The Downsides of Being Beautiful

a reply to: rukia

Looking a certain way (beauty is subjective, there is no universal standard) is not always a good thing. People tend to either absolutely adore you or they hate your face. Is it envy? I think sometimes it is. When someone covets something that someone else has, they tend to believe that every aspect of that person's life is to be equally as coveted too. And they resent it. That is known as "judging a book by its cover", and it is unfair...but it is human nature, and something I've learned to accept.

I have the facial measurements that you speak of. So do most "super" models, like Claudia Schiffer and Iman. Many studies have shown that babies are drawn more to faces that either match or closely match the "ideal" human facial bone structure. It is one of the reasons that many babies recoil from people with a full beard or sunglasses on; they cannot perceive the face and it frightens them. But they are typically more drawn to the most physically attractive faces in a crowd, if given more than one choice.

I find it fascinating that intelligence has been linked to skeletal symmetry, because most people make the assumption that because I look a certain way I must be naive and stupid, when the exact opposite is actually true. I've learned to use it to my advantage though, so it doesn't bother me much anymore. But it used to really hurt my feelings to be treated that way for no reason other than assumption. Now I just chuckle to myself and play along.

And of course, I echo the sentiment of numerous others: beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, and physical traits do not define a person. Some of the most physically beautiful people I have ever known have been so ugly on the inside that the outside made no difference at all. And some of the least physically attractive people have been the most beautiful on the inside. You can reshape your face, suck the fat out of your ass, peel your skin off with chemicals, dye your hair...but all the expensive makeup and hair goop in the world is not going to do you any good if your soul is ugly.

a reply to: rukia

Your OP was quite provocative, to some, as I read through the comments...
I hope all of this will makes sense. The world is preoccupied with physical beauty. I am guilty of it at times myself.
I have two daughters.
One would certainly fit the criteria for what the "vogue/cosmopolitan" society would see as "beautiful" physically. She is beautiful on the inside as well.
My other daughter would fit the criteria for what the "not so vogue/cosmopolitan" society would see as "beautiful" physically. She is also beautiful on the inside.
They are both quite lovely, physically, just different.
I think of Snow White and Rose Red.
They are both beautiful in different ways. Their own ways.

One thing that I find charming is that they don't realize their physical beauty. They are at the age that they are capturing the attention of young (and some older) men when we are out. I have perfected the "stink eye" from across the room and use it often...LOL

They have experienced times of betrayal, hurt, and mean spiritedness from people at times but, I don't think it can be entirely attributed to looks. There are just mean people in the world.
You can be charitable, kind, honest, and sincere and no matter what you look like someone may be envious, jealous, and mean. I feel that is something lacking in THEM.
There are some people that I work with who are jealous/envious of women/men in higher ranking positions and several of them are not what the "mainstream" population would consider beautiful or physically attractive. Some people will never be happy/content with what they have...

I'll leave you with this...my Mom was an extraordinarily beautiful woman (IMO). As she aged, I am sure that physical beauty...dulled...somewhat. At the age of 93, she was still one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. People often thought that she was only 70! She had aged gracefully. The wrinkles had softened as she grew older, it was odd really.
Have you ever seen in the old movies this technique of making the women look very...soft? This is how she looked to me...
Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting. (From the Bible)

"We will no longer be oppressed by the fascism of Christianity! And we will no longer be oppressed by the fascism of beauty. As I see you all sittin' out there trying your hardest not to be ugly, trying your hardest not to fit in, trying your hardest to earn your way into Heaven, but let me ask you: Do you want to be in a place that's filled with a bunch of buttholes?"-Marilyn Manson

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in"
-Anthem, Leonard Cohen


LOL!

a reply to: Anaana

A man who can and does cook is the trophy husband of the 21st Century. If he can clean up after himself too, he's practically a god amongst men.

Well then I have no hope. In addition to not being exactly aesthetically pleasing to look at, I live like a pig and subsist off of Hot Pockets and diet Coke.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to keep my job...

-dex

I think Bo said it best.....

www.youtube.com...

a reply to: DexterRiley



Chef's seem to do very well with the ladies in the UK. Women I know are always complaining about their husbands lack of culinary skills. So the equation goes in my head. It does seem to be a thing.

Me, I'm not a foodie, I eat to live not the other way around...I could do with someone more willing than I to clean out my fridge on a regular basis. Life is evolving in there. And I get irritated by most people doing anything in my domestic space, I'm terribly territorial like that, so a self-cleaning man-shaped cooker, isn't everyone's idea of a trophy or cup of tea...there's hope for everyone yet...

...I hope

originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

A man who can and does cook is the trophy husband of the 21st Century. If he can clean up after himself too, he's practically a god amongst men.

I cook , do laundry, clean high places and even lift up the carpet, Iam messy tho I drop my clothes on the floor to be picked up later ..

Oh my musical interlude ..

originally posted by: Anaana
...so a self-cleaning man-shaped cooker, isn't everyone's idea of a trophy...

Wow. I just went from trophy husband to a superficially appreciated domestic servant.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Being a trophy comes with the atrophy of other attributes.

a reply to: rukia

unfortunately what you say is true...

average/ugly looking people will tend to disagree as it conflicts with their views....

I think people feel insecure/inferior when they see beauty... it is a type of rebellion against yourself.

Many times i have been eyed up and down by married (non single) women, I misunderstand why a woman would look at another man if she is content with her own man? maybe the same reason men look at other women ;-)

All in all, being beautiful is usually makes things more complicated, but i dont regret it one bit!!

originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

A man who can and does cook is the trophy husband of the 21st Century. If he can clean up after himself too, he's practically a god amongst men.

All Hail me, then, I suppose!

Before I went into Comms, I trained as a Chef and can cook with ease. I also clean the kitchen when I'm done, I can do the washing (laundry), change a nappy, push the hoover around etc on top of all the "manly" things expected of me, such as changing a light switch or fixing something.

Yeah, I know...I'm brilliant on top of being supremely sexy and handsome..

originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: stumason

I would suppose it would depend on how "pretty" you are. I think Barbara Windsor and Liza Minnelli are considered suitably enlightened, in that respect.

Haha - I'm gorgeous, Baby!

originally posted by: Spider879
I cook , do laundry, clean high places and even lift up the carpet,

Me too, but no one's impressed when it's a woman doing it.

Now, when you say you do laundry, does that include ironing? My skinny white ass that burns at the mention of the sun, my intolerance to alcohol and hot places aside...I could possibly consider opening up territory to a fella who ironed...

a reply to: stumason

Barbara Windsor and Liza Minelli??? Haha haha even back in the day I thought they were both munters.
Probably lovely human beings but physically attractive not so much to me.

originally posted by: grainofsand
a reply to: stumason

Barbara Windsor and Liza Minelli??? Haha haha even back in the day I thought they were both munters.
Probably lovely human beings but physically attractive not so much to me.

Oh yeah, totally agree... I was just confirming that I am indeed incredibly pretty - when I die, I'm going to donate my body to science so they can distill my mojo for distribution...

originally posted by: stumason

originally posted by: Anaana
a reply to: stumason

I would suppose it would depend on how "pretty" you are. I think Barbara Windsor and Liza Minnelli are considered suitably enlightened, in that respect.

Haha - I'm gorgeous, Baby!

Isn't that up to the beholder? If so, wouldn't you have been placed on the wall in someones trophy room...are you, do you think, sufficiently working it, perhaps you need to shake your money-maker a little if you want to see a return?

originally posted by: Anaana

originally posted by: Spider879
I cook , do laundry, clean high places and even lift up the carpet,

Me too, but no one's impressed when it's a woman doing it.

Now, when you say you do laundry, does that include ironing? My skinny white ass that burns at the mention of the sun, my intolerance to alcohol and hot places aside...I could possibly consider opening up territory to a fella who ironed...

The ironing part not so much although I can if forced..

a reply to: Anaana

Haha, touche!

Maybe I do need to work it a bit more - I've become complaisant, clearly

originally posted by: Spider879
The ironing part not so much although I can if forced..

No if I have to force you to do it, I might as well've spent the time doing it myself...and doing it right.

Sorry, it's just not meant to be.

So anecdotal reports of royal family proves correlations which are aggregatestill wrong? Especially when we know royal marriages were politcal?

Why did that marry up comment hurt ppl? well documented easily replicated. Grab a male face and change the wage number next to it. Or those you tubers renting luxury cars and showing female opinion actually change.

I apologize for my facts, my uni social psychology prof had this stuff in the class materials

I would trade 40 IQ points and got to 100 IQ for a 40% increase in good looks anyday!