So I have a Six Year Old daughter who thinks she's my Son...

a reply to: Emerald53

If I had a son who went to the toilet everyday, and still thought he was a girl. I would consider him having a mental ailment, or sickness. I would know that somethings wrong. Because in literal reality and fact, something is wrong; With his thinking, his perception, his mindset; His mind.

If this little girl who was born a boy and now a girl doesn't impress you, no one will. She is beautiful and wise, extremely well adjusted. There is nothing wrong with this kids mind. Go ahead and take a look. Meet this amazing teenager and understand.

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the link to embed this video wouldn't work. Look it up on youtube. Look for Jazz. That's her name.

It really doesn't matter what direction her life takes. All that matters is she has a loving father that will try protect her to the best of his ability, no matter what. That is really all she could ask of you.

a reply to: Vaedur

You're going to be OK

She's going to be OK

You've thought this through and whether you realize it or not - you've already come to a conclusion

You're a good dad - the best kind

a reply to: Vaedur

It sounds like you need to talk to professionals who have some special knowledge about this sort of thing. They'll help you to understand how to deal with it. As for the people who think she wants to be a boy or is a tom boy, they're not paying attention. You said she believes she IS a boy. That's very different. Maybe she instinctively understands something that it contrary to her outward appearance and she is, in important respects, actually a boy. It's sounds like you're a loving father and, as several people have pointed out, nothing is more important. Good luck.

a reply to: Vaedur

I have a bachelors in psychology...which means nothing...my wife just got her masters in Marriage and Family Therapy and is working on her internship hours to get licensed, which means a little something I suppose. Our main thoughts are this, is there any chance at all that your daughter was molested? I should say especially at a very young age, say before a child can even speak. I know it is a horrible thing to imagine or even ask, but sometimes when a child is molested or "hurt" in their lady parts when they are at such a young age and cannot speak or vocalize their pain, it's like their mind tries to deal with what happened by thinking "well, I don't have lady parts, I'm not a a girl because girls have lady parts that get hurt, I'm a boy and boys don't get hurt." Get where I'm going with that? Just something to look into, hopefully there is nothing there!

a reply to: Vaedur You answered your own posting. "But .. I'll be dad, and I'll be here for her.. or him...". Support her, love her. Be her DAD, you are the first male she has any relationship with. Make it a good one.

a reply to: Vaedur

I think its a great thing you are thinking and speaking about it. Many try to keep a situation like your in secret.

I really do wish we could accept all children for who they are and not define exactly what they should be. Nature doesn't work like that, it doesn't produce only types of people - male and female it produces people with a choice other than the body they have.

Its not your daughter who is wrong in my book its society and especially the regilious know-it-all with the hotline to god. If your daughter feels she is a boy then all you can do is to help her find out whether she is actually a boy in the wrong body. If you love your child then surely their happiness is more important than society's ideas on whom that child should be?

I know you are approaching this from the knowledge of how other people react or may treat your daughter throughout her life, but people are changing and its the uneducated or ignorant who may cast judgement her way - but do you care about that type of person unless they are in a position of making choices for your daughter you and she may not agree with? If you look around the world we seem to have a huge number of people in mismatched bodies today, so she, if she does want to become a full male and it is possible for her, may have better opportunities of being happy throughout her life if she is allowed to make the choice when she is old enough - which is your prerogative and judgement as the obviously good and kind parent you are.

Wish you luck there are many don'trjudge and are grateful they don't face this type of problem and our hearts should go out to those and their families who do.

My daughter was the same way, then at around 12 she started dating a lot of boys, then all the sudden stopped at 13, said she was a lesbian, then about 6 months after, said she was transgender. Let me tell you it is hard. My "son" is now in "his" late teens, and has changed first name to a boys, and is taking hormone pills and is all in on becoming a man.

I'll always be there for my child, but we haven't spoke now in 3 years, that was his decision. I was not a great father, but was always there if he/she ever needed me. But it's really hard, if I slip and accidentally refer to him as a her in conversation..., forget it. I feel this is very selfish but he is still so young still so I understand. But I want him to understand that it really feels like I've lost my little girl. Like she died. It's really tough.

I don't know if there's anything you can do to prevent this happening, it does not seem to be a choice, I mean who in their right mind would want to be that way? Can't just be for attention, can it? Can it be a mental illness.., I don't think so, but I am not a doctor of any kind. I would not recommend shrinks as some put a lot of thoughts into a childs head (I believe anyways).

I hope things work out better for you, than they are me right now.

Gender roles are still misunderstood, world societies still pigeon holes people.
I believe Egyptians has nurturing female type roles for some Males, this phenomenon may be uncovered as a new gender role, denied by states and small minded people.
Recently scientists discovered different genes in gays, this proves that being gay and possibly being in the wrong body can be attributed to our genetic make up, and is not a psychological disorder.

Love your child for the person she/he is.

a reply to: AnonymousMoose

Hey, I wanted to reply something snarky because reading it so bluntly hurts. But I deleted it and instead will say two things. No I don't think so, and Are you sure you want to correlate(sp?) the possibility of a kid being transgender to being molested? The statistics I read point to gay most likely. I don't think their is any statistically correlation to the two.

originally posted by: Nola213
My daughter was the same way, then at around 12 she started dating a lot of boys, then all the sudden stopped at 13, said she was a lesbian, then about 6 months after, said she was transgender. Let me tell you it is hard. My "son" is now in "his" late teens, and has changed first name to a boys, and is taking hormone pills and is all in on becoming a man.

I'll always be there for my child, but we haven't spoke now in 3 years, that was his decision. I was not a great father, but was always there if he/she ever needed me. But it's really hard, if I slip and accidentally refer to him as a her in conversation..., forget it. I feel this is very selfish but he is still so young still so I understand. But I want him to understand that it really feels like I've lost my little girl. Like she died. It's really tough.

I don't know if there's anything you can do to prevent this happening, it does not seem to be a choice, I mean who in their right mind would want to be that way? Can't just be for attention, can it? Can it be a mental illness.., I don't think so, but I am not a doctor of any kind. I would not recommend shrinks as some put a lot of thoughts into a childs head (I believe anyways).

I hope things work out better for you, than they are me right now.

F..ing thank you. You seem to get what I'm going through now and you also seemed to live what I honestly fear. Before the "I'm a boy" I think it was always I'm in love with the Little Mermaid or some Disney Princess was her girlfriend.

A good doctor can help the child and family understand what's going on and to make whatever choice is best for the child.

originally posted by: Vaedur
I posted this in the discussion due to the recent court ruling of bathrooms, but wanted to get it somewhere else, and added more here.. sorry if it's confusing to read, it's even more confusing to live:



All I can do is be dad, here for her. I will not be perfect, I may say things she doesn't like. Some of them will be right, most of them will be wrong. But .. I'll be dad, and I'll be here for her.. or him...

Be the best dad you can be. Listen to her, accept her and love her. Don't worry about the boy/girl thing.

It seems to me that she's got a good start, as she's confident enough to say these things in private and in public. If this isn't a phase, she'll be glad to know you're always in her corner.

a reply to: Vaedur

I would suggest that you do not pay too much attention to this, she is a kid and is growing up. Who was the primary caregiver? Perhaps she sees you as more of a roll model than her mother, I do not know. But as it was said before, no matter what she says or behaves, support her and love her as long as she is not hurting anyone by destroying property etc. This phase will pass and she will sooner or later discover what she wants to be. For now it is fun that she is a boy. In some parts of the world boys can do things girls can not or should not do. Perhaps she herd something in preschool or at home I do not know, perhaps she is just playing.Do not worry what other people think.I have one girl almost your age and no matter what I support her and her dreams. There is no weaker sex, teach her everything you know, support her, appreciate her and love her the way she is. Love conquers everything and uplifts the heart and soul.

To me, this is a pure mental issue. If you daughter was skinny and thought she was fat, you would get her help for anorexia. If she claimed she could see something that wasn't there, you would get her help. If she thought she was a dog, you would get her help. Anything in our society where people think the opposite is some kind of issue, except for gender. So either all the other things are wrong or people are putting politics over mental health issues. So the won't br 'homophobic'

If it was my kid, I would get her help

a reply to: DYepes

Wow so close minded as to truly realize gays and trans genders have been around well before the television and all these things that you claim happened in the last 5 to 6 decades. Men use to be the only actors. So they played the role of women. The gays have been around for hundreds of years and only recently in those decades we are becoming or suppose to be much more accepting of this. And I for one am not gay and support it because life is about happiness. True happiness and this comes from love and understanding. So the fact that you don't understand that I feel sorry for you and the people you say "you love" even though some of them fear your true thoughts and do not open up to you
Peace

a reply to: Vaedur

You my sir, KUDOS for being so open and loving towards your family and especially your lil girl. I'm sure everything will work out the way its intended to. Just remember to continue to love and support your loved ones.
peace

a reply to: Vaedur

I'm not trying to be flippant, but she's only two,
when my brother was two, he used to talk about
who he was in a past incarnation.

Maybe she was a boy in a past carnation and she'll
grow out of it like my little brother did when he was
two.

Not making a joke of this, a possible explanation,
I just wouldn't jump to any conclusions yet, she's only 2.

Rebel 5

In my opinion the only obstacle to this is one's own prejudice. Society is overly focused on gender roles and the victims are the people that break these 'rules'. The worst thing you can do as a parent is project these societal rules on your children as to give them the feeling they are doing something wrong. In fact society can be wrong in the sense it forces people in roles they are not comfortable with. If you want an unhappy child then by all means side with your own fears and prejudices in forcing your child to play a role in society he or she doesn't want, just because it is considered the proper standard. Chill out, make sure it doesn't stem from a negative experience and have a positive attitude toward the situation instead of a fearful one. Your child will feel if you fear what is happening and it won't be for the better. Just remember she is young things can change.

a reply to: Vaedur

Mad props to you for unconditionally loving your child. That has to be a tough situation and I believe you are doing the right thing by letting your child think for her/his self, even if it's not something we are used to. It seems the media shows and movies are having an extreme effect on the sexuality of the entire human populace.

I have a former lesbian sister that dated interracially for several years until finally something switched in her head and she married a male. I never judged her for it, however, and accepted her for who she claimed to be, so I feel like I can relate a teeny tiny bit.

Cheers and best of luck.