Why does everyone mysteriously hate/dislike me for no reason? Is the shadow gov behind it?

Millions
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

I see your post has had a good response, and probably everything has been covered. I just had a couple of points though :

1) Its tough for anyone to make real, long-term friends online. I wouldn't read much into this.

2) As a guy, I would say its pretty common for other guys to ignore a girl after a date..... and after they get, uhm, you know... 'what they want.' Its #ty, shallow behaviour, but I see it all the time. So again, I wouldn't read too much into this.

3) If someone is feeling shy, paranoid or lacking in confidence, it has a big impact on their body language and manner. This can often come across as being cold or unapproachable. At least this issue, once identified, should be relatively easy to address.

4) You're obviously a smart girl. So you'll probably have more in common with your fellow students than with the local morons hanging around in the park with their bottles of cheap booze, or working in a dead-end job. Find people that share your interests and sense of humour.

5) Forget all the conspiracy theories. Enjoy this site, but in your case, I think you've just had a bad time of it, so are drawing illogical conclusions. (ie- see my points 1 and 2 above).

6) A bad experience like yours can act like a negative feedback, self fulfilling prophecy (small social circle = low confidence + unhappiness = seeming as if you are unapproachable = less friends = staying at home more = smaller social circle.... and so on). So force yourself to get out there. Join clubs and student groups where you will meet people with shared interests. Go out to student events and meetings. Spend good family time. Do things that will make you feel good about yourself.

I hope you are okay - especially at this time of year!

Thank you for your reply, but I have a question how hard and for how long should I try this club/volunteering/trying to socialize before I quit? I mean it seems like a waste of time to keep trying to socialize, always to end up the same way.

And after I reach my 50th milestone ("friends" who stop replying) which I am fast approaching, should I finally give up? I think so.

I ignore a lot of people. Sorry if you happened to be one of them but you're probably not.
I got 5 friend requests on Face book that I never responded to and that was months ago. I ignored them.
I never wanted to get on Face book and usually only get on there to show an older relative without a pc, pics of other family members vacation pics etc. I didn't want to become everyone's friend. I still do not care to see all these likes of links and pics some relatives share. If I wanted to get nasty, I could go on some adult sites and start liking a bunch of stuff and see how they like it. They would probably just block me or unfriend me.

I ignore all phone calls for the most part unless it's from someone I know. I have caller ID now. I like that. It makes it easy to ignore everyone.

While on facebook the other day, I saw an ad that made me think it was a message from someone. Nope. Just a stupid dating site ad. I got curious and got on it looking around. 4 or 5 females sent me messages. I saw them but the stupid site blocked me from seeing the messages unless I paid a small fee for a 3 day trial. Forget that. I was just curious. I ignored about 4 or 5 more people sending messages. I could not read them and I did not want to pay money to sign up for a trial. Sorry if you were one of those people. I can't always tell if someone knows the other person can't even read their message. It was blocked. On some sites I got on for free but could never send a reply back. Yep, the site wanted money to reply to someone. I didn't want to pay money to reply to some stranger.

I go around ignoring people all the time and have gotten used to it. I don't mean any harm.

As far as your problem with people or guys getting turned off from you for one reason or another, I would have to get to know you a little bit to know what the issue was. I do not always go facebook every week nor do I always get on this site every week. In fact sometimes it can be several weeks. I even didn't see a message from one of my sisters on facebook for about 4 months. She called and asked about it. I use facebook but I don't really like it. I'm just giving a different perspective from someone who does a lot of ignoring. It's not necessarily something against the people we ignore.

If you get addicted to an online game, I heard some guys had their girlfriends threaten to leave them because they were spending all their time playing the game. Did they drop out of the game? No.

michael1888 I came across this on another thread, "Here is the point - the things you inherently seek are products of love, not hate. By embracing the negativity, you are sabotaging yourself and your possibilities for happiness, but safeguarding your psyche with excuses to continue down dark paths. " Very true, but it is hard to change.

reply to post by wutdouthink


If you find truth in this, then you already know what you must change.
No matter how hard it is to change, it isn't as hard as living in self-made exile.

you said you're not comfortable talking about what interests you so you talk about movies etc. Maybe its that different level where you're really at that the people sense subliminally and they aren't comfortable with. Meaning simply that they don't get you and never could and that turns them away.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Inthis day and age with social media, I would say it would be challenging for a person home schooled, people in the work place just want to do their job and go home, many people have already made long term relationships, being the new gal is a difficult position to be in.

You will only have a few true friends in this world, you need to meet people outside of work and school.

It will happen for you.

reply to post by wutdouthink


If you want to make friends, you do it as long as it takes for you to get to know people and make friends. If you choose activities and clubs relating to things you have an interest in, you might actually discover that you are enjoying yourself and keep going just because of that.

I had next to no friends in high school and yet I did just about as many activities as I could. I lived in a highly cliquish town and knew I was stuck in my social pigeon hole, but I also enjoyed doing the things I did. So, I said "Screw it!" and went and did the things that interested me no matter what the others thought. I did debate, forensics, scholar's bowl, Science Olympiad, played basketball, ran track and field, participated in plays and musicals, marched in band, went to off campus lectures, etc. There were weeks when I was lucky to attend more than one or two full days of class.

No, I don't have many close friends from high school, but I learned enough about people that I was able to get along with and enjoy hanging out with the various groups at different activities. I also got recruited and got a large chunk of my college paid for because I found something I was really good at. I also learned a lot about myself and self-confidence.

Could be many things, but overall I think you're just a misfit who hasn't found the right approach for the groups/individuals that you've approached so far.

Check your U2U's (the white envelope symbol in the upper right of the site) .

reply to post by wutdouthink

wutdouthink
I have heard this question come up multiple times. Actually I have tried to befriend many many many different types of people from all around the world (threw different websites) (China, Korea, Australia, Brazil, Canada and everywhere in between). All of them behave the same way.

And in real life I have tried to hang with different kinds of people in different groups they all end the same way.

And I don't think I come off as needy, in fact recently when I don't get a reply, I never ever send another text to them again because I am pissed. For example I sent a facebook message to a guy 4 days ago. Have I gotten a reply? No. But I know he is online because he has posted stuff on his wall and commented on the people who commented. And I have not sent him a message since. How do you guys expect me to feel?

Remember, I don't have all the details; only have what you make public to me, so if I come across as harsh, very rarely do I actually mean to be that harsh.

I've been friends with people from different walks of life as well - There are still a couple penpals from China, Australia, and France that I keep in touch with every couple months. Going back to you though, the guy is probably not responding because what he's doing is clicking to read the message (once you click on the message in facebook, it no longer show's up as a new message), and then is getting distracted, so he forgets to send a reply.

Seeing as my last bit didn't help as much as I intended - I'm going to have to second Galadriel's advice directly below mine, in that forget about meeting new people for the moment, and work on doing things you like and enjoy. IE: Sign up for a "further education" class, take a vacation for yourself to somewhere that is fairly popular with a younger crowd (somewhere like Chicago), or even do volunteer work.

-fossilera

PS: Getting feedback from someone is never a bad idea either; you may scoff at it now, but it's helped in quite a few ways. The first question I always ask a new potential friend, if they don't seem to be interested is what was the scariest, awkward, or most boring thing they saw about me. Then, I ask them for one good thing that they noticed.

Also, I have one more guy in my repertoire. He is the last one that is still responsive to my messages/texts. How long do you give it before he becomes unresponsive? I bet 30 days max. See what I mean, it is simply depressing knowing my fate before it happens.

reply to post by wutdouthink


You do realize you just shot yourself in your own foot again, don't you?
Most of your responses concern 'boys', so I wonder if being home schooled has slowed your social development in that area.
Not trying to be mean, but you come across as a boy-crazy 13 year old. That's a sure-fire way to scare any and all prospects off!
If that doesn't do it, your defeatist attitude surely will.
You can not find happiness in another human being; happiness comes from within. Once you find what makes YOU happy in life, then you will have happiness to share with others.

wutdouthink
I would like to thank everyone for being friendly and helpful

I bet if I added them on facebook, the same pattern would happen within 60 days

Hahaha..... challenge accepted! Add me on Facebook. I reckon I can last at least 3 months. Us Scots are made of sterner stuff.

Just one other thing I forgot to mention in my last post - if someone is feeling depressed and anxious, they can (without realising it) send out signals to others to back off and stay away. I don't know if that's relevant.

I'd have to imagine the home schooling had an impact though. You missed out on a lot of social interaction. So best get out there now - you have some catching up to do!

Maybe your just weird..I'm being serious..not being mean. I mean who has no friends and automatically thinks it is the governments doing..

You most likely brought up something and they thought...holy crap she's weird or crazy.

Try not discuss certain subjects with people until you get to know them better.

I keep forgetting to check U2's on here. I bet sometimes it is months before I check messages.

That means I could easily beat most people's records. I could respond once every couple of months for a whole year easy.

It's not that hard to get friendly acquaintances online. Just find someone who you naturally tend to agree with having similar views on different topics.

I was a bit anti-social at times in school but I ended up with my own group of friends. Friends come and go. Some stay around much longer and those can be rare. I had friends from over 15 years ago I used to see every day that I have not spoken to in years. We moved apart and lost contact.

One of those reasons might seem petty. One of those friends lived in a roach infested trailer and when he suggested one time about coming to visit me, I imagined he would not be traveling alone. I hate bugs. I could barely stand to stay inside his trailer the last time I was there. I saw bugs crawling up the wall with his lights on. Then one on the floor, then one in the kitchen. I got out of there and lost contact with him. He was very friendly. I just did not want him to visit. Hopefully you do not live with a bunch of bugs.

OP.....You may be intellectually ahead of others, but socially you are behind. ....you said you only talk about regular stuff like movies etc....we'll....maybe you need to talk about what you really like, and What really interest you...stop making yourself average. People get bored with average....Let that light inside of you shine out!!!! ....and keep in mind...just because you think you are not needy doesn't mean your not. What you think, and what others perceive are two different things. It's all in the approach and perception.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Seems you and michael1888 should hit it off together. Seems your both from California and have more in common then just sign up at ATS together but also the Plenty of Fish dating site.

That introduction thread kind of shows you are one in the same if not partners in some thing.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Dishonesty is a good way to have no friends.


I thought ATS added a way to track IPs to get rid of the Sockpupets?

I guess even ATS gets hit with the propaganda.
I guess this is to suggest to people to look out for those people out there who might be depressed over the Holiday Seasons. They could have just made a thread about that then scammed the star and flag to put it on the front page? But there is nothing like a good story though. Carry on. Nothing to see here sheeple.

reply to post by DonVoigt

The reason I say great suggestion to those reading suggestions, is because not only did I learn a lot about myself and other people , but I learned a lot about human nature in general, as some other posters pointed out in this thread, there are many different reasons that many different people have difficulty in the social arena, the social arena, always came easy to me, but learning specifics of human nature like that can improve MANY aspects of a person's life. Social , business, family. Anything that can improve any aspect of a person's life is a good thing.

And I absolutely agree with you.
I was just fool'n about, but to my credit I'm really
a master at bringing people out of there shell.
I don't think anyone needs to walk around feeling
outcast or weighed down by inhibitions.
Perhaps I was insensitive.

JBA2848
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

Seems you and michael1888 should hit it off together. Seems your both from California and have more in common then just sign up at ATS together but also the Plenty of Fish dating site.

That introduction thread kind of shows you are one in the same if not partners in some thing.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Dishonesty is a good way to have no friends.

I thought ATS added a way to track IPs to get rid of the Sockpupets?

I guess even ATS gets hit with the propaganda.
I guess this is to suggest to people to look out for those people out there who might be depressed over the Holiday Seasons. They could have just made a thread about that then scammed the star and flag to put it on the front page? But there is nothing like a good story though. Carry on. Nothing to see here sheeple.

edit on 30-12-2013 by JBA2848 because: (no reason given)

What are you talking about? And I am certainly not from California, in fact my ip address should prove that. And I am not on the plenty of fish dating site. Would you mind explaining how you came to that conclusion?

reply to post by wutdouthink


Your screen name pops up there with the other guy. The same one you chatted with to get your twenty post to start a thread. And you two even seemed to have a mix up with posting comments to the wrong person. Something that is common with people who use sockpupets to create multiple accounts. Not sure if you know what a sockpupet is but being on ATS you will find out I am sure over time.

Tell you the truth Mc Kinsey and Company is what this sounds like to me. NSA front that puts CEOs in positions of power. This case would fall under Chelsea Clinton and her many Boards and CEO positions. Her thing is dating sites and so on. She runs the parent company of this and sits on the board.

en.wikipedia.org...(company)

en.wikipedia.org...

JBA2848
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

Your screen name pops up there with the other guy. The same one you chatted with to get your twenty post to start a thread. And you two even seemed to have a mix up with posting comments to the wrong person. Something that is common with people who use sockpupets to create multiple accounts. Not sure if you know what a sockpupet is but being on ATS you will find out I am sure over time.

Well I assure you he is not my sockpuppet, you better have strong evidence before you go accusing people of doing that.

1) Why don't you ask an admin if our ip addreses are the same?
2) Why do you think we are from california?
3) Can you post a link to this "plenty of fish" dating site?
4) And can you post our "mix up" please?

Tell you the truth Mc Kinsey and Company is what this sounds like to me. NSA front that puts CEOs in positions of power. This case would fall under Chelsea Clinton and her many Boards and CEO positions. Her thing is dating sites and so on. She runs the parent company of this and sits on the board.

That makes no sense whatsoever.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Mix up posting in the other thread.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Dating website wihich seems to tie you two together.
www.pof.com...

Pictures from the two profiles there.

pics.pof.com...

pics.pof.com...

JBA2848
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

Mix up posting in the other thread.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Dating website wihich seems to tie you two together.
www.pof.com...

Pictures from the two profiles there.

pics.pof.com...

pics.pof.com...

And can you please explain how those pictures link us together?