originally posted by: Irishhaf
a reply to: InTheLight
I get that in our little microcosm in this moment, but what I said is the truth in the larger scheme of things.
A guy is not to be taken at his word, and a woman is to be believed no evidence matters.
The way its supposed to work is , you have an accusation followed by an investigation, followed by evidence is produced or a corroborating witness
then you get to punishment.
We have men right now whos careers have been destroyed whos names have been permanently tarnished on an accusation alone and that is not right.
If there is an investigation and evidence of wrongdoing is proven then I do not care who it is prosecute them. (yes that includes trump)
But we need to knock off the tabeloid style charecter assasination without even knowing if there is any evidence.
Grrrr if we are talking about rape girls probably don't even know what goes on on the other side of things, and i don't know if that's the subject
just cuz I am really uncomfortable reading anything here because I know I will have an opinion and that is just another testament to how women and men
have different standards because on subjects like rape, abortion, morning after, etc. I have this inherent guilty feeling that nags away at the back
of my mind in that I feel it is inappropriate for me to voice my opinion on such matters as a guy and I bet there are women out there who would be
offended even if I didn't share it but simply had the audacity to even formulate an opinion in my mind about a woman and her body.
But back to the if we are discussing rape thing...it is totally out of control the willingness girls exercise throwing around that word during the
time my friends and I were around 16 to 25 years old.
The worst scenario is my best friend since we were younger who was arrested for rape and I just knew him too well to even imagine him on his worst
behavior being capable of forcing anyone to do anything much less a girl to have sex with him.
Long story short I was his only support as he opted for a trial and was on the fast track to lose until a stroke of genius on his part led to his
pointing it a forensic impossibility right out of an episode of law and order svu that I can't get into here on ats since its vulgar no matter how you
phrase it but she immediately burst into tears and started apologizing to her boyfriend across the court who was immediately angered realizing and
having her admit to this judge that she seduced him then was instantly terrified her boyfriend would find out or sense it so she went home and acted
as if she was just violently raped by him.
She showed regret to her boyfriend and all but not once did she, her lawyer, the seemingly biased judge, the arresting officers, or anyone else ever
show that they appreciated or understood how until that moment he had zero chance of winning that case, it wasn't even possible, you could feel it in
the air, that he was telling the truth and every assertion he made to his innocence was seen as just one more insult added to his already heinous
For quite some time after, he would always sell the two of us as a packaged deal (and hell we were both adorable back then and both worked tirelessly
on our physiques so it wasn't a bad deal or anything loll)...which was both effed up in the head but also understandable that he would want his friend
there too for "encounters" and geez was he lucky it always ended up with all three voicing the fact it had been really entertaining and fun but
normally that would be one ugly proposal or crutch to need and quite twisted but also understandable since he was one brilliant thought away from
losing his life as he knew it, coming out of prison in his thirties a sex felon, limited to crap work and unable to date without any former
friends...so I don't know if there really was a right or wrong way to come out of that and face things again. We grew much closer I guess and had fun
and luckily after less than a year he met his wife but what a position to put me in or for him to be in all for her to keep some guy she was seeing a
few months and didn't end up with in the longrun...would she have recanted when they broke up three months later as he faced ten more years in prison?
I doubt it..
Actually I won't even worry about the other stories but I will just say I am as introvert and antisocial as they come and even I had 4 or 5 friends
during that decade whose risked being destroyed or WERE when I can assure you it was girls who got caught cheating and their way out was to cry rape
and one of those times it was a girl who confided in all her girlfriends who had her back and then eventually confided in me too, leading me to end up
a monster to the girls too, all because I told her she WAS NOT RAPED and saying she had better rethink pushing the issue if what she was saying was
that my buddy who took her out kept buying her drinks, long islands at her request, and who took her to his house where she had some beers then slept
with him. In her mind she saw him as guilty because he knew she had been drinking and kept giving her more and even though she was a willing
participant, he raped her knowing that her ability to make sober decisions and her safeguarding inhibitions were impaired. To women this is rape, to
men it is not. I can see it, maybe not as rape, but a guy really being inappropriate and scummy if he takes a girl out and puts drink after drink in
front of her while staying sober himself then judging her loosened up taking her home. But this was dinner, multiple clubs SHE wanted to go to, he
paid big bucks for, she met friends at and did shots with, and he was doing the same thing and they both went home ess-faced. But had it gone
anywhere, especially to trial, you could tell that he was guilty and needed to prove his innocence instead of vice versa but that was a big catch 22
cuz suggesting it was anything but rape is just a lying rapist downplaying his rape and committing further abuse and damage denying it...at least to
everyone on there outside looking in. It starts right from the arrest, you are a criminal and it works best for you to accept what she says and not
make yourself a target by having a conflicting story especially if in your story you are innocent and she not so much.