Please listen to what people on this thread have had to say.
There isn't a bad word or suggestion here.
If this relationship is online then, in your real life, you are not dependent on this man for anything. I don't know if it is that knowledge that
makes him so controlling, but I suspect it may be.
Away from the computer you have a life that he has no real access to, and that is the life you ought to be cherishing and paying attention to.
I'm not the first to say that he is behind your lack of confidence and low self esteem. He is chipping away at you daily and if it continues there
will be nothing of 'real' you left.
I know you believe that he is your soul mate. Fair enough - I can't say if he is or he isn't. But what good does that do you?
A person can build a life for themselves without the presence of their soul mate, particularly a controlling, nasty, deceiving bully that yours
appears to be.
Maybe, as your soul mate, it is his purpose in your life to encourage you to be a more independent person. Which you can become by standing up to him,
acknowledging that all the things he has said about you are untrue, and taking the first steps into a life where you can find and appreciate people
who love and appreciate you.
If you can take this as a harsh lesson in life, then he will have fulfilled his purpose. And that's the kindest interpretation I can put on his
behaviour. And it's stretched me a bit to do it
Really, take to heart what people have said. Someone wisely pointed out that you have had more support on this thread from strangers than you have had
(or are likely to have) from this man.
Please, put all that thought and attention you give to him to a better use. That is, use it to improve your lot in life.
I do wish you well and I hope for good things and people in your life.