This is for you "men" out there

I'll put my vote in "For" the OP.
Reasons I am "For"
1. He is doing it on his own being both Mom & Dad. He cares enough to try to be Mom
2. Life is short
3. You can't go wrong with love.
4. Maybe he is a bit uncomfortable playing the Mom role, and maybe he might make some mistakes but he cares enough to try. Nothing wrong with making mistakes or trying hard to love and care for your kid.
5. I kinda doubt when she is a teen she will want to dress Dad up and take him to the mall...ya know ...really think about it you haters out there.
6. Saw my father in law today at the nursing home and he doesn't have much time left. Life is short, share your love, right now is a good time.

Ok, since this is going personal, i´ll share a picture of me and my daughter flying a kite

great post, i really enjoyed reading it but it struck me as very defensive. im about to have a kid at 21 and things aren't looking that great with the girlfriend, we fight quite often and i will not raise a child in a hostile environment. i am prepared to do anything for my child and might be doing so as a single father but being somewhat young i would completely expect strangers to react in this manner if i was put in similar situations. it's a social taboo and there are men who would willingly do things such as painting their nails simply because they enjoy it. it is wrong to judge these people (homosexuals) but when most people see you they jump to conclusions and it is completely normal for them to do so because 9 times out of 10 they would be right in their assumptions regarding the sexual orientation of a man with painted nails. i guess what im getting at is don't let it bother you, whether these people are homophobic or not they are basing their opinions in a statistic based and generally accurate way and aren't necessarily immature for it. you are doing the right thing and you could either choose to explain the situation to a stranger or just laugh it off. just laugh and keep up the good work raising your daughter, you sound like a hell of a dad and a hell of a man

reply to post by greenCo

That looks like fun...Spent many hours flying kites with my daughter. That was always fun.

Happy Father's Day...

Good for you. Your daughter will never forget that and you are twice the man most Dad's are. That is love in it's truest form. Wear that polish proudly!

I have stayed away from this site for many years for one resason, I don't do CT, I don't see a need for it when the evil power does is in plain view. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a good CT every now and then, but I don't spend very much time on it. But I ran across a link to this site and decided to give it a go. What I found was regardless of ones interests of people was the actual facts, I like that.

Most of you grasped my personal writing style, a catchy title (the point) the body (personal example) the question (generic to the example)

If you were somehow offended that is totally on you, my words have no power over your feelings, thoughts or emotions

reply to post by NuroSlam


Even 15 years ago this psychologist would have balked at going out in public like that.

Now, I think your priorities are where they should be or close to it.

Certainly the research shows that

KIDS WHO *FEEL* LOVED turn out successful adults compared to those who don't.

That one issue accounted for 80% of the variance. Not whether kids WERE loved . . .

but whether they FELT loved.

I'd guess your daughter feels loved by you. Another flag and a star for you.

Successful adults was defined in the study of all studies as

1. good work record
2. never on welfare
3. stable marriage
4. not in trouble with the law
and maybe

5. no significant mental health problems.

reply to post by BrianC


Please help do all you can to decrease any possibility that

--selfishness
--pride
--ATTACHMENT DISORDER on your part or mother's part
--immaturity
--poor communication skills etc. end your partnership.

The best thing for a child is for their parents to love each other and be in the same home for them demonstrating their love for each other and for the child.

Get whatever therapy works toward such ends. If the first 3 therapists don't work, try another 4 or another 8 or another 12 until you find one that helps you make lasting progress.

PLEASE

Originally posted by TKDRL
Wow, I find it amazing how people can come into such a lighthearted topic and try to chop at the OP.... I feel sorry for people like that... Did you ever think that it is maybe better to improve your own self image, instead of trying to spew negative energy at other people?

edit on Sun, 19 Jun 2011 17:16:07 -0500 by TKDRL because: (no reason given)

I've always referred to this as the @sshole factor. They will always exist and the people around them know what they are as well. They aren't just mean spirited p*ricks on the internet; they are that way in every aspect of their lives. I would guess they spend their days alone, in their bedrooms, on the internet and their parents will just want them out of their face. They've never been on a real family vacation, are likely atheists and hate their teachers as well. Education is stupid and cops should all be shot.

They will blossom into hopeless malcontents. The'll hate their boss and their job and their neighbors and will find fault in everybody and everything. They are the epitome of misery and are truly better off dead, in every sense of the word. I've worked with this type and have known many of them throughout my life. They really aren't worth wasting a moment on. They are like a housefly, brush them off and move on. They have no real significance.

It's amazing to see that there are some good people out there, make sure whatever you do you're always there for your child, that's all that matters. I hope all is well, happy fathers day buddy! Keep it moving!

My first ever post on ATS (I just read and learn for now) - To the OP - kudos for being a good dad! Little girls need their father - no how goofy or silly it may seem at the time that's what those childhood memories are made of. I was lucky enough to have two "dads" - my father and grandfather - though we didn't always see eye to eye. Happy belated Father's Day to all the dads on here

Originally posted by 0288796

Originally posted by tom goose
You people are WACK!!!!

Sounds like some of you a little resentful to how you were raised or maybe how you raise your kids.

How can you be trolling by expressing how much you enjoy spending time with your kids?

He is a troll. His "men" and real men bs......because we choose not to cross dress. If he's working 18 hours, how is he still posting on ATS?

@ 0288796 OP said he was posting before he left for work. With the way this world is these days, it seems like one would look at this thread as an opportunity to expound on happy thoughts, maybe even share a happy story or two about their own dad, or their own experience about being a dad. If we were all in a room together with the OP, and he told us the same story, I guarantee that more than one father would say something like, "Well, I can't say anything, because my daughter made me do this the other day," and I bet there would be a laugh or two because of the stories shared.

It's called making conversation. But, because someone posts it on a forum, it means their trying to get attention, I guess, and not sharing a story in the hopes that someone else would share a story as well, or comment (in a positive way) on the story they shared.

But like I said in an earlier post on this same thread, it seems like the OP reminded some people of something not so great from their own personal experiences, and they decided to take it out on him for some reason.

It seems like people would want to spread happiness and think and talk about positive things, but apparently not.

Absolutely awesome. I have three boys so will have to wait till I'm a grandfather for little girls.

I wonder how many women out there would get gumboots on and play in the mud, climb trees and cliffs and play cowboys and indians around the streets.

My mother did!

reply to post by jeramie


Well I would have to say that I would to share a story about myown father or even grandfather, unfortunatly neither ever existed in my life. I'm not bitter, remorseful, its just the way life rolls.

Originally posted by 0288796

Originally posted by projectvxn
Some of the people in this thread are just a bunch of unhappy malcontents seeking to make themselves feel better about their masculinity by putting down the OP.

It's pathetic. A man shows some love for his daughter and people wanna tear that down. This is why ATSers should never seek to get to know other posters or open up about anything personal. There's always a plethora of internet A-hole's seeking to tear someone down because their lives are just that pathetic.

No. The OP is a troll. His post was all about himself and how such a great father he is. He sickens me.

Dude...If you think he's a troll and not a father sharing a personal experience then just don't post in this thread. There are plenty of other threads for you to post your opinions in.

No need to go for the jugular just because you don't like the topic.

reply to post by NuroSlam


S&F.

My take:
I can almost guarantee you that your daughter knows the majority of men in our society do not wear nail polish or carry Tinkerbell wallets. Gender roles are recognized and accepted by children at a very young age. The fact that her interests as a 6 year old involve makeup, nail polish and hairdos illustrate that fact. So it follows that she is fully aware that you, as a man, but more importantly as her dad, are indulging her somewhat by "letting" her do your nails and makeup. I see that as a good thing!

But the thing that jumps out at me first is not the fact that you and your daughter share hairdo-ing, and nail polishing activities and then have no compunctions about leaving the house all painted and made-up. What jumps out at me first are the wonderful positive things you are teaching her by your actions. You are demonstrating to her that you love her enough to go against the grain of society for her, even with something as insignificant as a little nail polish. Your actions are teaching her about unconditional love. By your example, she is learning how to love someone so much that the sometimes pointless dictates of society become unimportant in the face of that love. You are showing her that sometimes it's okay to unselfishly indulge the whims of someone you love, simply because, well, you love them! I bet she will grow up being able to tell you anything, because she will have learned that you love her so much that she she has your unconditional love, not necessarily unconditional approval -- after all, there are bound to be times when she makes bad choices or mistakes -- but she will always know that you will love her no matter what.

Also, and perhaps even more importantly, she is learning self-confidence from you. She sees how you react to those who stare disapprovingly at your fuchsia fingernails or your Tinkerbell wallet. She is learning from you how to be comfortable in her own skin, and that snide comments or judgmental looks from other people don't matter if you are okay with yourself. Later, she'll be more likely to be able to brush off any cruel or unkind words of others (bullying anyone?) and will be proud of herself for who she is and what she believes in. She will have learned from you to base her own self worth not solely on the opinions of others, but on what she thinks of herself.

With a dad like you teaching her by your loving example, she is going to grow up to be a fine and strong young woman. And as she continues to mature, she will thank you over and over again for nurturing her and giving her such a solid foundation on which to stand. I lost my dad about two years ago, but I still find myself thanking him nearly every single day for showing me how to navigate this often confusing world we live in simply by being the man and the father he was.

I raise my glass to you, NuroSlam, for doing the same for your daughter simply by being the man and the father you are. Happy Father's Day to you!

reply to post by BrianC


Hi Brian, take it from a former pregnant lady, pregnant ladies about to "pop" soon are usually horrid to live with. If she was a nice person before and is godzilla now, its not her fault, just biology doing its thing. Try not to let it get you down. If you loved her enough to conceive a child with her in the first place, try to hang in there and be patient. The first year is really rough. Sleep deprivation for both of you, and her hormones aren't going to calm down for a good few months afterward and she might be physically wiped out, especially if she breastfeeds. It's a real test of a relationship. A lot of people don't realize it until they actually go through it. And 21 is not an easy age to go through that because usually a lot of other areas in your life aren't settled and you might not have had enough time to prepare for this. I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just telling you like it is. There will be good points, too. Be strong. Be informed, too. I went through post partum depression that changed my personality quite a bit and we didn't know what was going at first. Even if you find out you two really can't be together, I hope you can be friends. When I talk to my daughter I see how much it benefits her that her father and I respect one another. Kids whose parents can't get along can still thrive, but it's harder that way. I wish you the best and I think you sound like a smart guy who will give it your all.

As for the rest of this thread, it has turned very strange. I expect soon somebody will set up a celebrity boxing match between Dennis Rodman and A Rod. Talk about a knock down DRAG out fight.

reply to post by SheeplFlavoredAgain


Thank you very much for your support Its a long story that I'm too tired to get into but I really am trying and will continue to. You're right though, this is a bad time to make any relationship decisions since pregnancy does change a person quite a bit for quite some time. Thank again for the help and advice!

What the hell?

Is this an excuse for you to talk about yourself?

Go find a different forum.

reply to post by Char-Lee


sorry I was reading your post about how you raised your children and when I got to the part where you mentioned CEO material it reminded me of when I was working as an assistant to the CEO of my company and coordinating a reception for visiting executives. I probably shouldn't mention the company so I won't, but you could have knocked me over with a feather when I got a look at one of the top execs of one of the companies. He came over to ask for my assistance in setting up for a presentation. He had tweezed eyebrows and clear nail polish! This was back in 1995 when, as far as I know, that look wasn't popular like it is now. I have no idea of his sexual orientation but over time as he continued to do business with us, I came to learn he had a wife, for whatever that is worth these days, My own boss had neon orange hair. I suspect he was trying to cover gray hair, but instead of just getting on with it and using a proper dye like women use, he was using one of those stupid gradual color metallic salt based restorers marketed to men that never worked but turned hair orange or sickly yellow.

Honestly, none of the executives looked like anything I'd have wanted to bring home to meet mom and dad. And their behavior was equally appalling. A bigger bunch of immature whining babies, I hope to never again meet in my life. I had far more respect for the lower ranking clerks and engineers. If you measure success by money and status and job title, apparently plenty of people can get all that looking flat out odd and acting flat out weird.