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This may be just a phase for her and maybe someday, she'll start dressing like a girl. But if she's done this her whole entire life, then maybe this is who she is. Have you ever taken her to a child psychologist or a child psychiatrist? They may be able to give you some insight as to how to handle this situation. You said that you were afraid of her being teased at school, yet you don't approve of how she dresses either. How do you think this makes her feel? She lives her life knowing that her mother doesn't like the way she chooses to dress and this could do a lot of mental and emotional damage to her for the rest of her life because she knows that you're not happy with her decisions. You sound like you only accept her decisions to a certain point but as her mom, you need to be completely accepting of it and don't worry what others think.
41% of transgender people attempt suicide, and most of these do it before the age of 18. Suicide happens for a lot of reasons, but I think that feeling isolated has a lot to do with it. Children who feel accepted and loved by their families are less likely to try to hurt themselves.
originally posted by: Vaedur
I posted this in the discussion due to the recent court ruling of bathrooms, but wanted to get it somewhere else, and added more here.. sorry if it's confusing to read, it's even more confusing to live:
I've very torn on this. I have a six year old for about 2 years insist she is a boy. Last night she had to take a "break" in the mall, so I made her go into the girls bathroom while I waited outside with my baby. Mom went in to "help" her when she showed up, and my daughter was telling a stranger who walked in "I'm a boy even though I'm in here but it's o.k. cause of mommy being in here'.
She perfers I call her "Jake" and that she is a boy, but I only do it occationally. She accepts when I call her by her name, but I know deep down inside she doesn't like it. She also knows dad isn't really to keen on It. At six kids are very smart no matter what you try to hide. She gets really pissed off if I say she has "lady parts" it's hard for me to accept obviously because I still refer to her as her. She's my daughter, NOTHING she chooses will change that as how I see her. All I know is it's very real, it controls her every thought. She is constantly asking about buying "boy clothes' her whole wardrobe is "boy clothes" I try to explain she is a tom boy, and she will go with that, till I hear her saying to an old lady " I'm supposed to tell you I'm a tom boy, but I'm a boy, don't say I'm a nice girl."
I'm not for her using a men's bathroom, but she sure as hell is embarrassed by using the ladies room.
F*@$@)@ that's all I have to say about that, but this is definitely not a black and white issue. I see both sides. I know when I'm taking a dump I don't care if some lady dressed like a man comes in. But I still see them as ladies. I know if my daughter was in a bathroom, and some dude dressed like a lady tried to go into the women's bathroom, I might threaten to punch him in the face if he wasn't willing to wait for my daughter to come out first.
Life is tricky sometimes. Their is no right answer to this. It's hard. It causes a rift between my wife and I. She is way more liberal about it then I am. I have a believe "you are what you are" I want to play QB for the New York Jets, but I can't (well maybe I can who knows!) as much as she wants to be a boy, but can't.
Here is the scary part. The research coming out (the little their is) says that almost all people in her shoes at this age are gay or bisexual, and most actually grow up to cross-dress and this is not the "phase" everyone seems to tell me it is. It's enough to break you down emotionally as a human being having a kid like this, I couldn't begin to imagine the pain it's going to cause her that will be lifelong...
All I can do is be dad, here for her. I will not be perfect, I may say things she doesn't like. Some of them will be right, most of them will be wrong. But .. I'll be dad, and I'll be here for her.. or him...