Quit offering idiotic and potentially criminal self defense advice

Not too long ago I saw a member say that someone in a an active shooter situation should grab a pencil and stab it into the shooter's eye or ear canal. Idiot.

In another thread, I saw members offering alternatives to mace, where mace/pepper spray is illegal. I saw suggestions ranging from the absurd (again with the self defense pencil) to the VERY illegal (even in the US where I carry a gun).

If mace/pepper spray is illegal, filling a bottle with caustic fluid to use in self defense is going to be WAY worse for anyone taking your idiot advice. Carrying a can of bear mace is included (no, it's not gentler), along with wasp spray etc...

You're not helping, you're giving worse and more dangerous alternatives that will get a person in more trouble/killed quicker. At least the wasp spray morons are offering something effective. The freaking ninjas that think everyone is capable of stabbing a pen or sharpened pencil in the right place are beyond delusional. NONE of you are capable of that. If you think it's a viable strategy against a person with a gun, you need to STFU and go get a refund from your McDojo. Sure, there are people that can kill you with a pencil, but you're not one of them, because if you were, you wouldn't be telling people it's a thing.

I saw someone that should know better saying the best home defense is to just kill someone and sort it out later. I'm AMAZED that's still standing. ATS apparently hasn't gotten sued yet.

Don't give crap advice to idiots. Some jackass is going to spray someone with wasp spray and blind them, get their pants sued off and wind up in jail. Some moron is going to try to stab someone in the ear (really?) and get the crap beat out of them or shot. Try to stab me in the ear with a pencil. I'm jamming it up your ass. You need to be real strong, real skilled, real fast to pull that move off on ANYONE. The flinch response is going to make that a very crappy move with a normal person. Someone thats been in a few fights is going to laugh while they jam it up your ass. Same with your kerambit.

it's retarded that people can't carry mace. It's more retarded to offer them far less effective self defense advice, or far more illegal self defense advice. You spray someone with wasp spray/bear spray, you're going to be in deep trouble. You'll be in jail, and you're getting successfully sued. Wasp spray = all the other retard concoctions that get drummed up.

If you don't know dick about the laws surrounding self defense and don't know dick about self defense, STFU. Pencil pushers, you're the worst. Maybe women should carry umbrellas, oh wait... They don't work well... If you don't get the reference, STFU.

Knife kids. You're not a martial arts master if you have a fancy knife collection that you bought from the mini mart down the street. Have fun watching YouTube videos on self defense with a kerambit... The long hair, obesity and faux intellectualism aren't going to help you at all, so stop telling people if they buy a certain knife they'll be safe. It may protect you from your parents when they try to dump you out of the WoW chair and get a haircut, but it's not doing sh$# for the average person. You're not the average person though, you watch Anime and know the moves. You know Aikido.

Scream, yell, kick, bite. If there's a gun, that sucks. If there's a knife, it's worse than a gun. Run away, if you can, it's the best defense. If you cant run away, sharpen a pencil.

Language:



Be aware, stay away from bad places, listen to that little voice in your head. If you feel like something is wrong, you're probably right. Read 'The Gift of Fear'.

A pencil in the eye or ear is luck for someone that's a VERY skilled fighter. It's not going to happen for any of us, I don't care if the moron that thinks he's an MMA fighter shows up. It's also no guarantee.

If it comes down to it, use anything you can. Seriously though, pencil pushers, STFU.

There is always some internet tough guy that thinks they are Pei Mai and can punch holes through timber.

a reply to: Domo1

So what should I do with my piles and piles of pencils (don't judge, if every creek in my floor is a bad guy that's a lot of pencils)?


A well needed rant. You're hilarious when you're mad.

Since this is the rant section

Run away, if you can, it's the best defense.

"Not goin out like that , no way"

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Freaking pencils through whatever the f### ear holes have at the end. Blargh.

"McDojo"

Oh My God....I had to wait a full minute to stop laughing before I could type. Every time I thought I was done, I would imagine Ronald in a gi, throwing Big Macs like they were shurikens.

a reply to: Domo1


Good rant.

You can't deny that in a true life or death situation people should try anything to stay alive though? Potentially anything handy can either become lethal or used for self defense.

I read one time where an elderly lady living alone one night jabbed a chicken leg bone from her meal she just finished in the eye of an intruder who smashed her window and was crawling through when she grabbed the bone from her just consumed meal and jabbed his eye. He fell back out of the window and took off running.

LOL. Some old gals are pretty feisty when you interrupt "Murder she wrote" I suppose.

a reply to: Domo1

Would you rather be judged by 12 or carried by 6?

The advice was given to those in a situation with a mass shooter where you are unarmed.

What do you recommend?

Begging them to death while they execute you and everyone else?

originally posted by: Domo1

Freaking pencils through whatever the f### ear holes have at the end. Blargh.

I am just going to used my well honed technique and snatch one or more of their eyes out of their sockets.

a reply to: Kali74

A well needed rant. You're hilarious when you're mad.

Mom! I'm serious! Where's the stud finder, I want to punch a hole in the wall!

^Beep

Where I am , women carry hog legs . At least the wiser , tougher ones do.They all are packing .

a reply to: Domo1

Avoiding trouble in the first place (if at all possible) is good advise.
When I started Lau Gar I was pleasantly surprised to realise that I wasn't made of glass.
But you soon find out that you aren't made of steel either.
A fair fight is one thing but you have to know your limitations. Truth is, when it all kicks off, you can't predict the outcome.
If you can get out, get out. We dont want to see bad stuff happen.
Be safe.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

There is always some internet tough gun that thinks they are Pei Mai and can punch holes through timber.

With no other options, I would try the pencil in the neck method before I waited for my shot to the back of the head.

But take, pei mei was a beast!

a reply to: DAVID64

I certainly didn't coin that, but I think you may have the monopoly on hysterical imagery.

I'm sure this thread will certainly change all of the people's minds who offered such advice.

In all seriousness and in defense of pencils....

When my daughter started walking to school by herself, I taught her to carry a sharpened pencil in her hand and if anyone tried to pull her in a car or otherwise assault her to scream her head off, stab whatever part she could reach and then Run Like Hell. Getting stabbed with something is going to make them let go [ the flinch factor you talked about ] and that's the time to get away.

a reply to: SLAYER69

You can't deny that in a true life or death situation people should try anything to stay alive though? Potentially anything handy can either become lethal or used for self defense.

100% agreed. I can't remember where I read it, but there's a quote floating around that's something like "No guy wants to admit he just got f-ed up by a hairbrush". I think it was some SEAL book, Marcinko? Something?

Do or die, grab something heavy or pointy. Mike Tyson doesn't have anything on me, I would have taken the cheek too.

LOL how about when in public don't do anything to attract attention to ones self? Seek cover and concealment, one mind any weapon.

a reply to: DAVID64

Well yeah.

My issue is with certain people that think they can get all high speed low drag with a pencil and storm an office building because they saw some B roll MOUT exercise on YouTube.

Man it bugs me you had to have a talk like that with your daughter. I'm a certain vintage that starts with a 3 and ends with a 0. I used to bike 5 miles to school when I was 9, and it wasn't a thing. The big worry was if I wore my helmet (I didn't).

originally posted by: Domo1

The big worry was if I wore my helmet (I didn't).

This was not obvious at all.