I am extremely reluctant to post this. Specifically wondering if anyone else has seen this.

Originally posted by CornShucker

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus
Now, I listen to death metal. I always have. When I was a christian, I listened to Christian death metal. My father, who was very open-minded about music, refused to allow me to play it around him because "they sound exactly like that" and he alluded that he too had these experiences, but never spoke about them.

That is something I wondered about... See, now you can add the fact that it may be generational to your toolbox/arsenal. Just as someone who is genetically disposed to a disease or addiction, it helps to know what to avoid. I have faith that as you work through whatever feedback you get here and do on your own, eventually you will win this fight. Knowing it is a family thing should free you of any thoughts that it is something that you brought on. Now the heavy lifting will be to drive it out of your Life.

Christopher Hitchens was an atheist's atheist but, when fighting throat cancer, he didn't dissuade anyone from saying a prayer for him if it made them feel better because he appreciated the intent. (Sadly, there were many Christians who gloated on his terminal condition but that's another thread.)

If I say I'll keep you in my prayers, it's meant only in the good way...

Intent is more significant than meaning.

But intercessory prayer has been proven detrimental to people in surgery. Just a thought.

Originally posted by FreedomCommander
reply to post by DarwinVsJesus

 

Non-human features, grim-like, wide-smile with slit eyes. Sounds more like Shadow. But Shadow isn't just one person, it is many people.

Had a couple encounters, but mainly ones that run by me in the corner of my eye. It's one of those you see movement and then it's gone.

But in your case, full-body Shadow, they are nasty beings. Outcasts, are the proper term for them.

Going off your first post, OP, he/it said that "I won't let you have your memories back." Not to sound rude, but did you let him? I mean, if you let him, he'll take them, that is the purpose of the Outcasts, give people resistance.

However, there is a catch. The more you fear, the more resistance. The more resistance, the more fear. So, what do you do? Suggestion, stop the fear. This Shadow has the power to do all kinds of things to your body, but you have the power to crush his ideas/intentions.

Next step?

I didn't even know what he meant at the time. I still don't know for sure. I know I have lost quite a bit.

Originally posted by 3n19m470
My post will focus on the message that may or may not have come from a spirit guide.

"What can you learn from pure evil?"

Because I think that, wherever this message came from, it holds the key to your situation.

First of all, you should simply research that question on the internet. Just do a search, and maybe try a search leaving out the "pure" just to simplify it for the search engine.

Some people have very valid and interesting questions regarding the concepts of God, the Devil, good and evil. Some people wonder, if god is good and loves us, then why did he create the devil or create evil or make the devil be evil? Why does god allow natural disasters where hundreds of people or thousands of people die?

Well... One possible answer is that it makes us learn. Child molestation compells us to study psychiatry to find the reasons for it. Tsunamis and Volcanoes required us to learn geology. Hurricanes, the weather. Many discoveries were made accidentally while studying something completely different.

If we are to survive, we MUST LEARN! Our planet will not last forever... And space is like one ultimete natural disaster that mated with the world's most evil mastermind criminal and had a baby... So all this evil and disasters is preparing us for what we will encounter "out there". We will encounter crazy space weather, so our knowledge of physics and natural disasters and medicine will come in handy. We may encounter other species. And at that time, our knowledge of psychology, morality, justice, criminals, etc, will come in handy when evaluating their potential intentions and moral compass.

That's one explanation that could apply to humanity as a whole.

I tend to think this was and is a personal message for you. This is a whole different world. What can you personally learn from evil? Specifically, PURE evil. Well, you can experience something others have experienced. Maybe this has to do with you showing more empathy and being more sympathetic or tolerant towards others. This experience may be intended to show you how you sometimes made others feel. Do you have an anger/drinking/drug problem? Do you keep track of when these experiences happen? Is it always on the same anniversary? Or even the same time of year? Did they coincide with any other meaningful event in your life? Like time when you were hurt or hurt someone else? A parents divorce? A breakup? A change in career?

Was there ever a time you had an opportunity to volunteer but you chose a well paying job instead? I don't know but maybe you are meant to do something different with your life.. it seems like you need to make some change or learn some lesson... Pure evil can teach you...... How to defend yourself and defeat evil? Maybe there's an evil in your life or close to your life somehow, and you refuse to do anything to stop it, so now you are being forced to endure the evil too until you act to save this other person or people who are suffering at the hands of this evil.

Are you aware of child and or spousal abuse but have not ensured that it would stop? I'm terribly sorry to ask some of these things, but please understand I'm only trying to help. I'm not trying to make you look like a terrible person. It's just that its really easy for any one of us to fall into a state of sin without even realizing it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to all of us from time to time.

Or maybe its a personal message but not directed at your own transgressions. Maybe it is trying to make you aware of other evil going on in the world or in your general vicinity... Maybe you have a chance to make a difference.

I don't know, but I would focus on the message. Do like I advised and try googling it... Or ask it on yahoo answers. Or make a new thread on here only asking that question. You'd get some interesting answers. Goodluck

Thanks for the thought. I will look into it. I never even thought to google it

Once, in a particular state of turmoil, I asked what I should do with myself. I was told

"you're a #ing leo, goddammit. Why don't you look up what lions are like? Why don't you find out what the lion symbolizes"?

Changed my life.

so you gonna ask him his name? you really should. it would be the litmus test for you, i do believe.

Try to cam it down or record only voice,anything vould be useful,for further analysis,not just for us,for you it would mean a chance to better udnerstand it maybe.

And anything it is it must be deeply connected to you for some reason.If you find the reason why,you win.

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus

Originally posted by Spader
First of all let me say how sorry I am that you have this happen to you. I havent read all 18 pages so if this already brought up please forgive me. You mentioned that one of your sisters saw "it" or something close to it when they were dabbling in the occult. Are your sisters older than you? Could they have been using a ouija board? Because if they did, there is no telling what they let in.

Yes, they did. And yes, they are.

Ouija boards are VERY bad news.

Most mediums will not even touch them...

I cannot stress enough than to ask you DO NOT USE THIS. All this does is open up the world of dark spirits. My aunt was with a group of high school students that did this. One student died, one student went missing, and my aunty was put into a mental institution for the rest of her life. You can never close this curse once the board is in action, it will never stop and the spirits will kill, thats all they want

uthinkitsover 5 months ago Source

A girl I know CLAWED HER FACE TO PIECES after playing with a Ouiji board. She went crazy!!!!!. PLEASE guys just don't even go there. These things are bad news.

Jakki Jimms 1 month ago Source

Once you use the damn thing, you let your door open to evil spirits. A friend of mine used it a long time ago and now she's in a hospital. She starts talking about a tall black thing that watches her and talks to her. She regrets using the Ouija board.

lupster4 2 months ago Source

For those of you who want to see just how dangerous and deadly this occult device really is, I would highly recommend that you read this book: “The Ouija Board – A Doorway to the Occult”..

In this book are real, live, documented cases of people who literally drew in evil demonic spirits in their lives as a result of engaging with the ouija board – and in many of these cases, these demons actually entered into the person’s body. This device is so deadly and dangerous, that even many mediums will not try and dabble with it.

"...a 22 year old man was playing with a ouija board with his girlfriend one night. One night as they were playing with it, a ghost all of a sudden appeared to him and started to talk with him. He then left his girlfriend’s house, but the ghost followed him all the way back to his home. When he got back home, the ghost would not quit talking to him. He said he got mad and tried to tell it to leave, but it would not obey him.

He then called up one of his friends who was a Christian and she told him that it was probably a demonic spirit and that he should command it to go to the light of Jesus Christ. When she pronounces out this specific command to the demon, this particular demon leaves.

But then all of a sudden a bigger and more evil, demonic spirit now starts talking to him, but this time this spirit is now speaking to him from the inside of his body. In other words, this demonic spirit has now entered into his body and has now taken up full residence in there. From this point on, this man now has a real live demon literally living on the inside of him."

Dangers of the Ouija Board

During my former phone ministry every single harassment victim I worked with who'd ever used a Ouija Board had demonic spirits manifest (make their presence known) in the course of the deliverance session. Even when a person fails to contact a spirit through the Ouija Board, the mere act of trying invites demonic spirits into his life.

I've worked with literally hundreds of harassment victims, helping them to identify the things in their lives that have opened the doors to the demonic. In every case -- without exception -- demonic spirits have manifested in association with anything for which a power had been assigned.

Ouija Boards and Communicating with Demonic Spirits

Originally posted by JayinAR
My whole life has been filled with this sort of crap. I don't know what to make of all of it and I rarely talk about it.

I made it stop for the most part a few years back by cursing at them and threatening them

It works.

I thoroughly agree with this tactic. I had dealt with them for years, until one night my two dogs, tails between their legs, backed themselved under the dining room table while pitifully whining.

I don't know what took hold of me, or how a woman goes about forming testicles that large that quickly, but I was infuriated and screamed and yelled that if it ever pursued a loved one of mine in any attempt create havoc or fear that I'd come for them myself. They had reason to believe, because every single time one formed I saw it head-on and ran at it. Granted, I never caught one. But I'm a runner by nature.

Point being, dig deep. All I ever did was silently, fecklessly run at them. And they disappeared right before my eyes. But something about them frightening my dogs - one being the most fearless mongrel I've known - brought out a mama bear that foamed at the mouth. I had no idea until that night that when it came to protecting mine, I'd offer myself in lieu of witnessing the fear of a loved one.

Stop being afraid. I know that sounds hard. But you MUST replace the fear with anger. After all, fear is just anger without the sense of being able to remedy the situation.

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


You're "injected" with terrifying ideas, because you have not disciplined your mind. But that's natural. It's the same thing that happens when you find yourself in the middle of the wilderness having lost a trail and you're losing daylight.

When that happens, start taking deep breaths and acknowledge your thoughts for what they are: expressions of an undisciplined mind. Then, re-take control, focus, and confront.

The thought of it being under your bed, is exactly what kids think when they're terrified of creatures described in scary stories. In both their case and yours, it is an undisciplined mind running rampant. It's completely natural, but it can be tamed like a horse.

The experiences themselves are simply triggers for prolonged panic which incites these types of thoughts.

I highly doubt your history of Satanism or Christianity has anything to do with this being, simply because you have been seeing him since you were a child.

I am amazed with how much attention this thread has gained, for better and for worse.
Some people seem to be writing the most outragous things, and I don't know if I need to tell you this but take any given suggestion or advice into careful consideration before attempting anything, even mine.

I guess most people who post here wish you all the best and want to help out but I see a lot of really ignorant (stupid) things come up as well. Not very surprisingly they often originate from people with certain religious motives/agendas/convictions/brainwash symptoms, you know what I'm talking about... To them I'd just want to say: how come your beloved "redeemer" who seem so all-powerful and loving let this entitiy (possible demon) into the realm of mankind in the first place? Is he really that reliable as help, you think?

OK, so enough with the sarcasm. The sheer arrogance I've seen in this thread just had me at a choking point. Mods can censor me all they want for the love of T&C...

Like you, I have a hard time imagining that this entity has anything benign or constructive to offer you. I would not suggest trying to "befriend it" in any way. The profound impact it seems to have on your perception makes it hard to deal with head-on.
Outside help will only be effective depending on how much trust and confidence you put into it. Personally, I'd go to a shaman but that is only because I really believe one would help me but I don't know if that counts for you as well...
The most powerful force you have against it is your own soul and realizing its awesome potential. The entity that haunts you is trying to convince you to think otherwise but that doesn't make it true.

I'd suggest getting rid of any feeling of shame or regret first. Those two make you judge and punish yourself in a way that could make you "accept" this haunting as "your own fault". Drop that! You are not responsible before anyone more than yourself maybe. These feelings of guilt and shame are social constructs. I am not talking about some divine forgiveness or justification, I am talking about survival.
Stuff happen, all the time, everywhere. It's OK, I promise you. The world doesn't stand or fall with you, there are higher things in motion than your life so just take it into perspective. Downsize this sorrow you feel. Look to what is gaining and what is draining you. Rid yourself from what is hampering you, focus on what is making you get up in the morning. You have a dog, right? Focus on that- the unconditional love and loylalty, isn't it beautiful in its own objective way? That's what counts, not some bearded dude who may or may not have lived thousands of years ago (OK, sorry I am at it again I see...).

All this pep-talk almost makes myself sick but I hope you get at least the gist of what I am saying.
I really hope you can expell this demon of yours. I've seen people I love stumble at the edge of the abyss. Some of them fall and never come up. But others, they manage to bounce back against all odds!
If they can, and trust me there was nothing "special" about them, so can you!

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


If you feel there's physically something in the room, why don't you set up some sort of camera?
If you have the ability to, you should do it. Do you have a laptop with a webcam?
This has probably been asked already, but if not please let us know the circumstances of what you can or can't do.

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus
When I was very young, [I mean young....this is the first dream I had that I remember, 2.5 or 3 years of age], I found myself in an extremely vivid and terrifying dream. I was older than 2 in the dream, and being chased by a very tall, very unpleasant looking entity with very long fingers.

Fine, just a dream.

Ever since then [next vivid occurrence was 8 years old], I had occasionally found myself wide awake in a state of extreme terror [NOT hypnogogia and NOT sleep paralysis, I am AWAKE, this # is for REAL]. Eventually I look forward and standing at the foot of my bed is an entity who I have always called(I even hesitate to type it. We don't speak these words in my home, not ever. I mean it, not ever) The grinning man. Not John Keel's GM, not a man at all. But this is what I called him/it when I was young.

The last time I saw him I woke up in total darkness. I felt like a veil was being pulled off of my face and he/it was standing right over the bed.Staring at me. He began to walk toward me and I became so frightened that I choked, gasped, and spit up. It woke up my spouse. I wouldn't tell her what I saw, but she knew immediately.

He was wearing a long black cloak the last time. I can't say if he always is. He appears to be so tall that he hunches over because my ceilings are too low for him to stand straight. He has incredibly long fingers, non-human face. His face is narrow. Big eyes, slit pupils. He always has an enormous Cheshire-cat grin on his face. From ear to ear.

There have been days when I have woken up knowing he's there, but my back is turned. Something tellls me not to turn around, don't look. I will sit there trembling for hours after the encounter. Generally these are face-to-face encounters.

He's shouted at me before. It wakes me up out of a sound sleep. i'll hear my name in a furious, angry, deep, gurgling voice.



On one occasion, I was asleep at home, before my parents split and my family was basically destroyed. I woke up because I heard this. I then heard him/it say "I won't let you have your memories back".

I didn't know what this meant until later. After my family split, I became incredibly depressed. I constantly tell people that I have no happy memories. I can't cherish the good ones because I'll never get to re-live them with my family.

I am very afraid to post this. I've been debating it for years. I am terrified of this creature/entity. I decided I had to do it; I need to know if anyone else has ever seen this entity?

I once called out to a spirit guide and asked why this creature constantly visits me like this. What I got back was the following response:

"what can you learn from pure evil?".


What the # is visiting me. I'm afraid of the dark, afraid of being home alone at night. When my spouse goes to visit her family I have to have a friend stay with me. I can't spend the night alone in my house.

Someone out there must have had a similar encounter.

My past roommate has a very similar story. I bring him up because in my previous apartment we had something we called "The Man in the Hat" that would constantly visit us, in particular him. He was a recovering herion/opioid addict, when this tall dark shadow figure would somehow latch to him. well needless to say he got back into his ways and had a pretty hard downfall. It wasnt until he flat out got tired of being plagued by it, he finally stood up to it and stopped giving in to his fear. To my knowledge he hasnt had any more encounters.

"what can you learn from pure evil?".
Maybe you can stop feeding into it and get this thing off your back by standing up for what you want? It seemingly worked for my roommate

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus

"what can you learn from pure evil?"

Not that you should listen to voices from the void, take it as they are merely passing winds. But the spirit guide as you said has a point, and so what can you learn from pure evil? But what is your definition of evil, if a Cheshire manlike being is so contradicting to you as to bring fear with its smile, you got to ask yourself...Why?

I would and like somebody else said ask it its name. However it will not tell you, and if it does its probably a lie or just messing with you, that or beyond the human scope to understand its true name. If its attracted to you because it can reach you even in that way, then you two must have something in common essence wise. I am not going to bother you with that whole Christianity thing as you seem to have been predisposed by circumstances against it, that and it seems to be against your very nature a bit contradictory if you know what I mean. That and you should know by now that we do not necessarily life in the same world even when we life in the same world, religions like everything else has its evils and it has its goods, and even that would differ from person to person or from entity to entity. But lets just say many a soul has been consumed by it and its ways, and so its not all good.

But the question remains. What can you learn from pure evil? It may be that you can not learn anything from pure evil at all. Or it may be that the only thing you can learn is to stay away from it. But that is a lesson in resonance, and how can you stay away from something that resonates with you? So whatever you can learn from this creature or entity are but fragments of yourself and why you would resonate with it?

I admit it sounds like an interesting chap to meet, but I know how much of a pain these things can be and I never had one of them hat wearing Cheshires before bother me or at least to that degree, that or there cousins the fedora men, a few of the more shrouded types ya, but I think there the same being only as you know in different motifs with different purposes. You should really and seriously start thinking about what the voice from the void/spirit guide said to you. These type of things I find are more of a personal journey, and what one can learn or by which way one finds there way out of it. Is all different, most of the things that may have worked for somebody else will likely be completely useless to you in your situation, however some things are good to keep in mind. And one thing to keep in mind is that this thing is not a one size fits all type of thing, if you know what I mean.

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


Well, if you didn't know, then now you do. So are you going to take them back? It's just a suggestion, sir, no need to do it, unless you are dire to do it.

But remember, this guy is a Shadow, no telling what he'll do just to hold onto that power over you. But you have the power to "Crush his Head." So, as a suggestion, why not do that?

Originally posted by Murgatroid
reply to post by DarwinVsJesus

 

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus

Originally posted by Spader
First of all let me say how sorry I am that you have this happen to you. I havent read all 18 pages so if this already brought up please forgive me. You mentioned that one of your sisters saw "it" or something close to it when they were dabbling in the occult. Are your sisters older than you? Could they have been using a ouija board? Because if they did, there is no telling what they let in.

Yes, they did. And yes, they are.

Ouija boards are VERY bad news.

Most mediums will not even touch them...

I cannot stress enough than to ask you DO NOT USE THIS. All this does is open up the world of dark spirits. My aunt was with a group of high school students that did this. One student died, one student went missing, and my aunty was put into a mental institution for the rest of her life. You can never close this curse once the board is in action, it will never stop and the spirits will kill, thats all they want

uthinkitsover 5 months ago Source

A girl I know CLAWED HER FACE TO PIECES after playing with a Ouiji board. She went crazy!!!!!. PLEASE guys just don't even go there. These things are bad news.

Jakki Jimms 1 month ago Source

Once you use the damn thing, you let your door open to evil spirits. A friend of mine used it a long time ago and now she's in a hospital. She starts talking about a tall black thing that watches her and talks to her. She regrets using the Ouija board.

lupster4 2 months ago Source

For those of you who want to see just how dangerous and deadly this occult device really is, I would highly recommend that you read this book: “The Ouija Board – A Doorway to the Occult”..

In this book are real, live, documented cases of people who literally drew in evil demonic spirits in their lives as a result of engaging with the ouija board – and in many of these cases, these demons actually entered into the person’s body. This device is so deadly and dangerous, that even many mediums will not try and dabble with it.

"...a 22 year old man was playing with a ouija board with his girlfriend one night. One night as they were playing with it, a ghost all of a sudden appeared to him and started to talk with him. He then left his girlfriend’s house, but the ghost followed him all the way back to his home. When he got back home, the ghost would not quit talking to him. He said he got mad and tried to tell it to leave, but it would not obey him.

He then called up one of his friends who was a Christian and she told him that it was probably a demonic spirit and that he should command it to go to the light of Jesus Christ. When she pronounces out this specific command to the demon, this particular demon leaves.

But then all of a sudden a bigger and more evil, demonic spirit now starts talking to him, but this time this spirit is now speaking to him from the inside of his body. In other words, this demonic spirit has now entered into his body and has now taken up full residence in there. From this point on, this man now has a real live demon literally living on the inside of him."

Dangers of the Ouija Board

During my former phone ministry every single harassment victim I worked with who'd ever used a Ouija Board had demonic spirits manifest (make their presence known) in the course of the deliverance session. Even when a person fails to contact a spirit through the Ouija Board, the mere act of trying invites demonic spirits into his life.

I've worked with literally hundreds of harassment victims, helping them to identify the things in their lives that have opened the doors to the demonic. In every case -- without exception -- demonic spirits have manifested in association with anything for which a power had been assigned.

Ouija Boards and Communicating with Demonic Spirits

So... could we get one news report maybe? It always says "someone I know" or "my aunt" but no news stories you'd think if someone clawed their own face off it would make at least local news...

reply to post by euwhajavb

Originally posted by euwhajavb
So... could we get one news report maybe? It always says "someone I know" or "my aunt" but no news stories you'd think if someone clawed their own face off it would make at least local news...

Is it REALLY possible that someone who has been an ATS member for 8 years and does NOT know that the media is one the greatest forms of manipulation and is being used to keep the citizens docile and unaware?

Thomas Jefferson said it far better than I can:

"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." ~ Thomas Jefferson

“The most truthful part of a newspaper is the advertisements.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

"Information control is mind control." ~ Dick Sutphen

"People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news." ~ A.J. Liebling

Mass media is the most powerful tool used by the ruling class to manipulate the masses. It shapes and molds opinions and attitudes and defines what is normal and acceptable.

Mind Control Theories and Techniques used by Mass Media

Originally posted by DarwinVsJesus
"what can you learn from pure evil?".

how to defeat it,


courage, strength in the light, in its ability to destroy darkness

reply to post by DarwinVsJesus


hey man something similair happened to me except it was just voices it turned out that i had schizophrenia and i ended up going on meds and it helped me out alot.

Originally posted by XGodofWar
He came to you when you were weak and you feared him. You built him up through your fear of him. Your addcition gave him fear, anger , sadness to feed off of. You are his meal ticket to keep manifesting in this world. You meditate but you follow a "religion" that tells you to feed your ego so you are unable to spiritually grow. He has extinguished light in you and he wants to make sure you stay in his world. transform him with kindness and love.

He hasbeen following me since I was 2. He didn't just show up when I got into drugs. The majority of the eno#ers happened while I lived at home, in my christian home. I have a deep-seated contempt for that philosophy because of my personal experience with it.

Again, christians need to explain how they can justify the claim that only believes in Christ go to heaven, when that implies both Hitler and the jews he gassed and shoved into ovens are both burning in hell.

Never hear anyone address that one.

You can't transform things with love and kindness.

If I love mine enemies, does that not place me at their mercy? Can the torn and bloody victim loved the blood-splashed jaws that rend him limb from limb?

OR is it more reasonable to say something like this:

39. Stop the way of them that would persecute you. Let those who devise thine undoing be hurled back to confusion and infamy. Let them be as chaff before the cyclone and after they have fallen rejoice in thine own salvation.
40. Then all thy bones shall say pridefully, "Who is like unto me? Have I not been too strong for mine adversaries? Have I not delivered MYSELF by mine own brain and body?"

Originally posted by Raud
I am amazed with how much attention this thread has gained, for better and for worse.
Some people seem to be writing the most outragous things, and I don't know if I need to tell you this but take any given suggestion or advice into careful consideration before attempting anything, even mine.

I guess most people who post here wish you all the best and want to help out but I see a lot of really ignorant (stupid) things come up as well. Not very surprisingly they often originate from people with certain religious motives/agendas/convictions/brainwash symptoms, you know what I'm talking about... To them I'd just want to say: how come your beloved "redeemer" who seem so all-powerful and loving let this entitiy (possible demon) into the realm of mankind in the first place? Is he really that reliable as help, you think?

OK, so enough with the sarcasm. The sheer arrogance I've seen in this thread just had me at a choking point. Mods can censor me all they want for the love of T&C...

Like you, I have a hard time imagining that this entity has anything benign or constructive to offer you. I would not suggest trying to "befriend it" in any way. The profound impact it seems to have on your perception makes it hard to deal with head-on.
Outside help will only be effective depending on how much trust and confidence you put into it. Personally, I'd go to a shaman but that is only because I really believe one would help me but I don't know if that counts for you as well...
The most powerful force you have against it is your own soul and realizing its awesome potential. The entity that haunts you is trying to convince you to think otherwise but that doesn't make it true.

I'd suggest getting rid of any feeling of shame or regret first. Those two make you judge and punish yourself in a way that could make you "accept" this haunting as "your own fault". Drop that! You are not responsible before anyone more than yourself maybe. These feelings of guilt and shame are social constructs. I am not talking about some divine forgiveness or justification, I am talking about survival.
Stuff happen, all the time, everywhere. It's OK, I promise you. The world doesn't stand or fall with you, there are higher things in motion than your life so just take it into perspective. Downsize this sorrow you feel. Look to what is gaining and what is draining you. Rid yourself from what is hampering you, focus on what is making you get up in the morning. You have a dog, right? Focus on that- the unconditional love and loylalty, isn't it beautiful in its own objective way? That's what counts, not some bearded dude who may or may not have lived thousands of years ago (OK, sorry I am at it again I see...).

All this pep-talk almost makes myself sick but I hope you get at least the gist of what I am saying.
I really hope you can expell this demon of yours. I've seen people I love stumble at the edge of the abyss. Some of them fall and never come up. But others, they manage to bounce back against all odds!
If they can, and trust me there was nothing "special" about them, so can you!

Thank you. This was a wonderful, well-said post. I will take everything into consideration.

I agree. Why would your fearsome jehova even let him in? don't give me that BS about demons ruling the world and everyone. Why would god give them any power?

I've always found it incredibly disgusting that people 'pray' for diseased people. Pray to the same god who allowed the disease to grow. Sure, makes perfect sense. If you are a weak, tiny, groveling mouse who wishes to be enslaved and in love with a god you must also fear, I guess that's your business.


I've decided I might see a medium. Without telling them a thing, maybe they can give me some insight. where's chip coffey (LOL) when you need him?

Originally posted by Belcastro
reply to post by DarwinVsJesus

 

hey man something similair happened to me except it was just voices it turned out that i had schizophrenia and i ended up going on meds and it helped me out alot.

I'm on meds. I even take an anti-psychotic. I don't have schizophrenia. I have bipolar disorder NOS (not otherwise specific) so not bipolar 1 or 2. I have rapid cycling, which is an awful burden to carry.

Just imagine intervals of euphoria and extreme hopelessness that change minute to minute.