Started taking medication... now I feel even more suicidal than before...

I took several anti-depressants , they never worked for me

when I get a suicidal thought, as weird as it sounds, I fight back as if it is a demon

I say "get out of my head demon, I have god in me"

it usually works. weird thing is I am not religious. it just sort of reminds me the thought is not a natural part of me, it is a foreign invader

just keep talking, keep looking for help


peace

reply to post by MrUncreated


Psychiatric medication often has the unwanted effect of actually increasing the very problems it's supposed to treat. It's not uncommon. Take it from someone who has been on them all. Go back to the Dr. immediately and have them change your prescription. As for the kidney pains, were you maybe passing a stone? Painful as all crap.

reply to post by MrUncreated


The secret is to STAY POSITIVE always. No matter what, always try to see the positive in EVERYTHING. No matter how negative the situation. If you focus on the positive (lesson, new learning, new awareness and understanding) from what is happening around you, you gain thought all of your probem you should feel damn good about yourself -

YOU WERE BORN WITH CANCER - WHO ELSE can say te the courage to be still living day to day - you are a VERY strong person, just feeling a little vulnerable which is easy to understand due to your situation , but you are still VERY strong IMO. The source has put you through this test and that fact that your still alive - means you are PASSING with flying colours. I believe in YOU!

As for MEDS stay off them. Common sense tells you that if you takings meds for a long period, your body getsused to it and adjusts to them; leaving you completely dependant on the medication to function without it. I'd recommend an all out switch to marijuana, because it helps people with the soul and body seperation. You are nYou can game many postive intuition, as well as learn MUCH MORE things about hourself that you never knew.

reply to post by MrUncreated


The secret is to STAY POSITIVE always. No matter what, always try to see the positive in EVERYTHING. No matter how negative the situation. If you focus on the positive (lesson, new learning, new awareness and understanding) from what is happening around you, you gain thought all of your probem you should feel damn good about yourself -

YOU WERE BORN WITH CANCER - WHO ELSE can say te the courage to be still living day to day - you are a VERY strong person, just feeling a little vulnerable which is easy to understand due to your situation , but you are still VERY strong IMO. The source has put you through this test and that fact that your still alive - means you are PASSING with flying colours. I believe in YOU!

As for MEDS stay off them. Common sense tells you that if you takings meds for a long period, your body getsused to it and adjusts to them; leaving you completely dependant on the medication to function without it. I'd recommend an all out switch to marijuana, because it helps people with the soul and body seperation. You can gain many postive intuitions, as well as learn MUCH MORE things about yourself that you never knew before. Thats when the journey of life starts, once you noticed how awesomely special you were created - Im sure you will realize that this world was created for you, and you only.

DO NOTET THE TPTB get their wishes, because suicide is a punishable offence.

all love and peace to you.

reply to post by MrUncreated


You know what a perfect profession/diversion would be for you? A stand up comedian..bitter, jealous, spiteful, hateful. Perfect. Could channel all your negative energy into that sh!t. Like most comedians do. Many comics are also manic depressive/bipolar...Jim Carrey for instance. Your post already sounds funny/sarcastic, despite it's serious tone.

reply to post by MrUncreated


I lived through zoloft withdrawal and believe me no one has been as depressed as I was when going through that hell. I did not even know what was happening to me, I just felt like I was dying. I was on 200mg for three months, then abruptly stopped taking them and nearly died. I went from around 200lbs. to 140 in a few weeks. I was having panic attacks on a daily basis and just felt miserable. I KNOW what it is like to be depressed. I also know how to get better, without meds. READ READ READ. The more I read the less lonely I felt, also just focusing on something simple like cleaning your house or building something puts your mind to work, and not allowing your consciousness slip and fall into that chasm that exists within each one of us. DO NOT GIVE UP!

Also I suggest you watch this clip once a day:

reply to post by MrUncreated


My friend, im going to try to get this across without breaking the ToS here on ATS.

I suggest that you stop pumping you body full of chemicals that we dont even understand, that dont help anyone, that 5 years down the road will be recalled after a few thousand people commit suicide due to "unforseen side affects"...

Go with what nature has provided us. Two words: herbal medicine.

Mother Earth has everything figured out already.

Originally posted by QueenofWeird
reply to post by Th3MissingLink

 

The medication available right now for psychiatric disorders has suicide as a side effect in the first days/weeks of using. Unfortunately newer and better medication isn't here yet. The sick brain needs to literally process the new drug and only after a balance has reached side effects disappear (at least the worst ones) and the beneficial effect start.

Having said this, it depends on which class of medication. Anti psychotic drugs work immediately by surpressing the parts in the brain that go haywire. If such a medication is making somebody worse than another type is given.

I agree with your post except that there are some newer and better anti-psychotic medicines. Latuda worked great for me. Fanapt is another one that was approved in 2009.

My opinion is stop taking your meds. Even if it's helping your pain or whatever, your life is more important. Dont think too much into things. Do whatever makes you happy and focus on that and don't give a # about anything but having a long great life with sick memories. Suicide is never the answer. There is always a positive way out

reply to post by MrUncreated


It is said(and this is my opinion as well) that we are not given any situation that we can not handle. You have proven to yourself that you can deal with these situations that come your way. You are being stretched and molded into a more wonderful human being.

I know this because of what I was taught (family) and has proven to be true for me. Whether others have the same opinion who knows...what does all this mean to you and how are you going to further your life on earth is up to you. Free will is and always will be an option.

Hang in there!

Stumbling blocks can be turned into stepping stones.

reply to post by MrUncreated


GO SEE A DOCTOR. Many of the same medications that are supposed to prevent depression can cause depression. DO NOT attempt to self regulate your own dosage, go tell a doctor exactly what you are feeling. God bless, I wish you a long and happy life.

Originally posted by 8fl0z
reply to post by MrUncreated

 

My friend, im going to try to get this across without breaking the ToS here on ATS.

I suggest that you stop pumping you body full of chemicals that we dont even understand, that dont help anyone, that 5 years down the road will be recalled after a few thousand people commit suicide due to "unforseen side affects"...

Go with what nature has provided us. Two words: herbal medicine.

Mother Earth has everything figured out already.

What herb does Mother Nature have that treats psychosis? Sorry to disagree with you. Some people have severe mental problems that Mother Nature can't fix. When you tell someone who is suicidal to get off his/her medicine do you realize you are putting their life in jeopardy? Having spent more time in the psyche ward than I care to think about, I have had many conversation with people who were there because they went off their meds. A lot of people who got off their meds to go natural end up in the morgue.

Originally posted by mayabong
I wont give you any mystical answers but a very simple suggestion.

I've always been a depressed and very nervous person. Recently I came across a book called "Your Bodies many cries for water"

I started upping my water intake to maybe over a gallon a day. Like magic my depression is gone. My anxiety is gone... I've been biting my nails since I was in third grade all the way down.. for the first time in my life I have nails (with dirt under them too).

Read the reviews of this book on Amazon.. lots of people have totally gotten off their medication for anxiety and depression (among other things) just by doing something as simple as upping their water intake.

I'm amazed that something so simple has changed me..


Anyways just a suggestion. Don't kill yourself without trying it though.

Cut your intake of alcohol and coffee if you attempt this.

edit on 20-4-2012 by mayabong because: (no reason given)

Maybe thats because water contains Flouride; the main ingredient in prozac and paxil!

Looking in my drug book (I am going to college to be a nurse, so this is not meant to diagnose you whatsoever... this is just FYI, what I know kind of information, and information you could find on your own on the internet), It is used in bipolar disorder to regulate pre and post-synaptic responses in the brain, thereby regulating release of neurotransmitters that affect mood, although the exact mechanism of action is unknown. It is used to treat seizures and I am guessing in your case, bipolar disorder. Side effects do include suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and this is not uncommon before the drug regulates in your system. Hope this helps you, that and I have thought about death, and I have always had the philosophy that nobody really knows what happens after we die... it could be worse or better on the other side. So hang in there, and I wish you the best and pray to all that is good in the universe that you will be OK

Hold on....





I can't add much to the advice that has been given already,but can tell from many of the replies that there are good people willing to share their experiences and let you know that you are not alone.

Try real hard to look for the little blessings around you. You'll always have some kind of difficulties. We all do. Some are just more obvious that others.

Your posts brought tears to my eyes. (And so does this song!)

Originally posted by Manhater
reply to post by AliceBlackman

 

You just gave all the reasons why my niece should be taken off Depakote. Knew it was the drugs they were giving her. She acts the same you describe.

edit on 21-4-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)

So sorry to hear that the Depakote is not helping your niece, it took about 3 months for it to work for me, but did make me feel sick and gain weight during the adjustment period.

I was initially diagnosed with clinical depression and just put on an anti-depressant.. (celexia .. SSRI inhibitor)..which actually lifted my mood the first day ... which the inexprienced P-Doc didn't recognise as a big big warning sign...3 months later I was a huge mess, which is when I got them to give me the anti-epilipic in addition.
(I did my own research and disocovered anti-seizure meds seem to work much better than lithium for rapid cycle bipolars / schizoaffective people).

The Depakote (Epilim in Europe) actually fixed the up/down mixed rapid cycling / suicidal / hideous mental images and odd behaviour for me, which I had been suffering from for 25 years, also my migraines stopped and the awful racing thoughts. Like I said I was only on it for 3 years, and stopped the anti-depressant 2 years in, I also went to cognitive therapy once I was stabilized, a totally invaluable life skill.
7 years after stopping and I'm still good.

For me Depakote saved my life and I really do not care if it's taken even 20 years off my life because I would have been dead for 10 already.

Hope your niece gets some relief.

reply to post by sad_eyed_lady

Well hmm, do you think your life isn't put in jeopardy with pharmacy in your liver???

reply to post by zilebeliveunknown


you are correct about how danagerous some meds are, I had to go for regular blood tests when I took Depakote to make sure it wasn't damaging me. However at that point after having suffered for so much of my life it was a risk I wanted to take.

reply to post by zilebeliveunknown


I'm talking suicide. Added stress on the liver from medications can be dealt with my taking herbs like Milk Thistle,
eating foods like broccoli that support liver health and liver flushes. I would have died in 1977 if it weren't for my medications. You want me to die? Take me off my medicine plain and simple.

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Recent studies show the absolute necessity of microminerals and proper PH in the body .

With a mineral deficiency hormonal production is impaired or stopped .

www.trueenergynutrition.com...

With proper PH Cancer will not grow in your body .

www.acidalkalinediet.com...

Modern medicine is a Scam a guessing game under the pretense of knowledge .

They don't really understand the myriad minute interactions just some observed reactions by some people .

GMO's are pure Death and will genetically alter your physiology .

And for God sake don't microwave you food .

www.naturalnews.com...

Good Luck OP !

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