Wal-Mart Shopper Slaps Crying Child

reply to post by dooper


I understand, you were raised old school and you carried on the tradition of violence.

I respect many of your posts but I also notice you are very comfortable with violence, often lethal violence.

I have commented before in threads on this issue. I believe parents who believe they command respect from their children via violent discipline are simply deluded and rather have only managed to manipulate and control a lesser powerful human by inducing fear.

Personally, I like to think we are evolving as conscious beings, and many other approaches are available. However, they often take far more personal effort, self control and self awareness.

Stories of 'new age' parents who let their kids run riot are irrelevant. When you meet children of more fully conscious parents who refuse to resort to violence (they are few and far between), the difference in their demeanor, sensitivity and aliveness is quite striking.

Well at least, that's my view and my experience.

I have a 5 yr old and a 19 month old. I almost never take them shopping with me, especially if I know it's going to take more than 10 minutes. I don't like to be embarrassed. They're not usually that bad in stores, but people have different standards of "good child" conduct and I don't like giving people a reason to judge my parenting if my child happens to whine, cry, or start talking to random people about "Nazi bad guys" (my 5yr old likes Indiana Jones movies)...

When I see people at the store with "unruly" kids, I usually smile at them kind of awkwardly while thanking my lucky stars that I can leave mine home with my husband. It's annoying, sure, but none of my business. That man is crazy for thinking he could do that and get away with it. I would go off on a stranger for touching my child.

I was visiting an old friend a couple weeks ago at her house. Her 5 yr old son was being a brat, she yelled at him, he threw a toy at her because she didn't give him whatever it was he wanted, then she smacked his chest with the back of her hand and said "if you do that again i'll smack you with my other hand and you'll get my ring"... I thought to myself "whoa, your redneck is showing, hun." I don't know what to do about her son, but thank my lucky stars he's not mine.

If I were to tell her she shouldn't smack him like that, she could tell me I'm not a good parent because my kids aren't vaccinated and I'm not sending my daughter to school. We all have different standards of "good parenting".

reply to post by dooper

It sounds like you are a good parent.
But still, you cannot tell me that a crying child is the result of a bad parent. I don't care how many "stories of old" you tell. Sometimes sh#t happens and children cry.
This doesn't mean that the parent is doing a bad job. NOR does it give any grounds for any sort of justification of some ass walking up and taking matters into his own hands.
If that had happened in my presence, my child or not, the man may not be alive today.

Hahaha...damn kids

I probably would have laughed if I saw this happen, kids are so damn annoying.

It also said she had a little redness, no bruise or anything, so get over it. You shouldn't have you kids out in public if they can't shut the # up.

[edit on 2-9-2009 by griftin]

Wow! I hope Bubba slaps him around in prison when he sqweals like a pig.

What a miserable excuse for a human.

reply to post by RogerT


It is a case of "Natural Consequences." Nature won't negotiate with them and explain things in detail, and hope they don't get their feelings hurt. They only get one chance at stepping off a curb in front of a bus, no do overs, no counseling, no psychology! Rather than learn hard lessons from nature, I prefer to give them "real" consequences in a controlled environment where they have a chance to learn from their misbehaviour!

Sure it inflicts some temporary pain, and it causes some emotional trauma. That is life! Life is traumatic, but I prefer them to experience it in a loving environment instead of out on the real world!

As I said, I also rarely have the occasion to use physical punishment, because my two boys know that I will use it, and that I will follow through on my threats. I don't have to constantly repeat myself, or beg with them, or yell at them. They respect me, and I am fair with them.

reply to post by cautiouslypessimistic


Violence begets violence is really too passive in my book. In terms of the child, yeah so it may become mute in a public setting or something of the sort, and at two years old they can still learn to change if there are any supposed lasting mental effects. Sorry but it is a crazy world, each of us have to deal with it alone.

Continuing on with the quote "Violence begets violence" not having to deal with the child, it is probably one of the most overglorified, looks good on paper but fails in actual situations as I have ever seen. Let me tell you what "most" (not all) passifists get for their stand against violence,
-some people attack them when they are angry anyways, because they find them annoying
-often they a betas in the community and have less self confidence
- often dont have a competitive drive so they find their nitch but dont get ahead in life.

I'm not saying it's bad or stupid, people of like minds are doing it together get along well. But that is adults. This world, reality, is based on hardship, pain, and rising above it through personal strength. This 2 year old child maybe has many many years to rise above these so called nightmares.

As my first post in the thread says, I dont condemn the guy for doing it, I think he should have punishment, but I also think that the mother of the child should be charged with child neglect and endangerment as much as the guy could be charged for assault. Takes two to tango, the guy had his faults, and the mother had hers. Neither helped the situation so both parties are guilty.

Anyone did that to one of my kids while I was there, they'd be leaving in an ambulance. If they did it when I wasn't there, I would find them and the end result would be the same.

All these people who expect kids to be angels need to grow up and get a grip on the simple realities of parenthood. Kids aren't happy all the time. Sometimes they get ill and sometimes they get bored and sometimes they get tired and a child only has a few viable options of communication to it because its a child, and not a fully grown adult. Sometimes you cannot stop them crying at all, despite however much attention you foster on them and anyone who has had to walk a tired crying child to sleep over the space of an hour or more knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Sometimes it is simply not feasible to drop everything and remove a crying child out of the way of sociopaths who have no tolerance for anything, because you know what - the parents have a life to lead to - and shopping in a supermarket is a necessity. Its easier for a single person without kids to get the hell out of the way if needs be.

If the simple act of a child being upset offends someone to the point of slapping the kid - which is common assault and battery - then I suggest they shop in the middle of the night, and spend their days in a quiet room whilst investing some serious money in getting psychiatric help over their anger management issues.

Originally posted by Violet Sky
Wow! I hope Bubba slaps him around in prison when he sqweals like a pig.

What a miserable excuse for a human.

You want him to go to prison and get raped because he slapped a little kid so she would shut up?

You sound like the miserable excuse for a human being.

[edit on 2-9-2009 by griftin]

Originally posted by furzball
reply to post by cautiouslypessimistic

 

Violence begets violence is really too passive in my book. In terms of the child, yeah so it may become mute in a public setting or something of the sort, and at two years old they can still learn to change if there are any supposed lasting mental effects. Sorry but it is a crazy world, each of us have to deal with it alone.

Continuing on with the quote "Violence begets violence" not having to deal with the child, it is probably one of the most overglorified, looks good on paper but fails in actual situations as I have ever seen. Let me tell you what "most" (not all) passifists get for their stand against violence,
-some people attack them when they are angry anyways, because they find them annoying
-often they a betas in the community and have less self confidence
- often dont have a competitive drive so they find their nitch but dont get ahead in life.

I'm not saying it's bad or stupid, people of like minds are doing it together get along well. But that is adults. This world, reality, is based on hardship, pain, and rising above it through personal strength. This 2 year old child maybe has many many years to rise above these so called nightmares.

As my first post in the thread says, I dont condemn the guy for doing it, I think he should have punishment, but I also think that the mother of the child should be charged with child neglect and endangerment as much as the guy could be charged for assault. Takes two to tango, the guy had his faults, and the mother had hers. Neither helped the situation so both parties are guilty.

The thing is, it has been proven a hundred times over that children who come from violent pasts engage in violent behavious. It truly is that simple.

I am not talking about pacifism. I am talking about not hitting children. There is a VERY big difference there.

As far as your examples of what happens to pacifists, could you be any more generic? I can list 100 non-pacifists that fit every category you listed. Try not to be so obtuse.

I had 2 foster kids for a while, 4 and 8yo. Slapping does not have to be a "violent" punishment, and it should never be done in anger. I only had to slap each one 2 or 3 times total, the whole 4 years we had them. I would make them come to me, and then turn around, pull down their pants, and i would swat them good 1 time on the butt. This was ONLY done for safety violations, for disrespect to adults, and for lying. They knew that these were always the results for those infractions, and because of that they instead chose in the future to deal with us respectfully, and to obey safety rules, and to be honest about what they did wrong. THESE 3 PATTERNS ALONE allowed us to develope a relationship of respect, love, and understanding, and i saw these children develop wonderfully while under my care, with discipline and security that very few if any of their peers have.

Originally posted by griftin

Originally posted by Violet Sky
Wow! I hope Bubba slaps him around in prison when he sqweals like a pig.

What a miserable excuse for a human.

You want him to go to prison and get raped because he slapped a little kid so she would shut up?

You sound like the miserable excuse for a human being.

[edit on 2-9-2009 by griftin]

You're darn right. Any adult who finds it okay to hit a child ought to have to go through at least this much...

He didn't hit her. He slapped her and didn't even bruise her, it said she had a little redness on her cheek. When people deserve to go to prison and get raped for that I don't think I want to live here anymore.

Do you realize how bad prison life is? Being sent their for making a kid shut up is ridiculous.

[edit on 2-9-2009 by griftin]

reply to post by JayinAR


Jay, I'm not saying that kids won't cry or misbehave, usually at the most inappropriate moment.

In fact, I also have pity for this woman. I don't know her story - she may be a single mom and doing the best she can - and that SOB that slapped the child - I've already physically slapped the **** out of a man cuffing his child around the head.

This guy should have an old-fashioned, country ass-whipping!

But in GENERAL, children properly disciplined, (and yes, using that ass for what the Good Lord put it there for,) will generally behave, and when they don't, a simple reminder usually goes a long way.

Once in church, my oldest son at about age two got loose, and ran down in front of the congregation with the Preacher.

I was mortified, as one can imagine, and went after him. As I'd go one way, he'd go another. More red-faced as the chase went on, I finally had to resort to some help in cutting off his by now frequent direction of egress.

No, they'll do it to you. No one can humble an adult like a child can.

But no one can TEACH a child like a loving, caring parent.

I just became a grandparent, and my two-year-old grandson has already gotten a couple of little butt blisterings from me.

And we get along great!

And he behaves when we're together.

You see, we have an understanding. Me and a two year old.

Originally posted by griftin
He didn't hit her. He slapped her and didn't even bruise her, it said she had a little redness on her cheek. When people deserve to go to prison and get raped for that I don't think I want to live here anymore.

You honestly condone a grown man assaulting another person's child?

I'm pretty sure I don't want you to live here anymore, either.

Originally posted by cautiouslypessimistic

Originally posted by griftin
He didn't hit her. He slapped her and didn't even bruise her, it said she had a little redness on her cheek. When people deserve to go to prison and get raped for that I don't think I want to live here anymore.

You honestly condone a grown man assaulting another person's child?

I'm pretty sure I don't want you to live here anymore, either.

He didn't assault her.

Originally posted by tjack
I'm sure many will say this but if this had happened to MY kid, it would be me having to show up in court, probably for something really really bad. I have to wonder if I would have had the wherewithall to stop beating that man after he was rendered unconcious.

I thought the same thing, if this was my child, he would be showing up for cruelty to children and Id be showing up for assault

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by RogerT

 

They respect me, and I am fair with them.

More likely they simply fear you.
That's ok, if you're ok with that.
The rest of your post sounded like truth, but actually is just the limited perception of a man lacking better options.
Again, that's ok, if you're ok with that.

Personally, I've never met a 'good' or 'caring' parent, who is reeeealllly ok with inflicting violence on their kids - at some level, they are uncomfortable with it. Unfortunately, they are under the mistaken belief that it is either the best or the only option - both ideas are completely false.

Either that or they are just plain lazy, or even worse, enjoy the thrill of the power trip

Originally posted by griftin

Originally posted by cautiouslypessimistic

Originally posted by griftin
He didn't hit her. He slapped her and didn't even bruise her, it said she had a little redness on her cheek. When people deserve to go to prison and get raped for that I don't think I want to live here anymore.

You honestly condone a grown man assaulting another person's child?

I'm pretty sure I don't want you to live here anymore, either.

He didn't assault her.

He absolutely did. Perhaps you need to look at this:
"At Common Law, an intentional act by one person that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive contact."

or this, from the plain English Law Dicitonary:
"assault
A crime that occurs when one person tries to physically harm another in a way that makes the person under attack feel immediately threatened. Actual physical contact is not necessary; threatening gestures that would alarm any reasonable person can constitute an assault. Assault is often charged with battery, which requires intended physical contact. (See also: battery)"


Do a little research, laddy.

reply to post by Yummy Freelunch


First, Yummy, I miss your old avatar (hair in food). That said, if this jackhole had slapped my daughter when she was two, his picture (whoa, is he UGLY!)) would have looked a little different. His fat bulbous nose would have been considerably flatter!!! Bloodier too! No one has any right to touch someone elses child like that!!!