What is HOME to you?

reply to post by ottobot


Home is love

Originally posted by ottobot

Originally posted by Lichter daraus
Wish i knew where home was. i feel comfortable in certain places but never feel at home.

I know what you mean, what is it that you feel might be missing?

I know I don't feel "at home" because I have never fit in with other people. It's always an uneasy fit... like I can get along, and even be friends for awhile, but they end up turning on me as soon as something goes wrong. I have very few friends specifically for this reason.

My last few "good friends" either began to "hate" me for voicing my opinion that didn't synch with their own, or I just stopped talking to because I had many issues and basically withdrew from the world at large... and nobody followed or even bothered to try to bring me back from that brink.

I realize this mindset is a product of my youth, but it's extremely hard for me to get close to people because I, literally, do not know how to get close to people. :-/

People tell me their problems, but I cannot trust them to listen to mine or care about me in any way other than a superficial one. It is painful.

I don't like living like that, so I am trying to change it... it's pretty much one step at a time, and maybe I will someday know how to live and be at ease.

Pretty much explains me to a T. Been trying to change it for a long time. I'll never stop tryin thats all i can really do.



Peace

How can I be separate from all that I am? So the answer is, everything and nothing.

My "home" is somewhere that I have yet to find (outside of my dreams). I'm pretty young on the age scale (well, 21 isn't that young), and I have been to quite a few places, but not one of them "feels" right. My hunch is that for myself, home doesn't lie on this planet (and no, I'm not an alien, nor do I think I am one ).

Like others, the feeling I get from here is that I "don't belong", and seem to be more of an "observer" rather than a "regular joe". I do, however, feel a pull towards certain areas (for example, I feel that I'm in the right place), so for me, "home" could also be to these places (This feeling I get doesn't happen anywhere; For example, I didn't feel a thing when I visited the U.P. of Michigan, but the pull was stronger when visiting the Mammoth Caves). It's hard to explain what this feeling feels like (almost like someone pulling a rope attached to you in a certain direction), but I've always associated it with places I can be "content" to stay in.

In short: My home I have yet to find, but there are places I can be "content" to stay in forever (in effect, making it a "home", I guess).

-fossilera

reply to post by fossilera


What you have just described is the dilemma of mankind. The thinker feels separate from the thoughts; the mind feels separate from the body; the individual feels separate from humanity; humanity feels separate from nature... he feels separate from that which he is, thus great fragmentation, confusion and chaos must lie ahead for him.

"Home" is where I finally am now. I passed through this area at around 12 or 13 years old, and I've had an unexplainable, visceral connection with it for decades. It's not where I grew up, or where I "cut my teeth" in learning about how to deal with the world or people in general. It's where I feel that I belong, and always have been connected to.

Where ever I feel most comfortable whether I am at my home, or at someone else s home where they invite me in using the phrase "make yourself at home". Any place with a safe haven of good vibes is fine with me...

Very good,thought provoking thread.

I'm at odds with where my home is.

I was born and raised in the deep south.

Was moved to the midwest in my teenage years.

Moved back to the deep south during my 20 somethings.

Moved to the midwest after that til now.

I would say,at this point in life,home is where ever my wife and kids are.

And when my kids grow up and leave the house,my butt is going back to the deep south on the beach with my honey for what I hope will be my final home.
That is where my heart is,my wife and my original home.
Full circle.

reply to post by fossilera


You know,when ever I moved to a new place,I always felt out of place.
But slowly,I would make friends,explore the place I was in,absorb the new experiences.
After awhile,and sometimes it took years,sometimes not,it would grow on me and started feeling like home.
My current place I live at took 10 years.

reply to post by ottobot


Circumstances pulled me away for a few years.
I am planning to go back next spring if things work out right

Home is when I'm in a deep meditation. Deprived of all my senses till I can't feel or see the layers of the onion that I have managed to grow throughout all these years. Layer by layer they disappear, vanish into nothingness as I reach home, finally. But the illusion sets in again and I'm back into the vehicle, staring in my own reflection and recollecting myself...

reply to post by ottobot


What is HOME to you?


A myth. Something not real.


Home is where one is welcome, accepted for who they are.
Home is where one's family and friends reside.

Family and Friends make one feel welcome and accepted, as though they actually belong.
Family and Friends do not place more mandatory expectations on one than one can possibly learn the number of in their own lifetime. This is NOT an example of what family would do to one or what friends would expect of one. Requiring one to conform to and adhere to more mandatory expectations than the laws of physics can possibly allow one to learn within one's own lifetime is NOT an example of making one feel welcome and accepted, as though they actually belong.

What is the specific number of laws (mandatory expectations societies require of their citizens)?
If I wanted to call your neighborhood my home and move in next door, what is the number of laws I would have to conform to? Can I learn what all these laws are word for word within my own lifetime? Can I learn what they all mean when held in context with eachother simultaneously within my own lifetime?

Are the mandatory expectations (LAWS) required learning in schools?

Home is where one is welcome and accepted for who they are.
Home is where one's family and friends reside.

Home is a myth.

Originally posted by Mister_Bit
Home for me is where my bed is, where I can close the doors, turn the phone off and shut out the world and be myself, wrapped up warm and safe in my duvet with no outside interuptions.

I know what you mean. When I first decided to stop living a life of dissatisfaction, I didn't know what to do. So, I decided to try to be that person I am when I am completely alone and don't have to worry about anyone else's thoughts or opinions or judgments.

At first, it was very strange. I enrolled in nursing school, but refused to become parts of the cliques. I wore whatever I felt like wearing (at the time, very baggy and nondescript clothing), and had to convince myself to stop caring about what other people thought of my clothing - I was immediately judged as "gay".

People would stand around smoking all the time, and I didn't want to be around it (I was pregnant), so would spend my school breaks walking around the campus, just thinking. I soon gained the reputation of "snob"/"stuck-up", even though I was kind and considerate to others, and would speak to them when they engaged me in conversation. I learned not to feel that this was unjust, because they were just reacting emotionally to my lack of interest in their activities.

I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until well into the program, when I started showing (about six months pregnant). I actually didn't tell anybody in my class - I just told my clinical instructor that I couldn't participate in a radiology shadowing one day because I was pregnant. Somehow, by the next day, everyone in the whole class knew... wherein I was called "weird"/"strange", etc.

I did well in my classes, asked all of the questions I felt I needed to ask, bluntly answered questions asked of me, and then received the title of "goody-goody" in addition to the others. Again, I had to see this as a normal reaction because, in their eyes, I was putting on airs and was purposefully showing off.

I had my baby and came back to class two days later, after which I received the reputation of "crazy"/"desperate"/"wacko". I went through the nursing program, ended with top honors and got all of the awards available during graduation, after which people were still talking smack.

But, I owned that nursing program and became a better and far more compassionate and empathetic person as a result.

It's difficult to do, at times. I had to learn to see beyond the surface of people's reactions to me... why did they judge me that way? Why did they respond to my minding my own business in such a negative manner? I then had to learn not to instinctively react in a hurtful way to other people's behavior.

Because, ultimately, people are going to think and say whatever they're going to think and say - regardless of what I do or say. So, I will do and say what I need to, always.

Originally posted by WhiteHat

Even if I ask myself sometimes if I could choose, where in the world I would want to be, the answer is hard to find. Maybe somewhere in the mountains, away from other people, maybe traveling around the world, not a specific place. No place to think about it like home.

People who made me feel at home, well, same story, I left behind, some I willingly drifted away from them. Again, I wish I knew why.

I understand what you are describing, and it cannot be completely described. When I try to think of where I would want to be, there is a split second where I know exactly what home is. But, I don't even know what it is in definable terms... and then it is gone and I'm left grasping, "forest? mountains? family? farm? france? ireland? switzerland? mars?" Haha. Maybe I will understand one day.

Do you think it is possible that you create that distance because do you not want to have to leave people who make you feel like home behind?

And, I wonder, if not having a home makes it more difficult for one to be able to envision or be comfortable with the idea of finding a definitive and stable home?

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
reply to post by ottobot

 

The pain is the sense of separation, aloneness, abandonment, not feeling complete, unworthy, alien, almost everyone feels this, it is the human condition.
The cure is to see that you are complete, not a seeing but a knowing, a realization. You do not have to do anything to be complete because you already are, it just has to be realized. When you realize, you are home.

Well, I do feel content overall. But, I also feel there is something significant missing.

And I do not know how to feel like nothing is missing.

I think the reason I can't feel complete is because I do not feel like I am complete, because I have not learned how to completely accept myself.

I am, in essence, "UPGRADE LOADING.... Progress: 85%..." At some point, that will switch to, "UPGRADE: COMPLETE".

Originally posted by greyer
reply to post by ottobot

 

Home is love

There are so many different types of love, though.

Are there, then, many different types of home?

This makes me wonder if maybe it is only certain types of love that give us the feeling of home or completeness?

I would like to eventually be able to feel only love, as my default emotion, toward other people. It would be nice to see the human race, and by extension the planet, as home.

Originally posted by Lichter daraus

Pretty much explains me to a T. Been trying to change it for a long time. I'll never stop tryin thats all i can really do.

Peace

Agreed. I, for one, hope you succeed.

Peace and home are synonymous to me.

Maybe home will be when every part of me is at peace.

Originally posted by LifeIsEnergy
How can I be separate from all that I am? So the answer is, everything and nothing.

I can see this - home can be intangible or home can be physical or it can be a mixture of the two.

But, ultimately, home is defined by my (your) own mind.

It does all depend on perspective.

it is funny how all ur descriptions look like meaning a static unconscious state as nothing before that u fancy upon in meaning to justify it being superior to any existence concept

euhhh sorry to interfer but..., hellllooo there are already objective realizations of home concept

home is the place u choose to buy for comfortable stay between different activities out or work

home is the objective walls u construct by ur own will ability too fully protecting ur freedom peace as well as the subjective full construction of real resting space for ur true free mind

as everyone know that anyone home is by definition not the other one, when even own parents home is to leave forever at a time

Originally posted by ottobot

Originally posted by LifeIsEnergy
How can I be separate from all that I am? So the answer is, everything and nothing.

But, ultimately, home is defined by my (your) own mind.

Look for it here then, and when you grow tired of that, except that the present moment (home) can't be defined by the past (mind).