a reply to: jellyrev
Why did that marry up comment hurt ppl?
Well, I'm not sure what other people may think about the comment, but here is what I think:
A certain woman has the following characteristics:
She has the following choices:
1. Pursue a career independent of another person
2. "Marry up" to a partner already stationed at a higher level in society
She has the following goals:
1. Improve her station in life
2. Feel a sense of accomplishment in pursuit of goal #1
1. Intelligence is viewed favorably.
2. Independent achievement is held in high esteem.
3. Beauty is considered shallow.
4. Dependence demonstrates weakness.
Effort required to utilize characteristics:
1. Intelligence = high effort
2. Beauty = little effort
1. Choice #1 (Independence)
- Relies primarily on Characteristic #1 (Intelligence) which requires high effort.
- High effort tends to increase Goal #2 (accomplishment.)
- Success will achieve her full goal set.
- Utilizing Characteristic #1 (Intelligence) in pursuit of Choice #1 (Independence) is held in high esteem by society.
- Because of characteristic #2 (beauty) she faces problems employing characteristic #1 (intelligence)
- Not being able to successfully employ characteristic #1 (intelligence) will result in not achieving either of her goals.
2. Choice #2 (Marry-Up)
- Relies primarily on Characteristic #2 (beauty) which requires minimal effort.
- Minimal effort diminishes Goal #2 (accomplishment)
- Only achieves goal #1 (Station) at the expense of goal #2 (accomplishment)
- Reliance on another person to achieve goal #1 (station) implies dependence.
- Utilizing characteristic #2 (beauty) and dependence implied by Choice #2 (Marry-up) is considered shallow and weak by society.
- Even if the advanced station in life attained in Choice #2 (Marry-Up) provides opportunity for pursuit of Goal #2 (Accomplishment), Goal #2 will
always be overshadowed by the employment of attributes held in low esteem by society.
So, selecting choice #1 does not insure success. It is a more difficult path to follow. But achieving either or both of her goals is so much more
satisfying because she did it by herself.
On the other hand, selecting choice #2 does insure success to some degree. But it is an easy path, and the sense of achievement may never rise to the
level that she would experience by attaining her goals independently.