I Am Adam Lanza's Mother

Below is a very revealing and troubling blog that I ran into from a mother who has a child with a mental illness that quite frankly scares her.

Friday’s horrific national tragedy—the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in New Town, Connecticut—has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Her telling story

I AM


Charlotte Bacon

Daniel Barden

Olivia Engel

Josephine Gay

Ana M. Marquez-Greene

Dylan Hockley

Madeleine F. Hsu

Catherine V. Hubbard

Chase Kowalski

Jesse Lewis

James Mattioli

Grace McDonnell

Emilie Parker

Jack Pinto

Noah Pozner

Caroline Previdi

Jessica Rekos

Avielle Richman

Benjamin Wheeler

And I demand more services for people affected by mental illness, an immediate revocation of the 2nd ammendment, a complete ban on guns and some sense of respect, honor and dignity from mass medias when Innocent humans are savagely murdered.

reply to post by Enzo954


She sounds like a terrible mother.

Not every person should have children.

That woman reminds me of the mother from 'We Need To Talk About Kevin'. Thats a good book.

There is so much wrong with that story it is absolutely unbelievable. The headline for starters. The mother's idea of discipline....he calls her a 'stupid b***h' and she says 'you certainly cannot call me that??? What is this reasoning with 13 year olds? They do as they are told at appropriate times - or face a consequence. Parents do NOT whine or plead with their children - they draw boundaries for them - if the child steps over the line they face appropriate discipline.

Had all of that been done then this child may well not have ended up on a cocktail of psychiatric drugs - the side effects of which I'm not even going to bother to post (anyone interested can easily find them on the net).

This child is of a genius iq claims the mother....when I was growing up in the 70's we did not drug our children - but did we have genius kids - who got bored in a class of their peers and caused mayhem. They were sent to schools to cater for them.

This child - well - for most of us hospital is the place we go to be cared for. Not for this kid - hospital is punishment and a threat constantly hung over his head. And while this mother is impressed by the stream of diagnoses to explain her son's behavioural issues - anything apart from her poor parenting - I have one for her.

Münchhausen Syndrome by Proxy.- an attention seeker who will use her son to get it. Evidence? This awful article.

This shows how important a debate about mental illness is. It's hard enough to get a job for a kid, if he hasn't got a mother that is dead-set on creating a paper-trail that will prevent him from getting employment in the future. Just because he's acting out a bit as a kid. I'm also very skeptical about mothers that never mentions the father of a child. What's going on with that?

reply to post by nidstav


Yep - this seems to be a classic case of transference. Her, transferring her own inadequacies and issues onto her son - poor kid.

Those drugs she's happily pouring down his throat will go a long way to explain his extreme behaviours.

reply to post by nidstav


Good point about the father. I wonder what he was or is like..

Originally posted by nidstav
This shows how important a debate about mental illness is. It's hard enough to get a job for a kid, if he hasn't got a mother that is dead-set on creating a paper-trail that will prevent him from getting employment in the future. Just because he's acting out a bit as a kid. I'm also very skeptical about mothers that never mentions the father of a child. What's going on with that?

That's a really, really good point. If that kid is miraculously able to some day straighten out and become functional, all a potential employer has to do is google him. Oh, spazzes out and goes after people with knives.. NEXT!

Terrible choice.

Although the story itself is interesting.

Is there any evidence or news that Adam Lanza was even mentally ill? It it just suspected because of his actions?
I know mental illness covers a very large spectrum of disorders and illnesses, but sometimes mental illness isn't even a factor.

I honestly wonder if any of you actually read this story. This is a child who is seriously mentally ill.

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

It is NOT normal for a 13 year old child to take a knife and threaten you with it over overdue library books??

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

He needs to be in a psych ward or in a home so that he can be properly diagnosed.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

Instead, the social workers suggestion for her is to put her son in jail so he's in the "system"??? I've been through this. My daughter is 17 and severely mentally retarded. She was put in the system. HA! It did NOTHING for her. Not a single nurse on duty gave her her seizure medication for the two weeks she was there. That even made the Sheriff running the jail irate. My daughter is so severely disabled, at the time she could not bathe herself. No one would help her. So for two weeks she went without a shower. The jailers refused to help her with her menstual issues, as did the nurses. Both put it off on the other. Finally, the inmates got tired of it and helped my daughter!

The mentally ill/autistic do NOT belong in jail. They belong in a home. There was NOTHING available for my daughter here where my daughter lived. My husband was under the impression there was nothing wrong with my daughter and asked me to send her to him. So I did. Once she attacked him and his girlfriend he got to see just how much help she truly needed. She bounced between 3 psych wards before finally being placed in a wonderful autism home that she loved for 6 months. With therapy, schedule, fixing her medication, and behavioral modification, she's back on track. THAT is what this boy needs. NOT jail, and certainly NOT bashing this mother. When you live her life, and you deal with what she's dealing with, than and only then can you say what a crappy mother she is.

Some of these children are attacked by noise, and thoughts, and fabric, and lights, and all sorts of sensations all day long, and they get frustrated and they take it out on their families. And yes, they repeat names they hear other people say. After my daughter's two week stay in jail, my new name became Mother#. But she had NO idea what it meant. Learn more about it before you bash them and their families please. Thank you.

reply to post by allbab

I AM a gun owner. Stuff it.

This thread is about the article in the OP.

If you want to talk about the victims pick one of the 50 threads already open on the subject.

On topic, I posted this article on other threads. Just think how many more are out there.

Originally posted by DarknStormy
reply to post by nidstav

 

Good point about the father. I wonder what he was or is like..

edit on 17-12-2012 by DarknStormy because: (no reason given)

As for the father, some men have a hard time dealing with the situation, so they bail, leaving us to clean the mess. I was there last year. I got beat a LOT by my daughter because I couldn't FORCE daddy to come home. I got choked Thanksgiving Day last year because I couldn't MAKE daddy call. These children don't understand why daddy is no longer in the picture so they take it out on those closest to them----Mom.