Dear Americans: A lesson in proper English.

Originally posted by mr-lizard
John Cleese kills me. One of my idols.

That football thing is spot on.

Don't encourage him.

I have some questions for you and Sherlock Holmes.

The Aussies have a version of football; it's called Australian Rules Football. How come John isn't putting them on blast for that?

The Canadians have their own version of football and the well-known Canadian Football League. It is similar to how we do things here in the United States. So how come John isn't putting them on blast for calling their sport "football"?

We Americans are not the only ones who use the term soccer, contrary to popular belief. And a few minutes ago, I found something else you should find shocking. . . where did the word "soccer" originate? Not from us!

The Origin of the Word "Soccer"

I know it's in vogue to ridicule or bash American vocabulary, but it helps to tell the complete story beforehand.

I know I find the spelling of "spelt' and "learnt" to be funny (American here) as we write 'spelled' and 'learned'. Anyway. I love the differences but yeah, it's all based on where you're born and raised to speak and spell. It happens. It's what gives us our flavorings and so on. If we all spelled and talked the same, it'd be boring.

And I always have said it as (Like for the foil) Alooo mih nuhm foil. How do you all say it? ah luhm in ee uhm? I can't figure that one out, truly. Cool in a way cuz it sounds like something off the Periodic Table of Elements xD

Originally posted by MarkScheppy



LOL. Their deodorant use is proper and their foul smellin proper breath. English stinky and proper.

Foul breath would usually hint at poor oral hygeine, unfortunatly studies show it isn't true. I'm all for using stereotypes in comedy, but I have an unpleasant feeling you think there is truth to it.

www.economist.com...

Although if we are to use stereotypes then you must hate American women because ALL American women love the British accent and can't wait to kiss a Brit...with our stinky horrible breath

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
You Brits have alot of nerve!


Us american's are real good at making up some pretty potent swear words!


Bloody and Bugger don't cut it!

You have to admit that wanker is a far better term than jerk.

Bollocks ( ie. forcefully, yet not overly rudely, stating that someone is talking nonsense/rubbish ) is another great word, as well. It can almost be used in front of your own granny.

These people have the nerve to tell others to speak english when they are in their country.

Dear president (elected by the people, not the lobbyists nor the industry of war), please offer free education to your citizens.

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
You Brits have alot of nerve!


Us american's are real good at making up some pretty potent swear words!


Bloody and Bugger don't cut it!

Out of curiosity, please provide me with a list of "American" swear words....

Most of the really good and offensive ones I know of are English through and through...

Originally posted by StevenDye
Although if we are to use stereotypes then you must hate American women because ALL American women love the British accent and can't wait to kiss a Brit...with our stinky horrible breath

On this subject, what exactly is a "British" accent?

Is it the fumbly nonsense Hugh Grant uses?

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


I'm afraid not bro.


American's are the best at insulting people, period. We do it on purpose, and sometimes not on purpose...

I'm convinced the English have a 200 year old agitated butt sprain from the ass kickin' we gave them a long time ago so they pick on us about our grammar, and sports... that's cute.

Yes yes.. we modeled our court systems after yours we just threw out that stupid white wig.. ridiculous. We changed everything else to be different..

Originally posted by stumason

On this subject, what exactly is a "British" accent?

Is it the fumbly nonsense Hugh Grant uses?

It most certainly is, and it's absolutely nothing like my everyday accent but Hollywood demands I be able to do a good impression of it.

It needs a far deal more T's than I usually speak with I'm afraid due to a mix of London and country accents.

reply to post by stumason


He's more than willing to wind up the English, he's made a whole career out of it. 10 O'Clock Live is entirely based on him ranting about how rubbish we are and Peep Show is a celebration of the downtrodden, miserable middle-englander.

Don't feed the trolls has never been more apt. However, taking the piss out the trolls is entirely acceptable, well within the T&C's and entirely appropriate given the nature of the thread.

Originally posted by stumason

Originally posted by StevenDye
Although if we are to use stereotypes then you must hate American women because ALL American women love the British accent and can't wait to kiss a Brit...with our stinky horrible breath

On this subject, what exactly is a "British" accent?

Is it the fumbly nonsense Hugh Grant uses?

Does Hugh Grant watch spongebob square pants shows?

Can he balance that out between having unsoliticited sex with negro prostitutes, and make time for tea and crumpets.

Originally posted by stumason

A prime example of the subject matter, I think! One Yank says "could care less", which when you think about it makes no sense in context and the other says "couldn't care less", which is of course the correct and sensible way of saying it

Maybe it made sense in both instances. Please consider that when one says (s)he "could care less" on this side of the Atlantic, that (s)he may have meant it to be taken sarcastically.

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
American's are the best at insulting people, period. We do it on purpose, and sometimes not on purpose...

Are they ?

Americans are the world leaders in bravado and hubris, but I have never heard one of them offering any kind of deep, well-thought out, insulting jibe.

Give me an example of the coruscating wit that an American would use to insult one of their English colonial masters ?

Any example will do.

And here is the proof about how Aluminum Foil is spelled:

www.google.com...:en-USfficial&client=firefox-a#q=aluminum+foil&hl=en&client=fire fox-a&hs=6f7&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&prmd=imvnse&source=univ&tbm=shop&tbo=u&sa=X&ei=RTrQToyXH8SRiQL8sp3dCw&ved=0CGwQrQQ&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw., cf.osb&fp=eebd006aafa6d1c&biw=1297&bih=657

heheh
and here www.foodservicedirect.com...

Originally posted by Skittle
These people have the nerve to tell others to speak english when they are in their country.

Dear president (elected by the people, not the lobbyists nor the industry of war), please offer free education to your citizens.

I speak American, not English.

Originally posted by stumason
What Americans are probably not aware of is this Comedian is famous for his hilairous ranting and does it as much towards British people as he might do against anyone else. Don't take it too seriously, he is a Comic after all. I don't think Chris Rock is a racist because of his ranting against Whites, because I can see the humour behind it.

Chris Rock jokes make you dumb as a sledge hammer being tugged along by Britney spears nasty skirt. As probably as dumb as the British jokester.

Take Chris Rock jokes serious, to freakin hart lad. Especially poor Christopher Reeves 'Superman' joke when was in a wheel chair. I love it when the comedians have that brain that can separate abstract cartoon from reality, and then make the insightful comic jokes that are culture and society needs.

Just sayin'...

Originally posted by Sherlock Holmes

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
American's are the best at insulting people, period. We do it on purpose, and sometimes not on purpose...

Are they ?

Americans are the world leaders in bravado and hubris, but I have never heard one of them offering any kind of deep, well-thought out, insulting jibe.

Give me an example of the coruscating wit that an American would use to insult one of their English colonial masters ?

Any example will do.

Edgar Allen Poe (American) makes fun of Sherlock Holmes (Brit) who can't write.

Holmes detective needs a lackey dummy companion to help him solve mysteries. Watson is a crack head like Holmes, based on Doyle who was also one in real life. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is quoted as saying he can't think or write like Poe, and complains how stupid it is for scientists to talk about their being planets in the solar system and science that explains their rotation. Poes detectives can solve mysteries without even needing to see "elementary" evidence.

"What bloody difference does it make to me if there are planets and stars and the such." A coruscating wit or someone who just understands reality, unlike the British who gloat on their past "glories." And now bad comedy.