posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 05:00 PM
I need some real advice. This is very personal, and I really would like to hear some honest opinions and sincere posts. I'm very sensitive, and this
is a very touchy subject, so please refrain from making unnecessarily rude comments.
Ok, so, I've been in what I'd call a pseudo-relationship. I don't even know how to begin to explain it, but here goes...
My significant other and I have known each other in face-to-face time for like 1/2 a year. We are in a long distance relationship (not going to get
into details), that is primarily internet-based. This is a kind of 'new' relationship, that officially bloomed early this year, though, we've known
of one another for 5 years. All of our communication is online, and he NEVER talks to me directly. We just kinda play W.O.W all the time, and speak
through our Characters to each other.
The reason why I call this an 'abusive' relationship, is for a few reasons (explanations below):
(1) The Way he talks to me.
(2) My lack of privacy.
(3) The Fact that nobody knows I'm his girlfriend.
1. He talks down to me - on many occasions, he's outright told me that I was "Worthless" "Stupid" called me names like "Cheese face" alluded to
me being a "sociopath" and often accused me of cheating on him. Whenever he gives advice, it's all wrong, and by wrong, I mean, it's insensitive.
Instead of helping me to grow as a person, he uses tasteless comments to sort of 'steer' me into the direction HE believes is best. Sometimes, he
makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, but, most of the time, he puts so much pressure on me, to be and look a certain way, that it puts me into
a complete depression. He'll talk about how good he thinks other women look, but he never tells me I am beautiful.
2. Lack of Privacy - As stated, our relationship is completely online, we never see one another outside of our computer screens. Since we are on WOW
like all the time, we know where one another is, and we do exchange images. I know of at least one incident, where I discovered that he had shared
some very private pictures with some of his other online friends. They were talking about it, making cruel comments, and it honestly made me want to
vanish off the face of the planet, because I had shared something that I considered special, with him (because I believed I was giving the picture to
him) only to be tricked into giving it to one of his friends, and he knew about it, he was the one who set it up. Never had I been so embarrassed
before in my entire life, and this is something I had to get counseling for, and I still have not been able to get over it.
Not only has he allowed my images to be spread across the internet, but he also heavily monitors my online activity, wants to know my passwords to
sites, and reads my emails from time to time. I have an online diary that I set to private, but if I don't put something on there that he likes, he
shuts it down, until he wants me to write again. There is a ton of other stuff I could bring up, but I think it might creep out almost anyone that
read it, so, just know that he pretty much rides my arse all the time, and controls what I do and see on the internet, to an extent.
3. Nobody knows I'm his girlfriend - To my knowledge, he has not told anyone that I exist, other than his online friends. He has hinted to the two of
us getting married, but really, who would be at the wedding? He never lets me around his friends or family when he does come into town, it's almost
like he's ashamed of me.
If you're still reading this, then you probably do agree with him, that I am a stupid woman for ever putting up with his sh#. I think it is safe to
call this an abusive relationship, because it has put me in the hospital/psychward 3 times (yeah, 3) and I've lost almost all of my savings just
trying to pay off the medical bills from it. I have lost all of my friends (except 2) and I have become a bitter woman. I know it is not a healthy
relationship, but I have had many undeniably spiritual things happen to me, that have truly convinced me that I am suppose to be with him (if you wish
to know about them, U2U me). Whenever I have been around him, in person, I feel a connection, I always have, it truly was love at first sight, but I
wasn't looking at his body or outside appearances, it was what I saw inside of him that first attracted me. I believe he is my soulmate, but, this
relationship is killing me in every single way.
Please ATS help, I've been on this site since 2007, and I would really like to hear from some of you who have more experience with life and
relationships (I'm 23). And please, really, if you have nothing helpful or nice to say, then please do not post here.