Being alone does not mean that we have to feel lonely. Loneliness is not a condition we must live.

Originally posted by Shema


Truly we are never really alone. In my solitude I realize this most deeply. That feeling, or I should say, that fear of being alone is the sense of being lost, hopelessly lost, cut off, spiritually dead or heading that way.

I too love my solitude which isn't solitude its just getting away from the din and madness to be with the serenity of silence and sanity.

In truth there is no such thing as being totally alone because there is much more to life than what we experience on the physical. For instance it is impossible to have sex on your own. You might think you are alone as you pleasure yourself but you are patently not alone, only on the physical.

To overcome the fear of lonliness you first have to realize these things.

Timely thread OP

Yes. Great post.

Once you understand that in truth, we are all One with the One True Creator, how could we ever really see ourselves as alone? Our only real separation concerns experiences. Choice...

Originally posted by smyleegrl
reply to post by Wanderer112358

 

It comes from years and years of challenges. But the awesome thing about surviving hardships, you are certainly stronger, if you choose to be.

The problem, as I see it, is that so many choose to be hurt by life's misadventures. Or even worse, the people who truly don't understand that they have a choice at all.

In truth, it comes from many lifetimes of challenges. The more lives we live, the more experience we gain and hopefully the more wise we become.

Wisdom does not come from information, but from experience...

Peace

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by Wanderer112358

 

I don't see it as being a condition at all, nor an enemy. It is simply a choice.

I definitely do not see it as a condition in the context as given, and we are not all the same as one another always.
Being on our own is not the same as being lonely, as you say it could be choice. It's kind of hard to put in words when you know someone, (in my case) a friend I knew for years, very outgoing and friendly, had many friends himself, yet when his wife died not a year ago, he just faded away and died himself a few months ago, he'd lost a soulmate for want of a better word, if there is one.

Originally posted by smurfy

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by Wanderer112358

 

I don't see it as being a condition at all, nor an enemy. It is simply a choice.

I definitely do not see it as a condition in the context as given, and we are not all the same as one another always.
Being on our own is not the same as being lonely, as you say it could be choice. It's kind of hard to put in words when you know someone, (in my case) a friend I knew for years, very outgoing and friendly, had many friends himself, yet when his wife died not a year ago, he just faded away and died himself a few months ago, he'd lost a soulmate for want of a better word, if there is one.

Friends are people that we collect around us because we are afraid to ever be alone. They cannot be trusted any more than a stranger, in fact, probably less...

reply to post by smurfy



Losing a loved one, a soulmate, can tear a person apart and a deep longing to be together again can become ones motivating desire which would inevitably lead to death. Finding oneself suddenly alone is a tough call and I know someone who degenerated very quickly but recovered and eventually met another partner and remarried. That is a common scenario. When you give yourself totally and unselfishly to another individual there's always the risk that you will not survive a breakup.
But its emotional, its heartbreak, its loss and separation. Its not loneliness, unless your idea of loneliness is an amalgamation of those 4 things.

reply to post by Wanderer112358


I am not lonely not since I found ATS.

Originally posted by Thurisaz
reply to post by Wanderer112358

 

I am not lonely not since I found ATS.

Lonely is derived from fear. Lowering your amplitude and slowing your vibrations.
Accept and love.

Originally posted by Deyadorean
Lonely is derived from fear. Lowering your amplitude and slowing your vibrations.
Accept and love.

Yes

I long to be alone with my thoughts, while others are lonely without much thought.

Originally posted by resoe26
I long to be alone with my thoughts, while others are lonely without much thought.

Very good. Truth.

I share your longing.
Your mind is a locked door and silence is the key.

Where does the door lead?
Realization of no boundaries, no me or you or this or that. Just here, now.

Originally posted by Shema
reply to post by smurfy

 

Losing a loved one, a soulmate, can tear a person apart and a deep longing to be together again can become ones motivating desire which would inevitably lead to death. Finding oneself suddenly alone is a tough call and I know someone who degenerated very quickly but recovered and eventually met another partner and remarried. That is a common scenario. When you give yourself totally and unselfishly to another individual there's always the risk that you will not survive a breakup.
But its emotional, its heartbreak, its loss and separation. Its not loneliness, unless your idea of loneliness is an amalgamation of those 4 things.

That's what I was saying, the man wasn't lonely, he still had friends, people who were drawn to him because of his nature, not people who he 'gathered up', as another poster has said. I could mention a lot of similar situations of loss, all with different outcomes, but loneliness is not a part of them.

reply to post by Wanderer112358


Wow, amazing thread and I appreciate what every single person said. It addresses exactly where I am and really something I have struggled with over my life. I find myself isolated by circumstances that demand I am alone in an ongoing manner. Sometimes I look at people dashing around seeking comfort, doing, going, running from it, keeping their day so crammed with activity they never have to be with themselves. I have gratitude that I can stand on my own, here, alone. It's okay. It does get lonely sometimes and I wish this or that. But I couldn't live now with "strangers in the house" just for the sake of not being lonely. That's how a lot of people live I have come to understand. Lonely in their house with people. Mostly now, I am alone. Not lonely. Thank you for bringing up this important issue. I feel better now -- strong and whole.

reply to post by Wanderer112358


Needing that personal social life is not a flaw. It's there so that you can take from others what you need to evolve your person. Ever notice that when you hang around new people. People that you like. they become friends with you. Unknowingly you are taking things you like about them. For the average joe it's adapting musical taste. They might like a genre you had never payed much attention to. But after that it gets stagnant. Most likely parties is what holds the friendship together. Why? Because in an evolution sense your done with them. The more advanced people will take from people personality traits and evolve a personality cocktail. Those people can fit in anywhere they want. Like a chameleon.

reply to post by Wanderer112358

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.

I'll do Buddha one better. The whole secret of existence is to feel every emotion as it comes to you. These emotions evolved over billions of years so they MUST have an important purpose, otherwise we would have lost them long ago. If you feel fear, what good does it do to deny it or internalize to the point where it grinds your guts up?

If the fear is genuine it can save your life. If the fear is all in your mind, seek help.

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX
Respectfully. I am not wanting to have a personality cocktail by taking little bits and pieces of others.

reply to post by 1007532013


Then you are not capable of adapting to your environment. By that I mean your not universal. If your not universal then how can you reach out to those different then you. Your person needs to be ever evolving otherwise your just a monotone song that plays over and over again. In other words to predictable and boring. Where people around you are hoping someone new walks in.

reply to post by XsweetNspiceyX
I'm almost 60 years old and have lived a lot of life. I have played the role where I am one way with this group and another way with a different group. Whatever you are I am. Whatever you believe, I believe. It's not authentic to me personally. It means I am not an individual, just playing a part. It took a long time for me to evolve out of that trap. This doesn't mean that I don't adapt socially. I said in my post that circumstances have kept me isolated. The circumstances are that I have taken both of my parents through hospice. It's just another big slice of life. Not permanent as nothing is.

reply to post by 1007532013



Just because you evolve your personality doesn't mean you lose who you are you just shape and mold what you have gained from others and form it into yours. That way it becomes another piece to your puzzle. If you can imagine a god of all this is how he would be. As it would have to encompass everybody even if in tiny frations. So can we really say we are who we think we are? Or are we just copies of one another anyway. We learn from our parents to begin with. So wouldn't we just be reflections of them until we get around our peers? I think so. I think what I've said takes place in everyone just some people notice it more then others. Some people do it intentionally where others might do it on smaller scales unknowingly.