Some Parents Make Me Want To Scream!!!

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
HOW does one get assistance if they can afford the luxuries of life?!?! People need to learn to budget and LIVE on it or do something with your life and work for the things you want instead of expecting everyone to just give it to you.

Drugs. Many of them sell drugs and shoplift/steal.

Lets not forget on top of the EBT/foodstamps/welfare ... many of these parents also get child support.

One can also take in foster children and get money from the government as well. I call these "child farms".

reply to post by smyleegrl

Sorry, I didn't read beyond your OP, but I was wondering if when you say "you" pay for their school supplies, do you mean out of your pocket or the states?

Originally posted by smyleegrl

Beez, this is very good advice. There's just one problem....if I do this, I'll most likely lose my job. And I need my job (at least until I write a hit novel, haha).

I've rocked the boat for the past two years. We have a new principal, who started last year, and I've stood up to some of the more "crazy" schemes. I've also been very vocal about the problems with social promotion, mandated testing, etc.

I've written the newspaper with an anonymous editorial one time...everyone guessed it was me. They said they could tell by the writing.

So how to bring pressure without losing my livelihood?

Lemme think on that.

Originally posted by intrptr
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

Sorry, I didn't read beyond your OP, but I was wondering if when you say "you" pay for their school supplies, do you mean out of your pocket or the states?

My pocket.

The state's budget is so small that teachers literally buy the materials we need. I do get a stipend from the state....$70.00 to spend for supplies that has to last an entire school year. As you can imagine, with 20 students, $70.00 doesn't go far.

Most teachers spend their own money, how much varies by classroom and state. But consider this: About six years ago the state froze our pay, so no pay increase. At the same time, our insurance costs went up and benefits went down. On top of that, they cut the classroom budget from $100 to $70. Considering that we have to buy our copy paper, that eats up most of the budget. So we're screwed from both ends.

I'm sorry for going on and on about the money, but its nice to vent. I knew education didn't pay a lot, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Sometimes I think I should have stayed in pharmacy school.

Originally posted by spaceg0at

women on welfare should have to take birth control or face debtors prison for weakening the nation.

wanna have a baby?.... get a job

Just one question...what about all the baby daddies?

Ah, yes, the saga of righteous outrage at the phenomenon of the Welfare Queen.

This boils my blood as well, and while some posts in this thread make the optimistic claim that "most" of the recipients of public assistance really do need it, I would state that "most" implies 51% or more. Alright, I'll give you 51%. I don't think the percentage of legit recipiants - nationally - is all that much higher though.

In more conservative areas such as the midwest and parts of the south, sure, but once you get into the urban areas I would suspect that the percentage of abusers is very high.

I know of one multigenerational "clan" of people (living mostly in a poor rundown rural midwest town) who are VERY VERY skilled at working the system. They know ALL the programs and use them liberally, and have raised their kids to do the same. They see it has their entitlement, they feel they are owed it.

A friend of mine got into a bind once. Prior to him getting into this bind, he had married a girl who was related to this system-working clan. She proceeded to get the 411 on all the programs available from her relatives.

He told me that in no time she had them signed up for a program that paid their mortgage. Another that paid their utilities, another that paid for his schooling, another that paid for food, another that paid for health coverage for them and their kids, and one that put cash in their hands. Probably others too.

He was in awe and he told me that if I was ever in a bind, just ask his wife and she would help me get "set up" with the works.

Basically he was 100% supported by the system and was wanting for nothing major during that time.

Of course he did work for cash under the table as well, for his dad actually, on the weekends. In his mind, he appreciated the help but felt that he still needed to work in some capacity even though he was a full-time student, husband and father.

He went to college and finished his degree, got a job and all was well then.

Perhaps that was a happy medium story. He WAS in a bind, and intimate knowledge of the system helped him to truly get to where he was able to be more self sufficient.

If he hadn't got onto the complete regimen of assistance, which he had zero knowledge of, would he have been able to take the time to go to school when he had a family to support? Heavens no.

As far as the OP goes, I admire the selflessness to help those ungrateful kids out of her own pocket. I don't know whether I would do the same.

To continue the discussion, the level of opulence that people see - Driving escalades on 22" rims while using food stamps and carrying iphones - THIS, my above anecdote, is how it is done.

When one has ZERO expenses - Every requirement for living - rent, food, utility, insurance, etc etc, is paid for - any other income, cash job under the table, selling excess benefits, drugs, gifts, so on - goes to the bling and the toys.

To me, if I had no self respect, no moral compass, no traditional upbringing, no "pride" of any kind - heck yeah, that would be the life.

Eventually, though, this system will run out of working people to tax. In fact, it may already be there and we don't realize it.

For people who think the rich don't do this, think again. I did intake for the welfare office, I know how it works first hand.

I actually had a couple who tried to say that their parents rented a room from them, in their house, but did not receive any money from their children, the homeowners. That the parents were on their own and needed assistance.

Since I previously worked the whole county, going into people's homes, I knew exactly where they lived, a subdivision of mcmansions that started at about 1.5 mil

I also have friends who have worked soup kitchens where businessmen roll up in their corvettes, to get their free meal.

People get mad at welfare recipients, who are cheaters. But don't get mad at the businesses who have phantom headquarters in other states in order to evade paying state taxes.

I can assure you that the white collars steal more money in a few hours from the taxpayers, then all the welfare queens combined in a year.

reply to post by MystikMushroom


If you receive child support, you can't receive cash assistance. One or the other. If you are a mother and apply for cash assistance (TCA) you HAVE to apply for child support. When that kicks in, then you stop receiving tca.

reply to post by nixie_nox


I saw this happen in the pharmacy where I used to work. There was a program for low-income families called "Tenn-Care" and was supposed to be used only by those who qualified via economic status.

So imagine our surprise when city officials came to the pharmacy with a Tenncare card......and it wasn't just city officials. A lot of the wealthier people somehow got their hands on a Tenncare card. I'm still not sure how.

We called the fraud line, lots of folks got in trouble...but just a slap on the wrists. Big deal, right?

I think its just a certain mentality of people who will cheat.

reply to post by smyleegrl

My pocket.

Wow. Awe...admiration. I knight you and crown you and wish more people cared as much as you seem to.

The state's budget is so small that teachers literally buy the materials we need. I do get a stipend from the state....$70.00 to spend for supplies that has to last an entire school year. As you can imagine, with 20 students, $70.00 doesn't go far.

So the people that represent the people don't care, and the parents are apathetic, which leaves the kids in the middle and wanting. There it is. Thanks for the rundown. It must be really hard from where you stand to deal with it, since they are in your charge and see their plight everyday.

I'm sorry for going on and on about the money, but its nice to vent.

I don't think you need to apologize, given the circumstances, I would be frustrated too.

Its easy to pass judgment from where I sit, but I'm not in your position. I think anyone who teaches children is the cream of the human race. I don't have any useful advice for you. In the end the kids are still there in the classroom everyday, waiting on somebody... anybody to help show them the way. I'd much rather they be there with you in an empty room with no pencils or paper than sitting at home or running the streets.

Even if you and they have nothing to work with, they still have you and thats whats needed for them right now.
I know, dumb answer.

If you see people commiting fraud, call the fraud hotline. Some areas are better investigating then others.

As for the phones, there are programs for those who receive assistance to get free cellular service. Or, people can latch onto a family plan. I did this forawhile for only 10 bucks a month.

And the obnoxious SUVs. I had a coworker who was also on assitance. (Government didn't pay her enough). She got 7k somehow, inheritance maybe. So they were going to buy a car.

Now it didn't matter that they were dirt broke, and on assistance. They wanted the Escalade. We have all seen them. We reminded her that it only got 12 mph. She didn't care, it LOOKED good.

Now,this girl got her escalade, but I would see her sitting at work, sick, because she didn't have ten dollars for a prescription. She didn't have nice clothes, or she couldn't order lunch because she needed gas money. But dang she looked good in that escalade.

This is a disease of urban culture. Where self esteems are so low, that they only thing they have is "looking good" which is why they don't care if their kids read or go to college. Everyone is judged so harshly by the outside, that the inside no longer matters.

Even if someone tries to be successful, they get taunted, attacked, and degraded. Which was one of the reasons that the school voucher programs was started, because kids who were smart or trying, were bullied into failing.

I had a coworker who went to school to be a nurse/midwife. She did this to help under privelaged mothers have more education and support during birth. She got ragged everyday for trying "to be like the man".

Ever notice that the only thing they consider succefful is a music or football career? But you are beaten down if you want to be a doctor?

No ripping away of welfare will fix that.
It is a sickness that has taken a hold of a culture, with no way out.

I have personally witnessed the passing on of welfare to a daughter that has turned 18 with her two babies. People don't understand that this is the only life that they know.

Getting out of the lower class like that, looks as feasible as me buying the Taj Mahal. Yes, one or two make it. But that is out of millions.
When all you see is aunts, mothers, sisters having babies at 15. And brothers, uncles, and cousins going to jail and gone most of the time. Just who do you look up too? What example si there? There isn't one, that is it.

This is the only lfie they know.

The problem is much bigger then the welfare.

Smylee, your story could be my cousin's story. A kindergarten teacher in a bad neighborhood, who had to buy her own supplies. Not even having paper.

Second day of school, the kids break the computer.And the parents are too dysfunctional to care.

She would approach a mother about a kid's learning problems and the mother would say: i am a single 19 yo mother, what do you want me to do?

There is no giving up, they never had anything to give at that point. There is no up in that life.

She would drive through the neighborhoods and see the kids playing on the street at 11 pm at night.

Even if the kids don't appreciate it, you gave a kid a few hours of normacly, that they will never have.

Thats horrible, Smylee. Your a saint for paying for these unfortunate kids who sadly have morons for role models. YOU should be their role model, but alas, kids look up to their parents for guidance.

And yet those same kids are wearing Nikes to school. Mom can spend 45 bucks to get her hair done but cannot come up with the money for school supplies. I see it too.
That Mom was a real piece of work though. I feel ya honey.
Me, I got work clothes from the thrift store so that I could get a computer for my kids when they were in school. I have it now though so it paid off. LOL

reply to post by smyleegrl


That's the political quagmire teachers are in. We can't even voice our opinion at local school board meetings for fear of reprisals if you talk bad about school policies. I know a lot of teacher who say "wait until I retire, I'm going to write a lot of letters to the editor exposing the political corruption in our school district." Unfortunately, I'm still waiting to see those letters.

Administrators and school boards know how to stack the deck against a teachers who speak out. It's very much the same with private businesses, where whistle blowers are either fired or laid-off.

There isn't anything more frustrating when you're giving 110% toward your job, utilizing as much creativity and technology to motivate your students to learn, but are than told to lower your standards because the school failure rates are too high. So teachers are asked to turn out graduates that don't even have enough skill and aptitude to hold down a basic job. The majority of good teachers won't compromise their beliefs that "students must earn the grade." It's just not fair for those students who study, participate and work hard on a daily basis to make the grade, while the political system wants to reward apathetic and lazy students with a passing grade.

reply to post by smyleegrl


How do I fight it? Better question is how do I get in on it?

The problem is that people are living above their means. They buy or rent a home that they cannot afford and the same with their vehicle. Credit was too easy to get and people got over their heads. Society dictates that kids need cell phones or they are deprived. I know people in this class and the parents are always trying to show each other up. My daughter has to have expensive birthday parties for the kids or their friends defriend them. I don't know where all this BS started, it is going wild. It is the lower middle class trend of the time to overspend on frivilous things. And don't start me on the cable package or internet speed competition. These people think they are better than others because of internet speed? I have an antenna and it is crazy that some people think I am deprived. I had the dishes, both big and small, but now there are ten channels available here so who needs a seventy dollar bill every month. I'm out of the competition, let the idiots buy something that is free. Best of all, I don;t spend half my night surfing through the channels. Too much choice is not good.

Originally posted by coop039
OP- I know exactly what you mean about these people. And I must say Im surprised and pleased that some of the more "left" ATS members have not posted here about how they dont believe you, because Ive seen them do this to others. I even posted a reply once about seeing someone in a grocery store buy $400 worth of steaks and junk food with food stamps, then get into a new SUV, and I was met with responses like "I dont believe you", and "that story seems unlikely".

Excuse me?? This isn't a "left" or "right" thing!!
I'm about as "left" as they come and I'm in full agreement with her!!

Why do SOME PEOPLE have to make EVERYTHING about politics???

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Just to show the other side of the coin here. My middle son has a minor mental disability and he works but he has a simple job that does not pay much. He gets food stamps. He eats very poorly as he cannot make the small amount he gets go very far. He buys all of his clothes at thrift stores and keeps things for years and years because he cannot afford to replace his stuff. He has a small savings account which he uses to buy Christmas presents for the rest of our family. He's not living high on the hog, he scrapes and scrounges. But I am glad for the little amount that he does get and he is greatful for every cent.

reply to post by mblahnikluver


I didnt know that there was ever a time when food stamps were only for certain foods. I know they were never for stuff like beer or cigarettes but I didnt know there were certain foods you could not buy.