to: PandaPrincess
I suppose you know the story pf the three wells.
What!? You don't know the story of the three wells?
Well, well, well.




posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 05:01 PM
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a reply to: PandaPrincess
Blond jokes are the worst in my opinion. IE Why do Men date blonds...so they can park in the handicap parking slots


edit on 30-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 05:39 PM
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originally posted by: PandaPrincess

originally posted by: GeertrudeS
What did the salad say to the refrigertor? Close the door I"m dressing!


thats literaly the only joke i found funny


shame on the rest of you


You requested bad jokes.

Literally the worst jokes ever.

Your wish is our command.




posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 05:40 PM
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originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck
a reply to: PandaPrincess
Blond jokes are the worst in my opinion. IE Why do Men date blonds...so they can park in the handicap parking slots



Blonde: What does "IDK" mean?

Brunette: I don't know.

Blonde: OMG! Nobody knows!




posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 06:32 PM
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Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.

Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok.

Confucius say: Australian gay man may have fun with women, but sooner or later, go back to Sidney!



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 06:32 PM
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a reply to: PandaPrincess

A frog walks into a bar.

The bartender says: hey we have a drink named after you!

The frog says: You have a drink named Steve?



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 06:51 PM
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A sheep walks into a bar. The bartender says "Welcome to my baa." (It was in Boston)



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 07:24 PM
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originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: PhilbertDezineck
a reply to: PandaPrincess
Blond jokes are the worst in my opinion. IE Why do Men date blonds...so they can park in the handicap parking slots



Blonde: What does "IDK" mean?

Brunette: I don't know.

Blonde: OMG! Nobody knows!


A blond is a red head who's lost her fire and her brain function?
edit on 30-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 07:27 PM
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A thief, a liar, and a traitor walk into a bar. The bartender says:
"Good evening, Mrs. Clinton."



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 07:35 PM
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a reply to: ColeYounger
Good one had !!!!



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 07:55 PM
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A penguin, while driving through Arizona, suddenly had car problems and had to pull into a small mechanics shop .

Being a Penguin, and not used to such a hot climate, he asked the mechanic to look his car over while he walked next door to an ice cream shop and ordered a vanilla ice cream cone.

With the rapidly melting cone in hand, he walks back over to the garage, when the greasy mechanic peeks out from under the hood, nods at the Penguin and says :

"Well bro, looks like you blew a seal"

The penguin looks irritated and says :

"Come on man! You can see it's just the ice cream melting!"


*leaves stage*



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 07:58 PM
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And speaking of blondes....



What do you call a naked upside down blonde?





A brunette.



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 07:59 PM
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a reply to: Maverick1

That was good one





posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 08:14 PM
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a reply to: PandaPrincess

Why did the blond cry when she got her drivers license?
Because she got an F in sex.



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 08:28 PM
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Little Johnny was bad at math, terrible at it, mainly because he wouldn't study seriously.

His parents tried everything they could think of.

Finally, at wits end, they sent the boy to reform school until he would take math seriously.

After a month or so, his math grade was still awful.

So they sent him to Military school instead.

Again, after a month, no luck, little Johnny STILL didn't take math seriously.

FINALLY, without any other options, they sent the kid to Catholic school.

After the first day, Little Johnny came home with a math test grade of A plus!

Bewildered, his folks asked him why the Catholic school worked when nothing else would.

Little Johnny lowered his head and whispered:

"Well, when I went in, the first thing I saw was a big painting of this one dude they nailed to a giant plus sign, so I thought I better take it seriously........."



*slips out the nearest exit*



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 08:30 PM
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a reply to: Joeshiloh
A blonde was siting in a bar a guy comes up and asked her name a puzzled look came across her face and she began to hum the happy birthday song and responded it's Tiffany and I'm only 22 or that's what they sang Last time...


edit on 30-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: (no reason given)

edit on 30-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 08:44 PM
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a reply to: DISRAELI
This a non PC one.
Did you hear about the three gay guys, they caught a lesbian in the park and threw her to the ground and molested her by giving her a new hairdo!


edit on 30-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: (no reason given)

edit on 30-12-2019 by PhilbertDezineck because: spelling and fotatting



posted on Dec, 30 2019 @ 11:07 PM
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a reply to: PandaPrincess

Guy out walking hears someone say "Hey you". He looks up, and all around, and does not see anything, so he starts walking again, then he hears it again, looks down and sees a frog; he scoops it up in his hand and the frogs says to him "if you kiss me I'll turn into the girl of your dreams". He then puts the frog in his pocket and starts walking again. The frog starts kicking and mumbling, so he takes it out of his pocket and the frog says "aren't you going to kiss me?" He says "nope, I thought about it, I'd rather have a talking frog ".



posted on Dec, 31 2019 @ 02:09 AM
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The bartender says: I'm sorry, we don't serve to time travelers here.

A time traveler walks into a bar.



posted on Dec, 31 2019 @ 05:05 AM
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A set of quotation marks walks into a "bar".

A synonym saunters into a tavern.

Hyperbole walks into this really crazy bar and orders like, 20 drinks! It was totally insane!



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