Passed up again. Don't know why I didn't expect that.

Well, the girl I told you guys about last( www.abovetopsecret.com... ) week now has a boyfriend.

I know I shouldn't have expected much, seeing as we live over 700 miles from eachother, but it still pisses me off.

It seems like every time I find a girl that I like it always ends up the same way. "I really do like you, but this guy just makes me feel so amazing!" is basically what they usually say followed by "I'm so sorry if I hurt you, you really are a great guy." Why can't they just tell the truth?

The only upside is that I don't think this one was purposefully leading me on but it still sucks. I've never met a girl who I instantly liked so much.

I don't mean to piss and moan on here all the time, but I guess I just need to vent.

If I do what feels natural, which is what most people consider clingy, then I push them away. If I try to give them a little space and not be so overbearing then they lose interest even faster. What gives? I don't understand it. Why is it that if I treat a girl like she should be treated then you're "not masculine enough" but if I take everyone's advice and not show so much interest then she still finds a guy that she likes more.

Seriously, I'm at my wit's end. Anybody have a clue what my problem is?

Whatever you do, don't go on a sexually frustrated shooting rampage.

a reply to: BasementWarriorKryptonite

Ha! No need to worry about that, I don't even own a gun right now. Plus, I'd never be able to kill someone that didn't deserve it, even then I'd probably hesitate.

Hey dave_welch. Woman problems, huh? Tell me about it.

Anyway, from why you said are you sure what they consider clingy you being natural? Or is it you being a little obsessive because your afraid to lose someone you love/like again.

Never and I repeat never show less interest than you have in them. From my experience women love attention. Not so much though.

From what I can tell you need a healthy middle. You seem to be either to "clingy" or seem distant to them. You don't have to text or call a woman every hour, but on the other hand don't let a day pass without calling or texting them.

700 miles is a bit hard to woo a special someone. If you can't take her on an amazing date or at least seeing each other sometimes you can't give her something to think about that'll make we say "whoa can't let go of him".

Just my two cents. Good luck to you sir. Hope this wasn't rude to any women in anyway.

a reply to: dave_welch

You should date women closer to you and while in the beginning phases it's fine to date more than one woman. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

Also treating a woman "as she should be treated" sounds like you don't pay attention to the personality of each individual woman you are dating. Just go with the flow and if she wants to text and talk all the time then answer her back. If she is the type that has her own thing going on then give her space but also maybe send her invite when you go out with your own friends.

Sounds like your expectations are too high and I'm sure women pick up on that sort of thing. Just go with the flow and have your own life as well and women will appreciate that.

a reply to: dave_welch

Prepare yourself for all the fake alpha males who will inevitably post about how they bang 10 chicks a week and tell you how to do the same ....

a reply to: RealLife

Well that's the trick, isn't it? Finding that happy medium. Maybe, just maybe if most women actually wanted what they said they wanted it would be a little easier on us guys. But no, they say they want one thing, then go for the complete opposite of that.

a reply to: dave_welch


Without knowing you and assuming you're a decent guy, it's likely that the girls you've been involved with didn't want to hurt your feelings - although that can still hurt by being confusing.

You're obviously keen to be with the right person, so I say be glad that you're available for when whoever that is comes along.

Don't let it get you down though or when the right one does come along they might notice it in your personality.

a reply to: dave_welch

Don't be what they want, sir,but be yourself. Then and only then will you find true happiness.

a reply to: OrphanApology

I've tried dating multiple women at once. Never works for me, if I can't focus on one then I screw it up even faster. I'm passed the date for dating's sake phase. It's not that good of a time, honestly. I'm only looking for one, not several and if I'm trying to court 3 or 4 then I just feel like a prick trying to be a player.

The distance was a big factor I think, but honestly, even if she lived next door I bet it would have went the same way. When you get passed up for a guy that wears eyeliner on a daily basis you start to wonder just what it is you're missing.

a reply to: InvisibleOwl

You mean those fat, bald, 30 year-old virgin keyboard warriors? Yeah, they'll probably show up.

originally posted by: RealLife
a reply to: dave_welch

Don't be what they want, sir,but be yourself. Then and only then will you find true happiness.

That is so true....! Be yourself.....and the right one will come along...you can't rush love.
And don't look at this as " passed up again" ...she just wasn't it...and who knows she could have had some deep,drama issues.she Probably did you a favor in the long run ....so thank your stars and move on. Love is coming your way. Promise.

a reply to: BasementWarriorKryptonite

Well, at least this time, that was the case. At least, that's what she eventually said when I pressed the issue. Hopefully that right one comes along someday, but she's sure taking her sweet time.

a reply to: dave_welch

Well from that it just sounds like you weren't her type. Some women like androgynous looking men.

a reply to: Meldionne1

That's all I ever do, unfortunately, myself never seems to be quite good enough.

originally posted by: dave_welch
a reply to: Meldionne1

That's all I ever do, unfortunately, myself never seems to be quite good enough.

But it will be and that's what's awesome. The wait sucks, but is surely worth it if it happens. The fear that it might not only makes it more exciting, I think.

originally posted by: dave_welch
a reply to: Meldionne1

That's all I ever do, unfortunately, myself never seems to be quite good enough.

Your self is just great the way you are. ....she's not good enough for you.

a reply to: OrphanApology

Well, that's the thing though. I met the guy, he is not a good person. I can't tell you why exactly, let's just say it was a feeling I got from him. And that's not just jealousy speaking because I felt that about that guy before I ever even though that I'd have to compete with him.

But whatever. We all know that women say they want one thing but it's rarely the truth. I'm not saying all women are like that, some of them probably are telling the truth when they talk about the type of guy they want, but for some reason most of them always go for the opposite don't they?

a reply to: BasementWarriorKryptonite

Maybe you're right, it just seems like it would have happened by now. This time, I was pretty certain that I had finally met that person, but I guess I was wrong. I can nearly guarantee that in a month or so they will have broken up and she'll be calling me saying that she should have given me a chance. She won't get a 2nd one though, I'm too old for those games.

a reply to: dave_welch

Well I am a lesbian so I'm sure that my experiences are different from yours but the way I always approach things is that if she chooses someone else she wasn't that into me in the first place. You basically just dodged the bullet early on instead of getting into a relationship only to have her dump you for eyeliner guy.

Also, if you met the guy and he is a "bad person" you just don't know why, sounds like jealousy. It's perfectly normal to feel that way but it is what it is.

Women will say various things but it's more in what they don't say that tells the true story. Body language and things like that will tell you more of how a woman feels about you then what comes out of her mouth.