Why are so many men involved in serial relationships, one after another?

Something tells me the OP already knows the answer to this...or would if she thought it through...whether she likes the answer is another matter.

Are you really that surprised that you have to compete for what you want? Isn't that always the way?

Sometimes when people post things like this they are looking for attention (or, perhaps more charitably, comfort) rather than answers. Just sayin'. Far be it from me to know for sure in this particular case...

reply to post by Partygirl


Yeah, guys will get away with that kind of bs if chicks will let them... Sad though. It took me until my 2nd marraige to learn my lesson.

And its something that I have to work really hard on every day, trying not to think about other girls. Its natural for guys to want to chase skirts.

Must be the age range you are in because men my age dont act like this.

Probably because we are all trying to fill a hole. (save your laughing)

Seriously though, I look back on the past 8 years of my life and I've been in about 6 serious relationships. I date for a minute after one ends, and then I find myself going for the next one. I have no problems getting gf's, just a problem making it work long term. Why do all women want you til they have you? And then find some way to choke your soul, or get tired of you.

reply to post by Partygirl


Explanation: Uhmm?

Why are so many men just chasing girl after girl???

Ask their MOTHERS!

Doesn't that get lonely???

Ultimately we are all alone and even sometimes those who believe in a God feel estranged from that very same God!

Can't they be happy with one?

Men being generally a logical lot tend not to put all their eggs [or sperm] into one basket for safe keeping!

This is a genetically driven instinct!

Who loves them?

Again ..ask their MOTHERS!

If "that's just the way its supposed to be" then why do women not seem to have this problem?

davespanners explained that the best!

Also, why are the good men either a) Taken or B) never want to settle down?

Please define EXPLICITLY what a good man is to you thanks.

Personal Disclosure: What happened to just needing Jesus?

Originally posted by OmegaLogos
Personal Disclosure: What happened to just needing Jesus?

Being able to truly share that path with another is something special. Agreed though, in your context.

As for the serial relationships, it does take two to tango.. So women are involved in it too, but with you being a woman, the exposure to that probably hasnt been there.

Those that I know do it for easy companionship. These people feel alone, in some way, and that companionship helps that, but it doesnt solve it. So, on to the next.. "Maybe this one will fill that void better." Only speaks for those I know.

There are exceptions to every rule, of course. Not all men/women are this way.

reply to post by Partygirl

Why are so many men jsut chasing girl after girl??? Doesn't that get lonely??? Seems like a lot of effort to me. Can't they be happy with one? Who loves them?

Interesting question from someone named "Partygirl"...

In nature it's the male's job to spread his seed everywhere possible... it's the female's duty to select the best mate. Although these roles for humans have been somewhat skewed over time, the basic urges are still there, which is why males are naturally less monogamous.

reply to post by sinohptik


Explanation: Uhmmm?

As for the serial relationships, it does take two to tango.. So women are involved in it too, but with you being a woman, the exposure to that probably hasnt been there.

Was that directed at me [OL is a male btw] or at Partygirl?

Personal Disclosure: If it was directed at me then please just become aware that I am not female!

Originally posted by Partygirl
reply to post by wtbengineer

 

Not cheated on...but the guy I was interested in suddenly stopped being interested in me because he was chasing another one.

Then I started to think and I realized almsot every guy I'm interested in has too many relationships or just "friends with benefits" which I am not interested in.

Considering most guys want sex... If per chance you wern't putting out, that might be the reason why he stopped being interested.

Just a theory of course...

reply to post by Partygirl

Why are so many men jsut chasing girl after girl???

There not, just the ones your chasing.

Fear not Partygirl many have asked this question at around the same time in life that you are now.....I am sure you will get over it soon though, and move on.

Doesn't that get lonely???

Who knows, who cares.

Seems like a lot of effort to me. Can't they be happy with one? Who loves them?

Two very stupid questions. "I just wrote that to tell you that"

Most things either work, or they do not, there is very little else to it. And people either do or they do not, but in either case they seem to do what they want.

If "that's just the way its supposed to be" then why do women not seem to have this problem?

What do you like?

The regular picard facepalm.


Or since you so religious, the faithpalm.

Also, why are the good men either a) Taken or B) never want to settle down? Arrrrrggggggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

OK Partygirl, now I am intrigued.....Tell us more? I will go get the popcorn, I always liked these kind's of stories.


OK now that I got done making fun of you

No really you cant let the story end there, what happened? Is it dramatic? from the look of all those flame emoticons it seems like it. Nobody would put all those unless it was very serious.

You know I will listen, and my little bird says that there are many, many other dudes who are listening in as well.....Partygirl, I never knew you were so popular with the dudes on this site.

I think you will do fine.

Originally posted by Lysergic

edit on 7-11-2011 by Lysergic because: (no reason given)

Lysergic is speechless.
Epic!

Going from those I've known and still know, I can say this seems to be much more prevalent with women, than with guys. Most guys I know have longer periods between breakups, whereas the women are quick to get into a new relationship.

These days though, mostly all I know are other couples, so doesn't really apply as much, though at least two of these couples should really hang it up, but don't either because kids are involved, or finances are too linked (like a house)....

reply to post by Earthscum


I totally get you. I am crazy about a girl who is going from one guy to another, without relationships. This bugs me, as I am a relationship guy. But I still want her. I see so many good qualities in her, minus that one. Well, glad I'm not alone in thinking this way.

Originally posted by Partygirl
Why are so many men jsut chasing girl after girl???

Doesn't that get lonely??? Seems like a lot of effort to me. Can't they be happy with one? Who loves them?

If "that's just the way its supposed to be" then why do women not seem to have this problem?

Also, why are the good men either a) Taken or B) never want to settle down?

Arrrrrggggggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Do you mean they move from one relationship to another or do you mean that they move from one conquest to another?

I ask because that is an important distinction to many young single men!

If you mean relationships, in my opinion it is the ladies that do that.......

If you mean one conquest to the next, it's because they want sex and not an emotional attachment. Im afraid it really is that simple - men (in general) do not have the link between sex and emotional attachment.

I think it's genetic and in our DNA.

Men can be fruitful and shed their seed to as many females as possible, usually until a ripe old age.

Women need stability and a good provider as a partner, because their reproductive years are limited, and they need a mate when pregnant and caring for a young child.

Of course that's a generalization, and many people no longer fit the mold.
However, traditionally men were allowed several wives and concubines (as the good book tells us), and even with the rise of the unnatural "nuclear family" prostitution was often tolerated as a necessary evil, and adultery was far more socially tolerated for men than for women.
In times of colonization and war, rape and concubinage was so common (and probably still is as we speak) that it created entire generations of "war children".
So men from one race, culture or religion get to shed a lot of dominant DNA through their seed, and war is also a sexual or Darwinian competition.

The woman who acts sexually like a man is either a trope of comedy (Sex and the City, for example) or she is deeply threatening, because in the days before DNA tests a man relied on a wife's honesty to assure he was not raising an imposter. Hence, laws against rape referred only to an act that interfered with a woman's reproduction (everything else was sexual assault at worst) and this was legislated to protect men from raising and leaving an inheritance to another man's DNA. The male bloodline had to be protected in patriarchal societies, because it conferred social status. Sometimes lower class males would turn a blind eye or even borrow their wives to royals and higher status males in the hope that the offspring would raise the status of the family.
I've even seen disputed arguments that male homosexuality will be inherently "loose", because it lacks the "controlling" influence of a female partner.

In colonialism slavery and the easy access to native women allowed white Christian men sexual outlets that were hardly viewed as immoral, although they created mixed populations with an unclear status.

Perhaps then it should not surprise us that the human trafficking of women is a major component of slavery today, and that not all slavery ended with manumission in the US.
According to Wikipedia:
en.wikipedia.org...

A few captives from other tribes who were used as slaves were not freed when African-American slaves were emancipated. Ute Woman, a Ute captured by the Arapaho and later sold to a Cheyenne, was one example. Used as a prostitute for sale to American soldiers at Cantonment in the Indian Territory, she lived in slavery until about 1880 when she died of a hemorrhage resulting from "excessive sexual intercourse".

edit on 9-11-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

reply to post by Partygirl


Because,there are so many women and so little time.
They will "settle down" when they have depleted most
of their wild oats.

I'm 41 years old, only ever been in one relationship, was married for 8 years, look after myself with bodybuilding, full-time job, own car and mortgage. I don't think I'm too bad a prospect yet I can't get anyone just for a date. Granted I have some low self-esteem and shy with girls I like. Let me tell you something from a guy's perspective, even with my conservative viewpoint and lack of women in my life - there are plenty of women I look at that I would like to have sex with if I am being honest, but would never consider a relationship with. Guys are probably not going from one girl to the next, but looking for sex and just need to manipulate the woman into think he loves the girl when in fact he doesn't. As for nice guys like myself, who treat women with respect, and probably treat them in too much of a platonic manner, end up with noone even though women like the OP are crying out for such. Its a sad world and the dating world is even worse.

Originally posted by Partygirl
Why are so many men jsut chasing girl after girl???

Doesn't that get lonely??? Seems like a lot of effort to me. Can't they be happy with one? Who loves them?

If "that's just the way its supposed to be" then why do women not seem to have this problem?

Also, why are the good men either a) Taken or B) never want to settle down?

Arrrrrggggggggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Hey now, every female friend I've had over the years has said I'm a really good guy and nice, kind etc but you wouldn't believe the trouble I've had trying to meet someone who might actually be interested in me.

Went pretty much my whole life without a relationship through no fault of my own, doing all the right things because I'm not a douche that takes everything all the time, that just isn't me at all.

I may be taken in a sense now but I never wanna settle down in the traditional sense (don't wanna have kids and marriage doesn't appeal to me, if you love someone then why do you need a ring and a piece of paper to prove that?) but I would like to feel like I've found the right person, perhaps even my soulmate and just be content until my dying day with her.

Whether it's the current girl I'm in a long distance relationship with with both agreeing it's nothing serious yet or someone else that will come along in time, who knows?

As long as whoever it is gets to enjoy a lot of time with me for a number of years just enjoying the little things in life together like a beautiful sunset or the cool waters of a swimming pool on a hot summer's day or even just sitting in silence on a porch for hours listening to the world around us.

That's all I want and even if right now I don't feel like I've found it yet, I still have faith it'll happen when the time's right.

Maybe the time isn't right for you either Partygirl? I'm sure there's someone out there just waiting to be introduced to such a beautifully minded woman as yourself, just takes a little patience for the world to work its magic.

reply to post by Partygirl


I got dumped by my ex gf like 9 months ago I still havent found another chick yet I guess its 50/50