Society and Age issues--- Teacher Leaves Wife, Kids for High School Student---

Originally posted by WiindWalker
reply to post by ripcontrol

 

Well then, how about that....

To continue my view, I say if they are in love, then let them =)

Forget what society says, it's all about YOUR life, live it the way YOU want.

California High School Teacher-Student Romance: Therapist Calls Man 'Sexual Predator'

"They're both dropouts at this point. She's a dropout from school and he's a dropout from society. We used to have a diagnosis … called shared paranoia,"

Well, no wonder they "dropped out". There seems to be a effort to see they fail.

It may not be a normal relationship, but it is one they both consent too. Why should what you or I say have gravity whether it should work out or not?

They've pretty much damned the relationship from the get-go, calling the teacher immature and saying the student is in denial. But how immature is it not admitting that a great deal of relationships don't ultimately work out, even under "normal" conditions. Sounds like someone else is partially in denial.

reply to post by OzTiger


Good for you, nice to see a marriage actually last.

As for the teacher if she's over the age 18 though i think it is wrong & just plain weird the law is the law & it's legal. Atleast he had the decency to resign though he deserves a good firing & black balling on his record. I feel sorry for his daughter who will have to go to school & hear about this or that about her father & his mistress.

reply to post by silo13


To be robbed of your innocence is tragic. Your self-esteem is flushed down the toilet. I "dated" my college professor at age 18. I was used and dumped. I was not emotionally mature and just turning 18 doesn't mean anything except your are no longer jail bait. Yeah, it steals a piece of you.

I feel bad for the wife and kids who got left in the dust. The trading the wife in for a newer model story is one I really don't care for.

Peace to all.

This is not an easy subject to debate especially if you haven't been in this situation. As I have previously stated, there is a 23 year age gap between myself and my wife, (whom I affectionately refer to as "The Child-Bride" even now when I am 73 and she is 50 - much to the delight of many) but each has to make concessions for this to work. My wife did not want children, she has little or no 'maternal' instincts whatsoever, I had 4 from my previous marriage, so that was not a problem from day one. We would mix alternatively with each others circle of friends on a regular basis and our relationship quickly became accepted. Gradually we found a happy medium somewhere near the middle of our previous way of living.
My wife ran the gauntlet of the usual good-humoured smart-@rsed remarks such as "When he's 93 you'll only be 70", "Are you having children straight away so you'll have someone your own age to play with" and (our favourite) "You'll wake up every morning with old-age creeping up on you"!
There was also the younger blokes who, thinking they were Gods gift to women, would think that my wife must be desperate to date me so would offer their 'services' to which they were all told in two words (second word 'OFF') where to go.
I took her back to England for a holiday (she being an Australian 'dinki-di') 2 years into our relationship and my parents absolutely adored her as did my children (much to my first wife's disdain) and she loved the quaint old world that I had come from which was far removed from her native Australia.
I learned from the mistakes in my first marriage which has probably stood me in good stead through my second one so to anyone contemplating making this move then have a really good talk to each other and decide whether this is just a 'one night stand', a 'casual' relationship or a genuine attempt at the 'lifetime plan'.
Have a nice day everyone.

P.S. You've seen the 'Now' photo, well here's the "Then' photo of our first date (don't laugh) lecherous looking swine aren't I?

Let me start by saying that morally, this particular case, leaves a bad taste.

It's the teacher/student thing and the leave the family for the student thing that..well I don't' like. But that has nothing to do with age. All that tells me is that he is a bit of a jerk - jerks exist at all ages.

I am 38 years old, my partner and I have been together 7 years, he is 23.

However, I was never his teacher, and I wasn't' in a relationship when we met. The age difference hasn't made any difference in our relationship. I don't' even notice it. Sure, it was awkward in the beginning, telling his parents, who are my peers. But..we were lucky, they accepted me, loved me and supported our unconventional relationship.

The age at which a human being can make mature, adult decisions varies, my partner was 16 when he decided that he wanted to commit to me. When I was 16, I was not mature enough to make a decision like that.

Oz: I liked reading your posts - it gives me courage to read about long term relationships amongst people with age differences. I truly believe that MY relationship will last ( 7 years so far) , and reading your story just confirms to me that it CAN work. Thanks

reply to post by calnorak


Would you feel the same if it were your daughter?

I used to have a problem with this when I was young but today, I don't. As a good looking 36 year old male, I know I would do a better job of caring for a young woman than most any of the guys her age. Would I use her and abuse her? Hell no! I don't think this guy is either. She certainly does not lead us to believe that.

I have a lot more to offer a younger girl than a guy her age. I used to be 18 too, so I know what most of those guys really want. I'm pretty easy going too, so if a younger girl (18-20) wanted sex or a long term relationship, fine. I can handle both. If she's ready for kids, great! If not, fine. I can go either way. I'm financially set and emotionally secure. I currently date girls between 21 and 30; there is a huge difference from dating them and most 18 year olds. However, I've been with some 18-20 year old girls who are more mature than some women my age. So what gives? If two consenting legal aged people want to be together, live and let live!

Also, 16 year old girls are prime for sex (think back to our ancestors). That is not too young. That is the age when most girls gave birth up until about 100 years ago. Today, society artificially holds these young yet sexually mature girls back. That is frustrating for them. 16 and pregnant was the norm. Her eggs with the best chance of healthy reproduction are dropped at that age. Here in Michigan, the age of consent is 16. That is not too young for most guys in their early 20's. Most 16 year old girls, love good looking guys in their early to mid 20's. I know. I was there!

reply to post by virraszto


I don't like his particular situation but I don't think I would mind if I knew he was a good man with good credentials and someone who was not leaving a family for her.

reply to post by OzTiger


Wow! You guys look like you just got off a porn set from the 1970's!

Best of luck to you and your wife.

reply to post by NowIsThe


If the situation were different I don't think I'd have too much of a problem with it. I don't care for the fact that this guy is a teacher. He is there to teach the kids, not date them. That fact doesn't sit well with me.

Originally posted by Village Idiot

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc
Ugh, What a dirty old man. Simple as, the guy is a creep.

His girlfriend doesn't seem to think so

Jealous much?

His girlfriend is a teeny-bopper with no life experience. Its no secret that teenagers often make stupid decisions, she's still got alot more growing up to do and pretty soon, give it 5 years tops, she'll mentally be in a different place and wont want to play the cute GF who gets looked after by her mature boyfriend.

And why would i be jealous? Im a 23 year old woman. This man is a creep, taking advantage of a girls lack of life experience TO KNOW BETTER.

And he also left his wife and KIDS. The guy is a DOUCHE.

Well I have a personal story myself...

A good friend of mine told me and his wife story....

The where married when she was fifteen and he was 23....

50 years later about three months after her anniversary she pass away... ( two years ago) I had to call the oldest daughter and oldest son... the children where devastated.... the oldest daughter thanked me and less then an hour and half later the family was there.... (three hour drives...) I quietly slipped out the back...


As for this situation that started the conversation...

From 30 plus years experience.....

a year in the chaps office....

You cant never tell...

The wisest course... stay the h e double hockey sticks out of it....

Love is a very rare commodity... it, like infants and pregnant women, can come through hell and survive... perfectly healthy and die...

The rule of them... take no unnecessary risk and live life...

The mother made some big mistakes...
1)tried to separate them...
2)made some b- moves ( a social term)
3)hatefully attacked male now assuming social responsibility for daughter....

points out a good reason why daughter did it... mother is worthless....
cant be relied on
and very petty

what she should have done...
1) approved of the man and welcomed him immediately
2) encourage her daughter to go to college
3) keep her mouth shut... shut eye sentry....

what this play would have gotten...
he would still be working...
young girl in college, young studs in college ( I refuse to draw maps)
approving of him might have driven daughter away from him...


If it is meant to be you can not stop it...

If she wants her daughter back
1) apologize and take down website immediately
2) get in an argument with the guys ex-wife (fill her in on the plan, women are evil when the give halfhearted efforts)
3) encourage college and pay for it....
4) tell her not to fall to the temptation of the younger guys at the college... she has the love of her life

this gives her positions
if it is meant to be, her daughter will have an education and can support herself
if not it will split them up

as for the general points
yes I wanted to talk about the age responsibility levels....

the government operates from a one size fits all, the reality is that the human creature is a beautiful bastard....

the best way is to set metric points......

if someone is able to know the difference between right and wrong
cognitive abilities to drive

how about a responsibility license... give a class of skills and where the person is at...

yes this means an eleven year old might be able to vote, drink, smoke, go to clubs, join the military exctra...

it might also mean a 35 year old cant do it...

Police: Ex- teacher arrested for sex abuse of a minor

MODESTO, Calif. (AP) - A former California teacher who made national headlines when he left his job and family to move in with an 18-year-old student was arrested Friday on suspicion of sexually abusing a different student more than a decade ago, police said.

Christopher James Hooker, 41, was arrested for investigation of oral copulation with a minor.

Police said the case stems from a 1998 relationship he had with a 17-year-old student from Davis High School in Modesto, where he once taught.

this is 2012

14 years later.... this is real fishy to me....

????????

14 years later, post announcement on Dr.Phil at that...

I stick by what I said earlier.



However the grooming aspect is an angle no one mentioned till now.

Republican Assemblywoman Kristin Olsen said her bill would prevent teachers from grooming students for relationships once they became adults. The bill would also forbid suggestive communication such as sexual text messages.

This idea of a nanny state is ridiculous...

Now I will plagiarize another poster...


Where in sam *snip* where the parents in these cases? (sorry about stealing your thnder)

Why, if they view as such a bad thing, did they not get involved earlier?

It makes me mad that these idiots are even allowed to have kids in the first case. Yes it is the parents fault by about 16 for there kids behaviors. Personalities are set by nine the next years are reinforcement years.

This is where society has stupiditis...

The guy likes women that are below twenty but just barely legal...

Before I continue, a personal note...

IMHO-
I think the teacher myself is insane and needs meds. My personal experience has convinced me that all girls go through this insane phase, where they are Bat S*&^ Insane. Every single female goes through it. By 21 the phase is over, but it seems that this guy loves the insane stage..

On the logical level I can see the emotions others have had venting but I see it as more a personal choice.

The ugly truth is at the end of the day the girls decided to get involved with the individual. No mention of force is used in any of the things I have read, till that line is crossed. No moral ground has been broken.
______________________________________________________________

I am enjoying ATS because I learned of another separation today between my logic and my opinion

IMHO- guy is insane and asking for trouble-

My logic, oh well...

First, society needs to first figure its age rules definitions a lot better. According to the laws this land operates under, an eleven year old is able to make life and death decision, and is held responsible for them (magically with an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex they can perform the same function a healthy adult of 25 with a fully formed pre-frontal cortex can)...

Yet at eighteen some magical unknown process takes place making the eighteen year old an adult and competent to run their lives... this process is unknown at this time to science but apparently law makers know this science and alchemy while applying it to everyday life

I d feel I skipped over the grooming aspect a little bit... I caught the jump but do not want to go back and edit it...


I want to see what metrics this Republican law maker purposes for defining this grooming issue.

Does it apply at colleges?

Can a teacher at on school date and adult who failed a year and is still in high at another school?

Will Dr. Phil get it on with Nancy Grace... (just wanting to see if you are paying attention )

Even though I am taking the lighter side on parts of presentation, I am left with a question.

Is lying or committing fraud to get laid going to be illegal under this law?

(dressing nice, rent an expensive hotel room, and having a limo drive you to clubs as an example)

Girls that age don't even know what real love is yet. When shes in her mid to late twenties, she will probably have a change of heart, you can only buy love for so long. I'm sure hes got her well manipulated though.

I feel more sorry for his kids, can you imagine going to school with all the kids knowing that your dads a student Pedophile.

Police: Ex-teacher Arrested for Sex Abuse of Minor

And now for the rest of the story...

MODESTO, Calif. (AP) - A former California teacher who made national headlines when he left his job and family to move in with an 18-year-old student was arrested Friday on suspicion of sexually abusing a different student more than a decade ago, police said.

Police said the investigation started after Hooker announced his relationship in February with Jordan Powers, whom he taught at Enochs High School in Modesto.

Sucks to be him huh. LOL.

Appearing on numerous national talk shows and in news interviews, Hooker and Powers maintained they didn't have a sexual relationship until she turned 18, but police are investigating whether there was inappropriate contact before that.

Powers' mother, Tammie, confronted the couple on "Dr. Phil" and accused Hooker of brainwashing her daughter.

The couple maintains that, while they met when Jordan was 14, their relationship did not become physical until she was of age, making it permissible under current laws. California's age of consent is 18.

peace

Originally posted by ambient moon
Girls that age don't even know what real love is yet. When shes in her mid to late twenties, she will probably have a change of heart, you can only buy love for so long. I'm sure hes got her well manipulated though.

I feel more sorry for his kids, can you imagine going to school with all the kids knowing that your dads a student Pedophile.

Dictionary of "Pedophile": the act of engaging in sexual relationship with an UNDER-AGE minor. In some state, that UNDER-AGE would be less than 16, others less than 17, but on the state that the incident occurred, its under 18. As far as the news goes, she is exactly 18 years old, so where exactly is the "pedophilia" here?

I have read the age law, and the guy can be, even 120 years old, but if he has sex/love with an 18 year old girl, that is still legal.

The mother was definitely not around when she was receiving TXT messages from him when she was 17 years old and all those after mid night phone calls, now that at the age of 18 she finally falls for him I dont think that she can, all of the sudden try to take it back. I mean, once you turn 18 years old, you are an adult, capable of making your own decisions. I understand that not all 18 years old are mentally capable of making the correct decisions, there is the logical part on the brain that fully develops much after the 18 years old law, but hey, the law is the law, and the law says that he did nothing wrong. So, I guess her mother is completely alone on this one, she will, actually have to invest alot of money, hire the correct people/organizations, etc and if, and IF she manages to get her daughter back, it would be due to some persuasion technique working, she will actually have to find a way of PERSUADING her 18 year old daughter that the decision that she made is the wrong one, if she brings her daughter back to her by force, she will have to endure the pain of her daughter "hating her" and accusing her of "ruining her life" for a couple of years until she probably turns like 25 years old and finally realizes that her mother was right.

the mother had plenty of time to act by actually reading the TXT messages she was getting while her daugher was a "jail bate" (AKA being 17 years of age or less). When she lost her "Jail Bate" status (she turned 18) it was too late to act. An exception to this would be if he had sex with her while she was 17, but how is that going to be proven? especially when both, she and he, is saying that nothing happened while she was under age.

reply to post by silo13

Follow up on the new info?
She dumped him the second he got arrested.
So much for love.

peace

Originally posted by silo13
reply to post by silo13

 

Follow up on the new info?
She dumped him the second he got arrested.
So much for love.

peace

Hahaha XD
Please tell me you have a link confirming that?