Book and upcoming TV movie that defies current religious teachings of Gay cure.

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Background Info On The Story and Book.
Prayers For Bobby



[edit on 25/12/2008 by toochaos4u]

Bobby Griffith's four-year struggle with being gay and trying to live a Christian life ended on Aug. 27, 1983. On that day, the twenty-year-old California man backflipped off a freeway overpass in Portland, OR., timing his leap so his body would be struck and killed by an oncoming tractor-trailer. For four years before his death, his religious mother encouraged him to "cure" his homosexuality through prayer.

Bobby also kept an extensive diary during those years, which chronicles his highs and lows.

Confusion and cures

What's wrong with me? I wish I could crawl under a rock. God, do you enjoy seeing me stumble around this world like a stupid idiot? I think you must. There's probably some kind of pill somewhere that would heal my brain or there's probably some kind of vitamin that I'm not getting enough of. -- Bobby's diary entry for Sept. 28 1981

[edit on 25/12/2008 by toochaos4u]

its amazing how its always the extreme cases that are used to prove a point.

i feel for bobby, i really do.

Originally posted by miriam0566
its amazing how its always the extreme cases that are used to prove a point.

i feel for bobby, i really do.

Often that is what it takes for people to listen. There are lots of people just like this guy that end up the same way every year but, get little if any media attention. I read the book and it hit home with me in such a powerful way most just don't know. I know of so many that ended up like this now or with long term problems it is just very sad.





[edit on 26/12/2008 by toochaos4u]

yes, but unfortunately its not a completely unbiased telling of his story.

bobby had suicidal tendencies before facing his homosexuality. this excerpt makes it sound like he was suicidal BECAUSE of his homosexuality.

there are lots of other factors involved too. its just not that simple

Originally posted by miriam0566
yes, but unfortunately its not a completely unbiased telling of his story.

bobby had suicidal tendencies before facing his homosexuality. this excerpt makes it sound like he was suicidal BECAUSE of his homosexuality.

there are lots of other factors involved too. its just not that simple

Yes, this was when his brother made him tell why he did try to kill himself. It was because he was gay. All the emotions of being rejected are there long before one "comes out" and actually hears the rejection and not just from family but, others around the person.

There was one such event that took place in Greenville SC a few months ago. A guy's teenage son hanged himself. In his note he basically said that he didn't enjoy the life his father had planned out for him. He feared his father's rejection.

Personally I knew when I was 7. I feared talking to my parents/friends/relatives for a long time 17 in fear that they would hate me especially coming from a very religious home where people spoke negatively about gays. At some points, yeah I did think about it. Thankfully my fear was much greater than the actual event.

There were 5 of us that I know of that came from the same church which I describe as Westboro Light. One committed suicide and listed the same thing that he fought being gay. Three of us have had to have some severe psychological counseling on into adulthood. One is a recluse that trusts few (sent to an ex-gay counselor as a teen). One is an alcoholic and drug addict.

The risks for gay teens are 2-3 times more than others in statistics.







[edit on 26/12/2008 by toochaos4u]

reply to post by toochaos4u


im not entirely sure what you are trying to say. are you blaming christian upbringing?

That movie looks very good. I'm sure Sigourney Weaver did a terrific job.

How very sad that homosexuality is seen as a disease or something "wrong" with a person or something to be cured or prayed away... Bobby is a victim of the whole mindset that says homosexuality is wrong. I don't care if it's Christian or not, what his mother said, "I will not have a gay son", is just as bad as the worst verbal abuse.

RIP Bobby.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


It seems like it was Bobby's mindset that was sick, since he is the one who did a backflip off of a freeway. I don't mean to sound cold, but that is the reality of the situation. Maybe Bobby had problems rationalizing his current state of being. If I read that right, he timed a truck coming so it would hit him? This was a very sick kid.

So his parents didn't approve of his sexual preference? My parents didn't approve of a whole lot of things I did - but I put in my time, under their authority and one day moved out and lived my life, the way I wanted it. Why couldn't Bobby do that?

That's what the vast majority of teens realize, at some point and are able to look to the future instead of fixating on the 'here and now."

reply to post by toochaos4u


Oh man, truly moving. It's so tragic when people feel that they are broken or wrong somehow when they are not. Having such a false dichotomy can be crushing to one's spirit.

I had a friend who took his own life 3 years back from depression. It's just a waste, a tragic waste of life.

Being bisexual and having been raised christian and having been convinced that homosexuality was wrong I know to some degree the kind of self hatred that can come of this stuff. I'm just lucky that I'm not likely to have to meet much persecution in my future for what I am or what I do.


Myrtales Instinct

but I put in my time, under their authority and one day moved out and lived my life, the way I wanted it. Why couldn't Bobby do that?

With all due respect, you are not Bobby. Who knows how different your mindsets could have been. It's likely that his distress did not come from disapproval from his parents but disapproval of himself. He would have believed himself to be broken and when he couldn't be fixed, he would have lost all hope.

[edit on 29/12/2008 by Good Wolf]

reply to post by toochaos4u


Ive seen this before! Thanks for posting it here!!

You know whats sad.. With this line of thinking.. People who are sick with like cancer, or mental illness would be damned to hell by fanatics and extreamists!!

We still live in a time where ignorance rains! And there is so much more to learn about many things in life..

So people who are born with Cancer are doomed to go to hell too?
Its not true.. but just a point to make..

Being gay is not something that can be cured!!! As there is nothing wrong with being gay in any sense!

Yet Its not my place to drive that into peoples minds.. They will come around when they are ready..
Its frustrating.. But those people who feel that Gays need to be cured, may never come around.. And they are allowed to think this way..
And more than welcome to express that in public threads and posts..
As it only serves to expose their true charater and true nature..

Infact it works to help everyone see just how vile and ignorant that line of thinking can be..
Time will tell... And those who feel gays are sick, May have mental issues themselfs.

And its sad that these same sick people inturn make others mentally ill aswell.. Gay people who are on the edge are no different than a straight person on the edge. Most of the time all it takes is that small little push, and off the edge they go.. And its down right sickening to me that people can be so cruel.. Family that are suppose to love one another can be divided down the line by such teaching..

It should be a lesson learned.. Religious teachings can lead a gay, or straight person to kill themselfs. Out of fear and or ignorance.
Its sad.. And this movie did make me cry.
As my little sister is very hurtful to me.. And she has even tried her very best to try to push me over that edge.
She has litterally taunted me and told me straight to my face I should just kill myself becasue Im a queer.
It hurts.. And hurts deeply as its a family member saying such things.

Most people can shrug off attacks from strangers, and others.. But when its your own family.. IT cuts deep..
But Im still here.. So I have learned from others, and grown a pretty thick damn skin.
Yet I really don't want to get into it all here.. But this is a very touching movie.. And can teach a person alot about life..
Being gay is not an illness. Or mental illness..
Yet family problems can lead to depression, and other mental illness that goes both ways.. Straight and gay alike are human.. We all have feelings.
Yet why is it, that many forget about that? I will never understand.


[edit on 14-7-2009 by zysin5]

You can't cure choice. As it is a choice, persuing some kind of weird process to "cure" it is pointless. If someone doesn't want to be gay, they won't be gay, its that simple. If someone chooses to be gay and they embrace it, there isn't anything in the world that can "cure" it.

Anybody who is subjected to bullying has a higher rate of suicide period. There really is no one group of those being bullied that stands out from the rest, statistically.

I'd attribute his suicide to a sense of self-loathing. No one asks themself "What's wrong with me?" if the only thing bothering them is other people's opinions. Asking that question means someone has put themself under a microscope and will never be happy with themselves regardless of what the initial topic may have been.

Next thing you know, anything that goes wrong (bad outcome of anything really) he attributes to himself and his self-perpetuating overall sense of being a failure. One day, he hit critical mass and hated himself so much that he wanted to destroy himself by his own hand. Its the only way he felt he could compensate for being, in his mind, a failure. Happens to a lot of people and it didn't really have anything to do with him being gay other than that most likely being the catalyst of him falling into that mindset.

reply to post by zysin5

This is true that one cannot change the mind of someone dead set against you as it is like speaking to a brick wall. My uncle is of such. He is a racist. He despises black people, jews, gays. But, he is family and I am kind to him when I see him. At the same time he is full of poison.

As time goes on though he has walled himself into his own prison because he is no longer invited to family functions because guess what! There are blacks, jews, gays that attend. His generation is dying off and soon he will be gone with only knowledge of hatred that nobody wants to pass on.

There does need to be a voice for people to hear for those that are gay and thinks they are alone or the family member that wishes to understand.

The movie was very good, a little rushed (maybe the budget of Lifetime). Thanks for your post.

reply to post by Good Wolf


What is wrong with you people????Homosexuality is very wrong...It's un-natural.How can the most intelligent beings be so confused about this?Christian or no christian,that little voice inside of your head is saying,this is'nt right!!!!EVEN ANIMALS KNOW THAT THE MALE GOES TO THE FEMALE.......WOW....

reply to post by topsycrets


If it is indeed wrong, they will be held accountable for it by the one we are all to be held accountable to. If it isn't, they won't be. No need for you to stress over it as I used to.