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2019 Year of the Man Flu

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posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:15 PM
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a reply to: Lumenari

Men are fierce warrior poets with sensitive sinus cavities and a small tendency to get a wee cough.


We are the protectors of the planet as long as we have enough Kleenex.




posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:19 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Lumenari

Men are fierce warrior poets with sensitive sinus cavities and a small tendency to get a wee cough.


We are the protectors of the planet as long as we have enough Kleenex.



And enough sammiches. Don't forget the sammiches, you guys can't defend squat on an empty stomach, that just leads to a bunch of hangry men clocking their brethren and kicking puppies instead of their enemies,



posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:19 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Lumenari

Men are fierce warrior poets with sensitive sinus cavities and a small tendency to get a wee cough.


We are the protectors of the planet as long as we have enough Kleenex.



"Man-flu" sounds so generic...

"Masculinitis" sounds like a disorder you might see in a prescription medication commercial....

Progetstobreastofen!... Two tablets a day can prevent male pattern blandness, AKA "Masculinitis". Un-man up with Progetstobreastofen!


Progetstobreastofen! May cause moodiness, unexpected weeping, malaise, bladder malfunction, anal seeping, unwanted back hair, hair cancer, or unexpected death. Do not take if you are allergic to spider silk, asphalt or aluminum siding. Tell your doctor if you are un-gendered, as this medication may, or may not, change you current gender. Do not stop taking this medication, without consulting your doctor, herbalist, essential oil consultant, or coroner first.

Ask your doctor, if Progetstobreastofen! is right for you!


edit on 10-9-2019 by madmac5150 because: Legalities

edit on 10-9-2019 by madmac5150 because: BAM

edit on 10-9-2019 by madmac5150 because: Gattafinga!

edit on 10-9-2019 by madmac5150 because: I cant be stopped!!!



posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:24 PM
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Alas but I must retire to my humble bed chambers for a gentle foot rub and an ample amount of Vicks slathered on my ample chest.

If I make it through the night I will return I the morn' to further chronicle my battle with this debilitating disease.



posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:25 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
Alas but I must retire to my humble bed chambers for a gentle foot rub and an ample amount of Vicks slathered on my ample chest.

If I make it through the night I will return I the morn' to further chronicle my battle with this debilitating disease.


If you don't return...take solace in the fact you will not be missed....





posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:26 PM
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edit on 10-9-2019 by Onlyyouknow because: Quote didn't pull as I expected



posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:27 PM
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originally posted by: madmac5150

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Lumenari

Men are fierce warrior poets with sensitive sinus cavities and a small tendency to get a wee cough.


We are the protectors of the planet as long as we have enough Kleenex.



"Man-flu" sounds so generic...

"Masculinitis" sounds like a disorder you might see in a prescription medication commercial....



"consult your doctor before demanding to be prescribed this prescription drug based on information given to you in a paid advertisement..."



posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 10:28 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy

originally posted by: Onlyyouknow

originally posted by: DBCowboy
The Herculean efforts it takes to even chronicle the progression of this insidious illness should (at the very least) guarantee me a place among the Titans of History.

I'm not asking for Mt Rushmore, but a nice statue, a plaza, and maybe a school named after me would be nice.


a celebration yearly would be so much better.


I would settle for a small shrine placed in various locales where people could make offerings and pray for the men inflicted with this disease.




Who will collect the offerings and remove the dust off the shrine?


Totally just joking with you, not being mean.



posted on Sep, 10 2019 @ 11:41 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy
I had same symptoms last few days after visiting the casino. Probably no coincidence that i took the last two days off, went into work today and two others were out. Someone suggested i have the flu and I blew that idea off until i see this thread -- its happening everywhere. Why so early though?



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 01:53 AM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

What of the thirst disease that afflicts men so much? Maybe it's always been that way and only manifested itself for view as a phenommenon since social media and meet locals apps but also facebook, snap, instagram, anywhere they can find and msg females really.

On something like Plenty of Fish or Meet Me (phone apps), a female profile can get staggering amounts of msgs from men all over the world but especially locally. It's as if the men message 10 or more women in a row in hopes of getting 1 reply. The female will log on, not do anything, and have 10 or more messages within minutes. If they're really attractive with extra pics it's probably more and they dont even look at them all. They get regular offers of alot of money to prostitute themselves and there's a few on there specifically to prostitute but that's a different story.
edit on 11-9-2019 by FlyingSquirrel because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 02:06 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
Alas but I must retire to my humble bed chambers for a gentle foot rub and an ample amount of Vicks slathered on my ample chest.

If I make it through the night I will return I the morn' to further chronicle my battle with this debilitating disease.


What I hear:

Alas but I must retire to my living room couch because I whine so much my wife kicked me out of the bedroom ( and locked the door) for a gentle foot lick from my dog since Im on his/her favorite spot on the couch and an ample amount of Vicks slathered on my ample manboobs.



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 02:07 AM
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originally posted by: FlyingSquirrel
a reply to: DBCowboy

What of the thirst disease that afflicts men so much? Maybe it's always been that way and only manifested itself for view as a phenommenon since social media and meet locals apps but also facebook, snap, instagram, anywhere they can find and msg females really.

On something like Plenty of Fish or Meet Me (phone apps), a female profile can get staggering amounts of msgs from men all over the world but especially locally. It's as if the men message 10 or more women in a row in hopes of getting 1 reply. The female will log on, not do anything, and have 10 or more messages within minutes. If they're really attractive with extra pics it's probably more and they dont even look at them all. They get regular offers of alot of money to prostitute themselves and there's a few on there specifically to prostitute but that's a different story.


Dont hold back, tell us how you REALLY feel...



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 03:27 AM
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You big girls blouse you...

« Limps back off to the intensive care unit holding the Glucose and NaCL drip stand in his frail and feeble hand ... »

I hate having a cold...

No flowers at the funeral please as I shall be cremated (CDC have been informed)...

« Sniff... Snurff... blows à years worth of snot into the duvet »... Kleenex is not big enough...

« Coughs »

Lags



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 06:13 AM
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Been up two hours, miserable, cranky, congested.

Need to whine, but quietly, wife is asleep in the other room.



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 06:40 AM
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I had it over the summer. Took a day off, had my mom cook and bring me chicken and dumplings, watched Netflix movies and died all day. My woman took on extra clients at work so she didn't have to come home, hear me whine, and wait on me all day.



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 09:03 AM
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You do realize, you just discovered the way we can fix the world, right?

Make every man in the world sick for a week, at the same time.


We win.


LOL
a reply to: Lumenari



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 11:21 AM
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We're just coming out of Winter now in Australia. I didn't get sick at all this winter, also haven't had anything injected into my body since being in highschool over a decade ago.



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 02:47 PM
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**sheepishly raises hand to acknowledge the acceptance of sniveling school girl status (and the loss of testicles) during man-flu episodes**

I absolutely hate being sick! And I totally suck at it too!



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 03:04 PM
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a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I have literally laughed off broken bones, but give me a cold?

Makes me a sad panda and need blankets and soup.



posted on Sep, 11 2019 @ 03:16 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, stop being a whiny snowflake.

Libertarian Jesus wouldn't approve.




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