My Theory Concerning Secret Cat Names

I had a meow-meow.

When he finally passed at the ripe old age of 18, he had some 80+ names.

I will share one: Gorglesnoootz. That's just one, for instance.

And so I have developed this theory: That the most beloved cats acquire the most secret names, in number, complexity and, amongst us humans, the silliest.

When they get to Heaven, they share with the other cats there, their collection of secret names, and they play a game like this.

I have a young cat now; recently adopted.

His names are manifold, and growing.

I will share two: Frodanander is one. When he was wee, another was "Baron Von Harbler", until, of course, he became harbled.

Would any of you be willing to share your secret names for your precious meow-meows?

Annunciate them if you so will.



So mote it be.

I think you're on to somethin, I've got a 13yo cat named Hank, AKA...

Hank the Tank
Hankster Tankster
BudRo
Biggest kitty in the World... the whole world... the wide world... the whole mutha uckin world. (I actually do say this)
Sh!ta$s
Stinka$s

And last but not least... Turbo Chunk.

a reply to: rexsblues

Excellent work with the stink.

I just go straight for "Stinky-Ass-Boo-Boo", or "Stink-Meister".

a reply to: Bybyots

Are dogs excluded ? he is in my avatar....

Gravy:
Gravs
Gravesta
Gravox
G Banger
Sir Fair Dinkum
Barry Crockster
Man on a mission
T-Bar handle head

There are more, he is like one of the children here.... you should hear what i call them

I had a black tom with a bob-tail that went door to door at the apartment complex I lived in begging for affection and handouts. I named him "Spook."
It seems like everyone had their own nickname for him.
Spookster
Spooky Rabbit
Pooky Bear
Pooks
#er
Bastard
Damn Cat
Get On
Shoo!

Foolish mortal, the names you know are by definition NOT the true secret names.

"But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover-
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable,
Effinineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name"

"The naming of cats", -Old Possum, T.S. Eliot

a reply to: skunkape23

LOL Bastard......

a reply to: scubagravy

Are dogs excluded ?

Certainly not: same "heavenly" rules apply.

He's playing the game now.



Seriously dying over this one: Barry Crockster

omigod i think youre RIGHT

for example...
my (almost) 16 yr old (ex)wild tomcat is really called Pippin...
but that means pips, mister pips, old mister pips, old mister pink nose, fuzzypants, ringtail, ringtailio, misterfatsoman, and
old-mister-stripe-ed-ee-pants.

He is somecalled ole mister, mister mans, and misterboy (his favorite). he is a big biter, and he is a fuzzy old fat bellied old shnizzle.

you know that they pay someone in the NSA to read all of this...

a reply to: Bybyots

Oh, I like you.

My cats all had rather "normal" names. Daisy, Sabrina, Zelda, Harvey, etc. One exception (and I feel bad about this one) was this cat I had when I was a kid and he was seriously a bit off in the head, cross eyed, and ran into crap all the time. I named him "Stoopid". I felt kind of bad about that later.

My current one doesn't have a name but that is his choice.

ps edit - I forgot about Hollywood! I didn't name her, though. I was married into that situation.

Yup, sounds like a valid theory to me. Confirmed, even!

I have three cats.

Cat 1:
~ Real name: Osiris
~ AKA: grumpy bastard
~ AKA: the ginger
~ AKA: whiny pus

Cat 2:
~ Real name: Isis (named after the goddess, and before ISIS became well known)
~ AKA: Moon Moon
~ AKA: Dog
~ AKA: white demon
~ AKA: Stupid cat (she isn't smart)
~ AKA: Terrorist cat

Cat 3:
~ Real name: Echo
~ AKA: fat cat
~ AKA: obese cat
~ AKA: fat ass cat
~ AKA: peeps
~ AKA: peeps 'n squeaks
~ AKA: the adopted one
~ AKA: aqua cat

a reply to: DISRAELI

Foolish mortal, the names you know are by definition NOT the true secret names.

This is the truth. Undeniable.

Yet we attempt to distill it through the naming, hence the great number of names.

We are bound to this foolish game, and in the end it reveals the endgame of the heavenly BooBooSnootzers.

Good job.

Do you have a BooBoo?

Perhaps not all names per se but certainly directed at them.
Oi!
No!
Nonononono!
Little Legs.
(hand clap)
Leave 'er alone! (directed at cat 2)
Naaalaaaa! (growled)
Watchoodoin'?
Sooksook
Sookie Stardust
Chunkey Monkey
EDF (from the EDF Energy cat as the cat's face is the spit of that one albeit a different colour)
Tribble

a reply to: Bybyots
I have no pets of my own, though I grew up with cats.
Our family lacked inventiveness when it came to names.
We had a mother-and-son pair who lived for years under the names BigPuss and LittlePuss (B.P. and L.P., for short).

a reply to: scubagravy

Normal cat names. Except one. most of us have one.

The normal: Tory, Bijou, Angel, Squirt (squirt was adopted, he came with the name), Moxie, Chloe. There are a couple more over the years. I only have 2 now.

Biscuit. Poor lil Biscuit. At one time I had Tory and her 2 sons, Angel and Bijou, Siamese cats. I did not have any idea that she could mate with one of her sons. Apparently, cats do this.

It would be Tory's 2nd litter and thank God it was only one. We named the cat Biscuit. In the past, when the cats went where they weren't supposed to- I managed a motel at the time- me and my ex would say 'Bikit!!' and they would return. Why we said this and why they listened, I do not know.

But it led to the poor incest cat being named Biscuit. Biscuit was never the smartest knife in the drawer, but I loved him. He didn't live as long as other cats I had, but I think 5 years at least.

Here's to Biscuit!

a reply to: DISRAELI

BigPuss and LittlePuss

This is entirely sufficient. Thank you so much for sharing.

Well our little kitty is a true wannabe

She demanded a title and not a name;

Princess Blossomena, regent of all that is Klemzig.

I call her kitty for short and she just meows at me and gives me 'that look'

a reply to: markosity1973

Princess Blossomena, regent of all that is Klemzig.

I'm crying, so I can only imagine how this must have #ed up the game in meow-meow heaven.

That's beyond precious.

originally posted by: Bybyots

When they get to Heaven, they share with the other cats there, their collection of secret names, and they play a game like this.

well, we have a bit of an extended game with the names.

when one goes into heaven their favorite nickname goes over to the new animal as that ones surname.

so e.g. my last dog (and me) we favored "bärlibutz", baerbutz in english. so bärlibutz is now my current dogs surname. she will pass on our favorit nickname "googslimooksli" to the following animal what ever that might be.

a reply to: reldra

...me and my ex would say 'Bikit!!' and they would return.

Mystery of mysteries.



Having an animal, especially a cat, named in such a way, was considered "indicium" of being a witch by non other than Matthew Hop[kins, infamous "Witchfinder General".