My Personal Paranormal Experience

I have put off writing about the experience I have had that happened to me for quite some time, it happened to me about 4 and a half years ago to put it in perspective.

First, a little back history.....

I met my ex-girlfriend when I was much younger when I was 24 (I'm 38 now). We met on a chat website and found we had alot of things in common and hit it off almost immediately. I have always believed in love at first sight being a possibilty, but up to the point we met I didn't put alot of faith in the possibility of love without actually having physical contact with a person. That all changed when I met her, we talked for hours and hours on end, online, on the phone and never seemed to run out of things to say to each other. Within 1 month of having met each other she moved to where I live so we could be together, quite a distance (from TX to MA). I can honestly say that I loved her more than any woman ever that wasn't family. We lived together for 7 years (not married though in actuality may of well have been) and had good times and bad, but I always loved her. At the end of the 7 years we ended up going our seperate ways due to financial difficulties (bad times, we were financially immature and wracked up pretty massive debts) and family issues (she had 3 children of her own when we met). Through it all even after we split up romantically we stayed close friends. It is kinda hard for me to talk about this....two years after we romatically split up she passed away. I often think that maybe I didn't try hard enough to make things work, and it sometimes makes me upset.

Roughly six months after she passed I was sitting at my computer listening to music and my media player played a song that reminded me of her (Garth Brooks - The Dance) and I involuntarily started to cry while listening to it and it sounds weird but I felt a brush and tingle down my back that I still can't explain, but all I know is it felt nice. I still think that this may have been her comforting me in my emotional state at that moment in time.

About 2 weeks go by and late one night I am on my computer and was looking up artwork for succubi and fallen angels to use as desktop backgrounds. I have always been fascinated by such artwork, and succubi in general to be honest. I only mention this in relation to what happened a few nights later.

It was a late August night, very hot and muggy out and was approximately 2 or 3 AM. I remember waking up and could see some heat lightning and distant rumbles of thunder way off in the distance. I rolled over and started to look out the window because I have always liked to watch lightning at night also. As I am laying there, I feel a brush at my back, and tingling that started around my shoulder, went down my spine and subsided around my lower back. Remembering my experience from a few weeks back I start to think of my ex and how much I missed her. At this point everything was all very positive feeling even though I was afraid to turn over and see what had caused the sensation and still leaves me confused about my feelings now about what had happened after this. As I am laying there I become aware of a prescence that was trying to force itself into my consciousness. I can only explain this as what felt like a thudding in my head and flashes of orangeish light in my mind. Not actual flashes, but if you have closed your eyes while looking directly at the sun it was like what that looks like but flashes instead of a constant. Each intrusion felt like a hammer pounding me in the head with no physical pain behind it. I know that this description does the experience little justice, but it is the only way I can even come close to explaining it. At this point I start to get very scared as this state of being is very alien to me. I remember thinking to myself "Get out of my head!!" and the feeling started to subside and it went away. I was scared s**tless at this point and remember reaching for the television remote to turn the TV on. When the TV came on I stayed awake another hour and a half or so until after it started to get light outside. At about four AM I turn the TV out and having calmed down try and get some sleep thinking it was safe to do so. I was still confused as to if what happened earlier was a positive or negative experience. About a half hour after turning the TV out I start to experience the chain of events again starting with the mental intrusion and flashes. I was terrified and as this was happening I could feel a tear roll down my cheek and I remember offering a prayer and it went away.

I have never been religious, can count the amount of times I have been in a church without running out of fingers. I'm a grown man, and when I say that I was scared you can believe that terrified fits the description better. For about four months after this I would stay awake all night and not go to sleep until after dawn. I started to sleep with a cross on a chain wrapped around my hand and fingers. I have no idea what it's intentions were, but I am fairly certain it was some sort of negative entity now, I cannot rationalize a positive one having the want or desire to try and superimpose it's consciousness over someone else's. I am not 100% positive that this is what the entity was trying to do but it is an educated guess on my part. I never actually saw the entity only felt it, so I have no clue if it was a ghost or demon or what.

I will I am sure have some that won't believe what I say really happened and that is okay, I am only writing this for my benefit to get it down and was actually inspired to tell my story because of another posters story on here (Thanks Libertygal). If anyone has had a similar experience, I won't lie it would be nice to know I am not alone in what happened. I would even like some educated guesses from people with knowledge if anyone wants to offer some up. I am open to answer questions as well and will answer to the best of my ability.

Thank you for telling your story, just knowing there are others out there with similarly odd experiences as I myself have had, is comforting in many ways.
I believe that if one is aware of self enough- so as to be able to recognize and discern odd feelings enough to respond as you did, particularly the 'get out of my head' response then hopefully through faith and positivity, they should be able to keep the 'ick' (for lack of better word away.
And I am sorry for your loss, relationships and friends formed within them, are irreplaceable. Thanks again for sharing your story =)

Hey DarkPhoenix,first of all,my condolences and sympathy on the loss of your longtime companion and friend.I felt a vibe of great sadness from your post.If i may guess,you are afraid more than anything,at the heart of it,that these scary events will spoil the good memories you keep,of a person who is still very dear to you,and was such an important part of your life for a long time? That it will "pollute" all the wonderful and positive memories? Imo,it could be an entity taking advantage of the emotional connection you still feel, to your late ex-girlfriend.I very much doubt that in the form+world she is in now,she would want to scare you or make you unhappy.Imo once you shed the flesh,and go back to the world between lives(im a firm believer in reincarnation,due to personal experiences) you gain,or rather regain understanding,and the desire is for peace only,and learning more,always learning,here or elsewhere.Well,thats my 2c worth,and again, my heartfelt sympathy.

Originally posted by Raxoxane
Hey DarkPhoenix,first of all,my condolences and sympathy on the loss of your longtime companion and friend.I felt a vibe of great sadness from your post.If i may guess,you are afraid more than anything,at the heart of it,that these scary events will spoil the good memories you keep,of a person who is still very dear to you,and was such an important part of your life for a long time? That it will "pollute" all the wonderful and positive memories? Imo,it could be an entity taking advantage of the emotional connection you still feel, to your late ex-girlfriend.I very much doubt that in the form+world she is in now,she would want to scare you or make you unhappy.Imo once you shed the flesh,and go back to the world between lives(im a firm believer in reincarnation,due to personal experiences) you gain,or rather regain understanding,and the desire is for peace only,and learning more,always learning,here or elsewhere.Well,thats my 2c worth,and again, my heartfelt sympathy.

@ crystal Thanks, I now know I am not alone on this site with a similar experience. It helps knowing there are others I agree.

@ Rax Thank you for your thoughts. Yeah, it's been 5 years now but I still miss her alot, and am still on occasion prone to some tears. Rationally I agree that it is not possible that it would have been her, the act of forcing yourself into someone else's consciousness is seemingly a selfish act with no positive reason for one to do so that I can fathom. It is more logical to assume that it was using my sadness and regrets as an "in" as you suggest.

reply to post by Darkphoenix77


First, let me say I'm sorry for your loss.

I have to wonder if this was your friend trying to comfort you after her passing. I don't think she meant to scare you. There have been a lot of people that see loved ones soon after their passing, and it scares them half to death, even though it is still the person they loved in life. It's just a creepy feeling when they appear, or touch us from the other side.

My second husband was killed in a car crash after we divorced. My story is similar to yours. We remained close friends, and I was considering getting back in a more serious relationship with him before his accident.

To make a long story short, I cried for months after his death.
One night I was lying in bed crying with my radio on a classical rock station. Suddenly the song that was playing faded out and the most "heavenly" music started playing. Then a voice came across the radio that said, "Don't cry. I'm at peace... I'm at peace." It was his voice! The heavenly song faded and the rock song came back on.

I know this was him trying to comfort me. I can't describe the peaceful, tingling feeling that went through my entire body! It was like something reached inside me and took ALL my burden/heartache away. I could feel it leaving my body. Hard to describe. I never shed another tear for him after that moment.

I also believe in reincarnation. Sometimes it can take many of our earth years before a spirit returns to the flesh. Other times, they come back quickly.
I think they can communicate with the living until they return, or go to a higher dimension, or where ever their next soul lesson takes them.

I really feel like your own fears of the unknown scared you, and kept you from realizing this was her trying to comfort you. But, that's just my opinion. It could have been a bad spirit taking advantage of your weak emotional state, as you said, but if you had never had any negative spiritual encounters prior to this, or since then, I doubt it.

Things get better with time, but we will always hold our loved ones close at heart. She will always be with you in spirit, and in your heart.

reply to post by sled735


Thank you for your kind words. I honestly do not know, and that is what still hurts. If it was a negative entity of some sort then in my panicked prayer I was justified in what I did. If it wasn't then the thought of what I did makes me feel terrible and unworthy of her love in the first place, and that thought still eats at me inside.

When we split up I was and still am living in an apartment complex for the disabled and those that are retired and want to live in a community setting. Needless to say I couldn't live here with her and her children. She was living out of a motel basically that would allow her to pay by the week to stay there. When she slipped into a coma she was alone, and was found after by her middle daughter (probably 4-6 hours after it happened) breathing shallowly. When we went to the hospital the doctors explained to us that it was due to a brain aneurysm. When her mother got up here from TX it was explained to us that there was no brain activity and we agreed that she would not want to be in that condition with zero chance of recovery, so the doctors took her off of the life support.

I just realized that I left out part of my original story as well. Two nights after she passed I had a dream about her, whether it was her coming to me in a dream or it was just a very vivid dream I do not know. I remember seeing her in my dream and saying aloud (in my dream) "This is impossible......You're.......You're dead!" I saw a profound look of sadness in her eyes before I woke up with tears in my eyes. I was, still am angry at myself....angry because the way I said that in my dream was very insensitive! One would think even in a dream state I could have been a bit less blunt about it and that annoys me.

I know she would not want me to stay sad forever and would want me to find happiness again. The pain has lessened but will never completely vanish. If I meet someone that becomes important in my life I just hope they can understand that part of me will always love her.

reply to post by Darkphoenix77


We can go to meet "departed" souls in the astral plane when we sleep. I think you very well could have been with her spirit there.
Don't worry about what you said. She may have not realized she had passed, and you told her, which caused her look of sadness knowing she was having to leave you and her children. She is okay now, and in a much happier place. She understands your words of disbelief having seen her.
If you feel bad for things you said, just ask her to forgive you now. She'll hear you, and you will feel better too. I'm sure she realized you thought her presence was a demon, and not her. She knows you wouldn't speak those things of her.

I have visited my father, and other loved ones on the other side during sleep. No, it wasn't a dream. There is a difference I can distinguish between a dream and actually being in the astral plane with other beings/spirits.

Anyway... time for me to leave for work. Have a good night. Everything will be okay.

reply to post by Darkphoenix77

The true love of my life was killed in an accident. I dream of him from time to time, they are rare treats to see, hear and hug him in my dreams.

However, I don't feel that "being" at night was your past love. It sounds like an imposter playing on your emotions and open state. Don't let it in. Don't let it connect with you. I've had many "bump in the night" experiences with energies (ghosts? non-human entities? other?).

I am not religious, but I do feel that being strong and not in Fear can help. Put a boundary around yourself, a circle of light with sliver lining. Visualize it before you sleep. And, while I am not religious, nor do I know for certain that angels exist, I sometimes ask for angels of the Light to surround me when I sleep, if I'm having an uneasy feeling about the house.

I dreamt of my love on Wednesday morning before I awoke. I remember telling a childhood friend about him, and welled up with tears. Wiping the tears from eyes, I turned and hurried to him, as he had walked into the room without a word. I knew he was dead, but he was alive, and he gave me a quick kiss and I hugged and hugged him. Then I awoke. It was wonderful.

My heart goes out to you. But stay safe my friend.

reply to post by Darkphoenix77

I started to sleep with a cross on a chain wrapped around my hand and fingers. I have no idea what it's intentions were, but I am fairly certain it was some sort of negative entity now, I cannot rationalize a positive one having the want or desire to try and superimpose it's consciousness over someone else's

Things tend to mirror out no matter what kaleidoscope your in or fancy, you would be surprised. Would you trust somebody who was all sneaky and mysterious and trying to do something to you or get you to do something if you meet them in your daily life? Likely you would, and for good reasons.

Well the same goes for pretty much everything else, most telling things tell there tale in the way and by there actions before anything happens in deed. There are exceptions off-course but that seems to be the rule. And off course there is also the more deceptive ones who come as friends, you know the whole don't trust greeks bearing gifts meaning. In all incompatibility is dangerous and risky business. As for the rest...A very sad story bro.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
reply to post by Darkphoenix77

 

I started to sleep with a cross on a chain wrapped around my hand and fingers. I have no idea what it's intentions were, but I am fairly certain it was some sort of negative entity now, I cannot rationalize a positive one having the want or desire to try and superimpose it's consciousness over someone else's

Things tend to mirror out no matter what kaleidoscope your in or fancy, you would be surprised. Would you trust somebody who was all sneaky and mysterious and trying to do something to you or get you to do something if you meet them in your daily life? Likely you would, and for good reasons.

Well the same goes for pretty much everything else, most telling things tell there tale in the way and by there actions before anything happens in deed. There are exceptions off-course but that seems to be the rule. And off course there is also the more deceptive ones who come as friends, you know the whole don't trust greeks bearing gifts meaning. In all incompatibility is dangerous and risky business. As for the rest...A very sad story bro.

I can't argue that, I tend to trust everyone until they wrong me and I have a reason not to. The description of the Trojan Horse may be very accurate as well. Thank you for offering your point of view and words of wisdom.

reply to post by Darkphoenix77


I starred and flagged your post when I first read it long ago. I have read it several times, and had a couple of reactions to it, but could never quite find the words to express my thoughts. I know you read my post, as you told me it is what prompted you to post your story. I run hot and cold at times, wanting to delve into things, then other times, needing to distance myself out of fear, mental overload, or other reasons.

I decided after reading it again, and reading the post from Mamaj about her sons' experience, to revisit your link. I have the words now, finally, to complete my thoughts. Took me long enough, eh?

First, like others, I have a lot empathy for your loss. I have lost past loves after breakups, and I can understand what you may have gone through. A couple of them were long after the breakup, though, so the effects were not as yours. It was still painful, though. Once you love someone, you love them, even if you realize you don't belong together anymore.

As to the rest of your post, let me offer some comments, and advice, for what that is worth.

Knowing what I have experienced, and the length of time it has been, what I can offer you is this. When we miss someone, we have a vulnerability. I think, in my heart of hearts, this vulnerability can open us up to exploitation. What I mean by this is, you are wanting so deeply for that sign, or contact, or anything, some way of knowing a sense of forgiveness or whatever it was you had leftover. In doing so, you have open doors.

With these open doors, if you think it is possible that a loved one can contact you, what is to prevent any other being, entity, spirit, or whatever you may want to call, it, from being able to contact you, as well?

In our hour of need, we let our defenses down, and in our desire for that moment, we may allow the wrong contact to happen. This is the vulnerability that I speak of.

I think you handled it exactly as you should have. Your mind, spirit, and heart knew the difference, knew it wasn't right, and knew to block it.

This is, of course, just my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions. I came offering this after a lot of consideration, and only as an opinion.

I think sometimes we want something so much, that in doing so, we take unnecessary risks. Keep that in mind should anything else like this ever happen. In the meantime, let me relay a little story.

I was at work one night, sitting outside at a picnic table. There was an exterior light, and I was able to read by it. The weather was beautiful, so I took advantage, and made my post outside. I was doing security at the time, as well as a bodyguard for the sole employee in the building.

As I was reading, the last thing on my mind was my father, who had recently passed away, just a few months prior. I felt something behind me, and then felt a hand on my shoulder, and a light kiss on my cheek. I even *heard* the smooch sound in my ear. I gasped and turned suddenly, I knew it was my dad, and expected to see someone there. There, of course, was no one.

I wasn't frightened as much as I was shocked, but, I was also calm, happy, and I felt an overwhelming sensation of love.

At the same time, I felt vulnerable, out in the open, targettable. It's hard to explain, but now that I am able to find the words, I guess what I am saying is, if he could make that contact, so could "someone else".

I quickly gathered up my things and went inside. I don't know why I felt going inside would make a difference, obviously, if they can make contact, they can likely do it anywhere, but, I simply felt safer indoors.

The other point is, it didn't *feel* bad. It felt nice, comforting, loving, soothing. The surprise came from the suddenness, unexpectedness, and the fact he wasn't consciously on my mind at that time.

Was it him? In my heart of hearts, I think so. I have never doubted it. What I did question was that vulnerability that I am speaking of.

Don't despair in the loss of your friend. I do believe if there were any issues that you had before she passed, you know this in your heart of hearts. You are the only one, along with her, that knows. If there was an issue, then ask for her forgiveness, and most of all, forvive yourself.

Above all else, when something doesn't feel good, or feel right, you will know. Never second guess that instict, or question that what you did was the right thing. It should not scare you, or feel evil, or possessive, or frightening.

Surprising, sure. Bad or evil, no.

I'm sorry it took so long to reply, but, like I said, I had to have the words that felt right to get across what I felt I needed to say, and sometimes, that takes time. I hope this all makes sense, and that you understand what I am trying to say. It means a lot to me that you do.

I hope you are well.

Wow, I honestly after a while never expected another response to this thread. Here I am just noticing the post 2 years later....ugh. Thank you for your insight and kind words Libertygal and I hope that everything is well with you and yours.