Parents, I apologize.

Tough to say how i feel about this lady, i come from a violent family, both granpas where drunks and beat the # out of there kids, me and my brother got beat untill we both got bigger than our parents.


I hope that some of the people posting in here dont ever have kids, ive never laid a hand on mine and there doin quite fine.

Parents need to be there for there kids, thats how they become good people.

originally posted by: dukeofjive696969
Tough to say how i feel about this lady, i come from a violent family, both granpas where drunks and beat the # out of there kids, me and my brother got beat untill we both got bigger than our parents.


I hope that some of the people posting in here dont ever have kids, ive never laid a hand on mine and there doin quite fine.

Parents need to be there for there kids, thats how they become good people.

You make good points, sir.
I was able to use this when verbally disciplining my son last week:
Why did you hit your sister?
Do I hit you?

If I were in the habit of beating my kids, I could hardly say that to him.

originally posted by: butcherguy

originally posted by: dukeofjive696969
Tough to say how i feel about this lady, i come from a violent family, both granpas where drunks and beat the # out of there kids, me and my brother got beat untill we both got bigger than our parents.


I hope that some of the people posting in here dont ever have kids, ive never laid a hand on mine and there doin quite fine.

Parents need to be there for there kids, thats how they become good people.

You make good points, sir.
I was able to use this when verbally disciplining my son last week:
Why did you hit your sister?
Do I hit you?

If I were in the habit of beating my kids, I could hardly say that to him.

I cant even say that what she did is wrong, its just too close to home for me, i just couldn't make my kids go through what i lived.

originally posted by: dukeofjive696969

originally posted by: butcherguy

originally posted by: dukeofjive696969
Tough to say how i feel about this lady, i come from a violent family, both granpas where drunks and beat the # out of there kids, me and my brother got beat untill we both got bigger than our parents.


I hope that some of the people posting in here dont ever have kids, ive never laid a hand on mine and there doin quite fine.

Parents need to be there for there kids, thats how they become good people.

You make good points, sir.
I was able to use this when verbally disciplining my son last week:
Why did you hit your sister?
Do I hit you?

If I were in the habit of beating my kids, I could hardly say that to him.

I cant even say that what she did is wrong, its just too close to home for me, i just couldn't make my kids go through what i lived.

I understand. I had my share of beatings as a child.
But I am not about to tell another parent that they can't use corporal punishment if it is non-injurious.

Corporal punishment is all well and good. My state allows it, so long as it doesn't leave visible marks like significant bruising or cuts.

Whipping your kids with an electrical cord hard enough to leave welts and break the skin is a different level. Which is what she did.

Don't really feel bad for her, as that seems a bit extreme in my mind.

a reply to: Spider879

If the neighbor had called the cops, the chances of them being shot on sight , beaten bloody or teased would be high, recent history with black males and law enforcement bares this out.

I can relate to this. I work with victims of abuse. They come in all ages, sizes, colors and cultures. While we hear more about the abuse that happens among the poor, the poor have no monopoly on abuse. I would never condone abuse of any kind, but, I believe there is a difference between discipline and abuse. I am not an advocate of corporal punishment, but I can see why some parents use it, and feel it is effective.

I personally, was involved in a situation were a group of young hoodlums broke into my home, broke windows, painted graffiti on the walls, then poured several cans of paint, and used car oil into my pool. Why? They thought it would be fun. The house was empty at the time, so they didn't think they were hurting anyone. Their ages? 8 to 12. The group was mixed. White, Black, and Hispanic. The police claimed there was nothing they could do without a confession.

I offered a five hundred dollar reward, without punishment, for the person that spoke up, and if a conviction was made. It didn't take long, because most people in the area knew of the little brat pack, and suspected them of the deed. I tried talking to the parents; that was a waste of time, and could have also proven very dangerous, as one mother was extremely hostile, and refused to believe her angel was involved, even when he admitted that he did it, and his sister confirmed that he was the ring leader.

I didn't press charges on those children because I saw a high probability of them becoming victims of abuse, and possible injury, by the parents or by the police. It was an extremely costly decision, from which I still have not recovered financially, but I could not live with myself, if a child's life was destroyed because of my demand for restitution over material things.

Poor children are not the only children that steal or vandalize. Poor children are just the children that will suffer the most for their poor choices and stupid actions. Hard working parents that battle to protect and provide for their children, are the most likely to be judged, criticized, and penalized, when their children misbehave or do something criminal.

I know how difficult it is to be a parent today, when the whole world is your judge and jury, and no choice you make is going to be the right one, in the eyes of many. As a parent you can only do what you feel is right in your heart, and what you feel is right for your child.

I honestly believe that as long as the parent is not deliberately abusive, is not neglecting, or exploiting the child, is providing the child a loving, nurturing home, then they should not have their children removed from the home. I too believe that parents today may need instruction and support with parenting skills, as there is no standard in child rearing.

Before people lived in extended families, where grandparents, aunts, and uncles were involved in caring for the children, along with the neighbors, teachers, and the rest of the community. That is not true today. Families are spread miles apart. Neighbors, teachers, and the rest of the community, are afraid to even look at your children, for fear of accusations and lawsuits.

Now it looks like the only ones that have the authority to engage your children without reproach, is law enforcement, and they are exempt from reprisal, if they injure, scar, maim or even kill your children. So I also apologize for this brave new world that we are ushering in.

a reply to: Shamrock6

Whipping your kids with an electrical cord hard enough to leave welts and break the skin is a different level. Which is what she did.

She said a belt. Was that proven a lie?

a reply to: DupontDeux

So let us wait and see what the outcome will be before we cry foul and unnecessary government interference.

I understand what you are saying, but too often it is not in the child's best interest when the government intervenes.

The children committed a crime. Law enforcement and the government will exact punishment on the children. Unfortunately, the punishment enacted by law enforcement and the government, leaves scars that run deeper than the ones that can be seen, and can lead to a lifetime of pain, and or death.

If the mother was determined to be an abusive, or neglectful parent, by all means the children may be better off removed from the home. If not, then removing them from the home is likely to do more harm than good.

In my opinion.

a reply to: dukeofjive696969

Parents need to be there for there kids, thats how they become good people.

This is one of the biggest challenges for parents today. The cost of living today is steep. The cost of living comfortably, is becoming very difficult. The cost of living well, is becoming nearly impossible; unless you are working multiple jobs, and well over 8 hours a day.

That doesn't leave a lot of time for parents to even see their children let alone interact with them. Many parents have to compromise the material needs of their children, with their psycho-social needs. Rarely is there a perfect balance.

a reply to: WeRpeons

I was violently ill, the response was "you will think twice abut doing that again" and you know what they were right....

The school headmaster was also the boarding master so it was a double whammy and these pricks were also very religious and were quite fine with corporal punishment, they used to cane our knuckles and or we would bent over and bare bum smacked with the headmasters favorite shoe....I will say one thing though we all feared authority in that school....

originally posted by: roadgravel
a reply to: Shamrock6

Whipping your kids with an electrical cord hard enough to leave welts and break the skin is a different level. Which is what she did.

She said a belt. Was that proven a lie?

Dunno, and doesn't matter. Using an implement and leaving visible marks is what it is, doesn't really matter what you used. Belt, cord, shovel, alligator, doesn't matter much to me.

a reply to: DAVID64

I do take responsibility, as to what happened. This doesn't change the fact that a different approach to parenting might have been better. Ignoring this possibility is irrational.

a reply to: Annee

Sounds like a good technique.. I'm conflicted, a part of me thinks it might be a good idea but the unruly kid within me is screaming obscenities wanting to tip it over.. maybe I need to grow up.

How tall must that stool be to keep a teenager from just jumping right off it?

a reply to: Shamrock6

Dunno, and doesn't matter. Using an implement and leaving visible marks is what it is, doesn't really matter what you used. Belt, cord, shovel, alligator, doesn't matter much to me.

I am one of those people that will bruise, if you look at me too hard. If I lean against, or rub against something with an edge, I will develop a brief welt. That isn't the reason why my parents forwent the corporal punishment route. When I begged my Dad to spank me, he always said, "A spanking is over too quickly, you don't have time to think about what it was that you did wrong."

If I was a child today, and if my parents had lightly spanked me, they would be placed under the jail, if the only thing anyone went on was the colorations or marks on my body.

I am not excusing any form of child abuse. I think that any allocation or risk of child abuse should be thoroughly investigated, but not always is a mark or discoloration on a child evidence of abuse.

There are several medical conditions and circumstances that can cause what looks like intentional injuries, but I think I understand what you are saying, and I agree if the injuries are inflicted intentionally. Though, the scars that are inflicted that cannot be seen disturbs me the most.

originally posted by: TheLaughingGod
a reply to: Annee
How tall must that stool be to keep a teenager from just jumping right off it?

Its funny, because we started so young the kids don't think they have a choice. Shhh, don't tell them.

I think by the time the children became teens, they were accepting of the stool as a form of punishment. This proves what my Dad always said about punishment. It has to be something that you understand, not something you fear.

When a child is afraid or angry, no learning takes place. My parents knew taking something from us that we cherished, was far more effective. Especially our precious time. The punishments of choice was chores that took a long time, because they made us physically fatigued, burned off excess energy, and gave us plenty of time to think of a better solution, the next time.

The TTTS (Tall/Thinking/Talking Stool is indeed a great idea.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

This is going into my notes if I ever have children.. thank you.

originally posted by: TheLaughingGod
a reply to: Annee

Sounds like a good technique.. I'm conflicted, a part of me thinks it might be a good idea but the unruly kid within me is screaming obscenities wanting to tip it over.. maybe I need to grow up.

How tall must that stool be to keep a teenager from just jumping right off it?

Threaten to shut their phone off

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn

originally posted by: TheLaughingGod
a reply to: Annee
How tall must that stool be to keep a teenager from just jumping right off it?

Its funny, because we started so young the kids don't think they have a choice. Shhh, don't tell them.

I think by the time the children became teens, they were accepting of the stool as a form of punishment. This proves what my Dad always said about punishment. It has to be something that you understand, not something you fear.

Yes, that's really it. Because they were raised with it, they knew it was expected.

And as much as they wanted to hold everything inside, they knew deep down that was harmful to them. Getting kids to talk early about how they feel is crucial.

a reply to: Annee

Threaten to shut their phone off

I never made threats. There were rules. Once it was clear that the child knew the rules, and the consequences associated with breaking them, they were written in stone.

All the children, even the neighborhood children, knew that there was no wiggle room, when it came to the rules. One major rule was respect. All the neighborhood children called me Auntie.

One of the neighbors called me one day in tears. She said she overheard the kids talking about doing something, and it must not have been exactly the right thing to do, because her son said, "Are you crazy?" "You know that Auntie don't play, she makes you walk the chalk line." She said the rest fell down on the ground and saying, "No! No! Auntie can't know! If she finds out, we are toast." She said she had to hide so they wouldn't notice she was listening, because she was laughing so hard.

We know that a child requires discipline and structure in their lives. This can't be accomplished without consistency. Consistency builds trust. A child has to know that they can trust you.

Your Tall/Thinking/Talking Stool allows for consistency, respect, and trust. Three major components in effective discipline.

In my opinion.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
a reply to: Annee

Threaten to shut their phone off

I never made threats.

That's kinda a joke.

Not sure how many teenagers you've raised.

But, teenagers and their phones . . . .