20 Minutes until EARTH-SHATTERING EVENT!

First, you need to see this thread:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

In there, you will learn that there is a HEAVY MASS OBJECT incoming toward Earth!

This Object is currently in a gravitational "tug of war" with the Sun, and Earth is caught in the middle! In fact, the two enormous bodies (one of which is invisible because it is made of magic) have created a "gravity trough," a phenomenon that is so rare that it was invented specifically because of this situation.

At 4:58 AM, UTC, TODAY, Earth will crash through this Gravity Trough, and the results may be CATASTROPHIC! I worldwide MEGA-QUAKE will occur!

Now, new evidence has been uncovered. See, a guy I work with has a cousin whose 2nd best friend lives across the street from a man who drives by NSA headquarters on his way to work. This man has identified a ground-breaking new truth:

SANTA CLAUS has mounted a major operation to SAVE US from this cataclysm!

That's right. At exactly 4:57 AM UTC, Santa Claus will fly into the sky and create a Gravitational Bridge over the Gravity Trough, exactly wide enough for Earth to pass over safely!

So if NOTHING HAPPENS at 4:58, you'll know for a FACT that it was Santa Claus who saved us!

I love it.

SANTA CLAUS FTW!!!

And heres the official NORAD Santa Tracker!
www.noradsanta.org...

.................................................

really...

This is a waste of bandwidth....

Dude... really???

You're in the wrong section.... this goes in Rants, Hoax or Gray Area.

Santa Claus...

~Namaste

Bah, just read that was Santa Claus. Totally lost my interest now.

There is absolutely no need for this crap.

This thread needs to be deleted.

Go back to GLP. This is perfect for them. This kind of post is not for ATS.

thnx.

Wow, I must have miscalculated... I thought it was all supposed to end 45 minutes ago.

So gigantic (but invisible) Heavy Mass Objects can avoid all detection by real scientists but still pose a "threat," but Santa Claus is too ridiculous for you?

I don't get it.

Suddenly I want to get high....

How could it be Santa?

I thought he was illegal

Okay, I'm seriously amused by your thread.......if it's found in the Jokes section. It is a cute parody of what some of the more extreme alarmists post from time to time.

Laughs in this case are like real estate though. Location, Location, Location.

Originally posted by dayve
Suddenly I want to get high....

I was going to get up and clean the room, but then I got...

Heres a funny video from legendary UK satire show Brass Eye, making fun of Heavy Electricity, It likes being hit by a ton of invisible lead soup!

Originally posted by calnorak

Originally posted by dayve
Suddenly I want to get high....

I was going to get up and clean the room, but then I got...

...squashed by a heavy mass incoming object?

Santa was going to save the planet from total catastrophe, before he got.....

This is actually funny, Ashton Kutcher is that you, did we all just get punked

Originally posted by buni11687
How could it be Santa?

I thought he was illegal

Only if Santorum gets Elected,

reply to post by vexati0n


My instincts feel something coming, but I dont know what. I did buy a Emergency Radio yesterday.

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
Okay, I'm seriously amused by your thread.......if it's found in the Jokes section. It is a cute parody of what some of the more extreme alarmists post from time to time.

Laughs in this case are like real estate though. Location, Location, Location.

This, of course, is a comment that applies to 95% of the posts in this forum.

Claiming that big, invisible, undetectable things are hovering around the inner solar system (or about to be... or anywhere close) and that NASA is "hiding" them.... is also a joke.

20 MIN!!!!!!

You didnt leave yourself much time to get a decent debate/slugfest happening. By the time most people read the thread the 20 min will have gone by.

Maybe you should have said 20 days so that way you could have made the front page and got hundreds of stars and flags.

In the name of fun Ill play

So were just meant to take the word of this guy?
How do you know he really drives past the NSA every day? how do you know he didnt just google the address of the NSA?

For this thread to have any credibility we will need pics of either Santa or the guy driving past the NSA, until then I say your just another doom monger