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Started taking medication... now I feel even more suicidal than before...

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posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 04:16 PM
reply to post by sad_eyed_lady

Don't get me wrong, it's my belief that psychoactive drugs just seemingly helping patients, but key factor is trully desire for healing.
I certainly do not want you to die and I wish you a happy peaceful life.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 04:33 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

well in one of the darker periods of my life, i to thought of cashing it in. but these two song helped me a lot.
these and left handed "cigs".

just hold on things have to get better some time. and tell the doc you don't want to take this medication he's got you on.

hope things work out for you.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 04:43 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

i know how you feel on the world being against you,i've had a few hard challenges myself.
To change your life in a positive way you need to meditate and use self hypnosis techniques,you can buy tapes and listen when you meditate.Whenever i felt the whole world was against me,i found meditating always pulled me out of it.Also when you think negatively it attracts negativity into your life more frequently.
All the bad things that have happened in your life that you may feel guilty or bad about put them in a kangaroo court and laugh them out and wipe your mind clear of the attention you give to depressing thoughts.
Other things that may help are exercise and herbal supplements.I would ween myself off the medicine using these techniques,after a month you will notice a difference but turn it into a habit and you'll be o.k.
I wish i knew you personally as i would guide you through it.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 04:45 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

Tegretol or carbamazepine can cause kidney damage. Please see a doctor right away. Quit taking it in step down doses.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 05:47 PM
There have been many who gave you fantastic advice and I want to add some too. I was diagnosed having manic depression at 11 years old and could not make the thoughts of suicide leave my head. I was placed on many different medications to no avail. The doctors told me I would have this for the rest of my life...they were wrong. I am going to repeat what a few here have stated because it did work for me.

First step to healing, welcome these thoughts and tell them to bring it on...give it all it has to take you down, because you have no fear and you will overcome!

Two, understand that you will need to train your mind to COPE. Look at it like this. Let's say a 200 pound barbell is too heavy for you to bench press. Consider this barbell to be your depression. You cannot bench it now, but with time, it will be easy. Take it day by day and go until you can cope easily with these thoughts. It is reprogramming your mind.

Third, smile as much as you can. Research has shown when we smile, the brain releases endorphin's and makes us feel better. I smile everywhere I go and smile and say hello to every person I come across. In fact, I don't care how bad my day is going, I smile and my day ALWAYS gets better. When someone says, " How are you?" Say, "Great, thanks!", even if you feel horrible. I promise you that this works.

Fourth, take magnesium supplements before bedtime. You can get a bottle for three dollars anywhere. My best friend is a recovering alcoholic and he called me every day, crying uncontrollably and told me he slept 2-3 hours a day. He did this for three months. I told him to take magnesium an hour before going bed and it will allow him to fall asleep and within a couple days, he would feel a little better. Magnesium is a neuro-muscular relaxant, so it will relax his mind and body so he can get sleep.

Rick sent me a text and said, "Michael, thank you, thank you, thank you! I slept eight hours straight!" Within three days, he said his alcohol withdrawal tremors were gone and he no longer feels depressed. This was four months ago and Rick is still feeling great. He went from being Baker Acted three times, to a happier person. Eighty percent of humans are magnesium deficient and this causes many problems, particularly with our brains.

Don't worry about taking too much magnesium because our bodies excrete the excess out with the urine. Hang on there! I have not been depressed in 15 years and no longer take medications for it. Of course, I have circumstantial depression at times, but who doesn't. Keep your head up! YOU WILL OVERCOME! I promise you.
God Bless You!

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 07:11 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

It may be more helpful to take psychotropic medications instead of an anticonvulsant. Carbamazepine is rarely used for psychosis anymore, its usually used for seizures! Maybe you need a second opinion and find out if you are having a type of allergy to it since you are having kidney pain!! Good Luck.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 07:24 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

I find it more than a little odd that many anti depressants and anti psychotics exhibit symptoms like depression and a myriad of other ailments leading me to question why they were prescribed in the first place. Here are a list of known symptoms for the drug you have been prescribed.

Rare: Chest pain; difficulty in speaking or slurred speech; fainting; frequent urination; irregular, pounding, or unusually slow heartbeat; mental depression with restlessness and nervousness or other mood or mental changes; muscle or stomach cramps; numbness, tingling, pain, or weakness in hands and feet; rapid weight gain; rigidity; ringing, buzzing, or other unexplained sounds in the ears; sudden decrease in amount of urine; swelling of face, hands, feet, or lower legs; trembling; uncontrolled body movements; visual hallucinations (seeing things that are not there)

More Common: Blurred vision or double vision; continuous back-and-forth eye movements
Less Common: Behavioral changes (especially in children); confusion, agitation, or hostility (especially in the elderly); diarrhea (severe); headache (continuing); increase in seizures; nausea and vomiting (severe); skin rash, hives, or itching; unusual drowsiness

Rare: Black, tarry stools; blood in urine or stools; bone or joint pain; cough or hoarseness; darkening of urine; lower back or side pain; nosebleeds or other unusual bleeding or bruising; painful or difficult urination; pain, tenderness, swelling, or bluish color in leg or foot; pale stools; pinpoint red spots on skin; shortness of breath or cough; sores, ulcers, or white spots on lips or in the mouth; sore throat, chills, and fever; swollen or painful glands; unusual tiredness or weakness; wheezing, tightness in chest, or troubled breathing; yellow eyes or skin

Aching joints or muscles; constipation; diarrhea; dryness of mouth; headache; increased sensitivity of skin to sunlight (skin rash, itching, redness or other discoloration of skin, or severe sunburn); increased sweating; irritation or soreness of tongue or mouth; loss of appetite; loss of hair; sexual problems in males; stomach pain or discomfort.

No wonder nothing is working for you.

Go see your Doctor and insist on a new prescription, one with less damaging side effects. If this is the drug with the less damaging side effects you could look at treatments like natural remedies as a less damaging alternative and regular counselling so one can compliment the other.

All the very best with your continued treatment. Please keep us all posted.


posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 07:34 PM
Look up orthomolecular psychiatry on the web and then find one and go. And stop eating tofu.

Seriously, when I was in high school a classmate of mine was completely insane. She dressed funny, spent all of lunch period huddled under the table with her hands covering her head like she was waiting for a bomb. She was incomprehensible. It was impossible to have a conversation with her. She was extremely paranoid. She went around mumbling to herself all day things that if you heard whate was saying made NO sense. Her parents took her to many psychiatrists who tried everything and nothing worked. Then they took her to an orthomolecular psychiatrist ( one who deals in nutrition and supplements) and he put her on a strict diet and for some odd reason she actually stuck to it. I guess SHE wanted to get better. And 3 months later she was normal. It's worth a shot.
edit on 21-4-2012 by Hillarie because: To add more infor.

They can take hair samples and test it and see exactly what you're missing and what toxins that affect the brain are built up. So it's not snake oil. It's valid.
edit on 21-4-2012 by Hillarie because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 09:08 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

If you're supposed to die, then unfortunately, you cannot escape it. It's probably karma for your actions in a previous life.

If you pray, then you can prolong your life. But eventually, you STILL have to pay for it later.

I say suffer now and hope that another programmer, who is good, runs a simulation that is purely good, and that you reincarnate in it, or perhaps, you'll eventually become one of the programmers(or 4-D being) yourself!

P.S. It's tough to tell the one that runs this universe is good or evil, or that it's his job. I mean, if he puts in the error-correction codes to ensure that the universe doesn't self-destruct, then he's probably good. Think of him as the disciplinarian to the principal I guess.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 09:21 PM

Originally posted by Manhater
reply to post by AliceBlackman

You just gave all the reasons why my niece should be taken off Depakote. Knew it was the drugs they were giving her. She acts the same you describe.
edit on 21-4-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)

Oh I think I remember a thread about this... hopefully this solves your problem.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 10:02 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

First of all--DON'T kill yourself, it will solve nothing and only throw your whole life away, and hurt everyone around you, and devastate them. Suicide is the WORST option ever, so don't!!!

Secondly, speaking as a conspirator, the global elite have a lot of plans to make a good deal of the world's population unhealthy at birth, by affecting your gene pull, vaccines, shots, medications, and ect in order to establish what they call "population control." The unknown source you're talking about that wants you dead is the government, not God. Medications often zombify, and even make mental illnesses or conditions worse when taken, and that's what they want for you--to be mindless, like the medications usually make you, or to be deranged or kill yourself, like they sometimes make you.

And thirdly, I understand how you feel, so don't feel alone. If you ever wanna talk, hit me up... I'm a friend

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 10:07 PM
I normally don't comment on these types of threads, but I think its important that I try and relate something.

The pain and suffering / grief / despair you're feeling is very real, unfortunately. But understand that the depth of your own suffering, however deep and dark, hopeless and intolerable, will pass. You won't expect it, you might not be looking for it, but it will eventually pass.

Your entire life is a test. I can't say if its a sick joke, something designed or intended, or if we're all unintentional victims of someone or somethings careless plan, but a test it is indeed. You may be a big ripple or a tiny one, but your life has meaning, even if through your suffering even the most trivial of events influences someone elses life or yours is changed drastically.

So surf it out. Ride the harsh wave of life to the end. For all we know, everything we learn in this life is preparation for something bigger after we leave these empty husks that break so easily and decay so quickly. Don't leave before its your time, as you will likely be unprepared for what comes next. Give yourself every advantage possible, as it costs you little more than physical suffering to do so. You've always known that you were born to die anyways, so why shortchange yourself voluntarily? Ride this baby to the bitter end and learn as much as possible.

My 2c.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 10:10 PM
ok, tofu hamburgers (still tryna dress it like meat,, meh)

ok first off.
I think that the medication is actually just speeding up what you know already, thus trying to show you quicker, your inherent nature of yourself, to yourself. How is this now working for you? Do you want to run away from yourself?

Face Yourself

You Obviously are (or secretly) enjoy it or you would change or stop allowing it to keep happening,

It may sound harsh.
However, Its whats really going on, IMO*

edit on 21/4/2012 by R0B3RTF1SH3R because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 10:28 PM
Tough times dont last
but tough people do!

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 11:14 PM
reply to post by MrUncreated

I feel sorry for you man. :l. You should know that medication comes with side-effects. Medications are made of different chemicals. The only thing I can say is you should try other treatments. You should try medical cannabis to help you. I'm just saying and giving advice.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 11:19 PM
If you think you feel bad now, don't stop taking the medication. You must take it for the rest of your life.

It is designed to make you feel far worse if you stop.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 11:28 PM
I'm going to promote the nutritional route as others are but add that it there is a proven link between food sensitivities and psychosis. Especially with gluten and casein. If your body is unable to properly breakdown components of these foods they enter your bloodstream and act as "toxins" and can create all sorts of psychological problems including depression, schizophrenia etc. There are other components to the connection as well and I would HIGHLY recommend reading the book Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Natasha Campbell-McBride. It details the process by which certain foods and gut dysbiosis can cause a myriad of severe psychological problems. It also gives a detailed protocol for healing.

Please read this!

Also these drugs are notorious for exacerbating problems. While you should definitely consult your doctor on a change of drugs, I encourage you to very seriously look into the food connection as well, as in many cases of psychosis this is the root of the problem. People have "cured" themselves, by maintaining a diet their body can handle as well as supplementing with neutraceuticals that their body may have trouble utilizing to begin with. The problem usually begins in the gut. If you are one of those people whose symptoms are a result of gut issues and food intolerance you may eventually be able to wean off drugs if you correct the underlying problem.

Look into that book. And as others said, lay off the tofu. It screws with your hormones and has many anti-nutrients in it.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 11:30 PM
The only spiritual advice I can give you man, is think of your mother.

And if you're mother's a snip, then talk to her about it. Your family loves you, and they can only help you if they know where you're coming from. And if you talk to her about your differences, you'll come to understand each other better and you'll feel a sense of respect from not only her, but yourself, and life in general.

Cause if you can stand up to your mom, you can stand up to anything, including God, and fate, and whatever's holding you down, bro.

I hope that helps. I've felt borderline suicidal more than a few times, and, it's not easy getting better, but those of your blood matter most, and usually that's where a lot of guilt comes from when it comes to measuring yourself and your worth/input/purpose and such.

I wish you the best.

posted on Apr, 21 2012 @ 11:49 PM

Originally posted by R0B3RTF1SH3R
You Obviously are (or secretly) enjoy it or you would change or stop allowing it to keep happening,

It may sound harsh.
However, Its whats really going on, IMO*

edit on 21/4/2012 by R0B3RTF1SH3R because: (no reason given)

Ignore this person, they have absolutely NO idea what it is like to suffer severe depression, and it's idiotic advice like this that can create more problems than they seek to remedy.

As a person who suffers depression, I can fully understand that this is not something you can just wish away, or that it's something you like.. thats bloody absurd. jesus..

Go back to the doctor and tell them of your side effects. It appears that carbamazepine takes about 5-7 days before your body can properly metabolise it and the side effects should lessen.

It must be nice for people in boats to yell at the people drowning "Oh just swim, you lazy person."

posted on Apr, 22 2012 @ 01:45 AM
reply to post by MrUncreated

Sorry to hear that, Some medications work for some people, some dont. Go back to the doctor/psychiatrist and tell them this. Ask to change medication..

Otherwise up the dosage.

When i switched medication to Cymbalta i thought it did good, but after about 3 weeks i wanted to kill myself more, ended up having a breakdown, was probably a day or two away from killing myself. Mum walked in, got me going to the psychiatrist. pretty much tripled the medication i was taking so i could survive the week before i went to the psychiatrist. It helped. Obviously everyone is different.

Changed medication to something different. It was much better, to begin with... again... had to have another change. For me the other change was no medication, as i'd been on medication for 4-5 years. That change is the one i needed that time. BUT I will say it again. Anti-depressants saved my life, and getting off them also saved my life.

Best of luck buddy.

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