Please tell me this is normal .

Originally posted by humanreaction
reply to post by whatsecret

 

It's SICKENING that people who say LAUGHING is part of shock and how everyone reacts differently. This means half of the world is INHUMANE. You are INHUMAN IF YOU LAUGH AFTER YOUR DAUGHTER DIED, WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE IN FRONT OF A DAMN CAMERA OK???

Why are you INHUMANE if you can laugh within hours or days after a loved one died (especially dying like Emilie Parker).. because you did not allow your HUMAN EMOTIONS TO COME THROUGH AND GRIEVE CORRECTLY. You people who talk about "laughing is not uncommon", obviously have some type of BLOCKAGE in your emotions or brain that block the REAL HUMAN EMOTION to set it, because THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

edit on 19-12-2012 by humanreaction because: (no reason given)

edit on 19-12-2012 by humanreaction because: correction

There is no such thing as grieving "correctly". heaping shame on a person for not feeling grief in a certain way is possibly the most disgusting thing you could do. People feel enough of it(guilt) without being considered sick in the head. Many people beat themselves up and lose their sense of self worth when they fail to be able to grieve as they think they should do. How humane of you to vilify and dehumanise these people!!!!!!

It is perfectly normal to laugh while in the process of grieving. Not only is it normal, it's much healthier to be able to experience that full range of human emotions while in the grieving process. The ability to laugh, the ability to enjoy something, a joke, a thrilling novel, an epic song, these are as human as it gets. To belittle people for expressing these things in time of grieving is idiotic.

You keep talking about human emotions, about certain states being "INHUMANE", while obviously having no clue about either. People always have and always will find ways to lighten situations, to find humour in the darkest of scenarios, that's an intricate part of the human resolve, for gods sake.

Emotions are NOT dichotomous. Humans have the capacity to experience a wide range of emotions, many at the same time.

When my uncle was laying up in a hospital bed, and I missed out on the chance to say goodbye because when I saw him I was too upset seeing him in the state he was and left the ward in a flood of tears, and I shortly after laughed at a joke my dad told me, do you seriously think the fact I laughed somehow invalidates the genuine upset I was feeling? or the fact my dad made a joke that he also wasn't upset?

When at the same relatives funeral a song was played, his favourite song, a very tongue in cheek song considering the circumstances, and most the people there exploded with laughter, were those people inhumane, his loving relatives, his close friends, etc, all of them mentally ill, all of them inhumane? His mother, my grandmother, she was inhumane for laughing too? That would be some achievement, wouldn't it, a chance gathering of 100 inhumane, mentally ill people!

You're 100% wrong to say that there's a correct way to grieve and that people who express other emotions in the process are inhumane. If you had any emotion, any heart, you'd see that your ridiculous statements are offensive and upsetting to the billions of people in the world you've just judged to be lesser humans. If anything is sickening it's your outrageous ramblings.

reply to post by GrandStrategy


Exactly. I wish I could give you a 1000 stars for that. For other people to think they can put themselves in this dad's shoes is ridiculous. How do we know that someone didn't tell him a joke to ease his nerves that come with talking in front of millions of people for the first time in your life after your daughter was gunned down. Not a single member of this board can tell this man how he should and shouldn't be grieving. And none of them would ever have the guts to say it to his face. They just sit behind a computer screen and type away.

Originally posted by bknapple32
reply to post by GrandStrategy

 

Exactly. I wish I could give you a 1000 stars for that. For other people to think they can put themselves in this dad's shoes is ridiculous. How do we know that someone didn't tell him a joke to ease his nerves that come with talking in front of millions of people for the first time in your life after your daughter was gunned down. Not a single member of this board can tell this man how he should and shouldn't be grieving. And none of them would ever have the guts to say it to his face. They just sit behind a computer screen and type away.

That's right, these people are crazy

Crying releases endorphins, the very chemical that brings about the state of happiness. When you cry your body is pumped full of stress releasing hormones. These is ample psychology and science as to why you can laugh while in the grieving process

I bet these same people, if they saw someone crying on tv in HAPPINESS, would say that they must be actors too, because humane people do not cry while celebrating good news!

Silly, ridiculous people. If laughing was such an unusual, out of place emotion for the situation then why would a supposed actor involved in a huge conspiracy be laughing? Sense it does not make.

reply to post by BlowinSmoke


i agree with you 100 percent on all the things you bring up. and for the one saying people deal diferent to deaths.i been around many and i can say based on peoples in that position.the death of a child and especially a young one is no laughing matter in any part of your untrained reactive system.that is the worse pain of death experience.bare in mind it was by "crime".and not only that ,its not one isolated case of laugh in this case.there are pics of a few of them.people can reasson all day about this issue but reality is way diferent then what they triying to make you believe. were are the seens of the parents bleeding there hearts out fighting with the cops triying to reach there dead child? all them kids and not one incident of such on camera?they would have to kill a parent to stop them from reaching him,or has society really reached that state?of cold hearted people.its not making sense.all tactics and no real drama for a crime of such magnitude.

Originally posted by bumpufirst
reply to post by BlowinSmoke

 

i agree with you 100 percent on all the things you bring up. and for the one saying people deal diferent to deaths.i been around many and i can say based on peoples in that position.the death of a child and especially a young one is no laughing matter in any part of your untrained reactive system.that is the worse pain of death experience.bare in mind it was by "crime".and not only that ,its not one isolated case of laugh in this case.there are pics of a few of them.people can reasson all day about this issue but reality is way diferent then what they triying to make you believe.

I will refer you to the top of the page. I didn't know you were the end all be all of how victim's families are supposed to react to death. We are all robots who react the same way??

reply to post by bknapple32


read my edited protion for further explanation.

reply to post by bknapple32


heck! even you sound very calm in discusing such event and more inclined in directing traffic towards an idea of how things are a ok.not working budy.do you have kids?

Let me get one thing straight. Some are saying that laughing can be part of the shock when hearing terrible news like this but it is only ever a immediate reaction. NOT the emotion you feel once the news settles in, usually a few hours.

He isnt just laughing, he looks positively sly when he approaches the mic.

I have a 6 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl. If one of them were to not just die but be MURDERED, I would be completely and utterly broken. I certainly, and I think I speak for all parents with a heart around the world would be the same, I wouldnt be putting on a suit, having a giggle or smiling at someone who says something nice to me (not at this stage anyway), I would look positively ILL and my eyes would be red raw and look like Pi*s holes in the slow. They are my world.

I'm sorry, I'm not buying this, he is no way in any shape or form a grieving parent. The same goes for the couple interviewed in their home. no tears, no trembling, no grief, they are talking about losing their daughter as if it was 2 yrs ago, not 2 days They look VERY normal.

I don't consider myself as an overly paranoid person who seeks a conspiracy in everything (got over that one) but this whole thing stinks to high heaven.

Please someone, just give us some straight answers. I even emailed the father yesterday pleading with him to tell us why he laughed before the press conference as many people are eyeing it with suspicion. I will post the results back if he replies.

Just to also show you this

The stages of Grief, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:[2]

1.Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.

2.Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.

3.Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

4.Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.

5.Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.


If he is at stage one, then fine, but WHY turn on the waterworks just for the camera? It just doesnt make sense.

All you people on here saying that we cant judge someone who isnt in his shoes, let me tell you something that I rarely speak about. When I was about 25, my young brother died, he drowned. The whole family was utterly mortified from the word go and so was everyone that knew him. NOBODY smiles and jokes in ANY of these stages until stage 5.

reply to post by pbasonuk

Please someone, just give us some straight answers. I even emailed the father yesterday pleading with him to tell us why he laughed before the press conference as many people are eyeing it with suspicion. I will post the results back if he replies.

Now that might be crossing the line a little bit.

Originally posted by pbasonuk
Please someone, just give us some straight answers. I even emailed the father yesterday pleading with him to tell us why he laughed before the press conference as many people are eyeing it with suspicion. I will post the results back if he replies.

Wow, I'm sure he'll appreciate that mate.

There are 2 outcomes to what you've done. Outcome 1 is that a grieving father reads a disgusting, thoughtless email questioning his validity as a loving parent, as a human being, even. The other is that he's an actor, in which case he wouldn't in the first place email you back conceding that fact. In either case, you gain absolutely nothing from the email. Did you even stop to consider that a man who just lost his bloody daughter is going to receive your crazy demands for an explanation.

This is what I'm talking about, about people being foolish and not thinking things through.

All the people in this thread claiming to have a monopoly on emotion, I include yourself, seemingly have no ability to empathise or consider how your views and actions could hurt other people. It annoys me when I'm told years after the fact that I'm not human for laughing while grieving, I can't imagine how I'd feel if someone emailed me what you have if I'm the father. Just, wow. What an absurd thing to do. That you think that to be acceptable behaviour baffles the mind.

they are all actors and this is all so blatant a fabrication,
a production that it's embarassing.

wake up people. you are being played.

this world has become what it is because we have all been such suckers for the lies
spouted to us by our idiot boxes in the corner.

if you cannot see through this faked sandy hook shooting scenario, then you remain part of the
problem and not the solution.

this is really too obvious.

reply to post by pbasonuk

All you people on here saying that we cant judge someone who isnt in his shoes, let me tell you something that I rarely speak about. When I was about 25, my young brother died, he drowned. The whole family was utterly mortified from the word go and so was everyone that knew him. NOBODY smiles and jokes in ANY of these stages until stage 5.

The fact is that people are different. To me it looks very strange And if I was related to him We would have words about it. I think this issue should be left alone for now and see what comes next. But if he responds to your email let us know what he says.

reply to post by GrandStrategy


I can assure everyone that I did not accuse him of anything or acting etc, I actually asked him in a way by telling him that rumours are spreading around sites like these accusing him of acting. I did not say I was one of them but could he possibly take a minute out of his hectic life right now to hopefully put people straight as his reaction is making a lot of people suspicious. I also apologised for his loss and wished all the best for his family.

I'm not that fcuking stupid you know.

reply to post by whatsecret
[more time is of most importance ,sitting and waitting as you say just allows for errors to be corrected and covered as it seems to be the case here. one thing is looking and seeing what is really there and another is asuming what we think we are seeing.or lead to believe.

Originally posted by OutonaLimb
they are all actors and this is all so blatant a fabrication,
a production that it's embarassing.

wake up people. you are being played.

this world has become what it is because we have all been such suckers for the lies
spouted to us by our idiot boxes in the corner.

if you cannot see through this faked sandy hook shooting scenario, then you remain part of the
problem and not the solution.

this is really too obvious.

OH my god. its getting disgusting here. ATS has reached a new low. This poor man gets vilified here because he reacts in his own way to his daughters death. Im sorry I dont care if I get banned for this. Quite frankly, people should be getting banned for making such egregious accusations with no proof.

Some of you people who are saying this man is lying and an actor WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PROOF... are ...


The Scum of the Earth.

reply to post by bknapple32


Give your mouth a rest, try using your brain.

Originally posted by GrandStrategy

Originally posted by mykingdomforthetruth
he's trying to gear himself up to look sad, thats not actually feeling sad thats the same way an actor would do it.

Would an actor in a conspiracy of this magnitude be laughing in front of a crowd of reporters and cameras?

No A descent actor would be ready for the scene well in advance this guy either doesnt give a flying # about the situation or he's detached because he's not really a relative

Originally posted by pbasonuk
reply to post by GrandStrategy

 

I can assure everyone that I did not accuse him of anything or acting etc, I actually asked him in a way by telling him that rumours are spreading around sites like these accusing him of acting. I did not say I was one of them but could he possibly take a minute out of his hectic life right now to hopefully put people straight as his reaction is making a lot of people suspicious. I also apologised for his loss and wished all the best for his family.

I'm not that fcuking stupid you know.

Apparently you are.

Grief:

Reactions

Crying is a normal and natural part of grieving. It has also been found, however, that crying and talking about the loss is not the only healthy response and, if forced or excessive, can be harmful.[8][9] Responses or actions in the affected person, called "coping ugly" by researcher George Bonanno, may seem counterintuitive or even look dysfunctional, such as celebratory responses, laughter, self-serving bias in interpreting events.[10] Lack of crying is also a natural, healthy reaction, potentially protective of the individual, and may also be seen as a sign of resilience.[8][9][11] Science has found that some healthy people who are grieving do not spontaneously talk about the loss. Pressing people to cry or retell the experience of a loss can be harmful.[9] Genuine laughter is healthy.[8][11]

Wikipedia: Grief

Seriously man, I can't believe you actually emailed the guy! Hopefully he does email you back and tells you to "go f**k yourself". I know I would.

Originally posted by pbasonuk
reply to post by bknapple32

 

Give your mouth a rest, try using your brain.

No thanks. I will not rest knowing there are those here pushing the agenda that these were all actors. None of you have any idea what you are talking about. And none of you would ever say these things to that mans face. Cowardly.