Breastfeeding. I feel the pain of all pregnant women receiving unsolicited advice.

I told my friends and family that I was pregnant one week ago. My partner and I are also very involved, socially, in our small community. We're legion members, and it's generally a town where everyone knows everyone. Word gets around and pretty much everyone in town who cares to know, knows that we're expecting.

In ONE WEEK I have recieved more unsolicited advice, especially about breastfeeding, than I have ever cared to hear in my life.

Most women, and some men, have asked if I'll breast or formula feed. I plan on breastfeeding. Here are some of the things I've been advised about breastfeeding with no exaggeration:

Breastfeeding is "gross". Babies can get better "stuff" out of formula "these days", and it's so convenient.

Your boyfriend will be so jealous. It's easier to formula feed so he can feed the baby too.

Don't pump your breast milk, it sucks all of the nutrition out as well.

People say don't drink when you're breastfeeding, but honestly, your body knows to filter it out so it won't hurt the baby.

But today I heard the most inane breastfeeding advice yet:

Woman: Will you breastfeed?
Me: I'm really hoping too.
Woman: Well, just so you know, like, 10% of first time mothers can breast feed for more than a couple of weeks.
Me: That doesn't even make sense.

If even one woman believes this to be true, I'm sad for her. How does she think 99% of the first born children before formula were fed, and didn't starve to death? Does she think every woman had access to a wet nurse? This made me shake my head.

Does she think first born children born prior to formula were just "milk babies" to be discarded, whose sole purpose was to ready a mother to nurse her second born?

I don't think I can listen to much more without turning into an eye roller or a heavy sigh enthusiast.

I feel for every woman who has had to listen to things like this, breast feeding or formula feeding; and I feel more so for every person who spreads false and unsolicited pregnancy advice.

Blah blah, tell them for me to politely mind their own business. How you feed your baby is up to you.

a reply to: intrptr

wow, what a bunch of nonsense...sorry you have to put up with that!!!!where do people get these ideas???

a reply to: research100

I have no clue!



Maybe people can give me a laugh. Share the silliest pregnancy advice you recieved.

originally posted by: research100
a reply to: intrptr

wow, what a bunch of nonsense...sorry you have to put up with that!!!!where do people get these ideas???

From the internet, probably.

I have been so fortunate that have yet to encounter crazies. Never had a stranger touch my belly, or offer unsolicited advice.

But, I did have a crazy sister in law who had been trying to conceive for a couple months when my husband and I fell pregnant. She was SO upset and apparently bad mouthed us behind our backs (unknowingly to a coworker of mine). Then she had the nerve (or disturbed thought) to ask if she could see a doctor to be put on hormones and breastfeed my expectant baby!!!!!! I think I handled it well, and didn't freak out, as was warranted. Actually, it's been the sister in law that has been the most crazy I have dealt with in my pregnancies.

a reply to: chelsdh

I think I would have laughed so hard SHE cried.

I understand that not being able to have children is emotionally gut wrenching, but your sister in law sounds like a " see you next Tuesday".

a reply to: Atsbhct

I had my baby 41 years ago and trust me I was not encouraged to
breastfeed.They even had bottles specially made for food as well.
The 70's moms were more encouraged to be too busy to take care
of their babies.

a reply to: mamabeth

Well I'm glad you were able to make your own choice.

a reply to: Atsbhct
She had only been trying for a couple of months, was a newly wed, just off birth control, so she had no reason to worry (and now had 4 kids). She just was beside herself as to how her brother and his wife (me) got pregnant unexpectedly, and she couldn't right when she wanted it.

I remember telling my husband about her request and his reaction was more along the lines of what she needed to hear. Needless to say, we aren't close. Although our kids are all close in age, I stay as far away as I politely can!

As far as breastfeeding, I think what ever works for you is the best option! I nursed my other kids for a period, and plan to this one (maybe I can make it a whole year). But there should never be shaming on either side.

My wife breastfed both our kids.

There are tons of health benefits to breastfeeding. The kind of BS you're catching is unsupported by facts. Tell those people to kindly mind their own business and if you feel you need advice you will ask a qualified medical professional, not someone who bases their opinions on breastfeeding on old wives tales.

Most doctors and nurses will advise breastfeeding.

a reply to: chelsdh

I don't know if I'd make it a year, myself. Baby teeth = slightly scary.



a reply to: projectvxn

I definitely think everyone's choice is their own. I agree that breastfeeding is great, but sometimes the nurses and doctors are too pushy about it. I witnessed a nurse tell a new mother that if she formula fed, the baby would be significantly less intelligent...that's overkill for me.

You're right, the best place for medical advice is medical professionals.

You may find you enjoy breastfeeding. You may find that you do not. You may find that you tolerate it. You may find you love it. No one can say.

No one should.

Just do what you think that you should with your doctors advice when needed.

One thing is for sure...
What you think you know now, will change once you have the baby. Hang on, we've all been there. Good luck.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Best thing you can do for your child is one thing for sure

a reply to: Atsbhct

I didn't breastfeed,I bottled-fed mine.I was also concerned about the size
of my breasts too.Not bragging,but they are big and I was afraid I would
smother my baby.

a reply to: Azelia74

Maybe homemade breast milk cheese?

a reply to: Atsbhct

Sometimes they can be pushy. But there are reasons for that. Many times breastfeeding reduces allergies later on and helps the immune system immensely. It's a good way to prevent early diseases that may complicate things and it's a good way to lose that weight.

All the best to you and yours.

a reply to: mamabeth

Absolutely I gladly let my hubby make some ( we are always in excess )
Can be a very bonding experience for both of you .. mine doesn't it just heavenly

a reply to: Azelia74

To be honest...I am 61 and my husband is 80 and I really don't see
breast milk in our future.At least not mine they have been dry for
many years now.