Why do I have handicaps that others don't have?

Here are some odd things about me that I can't explain.

I have weird handicaps that others don't have. I cannot get on a ski lift, or on one of those cable cars hanging from a black cable high up in the air either. Those are terrifying to me and I cannot tolerate them at all. Period. To me, those things are death. They feel very unsafe and extremely dangerous and are the equivalent of suicide to me. Yet most normal people get on them like a routine with no fear. I don't get that. I also don't like ferris wheels. I simply feel like I'm in great danger whenever I am high up in the air. But I can fly on airlines though.

Also, I can't hop between rocks in a river or cave as easily as others can. The sloping wet rocks look dangerous and slippery. It takes me a long time to make every step because every step feels dangerous so I have to be extra careful with every step. Wet rocks are not safe to step on, of course. That's obvious. But again, everyone else seems to be able to jump across them easily, and much faster than me. Even dumb people can hop through wet slippery rocks at a normal pace and leave me in the dust, making me feel handicapped. Why is that? How can something unnatural and unsafe be so easy for everyone else except me?

Do you have any explanation for that? Is it cause I lack coordination, athleticism, or spatial ability that average people have?

I think I must be impaired athletically, cause even when I was skinny and thin, I was always the last person behind in hiking groups or in PE class when we had to jog several laps as part of our warm up exercise. Only chubby kids were as far behind as me, yet I was skinny and had no endurance in jogging at all, whereas everyone else was ahead of me. Perhaps I lack endurance or drain more easily than others for some reason.

I also notice that some people don't have to concentrate when they drive or get nervous/anxious about other cars near them. Many guys are able to change lanes without even turning their heads to look at their side mirror or the lane next to them. How can they know that they won't hit another car when they change lanes so quickly without even looking? When I drive, I have to turn my head to the side to see that the lane is open before I change lanes. So it takes me extra time to do it. It is even harder to do on a highway where the road is curving. But many guys change lanes without looking. How do they do that safely? I don't think the rear view mirror can tell you if there's a car right next to you or not. Plus I don't trust mirrors either. I only trust my own eyes when I'm changing lanes.

It seems that there are things that average people have no problem with, that I have a huge problem with. Yet I have talents and abilities that few people have. And I am far more accurate than others too.

Did you know I always got a D in biology class cause I could not memorize tons of vocabulary words? I have a good IQ of 120 yet I cannot memorize raw data for tests. Even if I tried, it would just go in one ear and out the other. My mind kept wandering in school. I could not force it to concentrate. Instead, I felt sleepy or my mind turned to sexual fantasies for escape. I only did well in English and History, or humanities type classes. And I did well in math up to Algebra too, since it only required basic logic and accuracy in arithmetic. But I was terrible in Calculus cause it involved memorizing too many boring formulas.

I also lose to average people in the simple card game called Concentration or Memory - you know, that game where you flip over two cards to try to get matching numbers, and whoever gets the most pairs wins, etc. It's a game of raw memory. Chinese/Asian people are especially good at that game, since they have photographic memories of cards for some reason. I don't know why. But any average person can beat me at that game. I have a horrible memory of raw card numbers and data. But in Chess and Scrabble, I can beat over 99 percent of people (in America that is, Europe is another story). Why is that? Have you known anyone else like that before?

It's weird being different from everyone, isn't it?

I get left and right mixed up, I always have. But hey, on the positive you do have that Young Aussie NASA thread that's still going strong.

reply to post by WWu777


Explanation: S&F!

Here ...



Personal Disclosure: Stay Thirsty My Friends!

You might suffer from a condition known as "Hypervigilance".

Hypervigilance
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hypervigilance is an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats. Hypervigilance is also accompanied by a state of increased anxiety which can cause exhaustion. Other symptoms include: abnormally increased arousal, a high responsiveness to stimuli, and a constant scanning of the environment for threats.[1][2] Hypervigilance can be a symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder[3] and various types of anxiety disorder. It is distinguished from paranoia. Paranoid states, such as those in schizophrenia, can seem superficially similar, but are characteristically different.

Hypervigilance is differentiated from dysphoric hyperarousal in that the person remains cogent and aware of his or her surroundings. In dysphoric hyperarousal, the PTSD victim may lose contact with reality and re-experience the traumatic event verbatim. Where there have been multiple traumas, a person may become hypervigilant and suffer severe anxiety attacks intense enough to induce a delusional state where the effect of the traumas overlap: e.g., one remembered firefight may seem too much like another for the person to maintain calm. This can result in the thousand-yard stare.
[edit] Symptoms

People suffering from hypervigilance may become preoccupied with studying their environment for possible threats, causing them to lose connections with their family and friends. They will 'over-react' to loud and unexpected noises; become agitated in highly crowded or noisy environments etc. They will often have a difficult time getting to sleep or staying asleep.[4]
[edit] References

en.wikipedia.org...

Here is another site, that goes into more detail.

Do you know signs of hypervigilance?
It is helpful for people to be aware of their surroundings and keep their wits about them so as to avoid danger. But what happens when that awareness gets out of control and goes ballistic? What is normal when looking out for danger and providing security for ourselves, and how can we try to keep ourselves safe and sane? Take this quiz a

Read more: www.seattlepi.com...

reply to post by WWu777

Why do I have handicaps that others don't have?

Because if everybody had it, then it wouldn't be referred to as a handicap.

Every single one of us is unique. We have different talents and abilities. We are not created equal in that respect. If I were you, I'd ask myself why I choose to think of myself as 'handicapped'. That's a dead-end street. You could work with your fears through hypnosis or some other alternative modality. I'm not sure if modern psychologists are good at resolving fear, so I'm not recommending their methods.

Any one of us could list all of our fears and weaknesses. We all have them. The question is, "Why are you doing that?" I am not asking for an answer. It's a question for introspection if you choose.

Really wouldn't worry. In humans, one size really doesn't fit all.
I totally understand the height/ slippy rock thing. I am not a physically adept person at all, yet I'm average build and very strong (for a female).

Intellect takes many forms. Although I have a very high IQ, I struggle with basic mental arithmetic. My talents simply lay in other areas.

Vive la difference! You are an individual, celebrate that!

reply to post by WWu777


Everyone has handicaps that other people don't have.
Everyone has skills and abilities that others only wish they had.
You are supposed to find and focus on those. All the best there.

You're definitely a highly anxious, self-conscious person. Not to sound critical. What I would suggest is to take up meditation. I use to be a lot like you. You'll be surprised at how when you are deeply concentrated on your breath your old behaviors that you've carried for years will drop, and carry over even when you're not meditating.

Also, many of the same problems you have with anxiety and self-consciousness were brought out by an addiction to pornography for me. You talked about your mind wandering to sexual fantasies. Could be just the simple wanderings of a man or an addiction. If you look at pornography regularly, try going a couple of weeks without it. If you can do that without a problem, you're fine. If not, it may be an underlying issue that you need to look into. Hope this helps.

Originally posted by WWu777
I cannot get on a ski lift, or on one of those cable cars hanging from a black cable high up in the air either. ...But I can fly on airlines though.

I can ride roller coasters all day long. The higher, the better. But I refuse to get on a Ferris Wheel. And I get dizzy on the third step of a ladder.

Many guys are able to change lanes without even turning their heads to look at their side mirror or the lane next to them.

Those mirrors are made so the driver can just look in them without turning their head... Maybe other drivers are aware of the several cars around them. That's how I drive. I check all my mirrors regularly (without moving my head) so I always know if the lane next to me is clear or not. I still check my blind spot, though. It's the safe thing to do.

It seems that there are things that average people have no problem with, that I have a huge problem with. Yet I have talents and abilities that few people have. And I am far more accurate than others too.

People are different and have different talents. You're not handicapped, you're unique. Just like everyone else.

It's weird being different from everyone, isn't it?

What would be weird is running across someone who is NOT different from me... That would be weird.

reply to post by RainbeauBleu


Perfect.

reply to post by WWu777


Honestly, I do not think you sound that different or special (I mean that in a positive way).

You do not enjoy heights. So what. Humans are not made to fly.
You do not want to slip on a stone, fall and crack your skull open. So what... That sounds rather smart to me.
You like to have control of you personal space around you. So what... Nothing strange with that.

In my world you are totally fine.

But hey thats just me, perhaps that means I am even more messed up than you are

LIFE AIN'T FAIR.


ye, that's probably it...

reply to post by WWu777


Driving is a skill, and one people constantly get better at, its not instant. I think teens should have 1000 hours of driving experience before getting their license, and I think everyone should be required to get a cdl to become concious of their vehicles and others on the road.
I think backup cameras are a dangerous invention.

that all being said: i am afriad of driving over bridges.

reply to post by WWu777


Everyone has their own quirks and fobias about them and no two people are the same.

All my life I have never been afraid of heights; up until I was a young adult I would regularly find the highest tree and climb it, it was kind of a hobby of mine since I was 4 years of age. I won't say how old I am but I still do it ocationally; the taller the better. Last weekend that all changed. Suddenly I had this new found fear....climbing up was'nt the issue, but getting down was a major problem. Now for some weird reason, for the past week I wake up in the night with a major anxiety attack....after remembering in my dreams of climbing up a very tall buildings then looking down, then BAM I'm awake and feel like my insides have just sunk. Perhaps I need a bungy jump to get over it?

Caving, not a chance.....I'll never go in them yet I don't have a problem white water rafting. I do like extreme sports.

Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by WWu777

 

Why do I have handicaps that others don't have?

Because if everybody had it, then it wouldn't be referred to as a handicap.

BC! Thats exactly what I was going to say!



P.S. don't stress too much about it OP - I'm 37 and have no idea how to drive a car - I consider it a "chosen" handicap