Why does everyone mysteriously hate/dislike me for no reason? Is the shadow gov behind it?

reply to post by wutdouthink


I read you try to be nice, but also, very importantly, you didn't say YOU were interested in someone else. You say you want a relationship, but are you interested in others?

My ex was a bright girl, always having good notes at school. But she doesn't connect with anyone, because she is never interested in others. But she is mightily interested in herself, and how anything and everything COULD affect her, in a way or another. Other people are props that she feels she has the right to treat as she wants.
And she's the best thing since sliced bread.

The problem is that seeing someone i front of you that do not listen or care for you is hard, you say so yourself, but you have to show interest in others first.

PS: I read a bit more into the thread, and you say you don't care about other girls. So YOU alienate 50% of humanity from yourself, and wonder why the other 50% is suspicious?
My mom and sister are girls too. Will you ignore them if we are a couple? Probably not. But you would probably be faking your interest in them. And that always show.

I hope you find the answers you seek, and manage to deal with them.

On that, happy New Year everyone!

michael1888
I came across this on another thread, "Here is the point - the things you inherently seek are products of love, not hate. By embracing the negativity, you are sabotaging yourself and your possibilities for happiness, but safeguarding your psyche with excuses to continue down dark paths. "

Very true, but it is hard to change.

reply to post by wutdouthink





You should point the finger inward and try some self reflection. Many people dislike needy people like for example posting on a web form about how everyone hates you.



I know it is harsh but it is the truth. If everyone around you dislikes you then the problem is with......YOU. Water will follow the path of least resistance.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Change is easy it just takes a little courage to try.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

I know you said your no longer religious but that first part is what is important.

accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

reply to post by wutdouthink


I'm less inclined to believe that it's the government, and more inclined it's that type of people you are calling "friends".

For example, back in high school (I'm in my twenties as well, but man, did saying that make me feel old), I was in the band. All the people I considered my friends were in there, and there were also quite a few others that were not. At the time, there were maybe 50 contacts total I considered "friends".

Now, as soon as senior year let out, you know how many of those friends actually were friends? About 15 total; everyone would go out and do something with everyone else, and any parties that I was invited to came through a second source (aka, one of the 15 that was going). Now, the 15 mentioned above always came to me to invite me to their parties and events, which is what a true friend does.

And don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you are trying a little too hard to make friends - There's a significant difference between being friendly all the time and being considered "too" friendly. For example, asking someone if they want to skype is like asking someone to have a phone call - most of the time, they won't respond because it's awkward skyping someone that isn't family or a significant other. Also, by not responding, most people feel it's the "easy way" of saying "no". Or, sometimes they are busy, and not always checking messages - I barely check my FB ones as it is .

When making friends, the last thing you want to come across is as "needy" - Same goes for when dating. IE: One of the warning signs that makes me consider jumping ship is when I get bombarded by emails and texts because I didn't respond right away - One of my ex's in the past did this, and obviously, we aren't together anymore. What I recommend is leaving one email/phone call/reply, and try to summarize what you want to say in a 5-6 sentence paragraph or less. If they reply, then great, and if not, forget them.

The short answer: The reason why you are seeing a pattern is because you are most likely trying to get the same type of people to "like" you, instead of letting the process happen naturally. By not fighting, and not losing hope, you should meet a couple people that will become friends eventually (just for your info, all those people on facebook that have 500-1000 friends? Bet the person only communicates with 5 percent of them). And, friends are usually those that like the same topics as yourself.

-fossilera

I have read through every response here. Some are appalling, some are funny, some meant well but really aren't helpful, some are really supportive and insightful.

First, I APPLAUD you for being as honest as you have been and for reaching out. You have not responded in anger or hurt to some of the posts that are borderline rude. Shows character.

I have a kid who is probably your age. For those who aren't in your generation and perhaps don't have kids the same age as you -- well they may not realize how many young people are these days vs. when they (we) were young. Relationships are tough. Many of my son's "friends" as he was a teen and into young adulthood were really not friends - just buddies. When the going would get rough, they'd scatter. They'd lie about one another, steal from one another, steal girlfriends, and so forth. The girls were even worse. So-called "friends" would backstab, gossip, fight, and bully one another on social media and in person. Friends became enemies, frenemies and friends again.

They also seemed very materialistic, shallow in many ways, void of direction and goals, without core values or ethics. It was interesting and very sad for me to see so many young people in our suburban neighborhood so lost, so narcissistic (spelling?) and outer focused.

Being home-schooled, you had advantages and disadvantages. It is what it is.

My son has held several "minimum wage" jobs that teens/young people have - like fast food, retail, etc. He has come home with stories about his coworkers and bosses that make my hair curl. People can be downright mean, gossipy, nasty for no good reason. If there's anything "different" about you, you can stand out and people can react.

But I'm not telling you to blend in. Quite the opposite. What the world needs more of is authentic people, interacting authentically, and being kind, compassionate and helpful (not "nice"; there's a difference).

My advice, for what it's worth, is that you stop trying to make friends, stop worrying about making friends, stop worrying about conspiracies related to you specifically, and invest time and energy in becoming the best you that you can be. Figure out who you are, what you are passionate about, what legacy you want to leave in this world, what your dreams, goals and plans are -- and set about to make that happen -- leaving some room for some wonderful surprises along the way (and yes, a few not so great things may happen too).

Be yourself. Be kind, compassionate. Be friendly. Be a friend. But have a point of view, learn to become assertive (not aggressive, not passive). Not everyone will like that "you" - but that doesn't matter. You will like that "you" and you will draw into your life those who resonate with that "you." You don't need to have tons of friends. You need to have a few really good ones, who like and respect you and vice versa -- that you can have fun with. If one of those is a guy and it turns from friendship to romance -- all the better (but you have plenty of time to find a guy).

Asperberger's spectrum could be a possible answer. Look into it. There are more folks on this spectrum than everyone would believe. But don't let a label define you, just let it help you understand things better. Could be lack of inner confidence showing.

Like many here, I'd say join clubs and organizations and causes that make your heart sing, and you'll find others who resonate with you. Perhaps if finances allow, go to a counselor to get a different perspective. Don't worry about "online" friends (except for us on ATS!!!!! - kidding ) for now. Real live friends to go hiking with, to a movie, or to study with will be much more fun than words on a screen.

Most of all, take or leave the advice in this thread as you see fit. Best of luck moving forward.

reply to post by wutdouthink


Did you talk to them about MKULTRA HAARP or elf?

Or the multi universe theory?

fossilera
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

I'm less inclined to believe that it's the government, and more inclined it's that type of people you are calling "friends".

For example, back in high school (I'm in my twenties as well, but man, did saying that make me feel old), I was in the band. All the people I considered my friends were in there, and there were also quite a few others that were not. At the time, there were maybe 50 contacts total I considered "friends".

Now, as soon as senior year let out, you know how many of those friends actually were friends? About 15 total; everyone would go out and do something with everyone else, and any parties that I was invited to came through a second source (aka, one of the 15 that was going). Now, the 15 mentioned above always came to me to invite me to their parties and events, which is what a true friend does.

And don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you are trying a little too hard to make friends - There's a significant difference between being friendly all the time and being considered "too" friendly. For example, asking someone if they want to skype is like asking someone to have a phone call - most of the time, they won't respond because it's awkward skyping someone that isn't family or a significant other. Also, by not responding, most people feel it's the "easy way" of saying "no". Or, sometimes they are busy, and not always checking messages - I barely check my FB ones as it is

.

When making friends, the last thing you want to come across is as "needy" - Same goes for when dating. IE: One of the warning signs that makes me consider jumping ship is when I get bombarded by emails and texts because I didn't respond right away - One of my ex's in the past did this, and obviously, we aren't together anymore. What I recommend is leaving one email/phone call/reply, and try to summarize what you want to say in a 5-6 sentence paragraph or less. If they reply, then great, and if not, forget them.

The short answer: The reason why you are seeing a pattern is because you are most likely trying to get the same type of people to "like" you, instead of letting the process happen naturally. By not fighting, and not losing hope, you should meet a couple people that will become friends eventually (just for your info, all those people on facebook that have 500-1000 friends? Bet the person only communicates with 5 percent of them). And, friends are usually those that like the same topics as yourself.

-fossilera

edit on 30/12/2013 by fossilera because: gah, spelling mistake - one word in the entire post...

I have heard this question come up multiple times. Actually I have tried to befriend many many many different types of people from all around the world (threw different websites) (China, Korea, Australia, Brazil, Canada and everywhere in between). All of them behave the same way.

And in real life I have tried to hang with different kinds of people in different groups they all end the same way.

And I don't think I come off as needy, in fact recently when I don't get a reply, I never ever send another text to them again because I am pissed. For example I sent a facebook message to a guy 4 days ago. Have I gotten a reply? No. But I know he is online because he has posted stuff on his wall and commented on the people who commented. And I have not sent him a message since. How do you guys expect me to feel?

Stormdancer777
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

Did you talk to them about MKULTRA HAARP or elf?

Or the multi universe theory?

edit on 083131p://bMonday2014 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)

edit on 083131p://bMonday2014 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)

No, in fact I don't ever talk about religion or politics.

Galadriel
I have read through every response here. Some are appalling, some are funny, some meant well but really aren't helpful, some are really supportive and insightful.

First, I APPLAUD you for being as honest as you have been and for reaching out. You have not responded in anger or hurt to some of the posts that are borderline rude. Shows character.

I have a kid who is probably your age. For those who aren't in your generation and perhaps don't have kids the same age as you -- well they may not realize how many young people are these days vs. when they (we) were young. Relationships are tough. Many of my son's "friends" as he was a teen and into young adulthood were really not friends - just buddies. When the going would get rough, they'd scatter. They'd lie about one another, steal from one another, steal girlfriends, and so forth. The girls were even worse. So-called "friends" would backstab, gossip, fight, and bully one another on social media and in person. Friends became enemies, frenemies and friends again.

They also seemed very materialistic, shallow in many ways, void of direction and goals, without core values or ethics. It was interesting and very sad for me to see so many young people in our suburban neighborhood so lost, so narcissistic (spelling?) and outer focused.

Being home-schooled, you had advantages and disadvantages. It is what it is.

My son has held several "minimum wage" jobs that teens/young people have - like fast food, retail, etc. He has come home with stories about his coworkers and bosses that make my hair curl. People can be downright mean, gossipy, nasty for no good reason. If there's anything "different" about you, you can stand out and people can react.

But I'm not telling you to blend in. Quite the opposite. What the world needs more of is authentic people, interacting authentically, and being kind, compassionate and helpful (not "nice"; there's a difference).

My advice, for what it's worth, is that you stop trying to make friends, stop worrying about making friends, stop worrying about conspiracies related to you specifically, and invest time and energy in becoming the best you that you can be. Figure out who you are, what you are passionate about, what legacy you want to leave in this world, what your dreams, goals and plans are -- and set about to make that happen -- leaving some room for some wonderful surprises along the way (and yes, a few not so great things may happen too).

Be yourself. Be kind, compassionate. Be friendly. Be a friend. But have a point of view, learn to become assertive (not aggressive, not passive). Not everyone will like that "you" - but that doesn't matter. You will like that "you" and you will draw into your life those who resonate with that "you." You don't need to have tons of friends. You need to have a few really good ones, who like and respect you and vice versa -- that you can have fun with. If one of those is a guy and it turns from friendship to romance -- all the better (but you have plenty of time to find a guy).

Asperberger's spectrum could be a possible answer. Look into it. There are more folks on this spectrum than everyone would believe. But don't let a label define you, just let it help you understand things better. Could be lack of inner confidence showing.

Like many here, I'd say join clubs and organizations and causes that make your heart sing, and you'll find others who resonate with you. Perhaps if finances allow, go to a counselor to get a different perspective. Don't worry about "online" friends (except for us on ATS!!!!! - kidding

) for now. Real live friends to go hiking with, to a movie, or to study with will be much more fun than words on a screen.

Most of all, take or leave the advice in this thread as you see fit. Best of luck moving forward.

Thanks for the kind words and I agree with a lot of what you say.

reply to post by wutdouthink


What do you talk about and what are your interest. ?

Also, I have one more guy in my repertoire. He is the last one that is still responsive to my messages/texts. How long do you give it before he becomes unresponsive? I bet 30 days max.

See what I mean, it is simply depressing knowing my fate before it happens.

Stormdancer777
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

What do you talk about and what are your interest. ?

Pretty much just where the conversation flows, and my interests are pretty much nothing I would feel comfortable talking about so I typically just talk about normal stuff (movies, etc).

reply to post by wutdouthink


The thing that stands out for me is in your thread title you seem to think everone hates you.
That's a very strong statment.

I wonder if on a subconscious level you are sending out these signals, they pick up on but don't really understand what they are sensing.

BTW, I am usually drawn to people other people don't like.

Stormdancer777
reply to post by wutdouthink

 

The thing that stands out for me it in your thread title you seem to think everone hates you.
That's a very strong statment.

I wonder if on a subconscious level you are sending out these signals, they pick up on but don't really understand what they are sensing.

No I don't think so because every time I begin a new "friendship" I always am pretty much 100% optimistic that "this time it will work". But since my last disappointment it has left me pretty depressed.

I mean come on, not even a simply reply saying "I don't like you anymore go away" would be better then just ignoring me and talking to everyone else. I mean does he not know his crap comes up in my news feed?

Stormdancer777
BTW, I am usually drawn to people other people don't like.

That's good so I guess you would like me then lol

reply to post by wutdouthink


I see your post has had a good response, and probably everything has been covered. I just had a couple of points though :

1) Its tough for anyone to make real, long-term friends online. I wouldn't read much into this.

2) As a guy, I would say its pretty common for other guys to ignore a girl after a date..... and after they get, uhm, you know... 'what they want.' Its #ty, shallow behaviour, but I see it all the time. So again, I wouldn't read too much into this.

3) If someone is feeling shy, paranoid or lacking in confidence, it has a big impact on their body language and manner. This can often come across as being cold or unapproachable. At least this issue, once identified, should be relatively easy to address.

4) You're obviously a smart girl. So you'll probably have more in common with your fellow students than with the local morons hanging around in the park with their bottles of cheap booze, or working in a dead-end job. Find people that share your interests and sense of humour.

5) Forget all the conspiracy theories. Enjoy this site, but in your case, I think you've just had a bad time of it, so are drawing illogical conclusions. (ie- see my points 1 and 2 above).

6) A bad experience like yours can act like a negative feedback, self fulfilling prophecy (small social circle = low confidence + unhappiness = seeming as if you are unapproachable = less friends = staying at home more = smaller social circle.... and so on). So force yourself to get out there. Join clubs and student groups where you will meet people with shared interests. Go out to student events and meetings. Spend good family time. Do things that will make you feel good about yourself.

I hope you are okay - especially at this time of year!

reply to post by wutdouthink


I suggest you stop obsessing over facebook.


I may have an account, but I stopped visiting it long ago. I mainly keep it to use the plug-in for commenting on things around the wild and wooly Internet. It was eating up too much of my life.

These things are going to seem far more agonizing if you spend all your time worrying over them. I suggest you take a step back and just relax and go with the flow. Let it happen if it's going to and stop trying to make it work if it's not headed there.

If you are determined to make things work via social media, just work on establishing a voice for yourself. Work on becoming part of the crowd without targeting anyone. Always keep in mind, of course, that the Internet is like having a conversation in a crowded room and not nearly as anonymous and a lot of people like to think, so don't ever say (or post) anything you wouldn't necessarily say to someone's face.

And just establish yourself.

Well it is everyone that ignores, boys and girls. I just don't see the point in wasting time with girls.

That's part of your problem. You should take a class or something that encourages team or partner participation. I would like to note that I have seen social issues with many home schooled children. It's important to keep homeschooled children involved in activities such as sports and drama so that children don't become anti-social. Get involved with drama in your college and change your attitude. Volunteer or something.