reply to post by JJTHEFETT
There are some good articles on the net on anger management, control.
And ANGER can be a huge survival issue . . . in relationships and in some situations--one's own survival.
Most of the time . . . anger relates to insecurity, Attachment Disorder fostered pride, fears, brittleness etc.
It can help a lot to take a step back . . .
Take a walk around the block.
Breathe slowly 6-8 seconds out; 6-8 seconds in for 30-90 seconds. It changes the blood chemistry in the brain toward relaxation.
Take 5 min out and reflect on something positive about yourself; about the other person; about the situation. Discipline your thinking until you can
do that BEFORE responding.
Anger usually attempts to !DEMAND! something perceived to be missing . . . or to retaliate in vengeance.
NEITHER ONE WORKS. Only negative fallout results. Even temporary satisfaction is short-lived and costly.
You can say things to yourself like . . .
"It's OK. I can overcome this calmly and maturely."
"It doesn't matter how wrong they are or even what an ignorant jerk they seem bent on being. It matters how maturely and wisely I handle this
situation. I choose maturity and wisdom over idiocy and childishness."
"Maybe I'm 100% right. It doesn't matter. Relationships are more important than being !RIGHT!
"A Compulsive need to always BE RIGHT AND SHOVE IT IN OTHERS FACES is an addiction I can let go of. It's not winning me any friends, influence or
"My goal in this situation is not to strut like a banty rooster but to part this contact with both of us feeling good about ourselves and the other
person. How can I most contribute to that?"
"I don't need to prove whose is longer. I need to prove my patience, wisdom and maturity."
"I am mature enough to creatively contribute to a deepening relationship instead of pouting or ranting or retaliating. I am mature enough to show my
graciousness and flexibility instead of brittleness and arrogance."
"I can be a healer instead of a destroyer."
"I can be redemptive instead of shredding peace and joy."
"I can share maturity and wisdom instead of spreading manure."
"I can spread sharing and caring instead of barbs and stabs."
"I can spread forgiveness and healing instead of wounds and bleeding."
"I can spread comfort and acceptance instead of hurt and rejection."
CERTAINLY QUICK AND HEART-FELT FORGIVENESS IS A CRUCIAL WAY TO LIVE.
When the feelings of forgiveness are not there--CHOOSE FORGIVENESS ANYWAY--REPEATEDLY--EVERYTIME THE THOUGHT COMES UP . . . until there's no longer
any 'high-octane ping.'
We all need forgiven. It is crucial we extend what we need and want.
It is eternally crucial.
". . . Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us, Lord."
edit on 2/2/2012 by BO XIAN because: additions