Sexism, Misogyny and the rise and rise and rise of the internet asshole....

a reply to: TrueBrit

Making threats of violence over threats of violence...

But that's OK because it's towards men.

If speech is to be stifled in any form, it should not be a law that does it. It should be society that does it.

Speech is not action. Rights cannot be trampled with speech (short of outright libel). Hurt feelings can abound. No argument there. But speech, by itself, is not capable of infringing on rights.

That said, I have no issue with someone taking a poke in the nose for their comments. While I believe in free speech (full, unbridled), I also believe in chivalry. And "fighting words".

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

If speech is to be stifled in any form, it should not be a law that does it. It should be society that does it.

Agreed and now worried I may have taken what the OP was saying the wrong way.

Why do we let it happen?

Bystander effect for the most part is my guess, I generally don't comment on youtube ever, regardless of what cesspit discussion they are having. The comment sections should be called asstube, thats probably a site already though.

I had a female avatar a few times.... Man u2us been quite lately, so ronery!

a reply to: Lysergic

I'm just curious.

What does this mean??? I know it's English, but I don't understand all the words used.

Man u2us been quite lately, so ronery!

Did you mean for "quite = quiet" and "ronery = ????"

a reply to: mOjOm
Translation: U2U(private messages) have been quiet lately. So lonely.

The more "PC" and censored the real world gets, the worse people will push back online. You gotta watch what you say so as not to hurt anyone's feelings and whatnot in real life(if you wish to play by society's rules at least), online is the last place people can actually say whatever, and not have to worry about the pitchforks coming out. I like it that way myself. If people knew half the things I think about, you would probably find me hanging from a street lamp. Thankfully, I get to vent on the internet forums so as I don't explode.

a reply to: Lysergic

This is completely off topic but I finally realized your avatar is a skull! Feeling pretty perceptive right now! Should probably sit back from the screen every now and again...

What kind of things did people say to you with a female avatar? I think it's hysterical people will try to hit on someone from a message board.

I think I may try this for poops and giggles. I'm still laughing at the guy that thought I was an immature girl for putting makeup on my cat.

a reply to: TKDRL

I figured out the first one..

Is ronery supposed to be irony???

a reply to: mOjOm
"Lonely" in a scoobydoo accent. Or an asian accent, depending who you ask.

a reply to: TKDRL

Ahhhh.....Very creative. It would have taken a while until I figured that one out on my own.

Thanks.

a reply to: mOjOm

Sorry for the confusion, just saw this but it seems explained, excuse my poor spelling

a reply to: neformore

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you all
about how well, some women can hold their
own just fine on the net. And how still others,
could out cuss a trucker stuck in traffic and shred
most IAHs to pieces. So up pops the question, is the
female really a lady? Just because she's a female, dosn't
at all make her a lady. For me the word suggests a classiness
in a woman, that isn't draped on by her status. A lady is a woman,
I believe, who has simply realised the beauty and elegance she can
add to the world. And is making a noteable effort to achieve her own
absolute pinnacle of both, as the world burns around her. And a ladys
efforts demand chivalry. Some people just have their internet persona
set on coarse and sail straight thru with that setting. Gender ignored.
And that sometimes puts them in this context of IA. So how can you
even know the difference in the first place?

a reply to: Lysergic

We are all sending you suggestive U2Us now. OK it's probably only going to be me.

a reply to: Domo1

Stupid stuff really, crap like wanna be my gf, to "YOU'RE HOT" had some Masumi Max avatar the creepers came out, creepers or just idiots for thinking I am the picture? gets lonely even on ATS I suppose , lol I even recall one time in a thread, I could be wrong maybe I shouldnt say members name(cause I might be mistaken) but someone had a pic of themselves up and someone literally was hitting on them in the thread explaining how they like MILFS, even thought they were a young man themselves... heh.

Now that I think about it, that Masumi Max avatar caused the T&C to be revised regarding such avatars

a reply to: Lysergic

Yup, changing my avatar. This is going to amuse me greatly.

Oh man, just Googled that name. WOW.

a reply to: neformore

one of the problems is that the pendulum swung too far in the opposite direction in many parts of the western world. this was aimed, almost exclusively, at white males, although black and hispanic males have had their fair share of it too. what am i talking about? well, rape quotas. women's groups are screaming for the law to be stricter on rape prevention and crimes and to do so by proving they are prosecuting offenders. many innocent men are literally railroaded into pleading guilty for crimes they haven't done. then they spend the rest of their lives on the sexual predators list, where they live a life of almost complete isolation, akin to the days when women were marked with a big red "A" if they were accused of adultery, innocent or not.

the only social response that arises from a pendulum swing to that extreme, is an extreme reciprocal response. i've been trying to explain this to people who bring up this topic as i view the radical extreme it has gotten to, as unacceptable,and i fear the reciprocal will put us back into the dark ages.

i'm female, btw

It happens everywhere, and I think most of us women are used to it.
It happens at ATS too. This last week I was in a discussion here with a guy that just repeatedly wrote disparaging things about women, and how stupid they all are, etc. No one dared to enter the thread, and I didn't report it until something like the fourth or fifth day of it, and even then, I felt I could only report the slurs directed at me individually.

If I had reported the extreme sexism, I would have been labelled a feminazi- despite the fact that I have very often spoken out in defense of men and explained that I am against many types of feminist movements.

I understand that since the '70's we've developed the theory of giving only positive reinforcement, and ignoring completely all negative behaviors. The theory is that people want attention foremost (be it negative or positive, doesn't matter) so if everyone ignores certain behaviors, they will not continue them. I am of the opinion that that is not an entirely beneficial or constructive method, but even more so on Internet.

Even if everyone ignores innappropriate behavior on the internet, the person can still have the sense that they were heard and got attention- even with no visible proof of it. No response, they can simply believe they hit so hard they stunned the other into silence- a form of dominance. A win. .... even if the reality is that everyone who read it simply decided they were the worlds biggest moron and scrolled on past with an eyeroll and shake of the head.

Much is left to the imagination in this medium.

I tend to assume, when I come across that kind of thing, that it is a young man or boy, who hasn't gained a more mature and experienced view upon women. In the past, I would probably never have to interact with young men or boys much and they certainly wouldn't voice such opinions in my face. So I don't know if there is more of it than there used to be, or just more occasions to see what was always underneath.

I do kind of wish that more men would speak up and deal with these young men on this kind of behavior, because clashing with a woman on it never seems constructive- they are simply written off as being defensive and unable to be objective because they are the target of the comments.

The problem is frustrating because even speaking up against such hate speech confirms their claim that we are reactive and hysterical. It sometimes feels like something of a trap.

a reply to: undo

its interesting you bring up the pendulum swing. I was mulling this over a little earlier.

I think that when you talk about gender equality, it boils down to sexist men who get angry in response to having their ego challenged, and the rest of us who are not sexist and are sick and tired of feminist presuming the worst of all men.

In any population there are going to be a few a-holes. You can force them to stifle who/what they are. Or you can encourage them to express it. To affix their own big, red, scarlett "A" to their lapels.

Its better to know where they are is my opinion. Take Fred Phelps....if his speech were stifled, how many congregants might he have had passed through his flock? No, his scarlet A was enormous. At warded off all but his family, who may have had some fear of him rejecting them, more than them being the same kind man he was.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

yeah i knew a guy that happened to. he was accused by his step daughter of touching her inappropriately, even though he didn't. and it wasn't even a rape related incident. but he was tried as a sexual predator (she was 18 at the time as well). none of his evidence was allowed in court. he was just a quota number. there was a white collar exec also being accused of inappropriately touching a female employee, and he and the guy i know, became friends while discussing their dilemmas. the white collar guy hired the best lawyer he could get, who promised him he could get him a not guilty plea, successfully. he believed him and was instead, put in prison for 20 years. not even a rape, just inappropriate touching of an adult female employee, that he claimed, he didn't do.

so the guy i know, saw that and plead guilty, because if you plead guilty on a first time offense, they would let you off with probation, attendance of a sexual offender class, where you would be forced to write an apology letter to the person you offended and, be forced to write a letter of accusation to yourself as if you were the person you hurt. then put on the sexual offenders list and constant surveillance for the rest of your life.

yeah. those guys have no shot at all. once a woman accuses you, that's it. it's quota time.

and what is the reciprocal response to that? think about it.