reply to post by DarwinVsJesus
I hear you, and I'm quite sorry to hear about your current predicament. First off, props for your sobriety - I work in an emergency room in the
inner city and see tons and tons of addiction, and being able to set yourself free is one of the most impressive feats one can achieve in life.
Seriously, well done and keep on keeping on man.
Secondly, I had an eerily similar dream when I was approx. 4 years old, which like you is the first dream I actually remember. The entity that was
stalking me was slightly different, in that he was wearing a brimmed hat, but same face (almost like the Joker form the old Batman cartoons) - ear to
ear insidious grin and a weird, unearthly voice. I was very tall, with creepy long fingers and a very pale complexion, but the face was not quite
human, though he did have eyes/eyebrows and other features of a face. He called me out by name, and said something about me being a "pilgrim". He
was watching me around the corner of a dark hallway, and I just remember being absolutely petrified. I was brought up in a Christian household and
went to some ridiculous Sunday school where I got brainwashed and taught all sorts of watered-down stories, but I do remember that I said the name
"Jesus", and the entity left me and since then, has never visited again. I say that, because I'd encourage you to try it the next time you
encounter GM... if a little terrified 4 year old doused in corrupted and institutionalized religion can do it, you surely can do. Your willingness is
the only barrier, and I appreciate what is probably a very strong reluctance and even disgust on your part.
I respect the moral code you have chosen to live by, and while I would identify myself as Christian - meaning I believe in God the father and his son,
Jesus, and have chosen to attempt to follow the teachings of Jesus - I am probably equally as repulsed by churches and most "Christians" as you are.
My sister was psychologically abused by an overbearing fundamentalist Christian in college and has never recovered, so I can empathize - even if only
a little bit - with the pain of watching your mother's downward spiral. Most of those bible bashers looking to convert via "turn or burn"
methodology and a nice heavy hard-backed King James to smack you in the jaw with are doing the exact opposite of what they ought, and really, what is
taught in Jesus' teachings. Convenient things like "don't judge" and about a thousand other "minor details" are overlooked, left out, or simply
ignored at face value in lieu of pursuing their own agenda. I get it.
All of that said, you know as well as anyone that the paranormal is real, that non-human entities visit and interact with us, so for all those folks
that say "it's just in your mind bro", they can shove it. Some have already said it, and I'll just reinforce the truth - this GM is a demon.
They're the only thing I know of that can instill a feeling of terror like we have both experienced but also manifest a palpable sensation of raw,
pure evil. THAT is something which cannot be manufactured. Again, I respect your dislike of Christianity, of God, and of everything related, but
fortunately or unfortunately - depending on your perspective - there is immense power in the name of Jesus. I am not at all charismatic, but I have
had a very few encounters with demonic entities, and all of them have been blocked or barred by me saying "Jesus". Just try it, if nothing else,
out of sheer cynicism and morbid curiosity. If you say Jesus and GM reacts, I'd say it's definitely demonic, and for whatever reasons wrought
through all dimensionality and spacetime, it simply cannot fight against or overcome this name. Now you may have to repeat it many, many times, but
I'd say judge it by GM's reaction to it. And I can guarantee you that if you say "Jesus" - despite your level of belief/unbelief/whatever, GM
will definitely react.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope that if not helpful, this post is at least food for thought. Again, I sincerely thank you for your honesty and
bravery in posting this struggle, and please, if nothing else, take encouragement from all those that have chimed in in support. I have a morbid
fascination with the paranormal - hence being on ATS; I studied psychology extensively in undergrad and have always been interested in mental health
issues - one of the least well understood physiological maladies... my take is that they are both physical (neurotransmitters, brain structure) and
spiritual, for we are spiritual creatures. I've suffered from depression since I was a child and have benefited from medication, but there is also a
spiritual element to my disease, something that confuses but fascinates me. I'd expect the same may be true for you. Anyways, I have several
resources if you're interested. Thanks!