Whoa... OP, that is a strange assertion! Or at least, surprising, to me.
I have never thought of love as anything even close to something like that- that sounds like the OPPOSITE of love to me?
That sounds more like desire of possesion? The kind of thing that makes the object of your desire suddenly undesireable once you have it (and can only
become interesting again if you lose it.... becoming "just somebody I used to know"
I have a very good friend like that. The man gets these beautiful women falling in love with him, and he is always into them, until they move in, or
otherwise commit themselves to him. Then he just loses all interest and it falls apart. He's destined to be alone all his life.
I think this is a drive that is built into males, to encourage them to seek out new females and territories for procreation, and it had to be strong
enough to push them into conflicts for it (to weed out the weak and slow genetics). It is as strong as womens drive to seek out security and
But I do not consider this as love.
I have come to see love as a way we identify with others, or with things. We project a part of ourselves unto them, we recognize ourself
That describes the altruistic experience of loving everyone (recognizing your own endless potential within allows you to recognize parts of yourself
As well as more exclusive types of relationships, where a woman may porject upon her mate her own "inner male" (animus) and a man might project upon
his mate his inner female (anima).
Note that under this theory, people can be in conflict and still love each other! Fighting can be just as much done in love as can kissing!
In my own experience that kind of relationship can also evolve with time to being able to be aware of your projections and separate them from the
other individual as well- recognizing their separateness from you.
You can re-integrate the qualities you projected upon them. The game of projection allows each to act out inner mechanisms and work on achieving
When you get to that stage, you don't feel any more need to "possess" or limit the other at all anymore.
It feels like the most pure kind of love possible, (to me). That is pretty indestructable, no matter what the circumstances.
That is why I say that I feel the possession type of desire, where the other is an "object" of your desire you project what you do not want to keep
upon, it really the opposite of love.
edit on 1-10-2012 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)