Would you take a suicide pill if you...

Got to the age of 90 and you had massive health problems and you are suffering from dementia?

The reason why Iam asking is I work in a old folks residential home and most of my old dears unfortunately have dementia or alzheimer's and many are in a great deal of pain all the time and it got me wondering that these once proud and amazing people (still are amazing though so brave) would not of liked to be in their situation if asked about it in their youth.
Today I looked after a 96 year old who is suffering from dementia and she is just in so much pain (we do give her morphine patches) and she wet herself and turned to me and said "Iam so ashamed please just let me die" I reassured her that I don't mind helping her and she still has plenty to live for. But when I had got her settled I went on my break and had a little cry.
I love my old dudes and dudettes as much as my old Grandpa and just want to help them in the last stage of their life.
But I really hope they sort out a dementia cure because I could live with the pain of growing old but the pain of not knowing why you are in a care home, or thinking your wife is coming round for tea (even though she died 15 years ago) and then being told "Iam afraid your wife died" and having to go through the heartbreak again like it was yesterday.
Plus the fact that in a few years there will be many many more old people (I will be one of them) and maybe not enough places to house them etc I have come to the conclusion that I will top myself before I get to old or to demented to not be able to do it myself.
Thoughts?

God bless you for doing the work you do with such compassion.

I've never understood why it's okay to euthanize sick and dying animals, but not people. Yes, I understand the abuse that can occur with euthanasia, but if a person is in that much pain and mental anguish and CHOOSES death, we should honor that request.

Yes, definitely. Like you i have volunteered at nursing homes and seen the pain and misery some of these people go through and it makes me sick that we cannot respect their wishes if they are asking to die. no different to someone who is in an accident, and the only way for them to live is to be a vegetable in a bed peeing ans pooing lying down and not knowing wtf is going on , but no we cant allow you to pull the plug and let them die in peace.

reply to post by boymonkey74


I applaud you for the good care and caring that you are giving to these aged people. As I read your article...my heart saddened for them...and also you have inspired me too. What about? I think I am going to volunteer in a nursing home (maybe more than one) and visit the residents that live there...I am thinking maybe it will help. (If there are such volunteer positions available).

As for taking a pill...I just am not a fan of suicide; but yet I am not a fan of suffering either. What is the solution? I really don't know.

reply to post by caladonea


I hope you do, I think we are undermanned in my care home and we do have some people just coming along to volunteer but they tend to only come once.
Heck even if you just read them a story (we have to little time to do alot of therapy's) or just come in and sing a song they will love it.
If you can get past the smell (What do you expect they are all incontinent and we are forever changing them) you will be able to hear some great tales and you will be amazed at the lifes they have lead.
For example one of my old dudes (he tells me Iam his best mate then crys telling me Iam wonderful to him *shucks* ) in a moment of clarity told me about the time he killed a young german in ww2 and he regrets that he had to do it and he says it has haunted him since or an old dear who became an engineer to help design tanks in ww2.
I just wish I had a magic wand to make them all better

That's sad mate, but full credit to you for paying attention to these folks and doing your best.

As for suicide......I've been taught (in a spiritual sense) that you'll only hang back in limbo until your time was up as God meant it to be. I know exactly what you mean and feel for ya, as I watched one of my grandads go through mouth cancer (had half of it removed), he was very ill and spent a good couple of years in a home really depressed and incapable of doing anything for himself until he passed on. Real tough guy during his better years though.

I've always thought that maybe if the sons and daughters of old folks could let them spend their remaining days living with them, after all......they did raise and love us, that would ease a lot of their pain and suffering. I've already told my mum I would never let her go in a home if she went down hill, and that I'd do my utmost best to look after her here with me and the Mrs and kids. I've already planned to set up another place on our block (have a couple of acres). I think some people just see old folks as a burden and don't have the time to care, even if It's their own parents. Granted these folks might not have anyone but.............damn, that's a tough one though......I still don't think suicide is the answer.

reply to post by Stonesplitter


I talk alot to the relatives and while some seem to just want rid of their old mum or grandpa most would love to look after them but because of full time jobs etc it is not safe for them to do so.
Most just can not bear to see their mum the way she is and when they come round to visit it really hurts them when their own mum can not remember who this person is.

We euthanize animals to relieve their pain, and make their passing as comfortable as possible.

If I had let nature take its course for my 16 year old dog,
He would have been in agony for hours, or even days before that one final seizure ended his life.
I still feel terrible about having to do it, But it was the right thing to do...

Why we can't legally do the same for humans is beyond me,
But when MY time comes, If I still have the faculties to do so,
I would take my own life in a heartbeat.

reply to post by boymonkey74


I'm all for euthanesia as long as the descision to do so has been put in writing while the person in question is still fully aware and able to make the descision for him/herself.

It's actually required by law here in the NL that such a document is signed before euthanesia is allowed to be used.

Both my parents have "opted out" this way when they got diagnosed with cancers that ended fatal. First thing i did after being witness to the suffering they had is get my own future euthanesia arranged. So yes, i would.

reply to post by boymonkey74


Yeah, I can understand that. It's really just the way society is geared. I guess I just keep hoping for some big change where everyone has the time for everyone else and their own..........ain't gonna happen just yet though....call me optimistic!

reply to post by Romekje


You Nederlanders are so far ahead socially on so many issues I may have to move back to the Netherlands.
Iam interested to know what percentage of people make a living will like your parents and yourself?.
PS sorry for your loss dude

reply to post by boymonkey74

Originally posted by boymonkey74
reply to post by Romekje

 

You Nederlanders are so far ahead socially on so many issues I may have to move back to the Netherlands.
Iam interested to know what percentage of people make a living will like your parents and yourself?.
PS sorry for your loss dude

Thanks for your compassion, it's pretty hard at times, but life does go on

I would love to answer your post but i didn't really get what you meant in the bolded part.

ETA: move BACK to NL?

reply to post by boymonkey74


Yes I do support euthanasia, only for those who are either clearly too old or are suffering from cancer, etc. I mean come on you pay taxes all your life the one thing the government could return in favour is a dignified death of their own choosing.S@F

reply to post by Romekje


A living will is a document what you and your parents signed (I think) for example if it was allowed in the UK I could make a will saying if I get advanced dementia then I would like someone to euthanize me.
Oh and I lived in Eindhoven for a year in 2000 when Eindhoven FC won the league (Great party) but had to move back to the UK because no one would rent 4 british lads a 4 bedroom property.
I have been thinking of moving out there again because I have recently divorced and I love dutch women

reply to post by boymonkey74


Ah, now i get you, i don't know about %'s but i think they would be pretty low. To be honest whenever i talk to people about this they tend to be amazed that i have a euthanesia document signed and ready ever since i'm 26 years old (im 30 now).

It shows that people don't want to think about their deaths, which imo will often lead to unneeded pain and suffering when the time is there, which could very well be tomorrow for anyone.

A living will and the consent for euthanesia are 2 seperate documents and shouldn't be confused. Even if it's in someone's will, euthanesia is not allowed to be done when there's no official consent form, which needs a doctor present at the time of signing to judge the person's state of mind.

OT: im from Brabant myself, a small town about 30 mins away from Eindhoven, which is an awesome city imo, and our women are pretty nice indeed

reply to post by Romekje


I lived in Best a short train ride from Eindhoven, Best water park was soooo cool

I love Wilhiemina square the pubs were cool (sorry for spelling it wrong dude )

I think we should be allowed a little happy pill and end our ride when it cannot enjoy life anymore. Well that has always been my plan. I do not want to burden my family or complete strangers to help wipe my butt when I have an accident . As the OP mentioned and I think was hinting at is it heart breaking to see people suffer. ( you are a good person OP not to many people anywhere can take a job on like that I really respect that )

It should be up to the people to end their own lives. With me I have made it very clear to my family that if i am in a accident and brain damaged pull the plug . If I am old and cannot enjoy life anymore then I will go to my favorite spot in the mountains and overdose myself .

Or we can open suicide booths like in futurama

To many people fear death and causes much suffering in a later years in life. Waiting for a miracle from gods or for big pharma to come out the next day with the magical cure to their suffering.

After watching a family friend finally pass after 15 years of being a veg after a head injury, keeping him alive was immoral IMHO. But his mom thought god would of saved him.

reply to post by freedomSlave


Yeah I agree with you, I just hope it doesn't happen like Soylent green gulp. (even though if my body keeps peoples belly full I may change my mind about that).

Oh and stop saying Iam a real decent guy all for doing my job, (I hate compliments and you could all do it) but thanks anyway

reply to post by freedomSlave


Iam sorry for your friend that must have been heartbreaking
You also have raised the point that Religion says it is wrong, is that the major stumbling block we have to change the law etc?

reply to post by boymonkey74


yeah laws have to be changed. But also peoples personal beliefs ( that will not happen anytime soon)
If someone has life insurance if they take their own life while suffering when they are old and grey it voids the life insurance they have paid into their whole lives.

terri schiavo

Here is a case in america where life support turned into a big religious debate over ethic.

doctors quit

Here is a case in Canada where doctors have walked off the job after refusing to carry on with the mutilation of carving out bed sores of a man for ever how long he has been hospitalized.