Okay, I just about peed myself this made me laugh so hard.
Take any of the Harry Potter books, and replace the word "wand" with the word "wang."
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was
in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work. Your father, on the other
hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches."
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
"Get - off - me!" Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right
maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
(couple quotes that aren't on the above site)
Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wang was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret.
"Not to worry, not to worry," said Dumbledore pleasantly; he took out his wang, gave it a little flick, and a squishy chintz armchair appeared out
of nowhere next to Harry.
"Just because you're allowed to use magic now, you don't have to whipe your wang out for every tiny little thing!"
Sirius pushed his chair roughly aside and strode around the table towards Snape, whipping his wang out as he went; Snape whipped out his own.
"Don't put your wang there, boy!" roared Moody.
[Edited on 17-2-2004 by Banshee]