Sexism, Misogyny and the rise and rise and rise of the internet asshole....

a reply to: neformore

i didn't say it justifies anything. If you got a problem with someone saying they are going to rape the person, the person will need to take it up with the police and press charges. ( of course you will need proof of an authentic threat) I'm however not going to risk my life because of some nouns and verbs that comes out of some dingus's mouth. Free speech and all.

If the guy physically tries to rape said individual. Use mace.

I don't hide the fact that I am a women in my responses but after reading threads on this forum I chose not to use a feminine name when I registered, but a character name from a great UK series, actually a man why tried to remove his identity from the net completely. I do think women are the recipients of move threats that are sexually motivated then men. Which obviously suggests that when men dislike what a woman says they are more Likely to have sexual violence in mind which is disturbing.

I don't spend much time online aside from ATS so fortunately I haven't seen much of what you're talking about Nef. I know it's out there - it always has been but thank God there's safe havens where we don't have to tolerate it.
- Here's to decency and treating everyone with respect.

The whole Chad Evans thing here in the UK is disgusting. A convicted rapist who's whole family have taken to social media to attack not only his victim but any who express their disgust at his actions.

a reply to: neformore

And I'm disappointed that I had to type all that out to somehow justify a thread?

I'm sorry

I thought they were legitimate questions.

I'll cease now..

Semper

Honestly, I'm the type of person who tends to get people angry online due to the fact that I can sound a bit condescending due to being an insufferable know-it-all. And people try to troll me all of the time. Unfortunately for them, I love to argue and I don't back down. People say I sound like a dude online. I don't really know but even when they know that I'm a girl, I've never gotten threatened with rape, or death, or anything crazy like that. I've been called every name in the book, but somehow, I usually am able to use rhetoric to either make whoever is being mean to me apologize/recant their statements OR if the person I'm arguing with is a sociopathic moron, I tell them EXACTLY what I think of them--usually reducing them to either tears or even more rage. >

Either way, it always hurts my feelings that someone would go out of their way to be a jerk to me (especially when all I ever try to do is be helpful/share information about things I find interesting). But sadly that isn't anything new to me.

Forever, people have been rather nasty to me. Probably because I'm attractive, well-dressed, and good at whatever I put my mind to (academically/creatively. I am NOT good at exerting myself physically xD i have bad hand-eye coordination and am not the most-graceful person ever to walk this earth, for sure hahaha). But luckily for me, I have some major invisible balls. (even though my skin is rather thin). I think people think that I am bragging and so they get mad. But I never am. I am just trying to relate.

Einstein was right: there is a wall that divides some people from everyone else.

My case aside, yeah its pretty shiesty what some basement-dwelling losers want to say to others online. I step in and defend people when I see harassment occurring. I can't stand allowing a bully to continue being a bully. Even if that means that I become the object of their harassment. So be it. They're just insecure cowards--and I think that standing up to them helps me to build my own character. And it just feels like it's the right thing to do. I've actually had some trolls break down and start telling me their life's story. When that happens, I try my best to help them. Because not all of them are awful people--even though most of them are.

Oh yeah, and besides ATS, I'm a League of Legends player (gold. heimerdinger ftw lol) and I play WoW--these are the places where most of this trolling occurs. But it happens at times on facebook on other people's pages/groups where I baby powder some troll arse.

a reply to: rukia

i congratulate you on your ability to respond to harassers but i usually don't pay mind to them because that's just how it works.

You feed the trolls until they feel you are sufficiently angry. The determine your anger level by the hostility of the responses. They want to see you are actually pissed so will continue to egg you on in a sort of futile argument to see if the emotional responses were genuine. Once established, They quickly leave to find another target and repeat the process.

Yes it's called feeding the trolls.

You can decide to feed or not to feed the trolls, The outcome tho is losing your personal time to type up a rant that will be mostly ignored anyways.

Tho this responses isn't exactly to how you would respond to others. Just simply this is the fomula on how to troll. But if you think what you are saying has a great effect continue. As long as you can ruin their fun and make the context really Dry and boring they won't even try.

You can't do anything with dry subtext. lol. P.S its freakin cold outside but that half moon outside looks amazing. Should of set up my telescope.... il have to do it tomorrow hopefully its clear out and i get get a good view of the crescent moon which i think is in a couple days?

a reply to: AnuTyr

Yeah. I know. You are right. It usually is a waste of time--but it helps me vent my frustrations as well sometimes and it entertains me because it is a challenge. I don't ever have a plan or anything going in--I just roll with it.

Regarding the trolls who are just sad people who are crying out for help (all of them), while they anger me, I have sympathy for them. And it makes me sad that someone could truly be like that. So yes, I try to reach out and help. Even though I'm usually casting pearls before swine.

Futile or not, if I get the gut-feeling that I should do/say something, I usually do. I'm not right all of the time, and I've said some awful things on League to the morons that play that game (it's so bad), but I try not to make the same mistake twice.

I do have a bad habit of trolling myself, though haha

I'll try being uber dry next time I find myself in one of those situations--thanks for the great idea

a reply to: neformore

OK, i have never been in the position of being a "woman" on line and receiving derogatory (or worse) comments thankfully, i don't do social media either so have not witnessed what the OP pertains too, therefore i am probably not in a position to make comments on this thread.

What i was trying to do was try to explain that ANYONE can be a nasty bastard, certainly with the anonymity that the Internet provides where you can chop and change your persona to meet your mood, hence my edited Jeckyl and Hyde comment after original post.

My McCann comment and link was not about the case, it was about the "woman" that made some rather nasty comments, proving that its not just men who can be nasty. The coward that killed herself was probably a nice person in real life but, because she could get away with it (or so she thought) changed personality when online.

The second link was a comment referring to the Title only (i perhaps should have made it more clear) ...... whereby i said " This would not surprise me" with reference to the title "Peretti Suspects Internet Trolls Are Sweet Grannies IRL" meaning it would not surprise me if Trolls were all Sweet Grannies either.

Cheers

a reply to: neformore

I'd at least rather know what people are thinking - instead of having them think all these things and hide it from you. Then you can face that person head-on, in a truth rather than seeing only the lie.

I'm serious. Plus I'm a woman. People are going to think whatever it is they think... better to know what someone is really all about, and deal with them accordingly.

a reply to: semperfortis

It's a bit odd how anti-equality people use ''equality'' as an argument when it suits them.

I see many people here say that there's all kinds of horrible behaviour online- I wholeheartedly agree! Many women and men say awful things to each other. But that's really not an argument imo to cease this discussion; it's like talking about preparing a certain garden plant for winter, and people shouting: but other plants exist as well!

The online misandry people speak of- where is it? Honestly, a question and not a rhetoric one. Obviously there must be some really hateful sites against men because yes, the internet! Do these men get threats however or is it just causing them to be butthurt? And while I don't condone such things it's imo a whole other matter altogether.

Some also said that if you feel threatened or hurt or whatever by something you read, you should just leave. Well, that'd mean no more YT among many other things. I hope you don't honestly and sincerely believe that that's a solution in the slightest... just let the hateful bile spewers win? Yeah! If you don't wanna get harassed, wear a niqab! (even though it doesn't work, fyi.) Oh, and stay at home at all times unless you REALLY have to leave. This is the truth for many women in many countries and even though it's an extreme (yet a common one, it's normal reality there) it's exactly the same reasoning.

People try to use 'freedom of speech'. Sure. Besides the actual threats of violence, yes, I can walk up to a fat dude or lady and start making horrible comments and call them names. Or just make these slight remarks and say things that aren't supposedly any bad, but actually are very insulting. But no, I don't do that. And if I would, these people would have all the right to tell me that I'm a mean lady and should shut my pie-hole. And rightly so, because I should treat others with respect and civility.

Yeah, I CAN say it, but should I? That you can say it technically doesn't mean the other people should just accept that because you choose to abuse a right.

Then there's the argument of 'just ignore it/don't go there anymore because that's just how things work'. Luckily not everyone thinks like that, because if the argument 'it's just how it is' would be so valid and the end of every discussion,we'd still be living in the stone age.

originally posted by: neformore

Are some of you saying it's ok because it's "freedom of speech"?

Imagine you are out in a bar with your significant other, or daughter and some random guy walks up to her in the middle of your conversation because he's heard something she said and he disagrees with, tells her she's a slut and walks off, then comes back a few minutes later and calls her a whore, then comes back again and tells her he's going to track down where she lives and rape her because she's stupid and looks like the type that could do with a good rape to sort her out


Except you wouldn't. You'd have taken his head off, or called the cops, or the venue security and had the guy removed, or all three.

for me it is a free speech issue...but if that happened to my wife or daughter then yeah, that person would have a major problem....
im not the baddest dude around but im not afraid to take it to the edge if i need to.
i dont care about myself really so i would have exactly zero issues with jail time, for destroying someone that talked to my ladies like that.....

i think its different online than it is in real life though....online it is easy(at least easier) to ignore..the person getting abused online can get away from it with a click....not true in the real world.

i still think it is disgusting and i still think that more often than not they are some sort of basement dweller or someone with serious hangups in real life that would never be like that(at least not to that extent) in the real world....

everyone can be a tough ass mofo through the pc and i think thats what a lot of them do.

i dont have the answers but i do not think writing laws against this speech is the answer.

it happens to kids too with online bullying on social network sites...it sucks but it can be avoided. if my daughter was getting bullied on facebook(im talking the serious # you hear in the news) then you can believe she would not be on facebook.

we all know that bullies are big pussies anyway in real life....same as online.
in school, the bully picks on the kids that allow it to happen.......
if john q bully was relentless and bullied john q nerd every day and nerd didnt do anything but cry about it, it would keep happening.....if nerd smashed bully in the face with a science book then nerd would not get bullied anymore.

i have always felt like this.....i hate bullies....even though i can fight, and have trained to fight, i dont like to....i will if need be....fact is, sometimes it is needed.

before people flip, when i say smash him in the face i dont mean do that cause someone called you fat or a nerd. im talking about those poor kids that get their money taken. physically abused...stuffed in lockers....etc etc....day in and day out....that kind of stuff.

i am a huge advocate for standing up for yourself......its different online.....

i mean i still feel that people should stand up for themselves but online the best thing is to just click away...done and done....

while i cant stand it, someone telling my wife they were going to rape her on a message board or wherever is a lot different than someone saying that to her in person....
you know..

I am sorry, but in which corner of the internet do you even find those alien attacks against women? Are we talking about some TTIP/HAES-tumblerina, who didn't like some "thin sticks", or are we talking about "gamergate", whatever that was (I know enough about it, thanks) - but where did it take place?

Facebook? Stay out of it, problem solved. If needed, ignore the trolls.
Reddit? Shut off that subreddit.
Tumblr? Learn to live with idiots.

Really, that is my main point: learn to live with the idiots. They won't stop trolling, at least until they reached maturity.
If they didn't stop trolling even then, then some wiring in their heads must be faulty, and they most likely will trip over it some time in real live. Which is bad, but will happen anyway, even if they didn't troll your website anymore.

a reply to: Pitou

How about this? Don't use Muslim women in any of your arguments.

It's neither your religion nor your reality - don't pretend like it is.

You have a million freedoms, and you are upset because some men speak their minds? Would you honestly rather not know what they are all about and face them head on - in a reality?

Yes,some men are abused... I HAVE seen it with my own eyes actually. Some women are too although I doubt many can even begin to understand what real abuse is.

I have seen women use "abuse" as a form of power and control over men, and guess what... that pisses me off to no end because the women who cry how abused they are have never once known what real abuse is.

Let people be whoever they are.... good or bad because there is a LOT of bad in this world... and deal with the reality of them head on. If you cannot do that, then you are only pretending at having any power at all. Real power, is dealing with reality as it comes - and dealing with it well.

a reply to: Grovit

When we were kids we dealt with bullies. We faced them in schools, the boys fought the bullies and sometimes lost the fights and learned to fight better. The girls had girl bullies and we dealt with them however we dealt with them.\

No one protected us from the bullies but us.

What happened to our world that we have all become so sensitive we forgot how to stand up for our own selves and started expecting everyone else to stand up for us.

We have become weak, and its ridiculous.

a reply to: OpinionatedB

I'm not pretending their reality is my reality- not in the slightest. I used these situations as an example to clarify what I meant with the type of reasoning. You know, ''if you're threatened in any way, don't come to the internet anymore!'' It's actually somewhat absurd but why that is so, is explained a bit more by this example, at least as I hoped.

You have a million freedoms, and you are upset because some men speak their minds?

Well it seems like you twist it all a bit there. Men may sure speak their minds, but that doesn't take away my right to disagree with them, object to what they say or call them out on terrible behaviour. Besides, there's quite a difference between 'speaking your mind' and threatening with violence and intimidation.

Would you honestly rather not know what they are all about and face them head on - in a reality?

I don't understand what you mean by this.

Yes,some men are abused... I HAVE seen it with my own eyes actually. Some women are too although I doubt many can even begin to understand what real abuse is.

I never denied that men get abused, they are and in the most horrifying ways. I won't easily touch the subject of what 'real abuse' is as I don't deem it right for me to categorise someone else's suffering like that. But I'm not against men, I don't condone any form of abuse or violence towards them nor do I deny that bad things happen to them. Not at all!

I have seen women use "abuse" as a form of power and control over men, and guess what... that pisses me off to no end because the women who cry how abused they are have never once known what real abuse is.

If you falsely use 'abuse' as a manipulation method or a way of control that's some pretty sickening behaviour.

Let people be whoever they are.... good or bad because there is a LOT of bad in this world... and deal with the reality of them head on. If you cannot do that, then you are only pretending at having any power at all. Real power, is dealing with reality as it comes - and dealing with it well.

But isn't that exactly what you do when you try to counter undesirable behaviour?

a reply to: OpinionatedB

Part of dealing with it, is to express our disgust over it. How dare you try and make out that we are somehow divorced from how other women are treated because they are from a different religion. They live in the same societies as us. The religious mores that effect them, effect our societies.

a reply to: OpinionatedB

thats correct.....
i remember being bullied by a kid named antonio when i was in 4th grade. he was in 5th..
i was afraid..my dad told me to handle it but better not hear that i started anything...i handled it and never allowed myself to get bullied again.

i dont ever want to hear that my daughter was a bully to someone or started a fight....not ever....i also dont ever want to hear that she has been being abused in school by some asshole kid.....

my wife and i have these conversations already...how to handle it if/when it happens...

you have to nip it in the bud.....kids can be very, very cruel and i will not allow my daughter to treat people like that but i also will not allow her to be abused....if she cant or wont stand up for herself in a situation like that then she will be pulled out of that school with the quickness.....bottom line.....


i remember when my brother was in 10th grade....he was getting physically abused by this one kid all the time...he was very scared of this kid...i said the same thing i said in this thread...i told him to smash his face and he will be left alone after that...
after about 2 months of pretty hardcore abuse, he took my advice and ruined this kid on front of everyone...i guess he just got fed up. that was the last time he was ever bullied....
sometimes that is what is needed......

sometimes, violence is the answer. believe me, i wish it was not that way but it is....

there are personal boundries that need to be respected.....if not, you face what happens....

i have always felt that way and have never, ever been a bully.....

i get very emotional even now when i see/hear about the 'fat kid' or the 'ugly kid' getting bullied....it sucks and i feel terrible for these kids.......

a reply to: OpinionatedB

That's the question we are asking what has happened to our society where threats.of physical sexual violence against women, is seen as an expression of free speech, and that when we protest against if, express.how disgusting it is, we're called weak.

a reply to: WilsonWilson

No, actually it does not effect your in your western societies. No way does it effect YOUR freedom - your laws - YOUR religion!

You can pretend to care all you want... but going around killing millions of innocent people - most are women and children - really shows the lie about how much you care.

DON't dare use a Muslim woman in your arguments.

And if you want, as women, you CAN stand up to men in western countries. YOU... not someone else.. YOU. And stand up to whatever that reality is for that particular person.

My daughter was in the park with some friends one time, when she was about 14. One of the older boys drove up in his truck with some of his friends, and made "offensive" comments to them.

My daughter, 100 pounds soaking wet and 5'2" tall... walked up to their truck, mind you this boy was 6 foot tall and in sports. But he had not gotten out of his truck. So my daughter walked up, sweet as pie, and smiled at them. Then, she reached in through the window, grabbed him by the back of his head, and smashed his face into the steering wheel.

He got his nose broke. And his grandmother later brought him and he provided an apology to my daughter and her friends for being "offensive"

THAT is how you meet offensive head on... and it teaches a lesson about being rude.

Better a lesson learned, than a lifetime of offensiveness.

That is the strength of women... real strength.