Ask someone with Schizophrenia anything.

Originally posted by Big Raging Loner
Anyway what I would like to know is when you have visual hallucinations, how real do they appear to you?

If you've ever experienced sleep paralysis, that's a taste of what It's like.

They don't stay very long, but they look as real as you can imagine. They appear as things do in dreams.

Originally posted by Big Raging Loner
You mentioned shadowy figures, but have you ever experienced something which appeared to be very much a physical reality? As in so convincing you could interact with it through touch?

I've never felt anything other than energy given off of my girlfriend at the time. And I've awoken to my bed shaking before.

Originally posted by Paschar0
I see your point when it comes to the ignorance people have for the condition, I think most are just expecting a certain stereotype. From reading your responses, you seem very much in control of your own situation and fairly comfortable with everything, I don't know if I'd call what you have an "illness" as much as simply being different.

Thanks mate.

Originally posted by Paschar0
Do you find yourself "masking" your normal behavior in public to blend in?
If so, is it something that takes more effort the longer you have to do it?
Have you ever "lost it" publicly?

Yes, I mask my behavior in public by being quiet, and keeping my eyes focused on something like, the patterns everywhere, or just observing my surroundings.

And it can become quite draining in public, so yeah, I have to put in more effort the longer I'm in an uncomfortable situation, obviously.

Yes, I've had three pretty bad panic attacks in public. One time I even fainted.. It was pretty embarrassing.

Thank you for your questions.

Schizophrenia has two aspects.
First is the bio-chemical aspects of the brain, which is like the hardware of a computer.
This is difficult to change.
The second is the programming of the brain or mind, just like the software in a computer.
This is actually easy to change if you are VERY motivated to do so.

reply to post by heyJude


Thanks for the quick reply. I got to be honest, to me it doesn't sound any less terrifying the more you understand the illness. Takes alot of strength to deal with it!

You also mentioned dream states and the connection to your waking perceptions, so do your hallucinations take otherworldly shapes and forms, or are they easily recognisable to you?

Originally posted by heyJude

And lol crazy story. Don't take life so seriously would be my advice. Do what thou wilt.

I'd like to thank you for the compliment on my story. The story reflects so much about me and the subject I was interested in, I felt it should provide some entertainment as well as preface to the question I had posed.

I hadn't noticed until now that you finished your response with do as you wilt. I have only heard these words from two of my friends, both have one thing in common, their belief structure. I am excepting of all belief structures and religions, as you've been given the choice. Assuming you understand what I'm talking about. I have to ask... What system of beliefs or religious denomination do you identify with? Please don't feel obligated to respond. It's not my intention to out you or offend you in any way.

Originally posted by Big Raging Loner
reply to post by heyJude

 

Thanks for the quick reply. I got to be honest, to me it doesn't sound any less terrifying the more you understand the illness. Takes alot of strength to deal with it!

Thank you.

Originally posted by Big Raging Loner
You also mentioned dream states and the connection to your waking perceptions, so do your hallucinations take otherworldly shapes and forms, or are they easily recognisable to you?

They are usually recognizable when they are open eye hallucinations, but when I close my eyes I can see anything my mind can come up with.

Originally posted by jrnookiemonster
I'd like to thank you for the compliment on my story. The story reflects so much about me and the subject I was interested in, I felt it should provide some entertainment as well as preface to the question I had posed.

Hehe.

Originally posted by jrnookiemonster
I hadn't noticed until now that you finished your response with do as you wilt. I have only heard these words from two of my friends, both have one thing in common, their belief structure. I am excepting of all belief structures and religions, as you've been given the choice. Assuming you understand what I'm talking about. I have to ask... What system of beliefs or religious denomination do you identify with? Please don't feel obligated to respond. It's not my intention to out you or offend you in any way.

Well I have my own personal beliefs that don't exactly correspond to precisely one of the "main" religions, but I think it would have to be a mix of Buddhism, and Kaballah. But I know what you're asking and yes I'm interested in the Occult, the Golden Dawn, etc.

what music do you listen to and why?

reply to post by austingoeshard


I'm listening to Highway 61 Revisited by Dylan atm.

My favorite bands would have to be The Beatles, and Pink Floyd, because The Beatles were geniuses (Lennon and McCartney, and to a lesser extent, George) and they were the first to do everything. They were bigger than Jesus..

And Pink Floyd because they combined art, concept, and music in such a way that each album was a masterpiece that could be dissected and appreciated, and the music was mind blowing. Amazing musicians, they were great together.

Syd Barrett will always have my heart though.

reply to post by heyJude




Do you ever feel that maybe your not the one who's ill, its just nobody else can see or feel the things you do?

Do you have any talents that are a direct result of your altered mind like art or poetry?

Do you think you maybe drove your mind to become fragmented by constantly searching for answers to big questions?

Originally posted by KrypticCriminal
Do you ever feel that maybe your not the one who's ill, its just nobody else can see or feel the things you do?

I consider myself ill by society's standards. And yes, nobody can feel, or see the things I do.

Originally posted by KrypticCriminal
Do you have any talents that are a direct result of your altered mind like art or poetry?

I'm very good with words, writing, and I consider myself a good artist. And I suppose I can attribute that to my vivid imagination.

Originally posted by KrypticCriminal
Do you think you maybe drove your mind to become fragmented by constantly searching for answers to big questions?

It certainly didn't help my fragile state of mind by constantly exploring the rabbit hole, and spending a lot of time with my head in the clouds.

Originally posted by heyJude

Originally posted by KrypticCriminal
Do you ever feel that maybe your not the one who's ill, its just nobody else can see or feel the things you do?

I consider myself ill by society's standards. And yes, nobody can feel, or see the things I do.

Originally posted by KrypticCriminal
Do you have any talents that are a direct result of your altered mind like art or poetry?

I'm very good with words, writing, and I consider myself a good artist. And I suppose I can attribute that to my vivid imagination.

Originally posted by KrypticCriminal
Do you think you maybe drove your mind to become fragmented by constantly searching for answers to big questions?

It certainly didn't help my fragile state of mind by constantly exploring the rabbit hole, and spending a lot of time with my head in the clouds.

thanks for your answers. Im bipolar so i can somewhat relate to what you must go through when you fall off the cliff. As a poet myself i actualy get a lot of inspiration from exploring the crazier side of my personality and ive realised that its nothing to be afraid of. Though i do ocationaly need to be reined in. Just think of it this way. You have a unique perspective on the world, that most people cant even imagine. Use it to your advantage and f*ck what society thinks.

Hope all goes well in the future my friend.

reply to post by KrypticCriminal


Danke.

Keep em coming ladies and gents.

Ask someone with Schizophrenia anything, you'll get a different answer each time

reply to post by heyJude


This is one of the most interesting threads I've read in a while. And I don't mean to disrespect you and act like this is entertainment for me but it's just very interesting to hear your point of view on things.

I actually find the way you think very calming. Not sure why. I would say that because you exist in this universe and your mind exists within you, then what you see HAS to be real, it's just that it's real in a way that maybe is just central or local to your individual frequency.

Because the universe is just waves and frequencies, somehow you can access other parts of reality that we can't. So I guess I would say you then have an expanded reality right?

I sometimes go into "myself zones " where I just end up holed up in my basement making music and playing games for a couple weeks without going out. I've always been comfortable being by myself. I find it very relaxing and comforting knowing I can do what I please with nobody or nothing to bother me. I feel I get to learn more about myself this way.

Anyways, I could not imagine going 3 years without being outside or in public but I would guess it would but a great struggle. I recently had my first ...I guess you could call it panic attack. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the ER. I guess it's just an electronic hicup or loop that makes my left pec muscle beat like crazy and I get shaky and kind of short of breath....it's not my heart I checked but it's all related to stress, and I now find it's hard to be around a lot of people and deal with it without it happening...( this just happened 5 days ago ) so yea I can relate to you on that somewhat but not really.

I just feel bad for you really. Not like super bad because by doing what you do, you actually get to avoid a lot of dumb parts of society..lol

Sorry for rambling but I felt like sharing that with you.

1.) Would you be interested in sharing any of your art with us. I love art and pictures and drawing and paintings so I would love to see it just because.

2.) You said you make music too ? or am I mistaken ? If so, what kind? and how does what you have effect either of these.

3.) Do you try and draw/paint things you have hallucinated before ? or is it more like you can create whatever you want and then see it vividly enough to re-create it ?

4.) Have you ever tried listening to certain types of music maybe to help your symptoms and if so has it helped ?

5.) What is your view on what happens to us when we die ? and what happens after the fact ?

6.) About this John Lennon thing.....Would you be comfortable elaborating more on it or is it too personal ?

I'll have more questions later most likely.....

Thank you for being brave enough to share all of this personal information about yourself with us.

Peace

reply to post by LuisCyfer


82 Pancakes
:-)

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
This is one of the most interesting threads I've read in a while. And I don't mean to disrespect you and act like this is entertainment for me but it's just very interesting to hear your point of view on things.

Thanks, but this is more like an experiment for me.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
I actually find the way you think very calming. Not sure why. I would say that because you exist in this universe and your mind exists within you, then what you see HAS to be real, it's just that it's real in a way that maybe is just central or local to your individual frequency.

Yup, exactly. And thanks again.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
Because the universe is just waves and frequencies, somehow you can access other parts of reality that we can't. So I guess I would say you then have an expanded reality right?

Yeah, like I said in a previous post, my brain is operating at the same frequency as when I'm in a sleep phase. It's all about energy, and frequency, vibrations, etc.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
I sometimes go into "myself zones " where I just end up holed up in my basement making music and playing games for a couple weeks without going out. I've always been comfortable being by myself. I find it very relaxing and comforting knowing I can do what I please with nobody or nothing to bother me. I feel I get to learn more about myself this way.

A person is only himself when he/she is alone. Or if you're with a person who you love dearly..

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
I just feel bad for you really. Not like super bad because by doing what you do, you actually get to avoid a lot of dumb parts of society..lol

I feel bad for all of us. There is no one "happier", in my opinion, than the dead. They do away with the happy/sad duality altogether.

If the collective dead were able to feel empathy, they would surely feel bad for us, the living. The luckiest of all however are the unborn, or the yet-to be born. But in the end, is there even a difference between the dead and the unborn.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
1.) Would you be interested in sharing any of your art with us. I love art and pictures and drawing and paintings so I would love to see it just because.

I don't have a scanner atm, and I'm kind of self conscious about my art. I destroy nearly everything I make.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
2.) You said you make music too ? or am I mistaken ? If so, what kind? and how does what you have effect either of these.

Yeah I'm pretty much naturally gifted in music. It's not even like, something I do a lot, but I'm good at every instrument it seems. I have several guitars, one electric, two acoustic, and a drum set. But I can play piano/keyboards, and anything else!

I also sing. I've recorded myself several times playing, and a couple people have heard me sing. I'm only starting to mess around with some music software..

I have Synesthesia, and some other stuff, and I think musically as well, so music for me is crazy to experience. It's like, pure will, and emotion in the abstract.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
3.) Do you try and draw/paint things you have hallucinated before ? or is it more like you can create whatever you want and then see it vividly enough to re-create it ?

Yeah I do. (Read ze previous post). And yes of course I draw the things I see. I can even turn the things I see into music, and then seee the music.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
4.) Have you ever tried listening to certain types of music maybe to help your symptoms

Nope. Would Floyd make them worse?

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
5.) What is your view on what happens to us when we die ? and what happens after the fact ?

I know what it's like to be deaaaaaad. But no seriously, I think our astral body (The energy in our bodies, the chakras, etc) (The "Body" you "use" in a dream) will linger on for a bit longer. While your mind gets lost in a dark void forever; spiraling and collapsing in on itself. Your personality, your memories, your thoughts, everything you KNOW and hold dear will become nothingness.

But something will remain. From that nothingness, much like after a deep sleep, that nothingness that precedes the first time you open your eyes the next morning, there will spring forth a consciousness. So "you" will again be plucked from chaos and given awareness, and the process starts over.

I mean, everyone here must has been dead before. So chances are when we die, we'll open our eyes, and wake up eventually, after that seemingly endless sleep. And once you do, you'll breathe in a deep sigh; Ah, to be again. To suffer. At least it's a concept you're vaguely familiar with. From that point onwards you paint the Tabula Rasa that is your mind.

Out of the frying pan into the fire?

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
6.) About this John Lennon thing.....Would you be comfortable elaborating more on it or is it too personal ?

Semi srs.

Originally posted by LucidDreamer85
I'll have more questions later most likely.....

Thank you for being brave enough to share all of this personal information about yourself with us.

Peace

You mentioned the Golden Dawn, which led me to... a question. What do you think about madness as relating to the occult? Is it a byproduct of our madness, a fabrication of our flying head monkeys? or are we into it because we're already half in and half out of this thin reality? I think it's the latter, mostly. What about you?



(Oh John Lennon... I met him in a dream once, in a darkened theater behind the curtain, like the cosmic backstage. He told me I wasn't supposed to be there at the time, then talked for hours anyway. He avuncularly kissed me on the forehead at the end, to make me forget what he said, before he sent me Elsewhere, though he did tell me such wonderful things. I sincerely believe it was him.)

where do you see yourself in the future, say 10 years?

reply to post by Serizawa


I hope so, because I do it all the time.

I'm a musician as well, and the songs I hear in my head are easily modulated from one key to another, or from one tempo to another. I find that if I focus on a new song too much, it changes into something else, which is also useful at times. I get hung up on the significance of tiny things, and see my universe as completely malleable. I can see into the ultraviolet spectrum. I lucid dream a tower that belongs to a future version of myself and I go there to steal inspiration, in the form of poetry, pictures and songs. I am aware that my future self is aware of my trespasses, but tolerates them. Sometimes, I think he leaves the scraps about so that I will find and make use of them.

I find it trivial to read / feel / hear the emotions of others. I get a whiff of the odor of their unconsciousness when I am out in a large crowd situation, like an arena, or a grocery store. Their pre-conscious thought patterns have color and shape, and even scent, long before they can be articulated into words.

All that said, I am very high functioning, social and outgoing. I love to perform and play. I do find that sometimes, after a long period of being in a group of people, I suddenly desire to be alone, but I have always considered that to be the normal consequence of the more outgoing moments. I am married and have children. I am capable of holding jobs and making money. I prefer to be creative, but I think all artists feel that way.

I have never been diagnosed schizophrenic, though last summer I was nearly hospitalized for bipolar / depression. I realized what the doctor was doing and talked him out of it. I am fairly good at appearing lucid and "normal;" whatever that means.

My only question for the OP is this: What do the words "Traveller outside the circles" mean to you, if anything.