Pouring your heart and soul into something no one cares about

You seem like a cool guy. 😎
Keep your head up, don’t quit.

We need more people who love what they do.
It’ll pay off someday.

It has to...

I’m sorry for your suffering.

Will check out your work.

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

Happens all the time, if you truly love what you do then do it for the sake of it and not for others
I’m sure most people have passions and hobbies that they would love to make a living from but instead have to do in their free time

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

You are definitely talented, keep it up...

You are a girl aren't you? Just wondering...

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

I poked around a little on your amazon links and your YT site. I have a couple comments/suggestions which might help you.

First off though, it is pretty clear you are very talented, probably more so than you realize. If that Manga is really hand-drawn by you (and not CGI), you are a gifted artist. You also seem well spoken. So, here are some general and specific things which might help you...

1. PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) - I get the distinct impression you set your sites lower than maybe you should. It's almost as if you are accepting of your situation (and I don't mean this in a mean way). You can be pretty proud of your talent. Maybe show that pride a little more.

2. Manga is a tough business to get recognized in. Western culture doesn't really "get it", and there's a tidal wave of it in Asia. Have you ever considered branching your talent out into other areas like say commercial business related art (i.e. advertising or illustration)? This might open up more lucrative opportunities to get recognized. Obviously, you can still do the Manga that you love, but just have other skill sets to pay the bills.

You seem like a very visual person (Manga artists usually are). I say this because it appears you enjoy telling the story more with pictures than with words. This is a very attractive trait/skill in commercial illustration (particularly advertising). You know the old saying, 'A picture tells a thousand words'. Well, it's true! Advertisers depend on a concept known as "dwell time". They know people have precious little of it, so the trick is to try to communicate as much of the message as fast as possible before someones 'dwell time' (attention) turns to something else.

3. I have a specific comment/suggestion about your YT channel. I would recommend removing a lot of the extraneous game related stuff and focus your channel on two things...your work and your journey. Both of these things are in there, but they're overwhelmed by all the other things which detract from your goals. Maybe create a second channel somewhere for your gaming stuff if you have to, but I'd recommend getting it off your main channel because it distracts viewers from your main focus (stated in your OP).

4. As I noted, you seem to speak well (watch the language though), and your thoughts seem to be linear which is good. I say this in a 'stream of consciousness' sort of way. Maybe try some exercises to turn those visual mental pictures into words. Clearly you have something to say, and a story to tell...so tell it. It might turn out better than you think. Even the elements of your personal journey along the way would be of interest to viewers. You have some of that, but just a little.

Hopefully these help!

ETA - I see you've already achieved 'writer' status here on ATS, which is great. Maybe write some more stories for the various competitions in the 'Short Stories' forum. It's a free way to get some really great feedback.

originally posted by: S777S
You seem like a cool guy. 😎
Keep your head up, don’t quit.

We need more people who love what they do.
It’ll pay off someday.

It has to...

I’m sorry for your suffering.

Will check out your work.

Thanks! You and everyone else... I really, truly appreciate all this positive feedback. I honestly didn't expect it. But you guys have all lifted my spirits considerably. Also, I'm a girl, even though my username might imply otherwise xD

You are definitely talented, keep it up...

You are a girl aren't you? Just wondering...

Yes, I am. And thank you so much!

I poked around a little on your amazon links and your YT site. I have a couple comments/suggestions which might help you.

First off though, it is pretty clear you are very talented, probably more so than you realize. If that Manga is really hand-drawn by you (and not CGI), you are a gifted artist. You also seem well spoken. So, here are some general and specific things which might help you...

1. PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) - I get the distinct impression you set your sites lower than maybe you should. It's almost as if you are accepting of your situation (and I don't mean this in a mean way). You can be pretty proud of your talent. Maybe show that pride a little more.

2. Manga is a tough business to get recognized in. Western culture doesn't really "get it", and there's a tidal wave of it in Asia. Have you ever considered branching your talent out into other areas like say commercial business related art (i.e. advertising or illustration)? This might open up more lucrative opportunities to get recognized. Obviously, you can still do the Manga that you love, but just have other skill sets to pay the bills.

You seem like a very visual person (Manga artists usually are). I say this because it appears you enjoy telling the story more with pictures than with words. This is a very attractive trait/skill in commercial illustration (particularly advertising). You know the old saying, 'A picture tells a thousand words'. Well, it's true! Advertisers depend on a concept known as "dwell time". They know people have precious little of it, so the trick is to try to communicate as much of the message as fast as possible before someones 'dwell time' (attention) turns to something else.

3. I have a specific comment/suggestion about your YT channel. I would recommend removing a lot of the extraneous game related stuff and focus your channel on two things...your work and your journey. Both of these things are in there, but they're overwhelmed by all the other things which detract from your goals. Maybe create a second channel somewhere for your gaming stuff if you have to, but I'd recommend getting it off your main channel because it distracts viewers from your main focus (stated in your OP).

4. As I noted, you seem to speak well (watch the language though), and your thoughts seem to be linear which is good. I say this in a 'stream of consciousness' sort of way. Maybe try some exercises to turn those visual mental pictures into words. Clearly you have something to say, and a story to tell...so tell it. It might turn out better than you think. Even the elements of your personal journey along the way would be of interest to viewers. You have some of that, but just a little.

Hopefully these help!

ETA - I see you've already achieved 'writer' status here on ATS, which is great. Maybe write some more stories for the various competitions in the 'Short Stories' forum. It's a free way to get some really great feedback.

Wow... this was SUPER helpful. Taking it all to heart. Also, yeah, I curse a lot in some of my youtube vids - that's more of a venting ground for me, I guess. xD

I never considered showing more pride. It feels presumptuous to wear such a thing on my sleeve, and I know from past mistakes that it can turn you into a rotten person fairly easily, but maybe I can do better with pride this time. Thank you so much for the compliments, it feels amazing to have people genuinely complimenting my work without me giving anything or any real reason.

Thank you so much, everyone!

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

I totally relate as I am in a similar position. Feels like the walls are closing in, eh?

a reply to: M5xaz

I thought Deviantart was only for visual arts, but otherwise I agree/

In this age, OP, a person often has to 'give it away' first and then the money comes later. In addition to Patreon I think Steemit and Medium also have payment systems? Gofundme is another option.

Any aspiring author should upload their best - complete - stories far and wide under a consistent Pen Name (if not your own, but try for one that doesn't match another author). Try also blogs, Wattpad, self-publishing (for hard copies), you name it. And don't forget to use tags/catagories so people can do searches. You never know what people are looking for - space vampires, zombies in 1800s London, Game of Thrones parody, etc.

If I recall correctly, the writer David Wong posted his works online for free and only later, after building a following, got published. Many agents only seem interested in those who've built up their own audience already (which makes you wonder what they are for) and even when published, the money for novels is seldom that good, and even then you as an author really have to hustle.

Also OP, if you struggle with depression, try Cognitive therapy. It may not be for everyone, but I found it helped. It's not simplistic 'thinking positive' New Age bullcrap, but about rewiring your perception and dismantling harmful mental habits.
positivepsychology.com...

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

I have been down all the way to the bottom in my life. I understand. It was me, and my guitar and nothing else. I cannot imagine the stress of being a mangaka. I cannot imagine the stress of being a homeless mangaka.

I thought I was in bad shape when I lived out of my car, until the freeze plugs blew and it couldn't roll. It was parked in an extraordinarily dangerous part of L.A., and there it would sit until I could afford to fix it.

It was parked in Compton for three weeks, and I worked odd jobs and bought the materials and crawled from the top of the engine down to where the problem was, and fixed the car. I wish like hell I still had that car, because it was a runner, and I loved it. I had converted the back seat into a bed with a very wide mattress, and I had installed a hanging bar in the massive trunk to hang my clothes.

I look back and that time, and I think to myself, "I can now see the beauty and growth of that time; when I can see the wonder when I'm in hard times, then I will be truly evolved."

You resonate as a survivor to me. I would guess your childhood was bumpy, but with pockets of pure joy and wonder.

You have a supreme gift, and that is creativity. People with creativity can create their own reality, and you will find your way somehow to people who can appreciate your art. For what it's worth, I think your art is incredible. Understand, I'm not drawn to the genre of art that your works are in, and yet, there is something really amazing and magical there.

Never give up, friend. Never stop pushing. I am a writer. I write. I hope to finish before I die. We'll see.

P.S. Never think that "nobody cares" about your art, or anything else. There are eclectic interests all around these days and with the miracle of internet connectivity, we can see everything. You and your art have worth. Possibly great monetary worth. You've chosen a field that speaks to you, but it isn't common.

You are worth waiting for.

Thank you guys all so much...


a reply to: argentus

You resonate as a survivor to me. I would guess your childhood was bumpy, but with pockets of pure joy and wonder.

Man, you hit the nail on the head with that. I actually have a character named Maxi who sums that up pretty well. Similar childhood, which he refers to by stating "too many bad memories mixed in with the good."

Thank you for your compliments, really made my night.

a reply to: argentus

Been wanting to write to you (OP) since I first flagged this post but could not find the words.

This reply above... just honestly... listen to this and take heed!!!

Wisdom.... you are not alone and neither is the poster

PS: I want to be honest here, I think you have been considering suicide from looking at your works, and what you have written in this thread, I hope I am wrong. Trust me, its not worth it. The night is always darkest before dawn. Ive lived it too, I do entertainment rather than books but I can relate, it is so hard and each level you reach adds to the burden but keep going!

Once you get there, you will realise your masterpiece, your own story or something out of the blue that you did not expect



Did not want to be so direct but I can just tell from the way you are typing that the night is very dark for you and ive been there too. Hold on! Let that b*tard of a rollercoaster take you right into the depths of the soul and appreciate when it carries you upwards as it will soon. Might take a short time, might take a long time, but we all have our story in the book of life so to speak!

originally posted by: XXXN3O
a reply to: argentus

Been wanting to write to you (OP) since I first flagged this post but could not find the words.

This reply above... just honestly... listen to this and take heed!!!

Wisdom.... you are not alone and neither is the poster

PS: I want to be honest here, I think you have been considering suicide from looking at your works, and what you have written in this thread, I hope I am wrong. Trust me, its not worth it. The night is always darkest before dawn. Ive lived it too, I do entertainment rather than books but I can relate, it is so hard and each level you reach adds to the burden but keep going!

Once you get there, you will realise your masterpiece, your own story

You know it! You're not too far off, either.

I've never been suicidal, exactly, but recklessness comes easier to me than it used to and I do have a few mental issues that occasionally lead to self-mutilation, though never by any life-threatening means.

Telling stories gives my life value. I don't think I could ever become full-on suicidal while I have lives to create and stories that still need to flourish. It's difficult for me to value my life, especially when I tend to believe a lot of people in this world aren't worth a damn (I know it's cryptic and cold, lol), but, well, that's why the Doomsday Chronicles Series exists. The world of Doomsday provides a solution to my awful feelings regarding the value of life - just kill all the asshole people in a global war and write for the half-decent people who managed to survive. xD

The value of life suddenly grows vibrant in a world that's constantly threatening your basic survival - compassion means a lot more in that world, and so does betrayal. Everything is just more real, y'know? Bonds form quicker and so do betrayals. People become transparently themselves when their lives are threatened, and that's an honest world - a world where you always who who your friends and enemies are.

The perfect escape.

a reply to: XxKonspiracyxX

Just keep your chin up and keep going