posted on May, 22 2012 @ 09:57 AM
A friend of mine told me about ATS a year or so ago. i looked around for a week or so and decided i'd join. wrote a thread that got a lot of air time
and got me fairly involved in this site. more involved than i had ever hoped for...
as i got involved in ATS, i began to notice that many people took this site (and other conspiracy sites) VERY seriously. i repeatedly saw elder
members talking about taking a break. kept seeing thread after thread about taking a break. i could understand the need to take a break but couldn't
see how people got so caught up that they let it effect their emotional state, in real life. people joke about these sites making you paranoid but
it's really not that funny of a joke, seeing as how accurate it is.
it's just a website! or...is it? it only exists when you create it...when you sign in. if you invest your energy into a website, take the time to
create an account, build a reputation, establish a social "network" and develop your "cyber ego", you have invested your energy into that website
and if you maintain this said cyber-ego's reputation, you are, again, spending your energy. honestly now, was this the best way for me to have spent
i had been seeing issues with the internet for quite some time...felt an apprehensive draw to it, almost like going on a ghost hunt or chasing after
something that could kill you. something told me to tread lightly but still "give it a whirl". wrote a really big thread that seemed to reach a lot
of folks. and so the journey begun...
months later, ATS had become a regular part of my life. on almost everyday, unless i got really busy in real life for a few days or something. LOVE
all the info on this site but i can tell you this much, around the time i actually joined and started posting, i had started to notice the energy of
the site change. i'm sure that if there are any long standing members reading this, you can attest to this change (you surely have seen it more than
so life "in the office" sure was demanding...keeping up with threads, people's comments, replies, U2Us...geezus. i even attracted my very own cyber
stalker who was threatening to take my life. yeah...that person is sick but you know what? that means i invested enough of my own energy into a
website that someone would single me out to attack. that, to me, tells me i'm too involved in a website. it's just a website. it's like a channel
on the tv! it only exists when I want it to. (and hey cyber stalker...if you wanna threaten me here, go ahead. the power of suggestion is a powerful
tool indeed but unfortunately i'm a bit too disconnected for your little thorn to have worked it's way into my hide!)
unfortunately for me, i am very empathic, to levels that i wish i could turn off. simply being involved in a website that had turned into a bully
pulpit and heckling contest was really getting under my skin because whatever energy had taken over this site was starting to effect me. not cool.
life sure was starting to get stressful. i felt a storm building inside of me and one morning, i was woken up at 3 in the morn and told it was time to
"vent". went on a war path with the internet for about a week. pretty much signed outta online life. started thinking...
started asking myself one day why i had taken on this war with the internet. this is what just rolled right off my tongue: "what have they ever given
the people that was good for them?"
what have they given us? vaccines? tv? public water? public school? (and the list goes on and on...) everything seemingly "good" that they give the
people ends up years down the road being found to have been a tool for either mind control and/or population control. so why did they give us the
internet? why do they still allow us access to all this "knowledge"? is it for the same reason as all the smart phones and portable movie players?
is it just to keep us occupied and complacent, almost like a pacifier?
how much good are you doing in the real world by doing so much good on a website? it's one thing to make every post count but it's a brand new
ballgame when that website's able to make an impression on your emotional and mental health. i'll tell you this much...since i've "cut the cord",
life is different. just like when i quit watching tv years ago, now that i've stepped away from the forum boards and social media in general, my mind
is firing on a different wavelength. life is finally getting peaceful. i'm not stressed every day. i am a weird one in the fact that i kinda "take
on" energies that i'm around, so being involved in a big website really took it's toll on me. for you senior members, however, i'm sure this forum
has taken it's toll on you a time or two, no?
i had always had a hard time meditating. always felt like there was some kinda block. within the first week of me stepping back from the web, i
started being able to step into a meditative state within a few minutes. since stepping back from the web, my meditations have been the most intense
and longest lasting pretty much every time. i've also started dreaming. now that may not sound like much but i pretty much never dreamed. (yes, i
know they say every one dreams but not every one remembers it...whatever). i usually would only dream like maybe once or twice a year and i've been
like that my whole life. over the past month, i'm having dreams more nights than i'm not. none of them seem like amazing stories i really need to
share and analyze but just the fact that i started dreaming around the same time i started being able to meditate just around the same time my life
started to get peaceful just after i stepped back from the web. coincidental timing, no? feels kinda like a layer of fog has been wiped away.
yes, there are great things about the internet, too! i've learned more from it than any other source. it's been a wonderful aid for my growth over
the past couple years. i've only known one person in my life that had enough interesting things to talk about that they could hold my attention for
more than an hour and i met that person here and they ended up being the most precious gift to my development and helped me grow in ways i didn't
know i could. so i do see the positive side of things.
i just feel that people are way too engrossed in social media. and don't go feeling all high and mighty! ATS has become a self-glorified facebook
where people dance for stars and sing for flags. it's not the hard hitting facttablet it once was. and i'm not even getting into all the trolls and
schills and whatever other clever names they're known by. when did the internet become such an integral part of day-to-day life?
i still don't know what to make of the web but deep down i feel it's vampiric in nature. it requires your energy to manifest within it. really makes
me think twice about what i say. i still look at ATS every day, i just don't sign in. i figure if i come here for info, there really isn't any need
for me to sign in, unless i feel i really have something to add.
now i am known to take things a lot more serious than most folks. i also tend to see things a little bit differently than every one else, from a
completely different angle than most. perhaps i'm looking too deeply into this, perhaps i'm not.
all i know is that ever since i stepped back from the web, feels like i've reconnected with a part of myself.
we are our own creators. where our energy is focused, there it will manifest...