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Originally posted by llmacgregor
Hey guys, this isn't something I am particularly proud of, so hold back your insults and unconstructive criticisim please.
I believe I have become an alcoholic. It has effected my job, love life, social life, health, and mental health, among other things.
I have an alcoholism history in my family and I'm afraid I have inherited it..... unfortunately. in the past year it has gotten worse than ever, my cravings are getting stronger, and the amount I drink is increasing. I will go a week or so without drinking, but then I find a trigger and I binge for four or five days drinking no less than a 12 pack every day. then I catch myself and quit for another week or so, in that time I commonly attend AA meetings. but I always seem to find myself drinking again after being triggered by almost anything really, mostly stress I have to say. it has become an addiction I am sorry to say. I thought I was stronger than this but I guess I'm not.
So I have come here to ask any of you how you cope with this, because I know I'm not alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have the desire to quit, but I didn't think it would be this difficult.
Originally posted by JeffreyCH
One thing I see here is that you feel you failed because you drink, that in itself can make it worse. A few others have touched on this, looking at the reason you drink, I don't mean the little surface things that trigger a binge. Like you at one point my drinking progressed, went from a 6pk and a couple shots to eventually a quart of vodka a night. That's when things started slipping for me, I woke up feeling like cr@p everyday, my job performance was going downhill, and the last straw was a DUI. I was court ordered to AA and counseling, I hated it, maybe because I have issues with authority and HAD to be there, I don't know, just couldn't handle it at all. I violated my probation on purpose after about 3 months, 30 days in jail was way better to me then 2 years of listening to everyone tell me how screwed up I was. It was like the more they would talk about it, the more I wanted to drink. While I was in jail, I had a very deep long talk with myself, once I came to the conclusion that quitting wasn't an option, I set some very hard rules for myself.
1. never start drinking at the beginning of the day
2. never ever under any circumstances get behind the wheel
3. if things are stressful don't drink, use a clear mind to work through the stress, if something is messed up in your life it doesn't matter how long you stay drunk it will still be there and probably be worse. This one is very important, because it can cause an endless loop that progresses your drinking. Let's say it's a bad day at work, you come home stressed out and start drinking. Sure it goes away for a few hours, but you didn't really deal with it, so it's still there the next day, but it's worse. It's like a snowball rolling downhill just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Instead, get home, and think through what it was that stressed you out, formulate a plan to avoid/alleviate that stress the next day.
4. don't get blackout drunk, I use alcohol to relax, not forget anything
5. Don't let it control you, you control how much, when, and where you drink.
6. Don't stockpile alcohol. It may be cheaper to grab a case and say it will last 4 days, but it won't. I drink till the booze is gone so I grab a 6pk and 2 airline sized bottles of bourbon every night on my way home from work.
I have those days when a 6 and a couple shots don't do it for me also. I'm one of those people that after a hard days work I have a hard time coming down from it. On those occasions I'll walk a mile to the store, get 1 beer and 1 shot, that walk plus the night cap always does me in. This is what's worked for me for the better part of 20 years, however it may not work for you.edit on 29-5-2013 by JeffreyCH because: (no reason given)