Ladies of ATS, your honest opinion please. Why am I single?

Maybe u are searching date with wrong sex..... try gays.

Asking why is your answer.
If you cant get a girl to go on a date, you're probley being too pushy, creepy, winey, needy, weird, socially akward, or whatever else that the majority of guys seem to be... O.o

reply to post by DaughterOfARevolver


On a side note, your post led me to look up the term "pan sexual". As per the definition, you are attracted to anybody regardless of gender continuity such as the transgendered. Heavy stuff!

The fact that you actually have to ask is a good indicator of why...

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


"I am openly bi-sexual" ... I think this can put straight women off ALOT... certainly myself,... - if they dont know that you are bi-sexual then im not sure where you are going wrong as you seem like a lovely person!!

and im not saying that because you are BI that you will not get a partner.. thats not it. im simply ansewering your question.

Maybe you need to ask yourself ... are you bi? if you prefer women then why go for a man? as they are second choice.. seems to me you are not bi.. just bi - curious and you cant expect someone to want a relationship with someone who hasnt figured out if they want a female partner or a male partner..

one other thing "getting to know them" and certainly if you make people laugh can sometimes put you in the friend category so be caerful not to be too interested..sme women/men like a chase themselves

good luck i hope you find someone! x

OP

Don't go looking for love, let love come to you....

vvv

I can say that, as a straight man, I was very shy and easily overshadowed by guys with something to prove for a long time....but instead of changing myself and being somebody that I wasn't, I just stayed true to myself until I found a woman who loved me and wanted me for who I was on the inside and out. 8 years later and I've still never been happier.

Relationships before the age of 19 are almost alll pointless.. Its a lot of fake bs.. Unless you knew thhe person your whole life of course.... But you are 19.. Relax. Dont think life is about finding a girl.. Sometimes its about a girl finding you. Life is a strange and mysterious place.. And all I can say is relax.. Be yourself.. And when the girl looking for you stumbles into your life.. Let them know you dont want them to leave. You do that by your genuine care for them and what and how you do it. Be patient.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


You are only 19!!!! Relax!

I was in my first real relationship at 19. I just now at 33 met my soul mate

Love takes time! You don't want to rush to be with someone just to be in a relationship, those never work out.

Just be yourself and don't look for love. It will find you


Good luck

reply to post by MrRamblinRose


I turn girls off by being too confident some times... having said that im never short of women either...

Beware of being over confident though, try and be more humble is advice i give myself!

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach

You're only 19?!?!
And you're worried about being single?!

Ok- firstly babe, you're YOUNG.

Second-
I'm getting the vibe that maybe the real issue you're struggling with involves loosing a certain, ahem...'V-card', if you will,
or at least stressing over intimacy experience (which is completely normal for guys your age!)

I don't expect you to answer that or anything, just want to reassure you that if it that is the case, it's the norm,
and honestly, a guy with scruples is HOT.

Plus, theres's that that whole STD-HIV-warts-preggers-HERPderp drama-
Despite what the 'cool kids' say-
Being easy is NEVER cool...
(well, maybe to the shallow, brain-dead TMZ groupies )

BUT NOT TO ANYONE WHO IS ACTUALLY WORTH YOUR TIME.

Your homebroskillets may boast about their non-existent daily orgies under the bleachers with the entire pledge class of XYZ sorority, with a packed stadium cheering them on as the mayor hands them the key to the city and it's raining dolla-dolla-billz Y'ALL!

But thankfully!-

YOU LIVE IN REALITY.

And anyone worth being with will respect you for that,

and in most cases- WILL WANT YOU MORE.

Focus on ways to improve yourself (which you should do for yourself anyway, but it's always great to have some added incentive!!!)
i.e- Hit up the gym more, check out some museums, take dance classes- SERIOUSLY-
DANCERS ARE HOT! (Most studios offer trial classes- try a hip-hop session, or even better- take BALLROOM lessons)

Basically,
All of this comes down to one of the principle aspects of human psychology-

PEOPLE LOVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEMSELVES.

And I don't mean "love themselves" in a dick-ish narcissistic egotistical way,
I mean taking CARE of yourself.
Pursue your dreams/life work/calling.
Set out on a quest to better yourself,
so that you can be an invaluable asset to society,
and leave a truly meaningful and admirable legacy!

Basically- what she said
||
||
V




Focus on this, and everything else will fall into place.
After all,
WE ONLY GET ONE SHOT.

Be true to yourself.

These are your most formative years- the frontal lobe, our personality center-is the last part of our brain to develop-
it is where we determine our spiritual/religious beliefs, develop perspective/long-term planning/think about the LONG term consequences of our actions, impulse control, etc...
Basically, it's our inner YODA,
our WISDOM headquarters.

And you have a good 5-10 years before it's fully developed.

As for us chicks, we really aren't all that different from you fellas-

Just SWITCH UP THE GAME-

Develop yourself (as addressed above).
Hold back a little,
be mysterious,
let them come to you, let them work for it-
this is why us ladies swoon over Rob Pattinson's character, Edward Cullen, in Twilight!
(Myself included! ha )

And when they do-

...though this is one of the most cliche cliches ever,
well,
the truth is the truth is the truth......

BE
YOURSELF.

You're young and this is your time to experiment,
figure out what you really want in a partner,
date & play the field.

Believe it or not, it IS possible to do that without coming off as a player or a jerk-
just be straight up from the beginning.
Ladies (or Guys- if that turns out to be your pref)
will RESPECT that
(...honesty and forwardness are rare, and highly desired qualities)

Again, much of the romantic pas de deux comes down to
loving the you that YOU love!

If you don't care about/like/believe in yourself, how can you expect ANYONE else to?

By being upfront about your intentions,
in a polite & respectful way OF COURSE-
You're allowing them to make their own decision...aka the 'ball is in their court'.
If they're not interested, then hey,

it ain't no thing chicken wing!

We are only here for a blink of an eye-
so...
WHY SO SERIOUS?!?!


One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten is this-

NEVER TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY!

EVER.

For seriouslyyyyy...

NEVER.

If you can truly wrap your head around that and embrace it,
it gives you perspective-
and you'll see that everyone you meet is just another weirdo humanoid like you and I-
We're all just trying to figure out this beautiful disaster that we all call "LIFE".


I hope this helps darlin
Don't stress about things you can't control- you'll be okay.
And we'll all float on

reply to post by Myendica


I got a chuckle out of this because I was 19 and she was 18 when the facts of my previous post unfolded. We had never met before, it was our first year of college and it was a love at first sight type of ordeal. I think what is most important is to stay true to yourself, but before you can do that you must know and be comfortable with who you are.

I can think of two things:

1. Between being bi and wearing 60s clothes, you probably give a good many of them the gay vibe.

2. You get to know them before making a move, meaning that the window has already passed in most cases and you have been friend zoned.

read the book" THE GAME" you will understand women, and its experience also, live you life! im 29 single and loving life, and porn, lol, no bitching and wining, lol

Sounds like you are trying too hard. Just be yourself. You don't someone to complete you.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


I think it would be very helpful, if indeed you seek an honest answer, to give us just as much detail on your shortcomings and faults as you see them, or as others have described them to you.

reply to post by eyesontheskies


I don't cheat because I've seen what it has done to my parents. I do prefer women, but I am still attracted to other males. Why is their a double standard that women can be bi but not men? Why would I hide who I am? It's not being honest to the girl, or myself.

Honestly, you are probably not going to find a 'real' girl until late 20's or early 30's and that is because women in their 20's are ABSOLUTELY attracted to a$$holes. This is because they have self esteem issues, attention issues, daddy issues, the list goes on.

By the time females hit late 20's/30's SOME of them start to realize that there is something very wrong with that approach. At that point alot of girls do indeed want and will APPRECIATE a genuinely good guy. That's where you will shine. Until then, you are only 19, so have fun, figure yourself out, make your mistakes, grow, stay true to the truth and try not to ruin yourself too much

What worked for me is becoming whole in myself through God and searching for truth in Everything, then I automatically attracted the guy who makes my heart melt everyday, and he is one of the rare Good guys

I've posted this before. Here it is again with a little customization.

My advice. Take it or leave it. All of these are serious, even if they don't sound like it. We live in a superficial world.

Take a extensive shower every day.

If you're overweight, try your best to loose weight.

Look around at your contemporaries. If you find that you dress poorly compared to them, improve your wardrobe and wear the appropriate clothing at the appropriate times.

Wear only clean clothes.

If you wear facial hair and are not having success, shave. If you don't have facial hair, give it a try.

Do you find yourself wearing fedoras? Don't.

Bell-bottoms are never necessary because of "calf muscles". Really?

60's band t-shirts scream "out of touch with my contemporaries".

I still think you should post a pic.

reply to post by Thurisaz


Ok that's a stereotype, not all of us have diseases. I am quite careful about who I sleep with, and get tested.