Some Parents Make Me Want To Scream!!!

reply to post by smyleegrl


I am thankful that your students have you; because without you and your influence they have no one to teach them about what a good education means; how important a career is etc.

My heart goes out to you and the children in your class that are so neglected by their parents (or whoever is taking care of them); I am thinking their caregivers were not brought up right either; and the cycle is repeating itself.

Your students have you as a good example and you can show them a way to get a better life eventually.

Many blessings upon you for spending money so they can have school supplies etc.

To me (and I suspect to many, many others) you are a wonderful person who has a lot of respect and trust.

Originally posted by smyleegrl

How do you fight that, ATS?

There is only one way really. Do whatever it takes to instill a sense of self-belief. The children you teach are very young and impressionable, at an age when they still worship the ground their parents walk on. By the time they reach adolescence and have come to hold their parents in contempt, seeds sown in their younger years will have room to germinate and some of your former students' lives may even blossom!

I cannot agree with some other posters in this Thread, that their poor pay is somehow the fault of those in receipt of welfare assistance and I do not agree that a public campaign that demonises welfare recipients could in any way benefit the children of such families.

I do think that schools and teachers should be trained to recognise and report the signs of inadequate parenting and that a condition of continued welfare assistance could be predicated upon failing parents to attend parenting classes as well as family activities groups that the children attend along with their parents.

As to all the comments about flat screen tv's etc. I wonder how many have been purchased through credit? Being in possession of stuff does not necessarily mean outright ownership, just another sucker who is prepared to shoulder debt to some lending institute. If it is offensive that people who are not working can access credit, then the system that relies so heavily on debt to create wealth is at fault and not those too weak to deny it it's lifeline.

"HUMAN RIGHTS" Has spawned two words which were hardly ever used 60/70years ago

and i think people were more responsible, respectful, hardworking and caring then.


The words


ENTITLEMENT....Someone who thinks that they are 'owed regardless'...a notion or belief

that they are deserving of benefit or reward


SHAMELESS...the lack of a painful emotion causing the feeling of a strong sense of guilt ,

embarrassment, unworthiness or disgrace


There are too many people who do not take responsibility for themselves these days and

it's contagious

That REALLY pisses me off, however, it makes me feel that much worse for the children. It seems to me "parents" like that are very likely all about themselves. There is little doubt in my mind these kids are getting the brunt of this lifestyle. If they are horrible children to teach, then my blessings to you. I hope it doesn't come off shortsighted but have you thought of moving to a different city/district? Better yet a different state. What STATE do you live in if that is ok to ask?

I'm not in the habit of bestowing *Stars*, but in this case, your thread was amazing, and articulate !! Very well written.
We all know who you are talking about, we also know the mindset of this group, or groups, and we all live not too far from these types. The United States has encouraged these types of lifestyles for decades now, just shuffling the particular entitlement names around, adding, and renaming others. But the system is still one of an entitlement lifestyle where education in success is of little importance. And of course its a lifestyle where fraud and illegal activities flourish. This is the throw away generation, the individuals that will have no future. Theres a saying... and it goes.. "if you carry someone on your shoulders forever, they will never learn to walk for themselves". As heartless as it sounds, our country has got to change this, and it will mean near starvation for some, but if you wont work, you wont eat. Or have clothes, or cell phones, or SUV's, or liquor and drugs, or houses. You won't have anything except homelessness. And it will be your responsibility. There are no 'free lunches' We are not socialists....yet, and people who are willing to work and contribute to society should not be burdened with those only along for the free ride. Of course there are those who will truly need help, but will use as a hand 'UP' not a handout. But they will show by actions that they have value, that they are contributing members of society, just temporarily down for the moment. Help will allow them to rise out of their situations. These are the people who 'Deserve' help, and not those who choose handouts as a lifestyle while they loaf around and 'expect' it, or even 'demand' it. SO OP, STAR FOR you, excellent post.

This is the reason why so many great teachers leave education...
Don't let the apathy that surrounds you get you. If it does, than maybe it would be time to go elsewhere....???
I know how frustrating it can be. I home school because originally my daughter at 7 was being bullied because she wasn't *in the system*. My son who is in 1st grade goes to public school and is now being bullied, being called *gay*. Its heartbreaking......I'm out of work and do not receive any assistance but many on my street are exactly what you describe.....

OP- I know exactly what you mean about these people. And I must say Im surprised and pleased that some of the more "left" ATS members have not posted here about how they dont believe you, because Ive seen them do this to others. I even posted a reply once about seeing someone in a grocery store buy $400 worth of steaks and junk food with food stamps, then get into a new SUV, and I was met with responses like "I dont believe you", and "that story seems unlikely".

I also agree with the poster who said most of these kids are a lost cause. I have to leave my garage door closed while my little boy is outside riding his bike because the neighborhood kids will come into my garage and just help themselves to what ever they want, and they dont see anything wrong with doing this! We have to many generations that have learned to live like this and it wont change anytime soon, and if we want it to change it will take something drastic.

Most of the houses on my street ( a court with 4 houses in the court and 8 on the street leading down to to the ct.) are own by the same guy,( my landlord), and of the 12 houses nine are section 8. I pay $800 a month, but the sec. 8 houses are $25 a month an the gov pays the rest. Lots of kids in every house, and it doesnt appear any of the parents work.

reply to post by smyleegrl


First off, you are amazing! i know you feel like giving up, but you cant! you are all some of these kids have! teachers are so important! you are these kids hero! Your effort of going above and beyond is so stellar! I know you probably feel like it is breaking you, but the kids will learn and grow from you. teachers (especially good ones) are as important and influential as the parents. Keep up the good work! Keep changing lives for the better and know that you are making a difference in so many kids lives! You deserve an award! i wish more teachers were like you! thank you!!


and for what its worth.. I agree with you on everything you said! My daughter just started school and i see this all the time. One boy in her class, his only meal is school lunch! while his mom has her nails and hair done, an iphone, a nice car decked out with rims and tinted windows. and when i try to offer the kid food of anything, i get in trouble?!?! its so crazy! Most people want to help these kids, but the parents take everything and leave them with nothing! its so horrible!! i would do anything for my kids, i go without so much just so they can have what they need and a little of what they want. i dont understand how a parent can take from their child. its so wrong!

Don't get frustrated. One thing that I've learned is that sometimes we have to be tough on those in our community in order to make the most positive difference. Set strict boundaries for yourself in order to stay on the right side of your peers opinions and go to town on these folks. Don't be afraid to let the gentleman know that you paid for his kids trip right after be squanders his money at 7/11. Sometimes an idiot just needs to be told he is an idiot! There is an art to dealing with others this way but you will find that it is amazing how much of a difference it makes. You will feel better for it and it WILL make a difference, especially after others take your lead and start participating. it is a great art to teach your students and kids as well. Just make sure you do it in the right way.

I have not read this thread yet but when i have a chance i will tell you all
a true SAD SAD story about my grandson. But not for a few weeks as i am very tired. Book marking for later

Originally posted by Hr2burn
That REALLY pisses me off, however, it makes me feel that much worse for the children. It seems to me "parents" like that are very likely all about themselves. There is little doubt in my mind these kids are getting the brunt of this lifestyle. If they are horrible children to teach, then my blessings to you. I hope it doesn't come off shortsighted but have you thought of moving to a different city/district? Better yet a different state. What STATE do you live in if that is ok to ask?

NC is where I live. Moving isn't feasible right now....

I am from Canada and don't have a lot of experience with government assistance (Welfare, ect.) But I completely see where you are coming from, OP, I couldn't agree more that the frustrations you are experiencing are a by-product of people being coddled by the system.

The only time I have ever, personally, been given assistance from the government is through EI (UI) and that is only because I am currently (and have been once before) on Maternity leave. But I have friends who keep trying to pressure me into cheating the system. Applying for things like "Stay at home parental wage benefits" and lying to the government to make it seem that I am a single parent, as to get more assistance from them.

These people are my friends but their behavior is disgusting to me. If my common-law partner and I cannot afford to feed our kids, pay our bills, then we ask for assistance from family. If family cannot help then we MAKE IT WORK. I would never ask for a hand-out from the government. I would never go on welfare, unless it was because my family would wind up homeless. I have friends on welfare that don't work because they do not want to... not because they cannot find work.

So, OP, I feel your anger and agree. Something needs to be changed because it is unfair to those children that their parents are lazy or self-centered. I would never want to be in your position, dealing with that everyday... And if that parent with the IPhone was someone I was dealing with, I would have taken her phone and shoved it where the sun don't shine. How rude.

Double Post. Click Happy.

First off, while it may feel like you are not making any change, please know that even if you help only one of your students to break this cycle, then you have done your job well. You may not ever even know it, but trust me, you will have an impact on your students. They need strong role models in their lives and you are providing that for them.

With that said, the "how" is easy to explain. They can afford iphones, flat-screens, hair, nails, etc because they know how to play the game.

Let's say for example;

Woman 1 has a baby with Daddy 1. She goes on welfare. She claims the father of the baby is unknown, a one night stand or Daddy 1 doesn't work a regular job that can be traced to take out child support.

Woman 1 claims that Daddy 1 doesn't live with her, but in reality, he does, so now they have unreported income that is untraceable.

Woman 1 has more babies. May be with Daddy 1, may be Daddy 2 or even a Daddy 3. Regardless, her welfare amounts increase with each child and because of the backlog on investigations, even if someone turns her in, nothing will happen to her.

The cylce repeats because the children learn the game well.

How do I know this? Easy, I know someone who does it, brags about it regularly. I've done my duty and turned her in for welfare fraud. Not a thing has been done to her and she continues to collect the money, only working as long as she needs to keep her case worker off her back. People like her, makes me angry that my tax dollars provide her luxury items that hard working people can't afford.

Sad really, the money the leeches take from the system could do worlds of good in the hands of the people who really need help. Our disabled, our working poor and our elderly.

Originally posted by smyleegrl

Originally posted by Hr2burn
That REALLY pisses me off, however, it makes me feel that much worse for the children. It seems to me "parents" like that are very likely all about themselves. There is little doubt in my mind these kids are getting the brunt of this lifestyle. If they are horrible children to teach, then my blessings to you. I hope it doesn't come off shortsighted but have you thought of moving to a different city/district? Better yet a different state. What STATE do you live in if that is ok to ask?

NC is where I live. Moving isn't feasible right now....

Me too..........

reply to post by smyleegrl


Having at point in my life to accept public assistance,I can say that most of the people on welfare really do need it and are in desperate straits.But I do remember seeing those that played the system quite well.They had alot better clothes than I did and I was trying to apply for jobs.

I think how welfare needs to be over hauled is to 1. expand the welfare to include things like toilet paper and cleaning supplies (if they haven't already).Even the poor need to clean etc.2.NO MORE CASH, No money for anything.It's way too easy to use for things it wasn't intended for.3.Housing and utilities are free,the gov. can pay those for them.4.continue to give the school vouchers for the kids so they have supplies and clothes.As well as free school lunches.

Once you cut off the source of money for them it won't be profitable for them to be on it.And in case your wondering why so many are on it,they DO cut you off after 4 years.In other words once you have a child that is 4 years old you are cut off from welfare.Therefore they get pregnant just before that child comes of age.This repeats all through a woman's child bearing years until shes too old to have anymore.Therefore I believe there should be MANDATORY birth control.If your going to depend on the government to support you,then the government gets to have a say in your reproductive health.Don't like it? Get off welfare.That simple.

reply to post by Dimithae



Here in St. Louis they have "link" cards. Which is just like a debit card for the food stamps. Problem is, they still sell them for cash and just get another card the next month. Also, these cards can be used damn near anywhere. I have heard of some states that have these cards allowing them to be used at fast food places.

I think what frustrates alot of us is that people on wellfare live better then we do. Where is the incentive for these people to even work?

Our entire society has an entitled attitude. The government programs are merely the enabler to the problem. We have been taught that everyone needs to be even, regardless of the amount of work or effort that you put in. People truly believe that they deserve it or are owed it somehow. Unfortunately, because our society is a materialistic one, being even means having the smart phone and driving the new car. The saddest part is that they seem unable to see the true needs around them because we have been taught that it is appearance that matters, and our selfish desire to have no responsibility what so ever.
I see alot of the same issues in my area, though I don't work in the schools. It is sad to see a kid walking around at -20 degrees with holes in their shoes, talking about the new video game he got.
We need to instill a true work ethic in our children again, the concept that we need to work hard to take care of our NEEDS and then earn our WANTS. We also need to teach them the distinction between the 2. Finally, because there is always someone who needs a hand, and we all do at some time, we teach them to unselfishly help those people anyway. We do not have to answer for their possibly misguided behavior, but we have to still answer for ourselves for turning a blind eye to a true need.

Thank You, on behalf of all of us, for taking the time to care about and educate our children. You make more of a difference to our future than many of us can ever come close too. Kids are not easy creatures sometimes either.

Originally posted by restlessinMT
Nothing will change unless we redo the welfare system. I do believe people should be able to get a helping hand in times of need but way too many people are abusing this system. Hard working folks are paying for their laziness and getting tired of it.

However I do believe there will be repercussions because generations have grown up dependent on the government and now they feel entitled to it. So sad! I still say let them figure it out. They need to start taking care of themselves not the rest of us.

So true Restless, and i think your Avatar is very cool

women on welfare should have to take birth control or face debtors prison for weakening the nation.




wanna have a baby?.... get a job