what happened to the old fashined 50s way of life?

Originally posted by HarmonicNights
reply to post by The Sword

 

No one thinks that the 50's were free of immorality. But it was certainly shunned to a greater extent rather than encouraged and glamorized like today.

The 50s were suppressed. By government - religion - society - laws - etc.

Personal responsibility when you are given the freedom to be - - - now that's really saying something.

reply to post by Annee


Suppressed...when compared to today? Having a disciplined, mature society that values morailty is not 'suppression'.

Originally posted by HarmonicNights
reply to post by Annee

 

Suppressed...when compared to today?

Having a disciplined, mature society that values morailty is not 'suppression'.

I lived it. I am 65. You are 19.

You completely missed the point again. Nothing is harder then self-discipline. It is far easier if society does it for you. Its lazy and suppressive.

Who exactly determines morality - - and what that morality is?

reply to post by Annee


I disagree that self-discipline is difficult. It's not for me anyway. I don't agree with the Spock ideology of completely disregarding discipline in upbringing. This "anything goes" and "there's no such thing as right and wrong" notion is nothing short of dangerous and destructive. Morality and civility go hand in hand. Morality comes from common sense.

Originally posted by HarmonicNights
I disagree that self-discipline is difficult. It's not for me anyway.

So I thought at 19 (actually 20) - - when I married my high school sweetheart in a Christian church wedding. I had ideally carefully planned out my life. Unfortunately - - "LIFE" often has a mind of its own.

What exactly do your mean self-discipline is not for you - anyway?

This "anything goes" and "there's no such thing as right and wrong" notion is nothing short of dangerous and destructive.

Who do you know that really thinks and lives that way?

Morality and civility go hand in hand. Morality comes from common sense.

So an Atheist is more moral and civil - - then a God believer?

reply to post by Annee


I mean that self-discipline isn't difficult for me, although it may be for more impulsive people. There are actually some teachers, especially college professors who try to indoctrinate their students with the "no such thing as right and wrong" ideal. And obviously anarchists believe "anything goes". Not sure what you mean with the atheist comment.

reply to post by RichardA


I stopped taking the bible's advice when my husband decided he didn't want to go to church anymore, and wanted me home doing crap for him, and then the wispers in the church of "well, he doesn't want her to be here, she shouldn't be here...."
the bible, I do believe clearly gives the man, be it husband, or father, the authority to stand between her and god, and causes a tad few murky areas....
it's wrong to lie, but then sarah is held as an example, someone who lied, and almost ended up commiting adultery, at her husband's command.....

sorry, there's a conflict in the bible.....
God has made salvation a personal choice, made within the heart of every man and women, and yet, women cannot accept that salvation, unless the man chooses it for her???

reply to post by The Sword


actually sword, ask a therapist or psychologist. very very few relationships are 50/50. That is a lie we like to tell ourselves, If a 'good' christian marriage goes belly up because the man had his pants down, then it wasn't a good christian marriage.

As far as the other comments on my post, please let me explain before you think I am some kind of knuckle dragging neanderthal. For 99% of human history men and women have fallen into two very seperate but nessessary roles. Women were the child bearers and nurturers. Men were the protectors and providers. It has only been in the last 100 years or so that these roles have begun to change. Smart men throughout history have listened to women, esp their wives if only to insure domestic tranquility. Men and women both need their respective roles in society and in relationships for these things to work. Should women be relegated to basically being servants? Sometimes, but that goes into a whole seperate subject that I really don't feel like getting into right now as it is 4 am and I just worked a double.

In my house, my wife and I discuss things and usually come to some form of agreement. If we are unable to reach an agreement, I have final say. That is my right as provider and protector. (this is why I say no relationship is 50/50. Someone will always have final say, even if you divide the final say between the two, one will still be more dominant. Sorry folks, basic human nature.) Does that make my wife less valuable than me in the relationship? Hell no, It simple means that she will spit in my coffee tomorrow. In all seriousness though, I love and respect all women BUT in my house its my rules. Don't like it there's the door.

reply to post by alysha.angel


50 or 60 years ago when wives stayed home raised the kids took care of the shopping housework ect things n my opinion were a lot simpler.

when people got married back then they took their weddng vows seriously and they stayed married 9 tmes outta 10 for life .




this sounds like my cousins up in Harrisburg PA...Irish Catholics

Protestants in the 50s were more likely to get seperated, divorced than the Catholics
'Colored's' as they were called back then sure didn't have a stay-at-home homemaker-mom...
the wages were so low that most were doing double duty as either maids or cooks,
and they had to take public transportation to do 'shopping' ...from somewhere in their
own ghettos or shanty-town areas of the cities.


the ideal social tier i get from the picture you paint of the '50s was nothing like reality...
the 50s were a time of social upheaval, the Rebels-without-a-cause generation...
the beat generation...pot got out from just the ghettos and into progressive households.
Pill popping started getting out of hand, Peyton Place was not just a fictional TV show,
it reflected a demographic of America...
remember that Pres. Eisenhower warned us people to not forget the military-industrial
complex as a cabal which would be able to infest the political landscape to the detriment
of the populace
~all these things were actively breeding & growing within the family since the late 1940s
and bursting when Americans Innocence died on a Nov 22nd, in Dallas TX ~

Originally posted by RichardA
In all seriousness though, I love and respect all women BUT in my house its my rules. Don't like it there's the door.

Well if you've found a woman to put up with that, bully for you!
Seriously I remember the 60s as being a lot less frantic. I think one problem is we live in a 'now' age, an age of instant communication - with resultant pressures. We have also bred a selfish and rather greedy generation. It's rather silly, is it not, to lay all ills at the feet of 'womens lib'?
I view liberation as something which allows both genders to be themselves. Not every man is a diy genius. Not every woman is good with kids. There is room for all relationships - even Richards
.
In my own relationship there isn't actually an 'ultimate arbiter'. If you want that, it's fine. But it's nonsense to say there has to be one. The way it works with us is that we recognise our individual knowledge and skills. It's a matter of consensus. Oh and it's neither my house, nor his house. It's our house. Works for us.

a nice video explaining this time era..

The 60's came, the 70's followed, the 80's, 90's and new Millenium came after that . We cannot...or could not...stay in chariots and wagons for very long, without looking for a better way.

Was it all good? Undoubtedly not, but change is necessary for growth. No more girdles, rolling cigarette packs up your t-shirt sleeve, 25 cents a gallon gas, and 3 stations on your black and white tv.

reply to post by Annee


True. Predating the sexual revolution, women's liberation and civil rights (minorities) of the 1960s.

Originally posted by HarmonicNights
reply to post by Annee

 

I mean that self-discipline isn't difficult for me, although it may be for more impulsive people. There are actually some teachers, especially college professors who try to indoctrinate their students with the "no such thing as right and wrong" ideal. And obviously anarchists believe "anything goes". Not sure what you mean with the atheist comment.

I was the good self-disciplined daughter at 19. Maybe your life will evolve as you see it - - maybe it won't.

Mine turned out to be more like a roller coaster I had no control over. Life can be full of surprises.

I would not want to go back to the suppression of the 50s. I prefer the freedoms of today.

Originally posted by RichardA
I love and respect all women BUT in my house its my rules. Don't like it there's the door.

I chose the door.

No relationship is 50/50. Its more on a sliding scale that switches back and forth between those in a healthy relationship.

I have discovered to stay in a relationship - - you have to have a common goal. That common goal can really be anything - - but it gives you reason for the commitment.

Actually - I think we are living in Amazing historical times.

There is so much going on. No one is being placid.

I understand what you're saying because I have often thought the same things. I've worked full time in my marriage and raised three kids. It was hard and I resented the fact that I'd have to come home from work and cook, clean, do laundry and help the kids with homework, etc. I considered myself as having two full time jobs and I eventually left my day job. Now, I'm a stay-at-home mom/wife and loving it. The quality of our family life is so much better. I cook real meals that are healthier because I have the time to now, whereas before I'd more often than not stop after work to pick up fast food/take out because it was easier. I have the time to help the kids with homework and really pay attention to them because I'm not in such a hurry. I have "me" time now that leaves more time for them. My husband likes me home so much better now and yes, I'm fortunate that I get to. Too many families have both parents working full time jobs and honestly, it does leave the kids on their own more often. I don't want to waste a minute of being a mom because before I know it, the kids will be out of the house. I made a choice and don't regret it. I don't miss the 2000.00 a month I made; I'm saving money by being home. I'm not wasting as much money on convenience items anymore. I have the time and that to me is priceless.

I didn't grow up in the '50's but from what I've gathered it had it's own set of problems. Nothing is ever perfect when it comes to families and making it in this world, I think we all do the best we can with what we have at the time.

Originally posted by Annee
Originally posted by HarmonicNights
reply to post by Annee

 

I was the good self-disciplined daughter at 19. Maybe your life will evolve as you see it - - maybe it won't.

Have I said I have a solid view of my future? No.

I would not want to go back to the suppression of the 50s. I prefer the freedoms of today.

What freedoms do you have now that you didn't have back then? Obviously racial minorities have more freedoms, but other than that...? I would definitely prefer the greater privacy, no government subsidizing women to break up families, no 'thought police', no 'zero tolerance' policy, and not getting molested at the airport.

Originally posted by HarmonicNights
Have I said I have a solid view of my future? No.

Did I say you did? Did I even indicate any such thing? You're only 19.

I suspect the usual norm. College or not. Profession or worker. Marriage or not.

What freedoms do you have now that you didn't have back then? Obviously racial minorities have more freedoms, but other than that...? I would definitely prefer the greater privacy, no government subsidizing women to break up families, no 'thought police', no 'zero tolerance' policy, and not getting molested at the airport.

The thing about Freedoms is - - - its all inclusive. Not just the "goody goodys" get them. (no that is not directed at you).

"government subsidizing women to break up families" - - interesting.

Will be interesting to hear from you in about 10 years after you get out from under your mothers shadow. DON'T take offense - - that applies to anyone who hasn't gotten out - - lived their own life - - and formed their own opinions from their own independent experiences (including myself).

Originally posted by Annee
Originally posted by HarmonicNights

Did I say you did? Did I even indicate any such thing? You're only 19.

You most certainly did and you know it. Or else you wouldn't feel the need to preach "life is full of surprises" as if anyone thinks otherwise. Why do you keep reminding me of my age? I know how old I am.

Will be interesting to hear from you in about 10 years after you get out from under your mothers shadow. DON'T take offense - - that applies to anyone who hasn't gotten out - - lived their own life - - and formed their own opinions from their own independent experiences (including myself).

Man...you've got a lot of nerve. You may be a washed up hippie in your 60s but that doesn't enable you to be some all-seeing, all-knowing superpower that can tell others exactly how they think, live and what they've experienced. While you may have always looked to others (Gloria Steinem, Betty Frieden etc.) to form your opinons, that doesn't mean others are that sheepish. I'm guessing your talking points are coming from experience with a "deadbeat husband", as you've previously mentioned. Those experiences don't change the facts. You allow your personal experiences to cloud your ability to think logically and rationally and to see things for what they are, hence your forming of opinions based soley on your personal experiences. It seems that YOU are the naive one who lives in some small boxed-in world. Another thing, it would be helpful if you would type coherently rather than just spouting off whatever you think 'sounds' good.