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The Funniest thing I have EVER read in my life-U will cry

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posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 05:16 PM
the lost theme poster bit got me i was in stitches after that

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 05:30 PM
Apparently, somebody was really bored and had lots of time on their hands if they could keep trolling their co-worker like that.

On the other hand, why didn't the woman just take the hint and go pester somebody else. Either that, or take the picture into Paint and spend 5 minutes doing it herself?

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 05:31 PM
reply to post by akapapasmurf

I just want it to say "lost"
Love this, I heard he has more like this, anybody know?

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 05:33 PM
reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck

She must be such an easy going slightly ditsy person. What it would be like to see their office on live t.v.

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 06:37 PM
My all time favorite, ever. It's a British fellow's letter of complaint to an internet service provider.

Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since July 9, 2001, when I signed up for your four-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, telephone, and alarm monitoring.

During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking, and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website. HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with myself for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over four weeks my modem arrived, six weeks after I had requested, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35% - the hours between about 6 PM and midnight, Monday through Friday, and most of the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made nine calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals who are, it seems, also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answering machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman, and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important on-hold moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care. It's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I truly thought British Telecom was crap, and they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations; and that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.

BT - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success in the filthy mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver. Any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief and will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cat's litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day. May it be the last in your miserable short lives, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

Read more:

edit on 2-12-2011 by followtheevidence because: correction

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 06:55 PM
reply to post by followtheevidence

now that my yank y friends is called humor, not some drolling on about a freaking cat being lost and some advertising twat(no offence meant as Ex ad agency myself) spouting 1980`s advertising Saatchi and Saatchi retoric ,conservative boll ox. It may and emphasize may have been funny back in the Reagan/Thatcher days but not any more. Were no longer fckd on Cocaine and high on Porshe and Moet, in these days of austerity measures a more fitting area of fun would involve zionist fckwits the germano-english monarchy or the occupy wall street protesters ,after all they are the funniest losers on the planet, what a complete joke. occupy wall street?Ha

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 07:05 PM
reply to post by followtheevidence

That's hoe I feel every time I call the cable company. The phone guy episode on Seinfeld is great.

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 07:06 PM
reply to post by jiggyturbojim

Oh I can't wait until they remove that post...
Why jump in the fun and spoil it? You don't like it move on...SSHHHH

posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 07:35 PM
Nah, that's really not that funny. I think I only half smirked through one piece of it.

The ''humour'' is so laboured, repetitive and predictable, the supposed exchange completely unbelievable ( no willing suspension of disbelief possible ) and the lines of ''Shannon'' far too stilted and carefully worded just to set up each of his ''funny''.

Having looked at this guy's website, it appears that all of his material follows this same format. Repeating ''humourous'' material ad nauseum = lack of comedic imagination.


posted on Dec, 2 2011 @ 09:12 PM
reply to post by Sherlock Holmes

agreed,see im not the only one who found it un funny

posted on Dec, 3 2011 @ 10:25 AM
Man I love showing this to people, they all laugh in ways I have never heard them laugh. Everybody is simply out of breath and can't speak.

posted on Dec, 3 2011 @ 08:21 PM

Originally posted by samlf3rd
reply to post by fairguy

That is hilarious! what the heck? Man where have all these good jokes been all my life?

I am really starting to love this trend of trollers, they make me smile.

me too, its crazy how angry some people get about it

posted on Dec, 5 2011 @ 09:48 AM
If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Best line ever. Props to the guy, S+F cheers for the laugh!!!


posted on Jan, 16 2012 @ 12:52 AM
reply to post by samlf3rd

I had to come back and read this again. tis hillarious!!!

I was trying to tell someone today about it but gave up cos it is better that they read it themselves.

posted on Jan, 16 2012 @ 06:19 AM

Originally posted by jiggyturbojim
reply to post by Sherlock Holmes

agreed,see im not the only one who found it un funny

The guy was just a prick. But I see he has found an audience of his peers here.

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